By now you should have your Profile up in Fiona’s Little Black Book, a nice pic – or even just something simple until you have the time to do a really good one. Now it’s time to think about reaching out to others.
You don’t want to just sit there and wait for someone to connect. That’s just a wee bit too passive. No, as Sebastian said to me while pulling on his spandex cycling shorts, “Gotta get out there and seize the day!”
Actually, anyone wandering around in those shorts should be more concerned about someone grabbing them – there’s just too much on display, if you ask me.
So, now you’re going to send out at least three ‘Requests To Connect’. That’s what we call it when you send a message out to other members of Fiona’s Little Black Book. You might be tempted to send out hundred – but resist this urge. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
The smartest way to do this is to write a simple email – and save the contents in a Word document, or another similar program. Then use it as a template for the various emails you’re going to send out. You’ll be going back to that original document and tweaking it now and then. You may find that initially it’s not generating the responses you’d like to get, so it will need a little polishing. By saving it, and reworking it, you’ll gradually improve the quality.
Just hitting the entire membership in one go would not let you refine the email. So, gradually as you reach out to others, you’ll be refining your message and improving it.
Be sure you say a little about yourself, say a little about what has brought you to Fiona’s Little Black Book, and be sure to mention some of the things on Http://FionaDobson.com that you’ve enjoyed. Then – and this is the important bit – be sure to ask a few questions about the person you’re writing to. You’ll probably have to tailor that part of your email to each individual, based on what they’ve put in their dating profile.
Ask one or two of your friends what aspects of you are appealing to others. Hopefully there are some! Either way, be as honest and as open as you reasonably can be. There’s no point trying to deceive anyone in the Little Black Book. It’s just going to lead to disappointment.
All our members have committed to our Guidelines – http://fionadobson.com/about/the-guidelines/ – so be sure you’re familiar with these and you’ll be well received.
Most members find that if they set aside about thirty minutes every week to send out a set of Requests to Connect, they very soon have a good network of friends developing. It’s great to select one close by, one mid distance, and someone far away. This provides variety and helps those who are far away find connection they need.
Fiona’s Little Black Book is as much about supporting others that feel alone as it is about finding local friends. Don’t be afraid to reach out across the miles.