Christmas Wishes and the Can Pipes.

Some of you will remember that my mechanic, Sylvester, is a bit of an inventor. His last invention, the Boner, did ok and was technologically sound, but (ironically) never achieved the market penetration he’d hoped.

This morning I was startled to awake to a strange haunting sound coming from the direction of Sylvester’s workshop. At first I thought that the city was testing it’s Early Warning System, originally used to forewarn of a nuclear attack, but now consigned to warn of any of Donald Trumps family infiltrating Canada. I was however mistaken. The sound would come and go, like a ghostly melody drifting across a post apocalyptic landscape, or Detroit. Several residents of Huckleberry Close were congregating outside their houses looking worried, until the sounds faded away.

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Jingle All The Way – Mollie Blake

Jingle All The Way by Mollie Blake

David harbors a secret inner self. You’re going to love Diana! Enjoy more Mollie Blake here!

It was just two weeks before Christmas when David pulled up outside a small remote cottage in the heart of the New Forest, England. He, or rather Diana, sometimes rented this place to escape. Here, there was no one to hide from. His suitcase was full of flouncy dresses and skirts, sparkly festive tops, sexy lingerie and make-up, with space left for some colourful running gear.

The fresh air of the forest made running here a lot more endurable than jogging on the treadmill in the gym, and the eye-catching patterned Lycra and pink bandana made it a lot more fun.

On the second morning, clad in tight-fitting black and white animal print Lycra with a length of tinsel tied around his waist, a shocking pink bandana and gloves to match, and run-proof(!) mascara with fuchsia lipstick, David set off down the track. Along the ten mile trail he was accompanied by nothing more than chilly air and crunching leaves and twigs beneath his feet.

“Hey! Sorry to interrupt your run but could you do me a huge favour?”

The voice appeared to come from a massive brown dog, and it stopped David in his tracks. Fuck! That’s a big dog.

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The only thing that looks good on me is you!

The Christmas season has sneaked up on us. As I write this I am mixing eggnog ingredients in the kitchen, Sylvester is sorting bottles of whiskey, rum and Brandy, the doorbell is ringing and Auntie Kittie has just arrived. I swear she picks up the smell of alcohol from eight houses away and then appears at my front door.

We are celebrating quite happily here, the Canucks having just beaten the Senators 5-2 a couple of days ago. Sylvester is very jovial, and we’ve decided to come up with a special recipe for eggnog. We are testing some of the ingredients tonight. Sebastian will be along shortly.

In a few days I will be posting my recipe and I’ll offer a prize to the best picture from one of my Patrons drinking Fiona’s Eggnog. The only catch is, yes, you must crossdressed at the time. So, look out for that competition in about a week.

Can you believe I posted this video three years ago. Yes, it’s been three years. I’ve been sharing myself with you for that long! I put the dresses in the video as it all seemed to fit so well. By the way, if you’re looking for winter clothing ideas you can find some on my Pinterest HERE.

For those who are unaware, Bryan is a regular face around Vancouver. He told me once he wrote a song for me – When You’re Gone – because he thought I was dashing off from Vancouver to Montreal so often. Really, what a silly boy! I suppose one can hardly blame him. It’s awfully busy out there on the road touring all the time and I expect he does get a little lonely.

If this message is a bit disjointed it’s because I’ve just had to explain to Auntie Kittie that the recipe we’re working on calls for Rum, Whiskey, Brandy or Bourbon. The issue seems to be the word ‘or’. She’s looking a little peekie.

Well, perhaps we should turn up Bryan and ask Mistress Meg, Katia, Marjory and Amanda to come over and join us. Things are disintegrating swiftly. Ali is outside admiring his Smart car. In an effort to keep with the seasonal spirit he’s been looking for some reindeer antlers to attach to the front of the vehicle. I mentioned this to Sylvester, who has lent him a rack of moose antlers from a bull moose he shot in the Yukon a couple of years ago. The only problem is that the antlers may be bigger than the car. Not to worry. It certainly looks impressive. Very festive.

Be sure to keep a look out for the Christmas Eggnog competition. It’s open to all my Patrons, and the prize will be Premium Program membership.

Have a wonderful evening.

😊

Fiona

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