I’m helping Bernard get it up.

Yes, it’s that time again.  About now each year, as the spring air wafts it’s way through Bernard’s little warren of a house by the sea, he always asks me to come over, scramble about the place and help him get it up.

I am, of course, referring to the mast on his little boat which is now coming out of storage and being prepared for the bay. Once again it will feel the salty spray of the sea on it’s bow.  I can also taste a little salty taste on my lips, but that’s from something entirely different. That reminds me, I should get some Scope mouthwash at the store this morning.

We do enjoy our days sailing, Bernard banging on about how his luff is crinkled in his cordwangle, and Sylvester, or Sebastian huffing and puffing and pulling things. I find it very relaxing in the nice weather. Even Amanda comes out from time to time, lounging on the foredeck and reading her copy of The big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories. Yes, that’s a real thing.

Seahorse members can enjoy an exclusive story on my site, taking a look behind the scenes at what really went on during filming of Scooby Doo, with Velma and Daphne.

In a funny way, and it’s hard to admit this, I have come to accept Amanda. The fact that she had a relationship with my wife when they were at university together is not something I hold against her, exactly. If anything I am a little jealous of the fact that she beat me to it. Nonetheless, my wife has made it quite clear I am not to antagonise Amanda. My dear wife is currently traveling, as you may know. She’s been in the north of England lately, visiting somewhere called Rochdale, and then she tells me she’s going Upper Ramsbotham.  She’s very liberal minded.

It seems everyone is eager to travel now that things are easing. Marjory, Amanda’s lover and my neighbor, is getting ready for the Competitive eating circuit, which is once more on the table – excuse the pun. She’s always keen to get in shape for each leg of the competitions.  She loves to travel for the events, and Amanda often goes down to enjoy some time with her between the legs. Such a romantic couple.

But that is not the main reason I’m writing. I thought I’d let you know that, although we’re likely to see a few changes in Twitter in the coming months, I am as keen to stay connected on my social media as ever.  Perhaps you’d enjoy my Pinterest, Linked in or Tumblr. I always try to include interesting content there. Follow me if you feel like it, and you know you can always find me at http://FionaDobson.com

I’m working on my lovely spring wardrobe. If you like you can see some of my ideas for it HERE. If you have some great ideas for what to wear now that spring is up us why not login and comment below? I will provide free good gurl membership to the first three comments.

Have a delightful week.

😊

Fiona.

PS. Don’t forget, when you see one of the names as a hotlink or in a tag at the end of a post, you can drill down to read more about that person. It’s a fun way to explore the site. FD

Are you a ditz?

I do find it irritating in the extreme when Rainbow wanders in announcing that she’s ‘a complete ‘ditz’ when it comes to technology stuff’. Really, there’s no such word as ‘ditz’, and it’s not technology ‘stuff’!

“Look, you daft bat,” is what I should have said. But instead I said, “Look, if you want to get even more out of the website, all you have to do is register, and then log in. You can leave comments, connect with people, and do all sorts of things.”

“That sounds wonderful,” she said. “And I get one of those ‘Profiles’ that people can see?”

I let out a sigh and then explain “Yes, you get a profile. And of course you can put a picture up.”

I have to tell you that I love to read the comments on the posts. The one’s on My First Time are some of the best. I know that many members find that there is some very helpful content among them. If you click on the tags at the end of any of the posts you can drill down on the subject. It’s pretty clever.

I also feel that now, especially as Twitter is likely to be changing, providing my members with a place they can communicate and express their ideas seems more important than ever. If you’d like to participate be sure to:

  1. Register.
  2. Make a note of your login name and password.
  3. Log in regularly and participate by posting comments.

And now, I have to take care of Auntie Kittie, who is coming up the road clutching her latest diary entry, written in a pink notebook! God, you’d think she could learn to email it! And just to round things off, Amanda seems to be arriving next door, and heading this way.

She’s waving and saying something about having a german shepherd’s head buried in her crotch. I think she’s been walking down at the dog park. Or not.

Honestly. Is there no peace?

Is Marjory Taylor Greene a man?

I was sitting at my breakfast table this very morning when my friend Rainbow arrived a little early for an enjoyable get together we have once a week to paint each other’s toe nails.  As it happened Sylvester was at my place doing some odd jobs, having recently changed my oil and having had a quick look at my plumbing.

As As you likely know, Rainbow is my personal trainer’s sister.   She is somewhat winsome and fey, being of the komboucha ilk, but I do enjoy her company, except when she’s talking about her new organic kale based vaginal hygiene regime. Urgh. However, increasingly disturbed by upheavals in the US based political landscape, Rainbow came out with a rather startling thought this morning.

“I think Marjory Taylor Greene is probably a man,” she declared while sipping an organic ethically sourced coffee.

“That seems just a little unlikely,” I replied. “Although the pronounced jaw and sloping forehead do suggest something of a throwback look. But I really think someone might have noticed. Her husband, perhaps.”

“No, really,” she insisted.  “Think about it.  The intransigent polarized attitudes, the selective memory and the ego being out of proportion to her abilities or usefulness… Do I have to go on?”

Penis envy is a common issue with people who like to be photographed with their weapons out.

At this moment Sylvester pulled his head out from under my sink and surfaced from having tweezled my flange pipe and said, “That one does seem obsessed with whipping out her weapon at inappropriate moments.”

I glanced down at Sylvester and commented, “Yes, she not alone in that.”

“You mean that ridiculous Christmas card?” said Rainbow.

“Oh yes,” I agreed. “I am told that people who like to be photographed with their guns have penis envy. I think the psychotherapist who came up with that idea was generally referring to men, but I think you may be onto something.”

I thought about it for a moment then asked Sylvester, “Would you sleep with them?”

“God no!” replied Sylvester. “I have some self respect.”

“I think that clinches it,” said Rainbow, looking into the deep distance, toward my azaleas lost in thought. “They must be a man. Besides, anyone who feels safe around Matt Gaetz must be male – and he was there in that courtroom wearing some sort of truss on Friday.”

I suppose that if MTG really is living life across the gender bar in fairness I should support their lifestyle choice. I don’t have to agree with political insanity, but I should go on record saying I do support their gender journey.

As you know, I don’t generally involve myself in politics, it being such a sordid affair.  I should however point out that in the last few weeks there have been numerous attacks on both trans rights and women’s freedoms around abortion.  Having lived in numerous countries around the globe I find this not only disturbing, but something out of step with the rest of the global community. It really seems that GOP policy on gender issues seems to have lowered the bar so conclusively that even countries like Malawi and Uganda are surpassing some US states in their progressive approaches to these very same rights. It doesn’t seem very forward thinking to a crossdressing gender fluid advertising account executive like myself. But what do I know?

I hope you’re having a delightful week. Most important of all is to keep a smile on your face and keep on keeping on. Enjoy the music offering below.  It came to me one night when I was being hit on by a rather sweet flight steward from South West Airlines. Sweet, but clueless. The way I like them!

😊

Fiona

Bigger breasts – generally a good thing.

Hi,
I always listened to my mother’s advice. She would often say things like, ‘If you have something to say about someone, make it something positive.”I’ve always thought this is very good advice. It’s kept me out of trouble, mostly, however this week I had a situation in which this seemed to backfire.As you likely know, Amanda (my wife’s appalling friend) has a habit of dropping in unannounced at the most inopportune of moments. She was with us just last weekend on one such unplanned visit. I have asked Sylvester, who is something of an inventor in his spare time (see Sylvester’s Boner), to come up with some kind of early warning device to avoid such situations.

Julie and I were helping Ali in the garden just yesterday afternoon, where he was pruning my bush. We’d polished off a bottle of Riesling, when I heard a timid squeaky voice coming from the direction of my neighbour’s garden. Ali and I walked over to look over the hedge, and there was Marjorie, Max’s mother. You’ll remember that Max is my neighbors 20 year old son. A strange boy, but very helpful.

“Oh, Fiona,” she said. “I need your advice.”

Ali, ever helpful, cast an eye over her flower beds and then chimed in, “Really madam, it’s alright. I can see your vulvodynia is blooming early this year. It just needs a little more water.” Ali’s English lessons are rather unconventional, however he does wonders in the garden.

“That’ll be all, Ali. I can take this from here.” I said, dismissing him to go back to tending to my bush.
Marjorie was gawping at me in a puzzled way trying to fathom what we were talking about. Ali’s Syrian accent is still quite strong.

“That strange woman you had in the garden this weekend. She wants Max to work on some magazine.”

“Oh, Amanda. Yes, she’s the editor at Pig and Pig Farmer Weekly. It’s the Washington Post of the agricultural sector. A bastion of the fourth estate,” and then I added doubtfully, “and one of the only media organisations to endorse Mr. Trump.”

“Oh,” she said, as though suddenly understanding. “I just wondered, what’s she really like? I mean, I don’t want my darling Max working for just anyone.”

I stifled the urge to say that that was exactly who Max should work for – anyone who would give him a job. ‘Just anyone’ seemed a perfect description, given his work ethic. He is a lovely boy, and very capable when it comes to tech tasks, but other than that his talents are best described as aesthetic.
“Hmmm, what’s she really like…” I mused. That was a tough one. I remembered my mother’s advice, and it could have been the Riesling talking, but responded “She has fine breasts. Very fulsome.”
“What,” said Marjorie, a little taken aback.

“A full bosom,” I reiterated. I really couldn’t think of anything else positive to say.

“That’s all you can tell me about her,” she stammered.

“Well,” I blundered on, “she sees things in black and white. Somewhat judgemental, some might say.” My mind slipped back to the incident with the adult toy and Hannibal, my dachshund. “It’s not surprising, I suppose,” I went on. “It’s all connected. Black and white, Friesians cattle, dairy farming and breasts…”

Marjorie stormed off, muttering and shaking her head. I have the feeling she’s never really approved of my lifestyle. I really can’t think why.

And in that very vein, I have a lovely self hypnosis file for my many friends who have recently been asking about breast enlargement. This is a lot of fun.

Self hypnosis is one tool for this, but there are a few other methods you can use. One of the most effective, though discrete is the use of soy milk.  If you choose a flavored one, like Vanilla So Good, and just be sure to drink a good size glass a day, you’ll find it gradually has a very beneficial impact. Soy contains isoflavones, a plant oestrogen that is similar to the estrogen that you humans produce. It is these isoflavones that give soy its cancer-prevention properties. Researchers have expressed concern that the estrogens in soy protein may affect the hormone levels in men – which suits us fine. Drinking more than usual quantities could result in breast growth in men. High consumption of soy protein, equivalent to over three litres of soy milk a day, could lead to hormonal shifts.

I’m not a fan of using HRT pharmacy. I find it’s not a good idea to put anything into your body that can’t at least phone you the following day and tell you how much they enjoyed it.

You can find the hypnosis file here: https://fionadobson.com/hypnosis/breast-enlargement-for-crossdressers-self-hypnosis/

There’s some food for thought. If you join the Premium Program we introduce you to a few practices that can stimulate these shifts. If you haven’t signed up yet, now is a great time to do so.

Have a wonderful weekend.
😊
FD

 

Heels – The world looks better from 3 inches higher.

Put your best foot forward and enjoy the heels you deserve!

“I think another inch or two might be nice,” I said to Julie, stepping my legs a little wider apart.

“Does it feel good,” she asked, running her crimson red nails up my fishnet clad leg and smothing the line of the nylons.

“Oh, yes,” I replied. I bent further forward and adjusted the strap on the heels I was trying on.

A good pair of heels brings out the shape of your legs, accentuates your bum and introduces a new and challenging posture, that will help you find that feminine look you crave.

Many people wish to look feminine, more than feel feminine. Heels are a challenge for many men who chose to crossdress, however they can be rewarding and when mastered give you a sense of self assurance that brings your crossdressing to a new level.

Enjoy some of the lovely shoes below, and then take your time first wearing, and then practicing your posture and walk in stunning heels.

 

No one should be without a body stocking!

If you are getting my weekly emails – which you get when you sign up for the Free Program – you’ll already know the importance of having a great body stocking in your wardrobe.  I was reminded, when looking at Sylvester’s legs the other day, that some of us bare a closer resemblance to the lower primates than others. Having a great body stocking is a good way to disguise body hair.

Here’s a selection of options that are fun, easy to wear and will make you feel fabulous.

_________________________________________________________________

It’s true — As a crossdresser I miss the lockdown.

As life slowly returns to normal and we remove the nails that we used to nail our front doors closed it’s time to re-emerge into the sunshine of spring in North America. How wonderful to get out more, and smell the sweet aroma of horribly expensive gasoline as people start to drive back to work and travel once more.

As crossdressers, trannies and other seafarers on this gender fluid sea, it is up to us, of course, to add to the aesthetic beauty of spring and the reawakening of the human race. Choosing a nice spring outfit, colorful and light, we can wear the clothes that bring back the joyful nature of this most fecund of seasons. You can use my Pinterest board on Spring Style to help you — https://www.pinterest.ca/fionadobson22/spring-crossdressing-style/ . And with good taste and subtlety and a little care we can do so without looking like complete tossers.

So, as we go forward grasping the pulsating stalk of this spring flower, we can step proudly into this new time. It’s not the return to ‘normal’, whatever that was, but it’s something different. Something we can appreciate more than once we did.

One thing that I am forced to consider, having watched any number of post apocalypse movies having grown up in the shadow of impending nuclear war, is that this idea of a return to ‘normal’ — so often reflected in such movies as people climb out of the rubble to rebuild the new world in the image of the old one — is that the ‘normal’ we left back in March of 2020 was not so normal after all. At that time we’d just seen an insurrection at the Capitol. We had white nationalists openly parading in the streets and a delusional former president having a tantrum and expecting Americans to change his nappy.

As we emerge we can see the spectre of war in Europe returning, and all that goes along with that. In other words, there is no ‘normal’. There never was. We live in an evolving world. And yet for us, who for many years have suppressed such a large part of our personality, this should come as no surprise. After all, we’ve always had to ‘carry on’ in spite of what we see around us. We’ve watched trans freedoms eroded, we’ve experienced our own internal wars, the struggle to live with the peculiarities of gender identity and psychology, and for many of us the continual denial of who we really are.

For many people the lockdown was a time they could cut out some of the chaff of life, and wear whatever they liked while working from home, and by the way you can’t tell what the others in the Zoom meeting are wearing out of frame.

With a smaller social ‘bubble’ than usual some of us were forced to weed out redundant contacts and connections. The contacts that are only there because they always were, doing the activities we do because it’s what we’ve always done.

I remember conversations in my previous marriage that went something like this:

Former Wife: “Let’s go to Jeff’s this Easter.”

Fiona: “But I don’t want to go to Jeff’s this Easter.”

Former Wife: “We always go to Jeff’s at Easter.”

I don’t even like Jeff. No one likes Jeff. And I especially don’t like the other guests, mostly because I think they like Jeff. So where is the logic in going to Jeff’s? Having a smaller but better group of people I consider my close friends is one part of the lockdown that I thoroughly enjoyed. After all, I need time to service my members — yes, seriously! The lock down allowed me to trim out parts of my life that were no longer important to me.

In this period as lockdowns and mandates become a thing of the past, we can start to adapt to this new world. In doing so it’s a perfect opportunity to trim out the things we don’t want to re-ignite. Perhaps if we loose a few of the negative aspects of the life we left behind. Personally I have done a few things you may wish to emulate.

1. I’ve gone through my contacts and lost at least 30% of people who I just don’t need swallowing up my time. Like most things that are worthwhile, friendships need to be worked at and maintained. If I am the only one doing the work then they can slip away.

2. I’ve stopped watching the news more than 2 times a day. Seeing Putin bouncing Trump on his knee so vigorously he ejaculates isn’t the way to get my day off to a good start. I don’t need to see the latest horror story about how awful life is — I know it’s not a picnic. Yet somehow we step forward in sheer stockings and panties and get on with it, don’t we? I just don’t need that stuff polluting my head 24/7.

3. I’ve maintained the healthy physical activities I enjoyed during the lockdown. I’m getting more out of these today, post lockdown, than I ever did before COVID. They give me joy and provide structure to my life that I enjoy.

4. I’ve rearranged my working style around this slightly smaller life and I find it works well for me. Working from home and being disciplined about limiting my work hours to allow a better work life balance has been life changing.

So, there’s a few ideas for you. It’s going to be different for all of us, but tossing out the bad, and maintaining the good is probably not a bad thing for us all.

😊

Fiona


Join my Premium Program for just $9.99 a month.

What’s that on your fingers?

I am no detective, but when you know Auntie Kittie is making jam, and the top of the cooking sherry is sticky… well, it doesn’t take much to know she’s getting into my stash of wine.

And speaking of your favorite auntie, she has some nephews from New Zealand staying, and she’s teaching them all about making jam. She told me this morning that she’s trying to get her hands on some plums, and possibly a cherry or two. She tells me she’s got plenty of fruit, though she did say she’d finished off her kiwis.

As you probably know I record some great hypnosis tracks, and having such a nice recording set up I allow some of my friends to use it for their own recordings. When I poked my head round the door just now I found Mistress Meg’s little helper, Stacey making a new recording for our Seahorse members.

I was quite shocked by the things she was saying. I had to listen, just for a moment. Stacey is so innocent looking. I was most surprised.

“You’re going to love dressing up for me tonight, aren’t you?” she said into the microphone.

“I know you’ve wanted to for a long time, but this time it’s something you’re desperate to do. And you know, I’ve known about it for a long time, I just enjoy you being awkward about it. But I also know that the longer I make you wait, the more desperate you’re going to be to do just exactly what I want.

And what I want is very important for you, isn’t it?

You want to serve me. You want to do whatever I tell you. Don’t you?”

I thought I’d better leave her to it after that. Well, you lucky Seahorses will be hearing from Stacey before long, I expect.

🙂

Fiona

PS – I thought I’d add this great track from Def Leopard especially for all my fellow diabetics.

Clothes Maketh The Man – Part 54 is out.

I am sending this as I hurry off to my optician for some replacement glasses. Just this morning I noticed Sebastian, my personal trainer, has some new frames and how good they looked on him.

“Sebastian,” I said while working on some core exercises, “I must say those new glasses do look good on you.”

“Oh thank you, Fiona,” he replied standing over me.

“Yes,” I said breathlessly, “I do like it when a man splashes out on a nice pair.”

But that’s not the main reason I’m writing. For those of you following Andrea’s adventures in Clothes Maketh The Man, you’ll be thrilled to know that Part 54 is now out. Andrea finds herself slipping deeper into trouble all the time. And now she’s mucking out a stable with a pair of trannies and a pitchfork. Enjoy part 54 of Clothes Maketh The Man HERE.

You can find all parts of Clothes Maketh The Man HERE.

Have a lovely week,

🙂

Fiona


Enjoy Clothes Maketh The Man

Clothes Maketh The Man is the iconic story of Andy’s progression from one disaster to the next as he learns he’s not the man he thought himself to be. Enjoy it today.

I could hear voices in my living room.  There was a little light laughter and I could tell that Devina and her guest were making themselves comfortable.

I found myself flushed and felt my heart racing.  I ran the tap and put my wrists under it, the cool water calming me.  As I looked in the mirror I could barely recognise the face that looked back. Devina had done a masterful job on my makeup.

Read more Clothes Maketh The Man.

Check out my programs here. I have something for everyone.