First of all, to all my concerned friends, I am safe – there’s no need to worry! I survived the Bowing Green Massacre. It was a close thing, but I am ok. I have yet to hear from Bernard, my photographer, but Sylvester, Ali, Sebastian are texted me to say they are ok. Phew!
We’re experiencing a little bit of a cold spell here in the glorious city of Montreal. I keep my house quite warm as I like to do yoga and workout in my large airy living room. Recently my next door neighbour’s twenty year old son, Max, has been joining me to do yoga and then study in the calm of this lovely room.
I was doing some stretches just this morning, when Max was there with his books. He’s quite a diligent student, and is working on his Shakespearean era literature. He always seems to be here, with his nose pressed between the covers of a good book.
As I executed a perfect forward fold from the hips, I asked him if he had a favorite passage.
He looked at me thoughtfully, and then read from one of his text books:
When it lay fallow, smothered in dust,
Ignoble passion turned to lust.
And from his goodly wholesome thighs,
Came forth his manhood of great size.
And finding bended willing game,
He plunged himself into her frame,
With heaving buttocks and strong intent,
He thrust and ground till he was spent.
“Well,” I said, a little taken aback, “that’s very nice, if you like that sort of thing.” At that point I felt I should return to my workout, and did so until the next interruption – my wife’s appalling friend, Amanda phoning thinking my wife had returned from a business trip.
“I’m sorry, Amanda, she’s still in Costa Rica,” I said.
“I don’t blame her,” she replied. “Probably trying to get away from this cold snatch.”
“I’m sorry,” I replied.
“This cold weather.”
“Oh, I see. I thought you said…”
“It’s a cold snatch. Swept in from the north.”
“I’m sure it is,” I said and returned to my workout leaving Amanda to get on with writing this weeks breaking news for Pig And Pig Farmer Weekly. Doubtless Kelly Anne Conway was on the other line to Amanda with an exclusive story for her.
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Have a great Superbowl Weekend.
PS. Just got a text from Bernard. It’s all good!