Sylvester came over for coffee this morning, looking a little downcast. I was quite concerned for millisecond or two. You know I have a very caring nature, I am sure.
As I poured the freshly brewed coffee into his ‘You don’t have to be mad to work here’ mug he spelled out the source of his troubles.
“It’s this yoga class,” he said. “I’ve been going to this studio for a year or so but recently I’ve started doing it remotely, and the studio does it on Zoom.”
“Oh,” I said. “That doesn’t sound very ‘yoga-like’.”
“Lot’s of places do it like that now,” he said.
“I see, so what’s the problem?”
“It’s Captain,” replied Sylvester.
Perhaps you remember Sylvester inherited a parrot, Captain, from a relative who passed away. She had been a school teacher and had owned the beautiful macaw for donkeys years. It had been a big hit at the girls school at which she taught, until someone taught the bird to start using some profane words. For some time now Sylvester has been doing his best to retrain the bird – https://fionadobson.com/you-wont-believe-what-came-across-my-desk/. To be quite honest, though, I think Sylvester is the one who has been trained. He certainly seems to have extended his vocabulary of swear words. This is unsurprising to me.
“I was doing my yoga practice and there were a dozen of us all signed in on Zoom, and the teacher, a friend of Rainbow’s, was there leading the class.”
“Yes, I think I understand,” I said.
“And there on my screen is everyone and the teacher in the centre on the bigger panel. It’s all very sophisticated,’ said Sylvester.
“It sounds like it,” I said humoring him.
“So there I am in cobra, sticking my chest out, when suddenly Captain starts up, squawking away, “Show us your tits, Show us your tits!”. And then, of course the Zoom focus shifts to me as it goes to the sound and I am right in the middle of the screen.”
“Oh,” I said. “That’s awkward. It’s a good job there were only 12 people online!”
“Yeah, except that it’s on the screens in the yoga studio. Apparently they had record attendance. Fifty students,” said Sylvester.
“I see,” I said thoughtfully. “Perhaps you should move him into another room when you’re doing yoga,” I said helpfully.
Sylvester looked at me rather coolly.
“I’ll try to remember that in future,” he said.
“Other than that, how is Captain?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s fine. After that incident I’ve had a few messages from people who want to meet him, oddly enough. My friend Daphanie suggested he should have an OnlyFans page,” he said.
With the cooler weather I have been trying to organise my social calendar more thoughtfully. I do, of course, enjoy the Curling Season. I like to support the local team. I keep an eye on the scores and regularly get them down for the team. It’s a very social sport.
Auntie Kittie keeps asking me to join her card playing friends, they’re always looking for new victims. She likes an evening of cards often wrapping up with having some blackjack or some stud poker. At least I think that’s how she explained it.
Personally I’ve never liked the idea of gambling with card games. I can see myself getting into awful trouble, loosing everything and being forced into some terrible circumstances and forced into poverty. I might have to resort to sex work, or worse still, journalism. Urgh.
I want to make a special shout out today to my friend Andy, who is in Warsaw and has been marking this week of Transgender Awareness week. You can find her channel here – https://www.youtube.com/@Andy_trans_education/videos Andy’s videos are very sincere and authentic. I think you will find them interesting and informative.
I am currently transitioning my programs to Patreon. You can follow me there for free, or join one of the tiers (from as little as $1 a month). You can find my Patreon here – http://Patreon.com/fionadobsonCD
Have a great week.
🙂
Fiona Dobson.
