As a crossdresser working in a busy advertising agency, I am often asked to involve myself on projects that are a complete waste of time, and serve no purpose whatsoever. With this in mind I’ve been forced to come up with ways to extract myself from situations in the workplace with apparently plausible refusals, without actually appearing to refuse at all.
This is a short but valuable guide for people who need to say ‘no’, without giving offence. In it I’ll deal with a few suggestions, some of which will save your corporate career. There’s a few things here that may have a practical application in the personal realm, but this is more aimed at the professional workplace. I know you’ll find it to be of help.
Fiona.Continue reading “Getting To No – Telling clients and co-workers to sod off without offending them.”
“Oh Andy! It’s wonderful to find someone so normal!”
Clothes Maketh The Man Part 29 is out now on Patreon.
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Andy finds himself embroiled in some dirty habits, in Part 28 of Clothes Maketh The Man – now on my basic level of Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/posts/25405143
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‘Well, it all sounds highly suspicious to me,” I said. “And, Ali, I thought you said you had a word with Jeff in immigration. You were going to have him stopped at the airport.”
Ali looked a little sheepish and then said quietly, “He took the lunchtime flight.”
“So?” I asked.
“Well he was on his break,” said Ali. Then he added, as though it explained everything, “He had to take his dog to the vet.”
“Yes, Fiona.”Continue reading “Sebastian’s slipped out.”
I can hardly believe how vibrant our group on Whatsapp has become. We have some real characters chatting daily, and there’s really never a dull moment there now.
This weekend we had chat going on from the Vancouver Drag Ball, about archery, the woes of teaching teenagers and any number of crossdress related issues. It’s a well run and moderated group which feels like going to a local cafe and hanging out with a few friends.
Members often post ideas, suggestions and supportive chats, as well as their pics and stories of what’s happening for them. We’ve all become friends and support one another.
If you’d like to join just check out the requirements here and see if it’s for you.
It’s only $10 a month and is built to be a friendly and supportive environment. Come on in and join the conversation.
I will admit that going out to dinner with Sylvester in a formal setting is somewhat like taking out a baboon in a tuxedo, however I do enjoy dressing for dinner and using any excuse to wear an evening gown.
Of course, my work at the advertising agency does require me to attend several formal dinners every month. So, with this in mind I thought I’d give a little attention to the idea of more formal wear.
So many times I’ve seen my lovely members spend their time and energy on lingerie without giving proper attention to the other dressing opportunities that present themselves. Having a few friends over for a formal dinner is a lovely way to celebrate at home, and presents a great opportunity to enjoy some delightful clothes in a comfortable setting.
A lovely aspect of so many of these dresses is that they do show of the shape of the body so well. So if you are inclined to either use body shapers or really work on your physical shape, they are a great addition to any crossdressing wardrobe. And what better excuse do you need to wear a corset?
Ordering online is increasingly easy and of course the selection is very broad. Be sure you check measurements, as there’s no joy in finding you’re squeezing into something that’s really too small.
You know keeping your body in shape is never a bad idea. However most gym exercises are very yang in nature – elevating the core energy of the body. There’s a great deal to be gained by releasing the tension in the body through a more yin form of exercise. That’s why yin yoga, or a hatha yoga class is so very important.
Some people identify this as a more feminine form of energy. I don’t really go quite that far, but I do feel that releasing tension through the use of yin yoga calm both the body and the mind. This allows me to be myself – a very feminine person.
Now, since Sebastian, my personal trainer, is off on some foolish jaunt to Molvania, teaching the less fortunate of the world about the benefits of being a vegan, I am left to take care of my own personal training needs. Honestly, how can someone be so selfish! He’s doing a stint with Personal Trainers Without Borders. Seems very egocentric to me.
Instead I will have to do my own yoga routine, along with Julie, Katia and Marjory from next door. Sylvester offered to come round and help me realign my chakras, but I’m not entirely sure that he interprets that the same way as I do. To be honest he’s far more useful greasing a half shaft and helping me with my fluids. In the car. He really can be very coarse at times.
However, I do think I should talk a little about exercise and how very important it is for all of us who crossdress. You may remember my photographer, Bernard, recently had some heart troubles resulting in a heart transplant. I am convinced this is because he doesn’t exercise properly. He really should be more committed. Admittedly being tazered certainly didn’t help. None the less he should be more aware of his health. Mind you, he’s not as bad as his brother, Fat Stewart. He hauls his bloated carcass around in a Ford F150 and is only likely to lose weight if he gets flensed.
So, after chatting with Marissa, one of my lovely members, I was put in mind of some of the benefits of exercising in the proper manner. That’s right, as a crossdresser it’s not as simple as merely going into a gym and lifting weights. If you want to look like Sylvester Stallone in a dress that might work for you, but if you’re looking for a more feminine shape it’s not going to do the things you’re looking for.
Most typical gym exercises are very yang in nature. The elevate the energy within the core of the body. As a crossdresser you’re looking for something a little different. Pumping iron bunches up the muscles and can even elevate anxiety. This is the reverse of where you want to be.
When you swim, particularly breast stroke, you are releasing energy. A slow methodical pace, using each stroke to release and push away tension, leave the body relaxed and supple. Crawl, or swimming in an over arm stroke, is more like a core exercise and isn’t what you’re looking for. The yin-like exercise of breast stroke, preferably daily, is extremely healthy and calming. It’s gentle. That feels more like where you need to go, doesn’t it?
Doing yoga is one of the best ways to allow your feminine energy to emerge. There’s no rocket science here. Getting into either Hatha, or better still, Yin yoga is a great way to find that side of yourself. Now, a word of caution. Don’t just wander into any yoga class, if you’re not sure what you’re looking for. An Ashtanga yoga class has more in common with a martial arts workout than what you likely think yoga is. You are looking for Hatha or Yin styles of yoga.
If you’re unable to get into a class I can thoroughly recommend Esther Ekhart’s website here: https://www.ekhartyoga.com/
I don’t get paid to recommend Esther. She’s lovely.
Have a lovely week, and try to get into a yoga class. If you’re a Patron and Seahorse Level of higher, you can also enjoy this spectacular self hypnosis file to make the experience all the more exciting and feminine.
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I’ve just come to my office from a heated debate that took place in my kitchen first thing this morning just when I was getting ready to update my Pinterest with some lovely crossdressing fashion ideas. I’d just had my yoga session with Amanda and Marjory, when I cornered Sebastian, my personal trainer, to ask him about his forthcoming trip to Molvania to work with Personal Trainers Without Borders.
“But Sebastian,” I said, the concern oozing from my every syllable, “why Molvania? It’s hardly a travel destination anyone envies.”
“Oh, I don’t know? I had an aunt that went there to get married. It seemed quite a bargain, and the hotel seemed eager for the business.”
“Really? What did she think of it?”
“Well, funny thing. That was the last we ever heard of her or the wedding party.”
“You see? That’s what I’m talking about.” I was exasperated. I know Sebastian has this thing about ‘adventure travel’, and it’s true he has been some pretty wild places – punctuated by long hospital stays and some unusual insurance claims – but those were essentially recreational in nature. Well, as recreational as extreme gastric distress can be. Giardia hardly qualifies as an Olympic sport.
“I just don’t see why you need to teach Molvanians about diet. It’s not like they have a famine or anything.”
Sebastian looked a little disheartened.
“Fiona,” he sighed. “I just want to do my bit. Personal Trainers Without Borders has asked me to help. How can I say no?”
“Well, how many others have they got working in Molvania?” I asked.
“I know they sent two other people to the area I’m going to.” He said.
“And how are they getting along?”
“Well, they’ve not actually managed to report back yet. One may be in prison. They didn’t seem very clear about it.” At this even Sebastian looked a little doubtful.
“I’m not letting you go!” I said. This was ridiculous. Even my wife, an experienced traveler of many years wouldn’t go unless there was a good chance she’d be coming back. I must admit I’ve had my doubts about the nature of her travel at times. “Serving the community” can cover a multitude of sins, after all. But Sebastian is comparatively innocent (not a word that immediately springs to mind when describing my wife). We might never get to see Sebastian again. He’d be a mere memory of spandex cycling shorts and feint smell of homeopathic muscle balm that had been carried off in the wind.
“I will not be found wanting!” declared Sebastian heroically.
I should give you some background. Sebastian is not short of courage. He’s been up the Devil’s Danglers, pioneering the ‘shaft ascent’ more than once and is proven in the field of extreme adventure sports. He tells us that moments after he was born he fell from the delivery bed, only to be caught up by the umbilical cord, giving him a credible claim to being the worlds youngest bungee jumper. However, none of this justified the unnecessary risk of going to the wilds of Molvania, to educate the locals about nutrition.
“I shall speak to Bernard,” I said forcefully. “He’s got a brother in the Canadian Border Services. He’ll have a word with the boys in charge and they’ll pull your passport. We’ll say you’re of unsound mind! I think his brother’s name’s Jeff.”
At this point Ali, my Syrian gardener leaned in through the window where he’d been trimming my bush.
“I know Jeff,” piped up Ali. “Is he Bernard’s brother?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I’ll tell him not to let Sebastian out, if you like,” said Ali helpfully.
“Ali! That’s unfair,” protested Sebastian.
“Don’t tell me about it,” replied Ali, a look of concerned resignation on his face. “Tell Jeff. I think he’s got a form you can fill in. Something like that.”
So you see, things are all of a quiver here in Huckleberry Close. I think it’s spring fever. Now, if you’d like to help me along and jump into my Patreon you’d be doing me a huge favor. I’m trying to get it up to fifty as quickly as possible. You can join for as little as just $1 a month.
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What a beautiful spring morning here in Huckleberry Close. It’s a very special day for me, though you likely don’t realise it. Three years ago today I started writing the story ‘Clothes Maketh The Man’, which led to the development of my program and this extraordinary journey.
In that time, as close as Max and I can calculate, something like 85,000 people have enjoyed the story. I find this on the one hand encouraging, and on the other a little disturbing!
In celebration I think Sylvester and Ali have something planned. They keep making spurious excuses to drop by mid morning. Sylvester tells me he wants to ‘check my fluids’, which I think has something to do with the car. Ali is insistent that he was to drop of a couple of hoes. At least that’s what I think he said. He has been wanting new gardening equipment.
Anyway, it’s also International Women’s Day, and in honor of that I am including a video one of my dearest members suggested. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!
Have a lovely day,
Fiona.Become a Patron!