Accept yourself as you are – create yourself as you desire.
You won’t believe what Sebastian is covered in! Hi, Sebastian, my personal trainer, was standing in my kitchen, looking distraught. It’s not a good look for a slim man in spandex. He’d cycled over to my place for a coffee. “The stuff’s everywhere,” he moaned. “I can’t move in my apartment, there’s so much Jiz …
Continue reading “You won’t believe what Sebastian is covered in!”
I arrived home on Saturday morning to a house full of guests. Max, my next door neighbours 20 year old son, had let himself in as he often does these days, Sebastian had arrived early for my yoga session, and as I walked into the kitchen, there was Sylvester clutching a twelve incher in his …
Continue reading “Max is teabagging Sebastian in my basement!”
Tragedy strikes in Huckleberry Close, but don’t worry – my nails look perfect! Become a Patron!
The awful truth about the nefarious vegetable emerges. Become a Patron!
Max shoved a carrot up Max’s exhaust pipe! Become a Patron!
So tonight I’ll tell you about a rather unusual episode, that happened outside my house this morning. Sebastian turned up on his racing bicycle, looking rather sweaty in his spandex shorts and tight tee shirt. As you probably know, I love cycling. I find it keeps me in shape, and gives me the perfect excuse …
I was quite shocked this morning when Sebastian appeared in my kitchen with his sausage in his hand. Sebastian, as you doubtless know, is my personal trainer. “That thing’s enormous,” I said, as he held it out in front of me. “I know,” he replied with a cheeky smile. “It’s Jamaican.” Sebastian loves to make …
I’ve always felt great support in my yoga, knowing that Sebastian is right behind me, whether I am doing a forward fold or a sun salutation. Always knowing he’s there to plunge in and make sure I don’t overdo it is a constant source of reassurance for me. At his suggestion I am including a …
At last there is sunshine as we move into the early spring here in Vancouver. I realise that we’re not all in the northern hemisphere, however the vast majority of my members have slogged through a difficult winter and will be with me when I say I am thrilled to be seeing the sun once …
Continue reading “Sebastian’s got trouble with a stiff one.”
The other night Bernard was being uncharacteristically quiet at the table in the restaurant, with my friends and I enjoying the New Year celebrations. Sylvester and Ali were laughing. I remember, particularly, as I was explaining that while in Australia last year, between photoshoots, I had been diving and had been describing the various merits …
Continue reading “Bernard is choking on Sebastian’s sausage.”
Hi, ‘Well, it all sounds highly suspicious to me,” I said. “And, Ali, I thought you said you had a word with Jeff in immigration. You were going to have him stopped at the airport.” Ali looked a little sheepish and then said quietly, “He took the lunchtime flight.” “So?” I asked. “Well he was …
It’s been such an active period. And I must say, I’ve been surprised by Sebastian, as he’s been putting me through my paces in my fitness regime. This gives me a great opportunity to dress in some lovely outfits. I do, of course, take a keen interest in sport. I’ve been noticing a lot of talk …
Continue reading “Sebastian’s going to give me one in the bunker!”
What an extraordinary week it has been, with the most exciting things happening about the place. But before I get into that, I will first answer a couple of quick questions from my valued members. Yes, Ellie in Texas, when you have a costume party to celebrate your ten years NRA membership a piñata is …
Continue reading “Max shoved his carrot up Sebastian’s exhaust pipe!”
The winter months are always fun in an advertising agency. Even more so for myself, as I have several skiing related accounts. It was this that brought me, Bernard my photographer and Sebastian, my personal trainer to the beautiful mountain village of Whistler in Beautiful British Columbia last month. I found myself here partly to …
“Push your bum back a bit,” said Sebastian, maneuvering behind me. “Oh, Sebastian,” I said, perspiration dripping from my brow. “That’s better,” he said pressing his hand into the small of my back. As you probably know, Sebastian is my personal trainer. We often do yoga sessions together. Some of these yoga positions are really …
Continue reading “I need some new eyeshadow for my third eye!”
As perhaps you know I am enjoying a little time away from the hard weather and have slipped of to the Baja, in Mexico. Such a delightful place. However, you can imagine the surprise when I received an excited phone call from Ali, my gardener. “You should have seen it, Miss Fiona. Sylvester slammed his …
Continue reading “Sylvester slammed his tackle roughly in from behind!”
“This knob is very stiff,” I said to Sylvester, as I relaxed in the seat. Oh, I should explain, he’s been installing a new sound system in my car. “I can loosen it a little,” said Sylvester, “but you don’t want it so loose that someone ends up jerking it off. You wouldn’t want that.” …
“Oh my god!” said Sebastian. “Hold still,” I said. “I’ve got to practice putting this make up on, and I’m never going to get it right if you keep twisting around like that.” I slapped Sebastian around his ears and gently began to apply the eye make up. I had foolishly volunteered to do the …
I really do enjoy having a few friends over in the evening. So it was that I found myself, just the other day, hosting a small party with Sylvester, Auntie Kittie, Sebastian, Rainbow and her new friend, Epiphany. Just use those links if you’d like to explore a little more detail of each of these …
“Swallow, Fiona!” said Sebastian, pushing me onward. “But…” I protested, my mouth almost overflowing. Rainbow, Sebastian’s sister, added, “Go on, Fiona. You’ve taken more than a couple of mouthfuls already.” She gave me a knowing look and whispered, “I know you love it really!” Then she lay back on her yoga mat in my garden, …