Get ready to swallow!

Sebastian was almost gagging. “That’s it,” I said. “Take it all in…” “I can’t,” he stammered, resisting. “You’re going to swallow, all of it,” I insisted. “Open wide.” Let me explain, Sebastian has been suffering from a bit of a cold lately and is having trouble getting over it. I decided a nice Kale-Ginger smoothie would give him …

Fire and Furry.

I’m emailing you having just returned from the heart unit, where I am happy to relate that Bernard is in the process of recovery from his rather unfortunate incident with a carrot.  This is much to the relief of Max, who for a moment thought he may have blood (or rather carrot juice) on his hands after shooting …

Bernard goes beyond.

Bernard goes beyond. Hi, Well, I’m sure you’re aware of the latest events around Bernard being shot in the chest with a carrot – if not you can catch up here – which has left us all very worried about his health. To get you up to date, it wasn’t until several hours after he’d been carted off in the ambulance, following Max getting …

You’ll be surprised what we squeezed in this week!

I was talking to Bernard, my photographer, earlier today. He’s been helping me select a few of our ‘Pink’ girls photo’s. “Fiona,” he said, “I feel there’s something growing here… developing.” “I’m sure there is, Bernard,” I replied. He spends a lot of time looking at photographs on his computer. “I feel a great thrust …

Just 8 inches!

“Just 8 inches,” groaned Sebastian, my personal trainer. “I’m sorry,” I replied. “8 inches! I just needed 8 inches…” “Well, if I had a nickel for every time…” “No,” said Bernard. ” In the javelin competition my throw was just 8 inches short of the West Coast Games record!” If you like the idea of …

Your pics.

I was with Bernard the other day, on a shoot. Sebastian, my personal trainer, and I were posing for a few outdoor shots. “Jack it off!” He shouted excitedly. “I’m sorry?” I replied. Bernard, my personal trainer, and I were posing by a lake, and Bernard was some distance away using his enormous long lens. …