They are the questions that have haunted every British crossdresser for the last three years.
Well, it’s done. It is what it is. It’s time to keep calm and carry on and put on something hot. Here’s a few ideas to get you going.
In just a few hours – at 23.01 GMT Britain will have left the European Union. While in many ways nothing changes, there will be a series of administrative shifts that will change the cornerstone of British foreign, economic and social policies. The following twelve months will result in a series of trade changes that gradually will take effect. Just as a reminder, the average time for a trade deal to be completed is… seven years. In other words, things will change but at a very slow pace. Most of the real change will be in the minds of the populace.
While some will find this a sad moment and others celebrate a sense of new sovereignty, the reality is we really don’t know how this is going to go. If ever there was a time to say, “I’m putting on some nice new panties and will keep calm and carry on”, this is the time.
So, pour a nice glass of wine (probably French) and settle down and watch the fun. It’s going to be interesting. One thing you can be sure of – Britain is very good at adapting and moving forward. This is likely to be the case this time too.
A final thought… In ten years time this may make more sense. The UK may be the first of several countries that choose to leave, for one reason or another. So, time will give some perspective. In the meantime, put on those heels and put your best foot forward!
I was a little surprised to see Ali in my garden this morning, spying over the fence in Marjorie’s direction, looking through an enormous pair of binoculars. Now, you’ll remember Marjorie is Amanda’s lover.
It’s very cold at this time of year and much of the wildlife
of the garden retreats into the foliage where it’s warmer. Ali takes a keen
interest in such things.
I quietly crept up beside Ali and tried to see what he was
looking at so intently.
“What on earth are you looking at, Ali?” I asked quietly,
pulling my robe tightly around my body.
“It’s Marjorie’s pussy,” he whispered back.
A moment later Marjorie’s back door swung out and she came
striding across the garden towards us, her impressive physique sailing toward
us like a battle ship with sixteen inch guns primed and being brought to bare directly
“What on earth are you doing?” she asked, arms crossed across
her thinly veiled breasts and looking like thunder.
“I was watching your pussy,” said Ali.
Thinking I’d better diffuse the situation before the chill
air exposed any of us further I invited Marjorie in for a cup of tea, and Ali
joined us in the kitchen.
“I don’t much like being spied upon,” said Marjorie, as I poured
the tea. At that very moment Sylvester
arrived and joined us in the kitchen. He placed hi enormous mug on the table
beside our delicate tea cups, and smiled expectantly.
Ali piped up, “I’m not spying on you. I was just checking out your pussy.” I do
wonder about Ali’s language skills at times.
Sylvester smiled, and I shot him a glance hoping he’d get
the message to behave.
Ali continued, “it was about to get the thrush.”
Marjorie looked livid.
“I’ve noticed they’ve been getting into your bush in this
cool weather,” he added not helping himself very much.
I managed to calm Marjorie down, and assured her Ali meant
no disrespect. It’s so easy to offend when dealing with such sensitivities. I
suppose I have learned to be more careful in my language recently. Especially
with all the talk about pronouns we hear these days. I do find that the best
approach is to try and be as sensitive to others needs as possible. After all,
in the end we are all just trying to get along as nicely and with as much
kindness as possible. I do feel that is the approach that brings the best in
good taste to our friendships and our relationships.
Indeed, I was feeling rather pleased with myself as we all
enjoyed some Danish pastries and a lovely cup of tea and chatted. You’ll probably
appreciate that this is one of my great skills. Bringing calm where there was agitation
and disruption, before I arrived.
As I walked Marjorie to the back door when it was time to go
she smiled at me and squeezed my hand.
“I’m sorry if I’m over sensitive, Fiona,” she said.
“Oh, don’t be so silly,” I said. I added, “Besides, in
spring I can hardly wait to see your tits in the garden myself,” and closed the
door behind her.
As the new year rolls into action I have been working with
Sebastian, my personal trainer, to tone and shape my body. He is a very helpful
young man, I must say.
I am determined that this year I will eat more healthily and
reduce my carbon footprint in 2020. Perhaps a few less flights, and a few more
vegetables are in order. Don’t you think it is important to enjoy a healthy amount
of fresh fruit in your diet?
Last night it was a delightful surprise to be invited to a
cocktail party held by a friend of Sebastian’s sister, Rainbow. While Rainbow
is a certified carrot crunching yoga hippie, some of her yoga clients are quite
unusual people. It was pleasant to be invited to one of their parties at a very
exclusive address and I was interested to see how it would work out. After all,
it can be exhausting having parties with Sylvester, Ali and Amanda, that often
disintegrate into mayhem and occasionally someone being tied up and abandoned naked
in a public park at 3 am. I suppose this is what you get for associating with
people who need to have their back shaved periodically – and that’s just
Amanda. How nice it would be to meet some people of quality.
In preparation I was thrilled to find that The Drag Queen Closet has a great new range of evening gowns on sale at present – you can see some of them here – I’d recently received one of their creations that was perfect for the night.
By the time I had got dressed and ready I must say I really
did look quite spectacular, if a little overdressed. Nonetheless, it’s nice to
go over the top now and then.
Sebastian and I arrived and were shown into the ornate house
and met by Carina (there’s always a Carina), Rainbow’s client. She swept up to
us looking spectacular in her little black cocktail number. She carried a tray loaded down with hors
Sebastian introduced us and our hostess beamed an expensive
“Would you like a clam? Or perhaps a cocktail sausage?” she
asked. “Oh, and which pronoun do you prefer, he, she or them?”
The tiny woman was almost vibrating with energy. I sensed
she’d been doing a few too many yoga classes. She would likely benefit from a
nice cleansing turkey enema.
I looked at Carina quizzically, trying to decide whether she
was joking, and to see if her choice of hors d’oevre was somehow connected with
the pronouns question. At that moment Rainbow appeared, and gave her brother a
“Hey,” said Sebastian smiling at her. “You look…”
Sebastian was searching for words.
Carina chimed in cheerfully, “Earthy! That’s what I said!
Rainbow you look so very ‘earthy’. I wish I was so brave,” she added.
Rainbow looked confused and replied, “Brave?”
“Yes, I mean I would never have been so brave as to make my
own clothes. And wear them out,” said Carina. “Fiona, would you like a drink? I
have a couple of special cocktails. Perhaps you’d like the carrot and Kale with
a shot of vodka. Or maybe the Orange and langoustine gin. You should try them.
I invented them myself.”
“Well, I am trying to eat and drink in a healthy way for the
new year. Perhaps the orange and langoustine
gin.” I glanced around the room at the very fashionable set of guests. The
ratio of chins to people was definitely on the low side. “And you’d better make
it a double. But do me a favor and hold the orange.” I paused a moment and then
said, “and the langoustines.”
Sebastian slipped off in search of a proper drink and headed
toward what looked like a bar, followed by Carina.
As she hurried off, Rainbow turned to me looking confused and
said, “Did she just say my clothes are worn out? I think I’ve been insulted,
but I’m not sure.”
“Oh,” I said, “You’ve been insulted. But I wouldn’t worry
about it. Let’s drink the silly cow’s gin and go and get some poutine at The
Junction. They’ve got a show on at 10.”
Sebastian reappeared at that moment and said that Carina’s husband,
Nigel (it had to be), had offered him the most disgusting cocktail he’d ever tasted.
“It’s one part gin, one part coca cola and a teaspoon of
olive oil. He calls it an Exxon Valdez. I had it on the rocks, but it was so
disgusting I spilled it into that aquarium.”
Across the room there was a very expensive looking aquarium
that was looking a little the worse for having an Exxon Valdez poured into it.
Carina returned with our drinks and then went on to
circulate with some of the many other guests.
“I think it’s time to bounce,” I said to Sebastian and
Rainbow. Let’s go somewhere everyone knows our names.
I hope you’re getting the new year off to a wonderful start.
If you’ve not already singed up to my Patreon please join me at the $1 level
here – http://Patreon.com/fionadobson
and help me make 2020 a fantastic year.