What an eventful week. It all started with Sylvester, but then doesnât it always. He had a nasty fall from the toilet after a particularly strong curry. I have been trying to be as supportive as possible, visiting and bringing over things he needs while he rests up.
I should point out that over the years Sylvester has become much more than simply my mechanic. He is a dear friend and we often used to travel together. A couple of years ago we visited England and explored my childhood home on the Isle of Wight. Apart from doing a few touristy things, we did visit one of my neighbours who has been a friend of my since childhood. He lives on a neighboring farm and apart from the usual stock keeps a few chickens and rare avian breeds. I always look forward to seeing his woodcock, pullet and swallow.
And of course thereâs always the fun of buying a few souvenirs to bring back to friends at home. Last time I remember we brought back sticks of rock for friends. I should explain that these are long shafts of hard candy about a foot long, often with the name of the place it comes from set into it. I donât really think thereâs a North American equivalent of this, much to the disappointment of dentists throughout the new world.
When I dropped off a few things to make Sylvester more comfortable while he rests up this week he asked me if Iâd like to suck on his twelve incher, and then handed me a stick of rock left over from our trip. You can probably imagine how surprised I was. So many of my trips provide me with memories that will never leave me. At least, not without a long course of therapy.
I expect it will be a little while before we once again share the joys of being squeezed into economy seating on an airline next to a fat guy that brought his own salami. I may even get to the stage where I miss the body searches that Jeffrey at the airport always gives me when I arrive back home. Jeffrey is the sweet young man that looks after customs at our the airport. The last couple of times heâs insisted on doing the search even though I was just picking up a friend returning from a local flight and had just parked my car. He really is quite familiar. He could save us all a lot of time and just ask me out on a date, but I guess heâs just shy.
But thatâs not the main reason I am writing. I have been so thrilled with the following Iâm building on Patreon, I thought Iâd give you a quick heads up. I will be putting the base program price up soon, so if youâre not already in there and  want to get in to the $1 a month level itâs probably a good idea to get in there soon. As I said to Jeffrey last time I came through arrivals, as he gave me that knowing smile and pulled his glove on, âyouâd better get in there quickly before I put it up.â
By the way I Max has posted my latest story on the Fiona Dobson Patreon, which you can access free here. It’s a cautionary tale for those members crossdressing in their senior years, and it’s really worth a listen.
We had a little socially distanced gathering the other day which I feel I should tell you about. Amanda, as you likely know, is my wifeâs friend and the editor of Pig And Pig Farmer Weekly, the seventh most popular pig related publication in the Midwest. As such I have found inviting her to some brainstorming sessions has helped at times. On this occasion Bernard, my photographer, and Sebastian were also present.
Poor Sebastian, heâs very worried about his sister, who you will remember made a small error and applied for the job involving a little âlight house keepingâ, and is now positioned in the far north manning a navigation outpost alone in the northern arctic. Bernard is also feeling quite disrupted. He loves to go hunting and fishing. The cold months unfortunately reduce his leisure activities substantially. So, you can see the need for a something to destress us all seemed quite pressing.
âI think we should address the elephant in the room,â said Bernard. Naturally I glanced at Amanda. He continued, âwe need some direction. Something to help us see past how difficult things are at the moment. We need some goals.â
âYou are so right, Bernard,â I agreed. âItâs like my friend Justin said just the other day. Spring is coming! We should remember that!â
Itâs not unusual for me to have a call from the Prime Ministerâs office late in the evening, with Mr. Trudeau looking for a little advice. He often asks me for a helping hand, and I am always happy to give him one.
The other night Bernard was being uncharacteristically quiet at the table in the restaurant, with my friends and I enjoying the New Year celebrations. Sylvester and Ali were laughing. I remember, particularly, as I was explaining that while in Australia last year, between photoshoots, I had been diving and had been describing the various merits of the sea cucumber. Bernard had been on the trip, though since his transplant has not been doing much diving.
We were enjoying a wonderful meal at a restaurant in the heart of Montreal which served favorite dishes from around the world. Sebastian had ordered the German Sausage, and shared some of it with Bernard. The succulent meat was exquisitely prepared, and Bernard tucked into it with gusto.
That was when I noticed Bernard changing color. âAre you alright?â I asked. When there came no reply I felt a wave of panic sweep over me. Itâs only a few short weeks since Bernardâs operation.
If youâre a regular reading of my material youâll know that Amanda is not my favorite person on the planet. It was only as a favor to my wife that I invited her to join us for dinner. My wife is on one of her trips. This is a charitable one, I believe. If I remember rightly sheâs feeding the hungry in Africa, or something. Maybe itâs the Africans in Hungary. Itâs so hard to keep track of her. She has such a big heart. Before leaving on her mission of mercy she had made me promise to take Amanda out with us for dinner on New Years eve.
I remember very vividly, as that night I had chosen to wear a mid blue evening dress, with a bodice that laced up behind, and matching blue heels. The blue was a very particular shade, and as I watched Bernard he gradually changed color to a matching hue.
âWhat on earth is the matter with Bernard,â I said and looked at Sylvester.
âSearch me,â answered Sylvester.
Suddenly Amanda leapt to her enormous feet, and shouted âHeimlich manoeuvre!â For a woman of disturbing proportions she certainly can move swiftly. It reminded me of one of those National Geographic TV shows, about when hippos attack.
âDonât worry,â she said to a terrified looking Bernard, who by now was clearly choking. âIâm a trained professional.â
I took a long sip of my wine, and said to Sylvester, âThis should be interesting.â
Amanda was behind Bernard, wrapping her arms around him and began squeezing. Bernard shifted to a deeper shade of blue.
âThatâs it Amanda, you need to reach around him,â said Sylvester.
âAnd then jerk him. Youâve got the idea,â I added helpfully. Amanda seemed to be thrusting powerfully with her hips, and Bernard looked increasingly alarmed.
A moment later his head jerked back and he coughed and his throat seemed to clear. I was most impressed by the whole thing. Amanda had indeed saved the day, and Bernard had made a new friend.
What a way to go into the New Year. So, if you feel like sharing, let me know what New Years Resolutions you plan to break this year.
I sincerely hope you are enjoying the news I share with you. You can participate and comment even more at http://FionaDobson.com
Well, what can I say. Itâs not been an easy week. As many of us go into an election week, I know all of us are going to be feeling a certain degree of stress. Be assured I am here for you.
I always find it helpful to listen to the Fiona Dobson playlist on Youtube to dispel stress. It really does help put a smile on my face, even when I do read about something mind bogglingly moronic that the buffoon in the White House is up to. I believe it was Mayo Angelou, that great philosopher that said, âMask up, asshole.â That, however, is not the main reason Iâm writing to you.
Several of my members have written to me this week concerned about my good friend Rainbow, the yoga teacher, who has recently found herself out of work due to the problems we face associated with Covid. I selected one email at random, from Mildred, of Colorado Springs, that I felt I might share with you. Mildred suggested that perhaps Rainbow could make use of her talents as a vegetarian, helping others improve their diet. How very thoughtful, Mildred. I will pass the suggestion on to Rainbow. Vegetarian meals can indeed be an exquisite blend of flavors and are sure to excite the taste buds and satisfy the appetite, unless youâve ever actually tasted meat.
Fortunately Sebastian, Sylvester, Ali and the rest of the crew are all managing ok. Amanda, my wifeâs good friend, has moved in with my next door neighbor Marjory, with whom she is conducting a sordid lesbian relationship. She is working from home there, and I mentioned to Sylvester (who has designs on Amanda for some inexplicable reason), that I often saw her in the conservatory beavering away. He replied âAmanda is indeed elbow deep in,â and at this point he paused meaningfully, ââŠwork.â
What times these are. Nonetheless, I felt I would write and tell you of a rather unusual incident that took place the other night. As you may be aware Canada is large. In fact itâs huge. Earlier this week I was driving across one of our seemingly endless prairies, late at night when I saw mysterious lights in the sky, approaching at high speed. At first I thought it might be our Prime Minister, my good friend Justin Trudeau in his private plane. He has the disturbing habit of flying very low over the prairies, smiling and waving at us as he goes by. You may have heard of him, heâs the head of state in the North America that can read.
However, it was not he. I should have remembered heâs usually tucked up in bed by 9 pm with a cup of hot milk. No, this was altogether too fast to be something of this world.
Now, I think I know what youâre thinking. âOh, not again!â Yes, thatâs right, youâll remember I had an encounter with alien life forms a little over two years ago. And indeed once again this vessel drew level with my speeding Buick, and I felt the sensation of being lifted off the ground, as if by a giant alien hand.
Faster than you can say âanal probeâ I found myself in the hold of the enormous vessel. Two alien figures dressed in a silver grey fabric, some type of satin I imagine, walked out of what seemed to be a wall of light toward my car. I was a little disconcerted, as you might imagine. After all itâs not everyday that you are accosted by higher life forms. One of them tapped on the window, and as I looked at them I realised these were the very same two aliens I had met once before.
I put my mask on, and then lowered the window.
The closer of the two aliens leaned toward me and then said, âExcuse me madam, are you the owner of this vehicle?â
âYou know I am. Remember, weâve met before.â
âJust my little joke,â he said with a smile. His sense of humor had not improved in the two years since last we met.
The closer of the two aliens turned to the other and said, âI told you, weâve seen this one before.â
They seemed to pause for a moment, consulted what looked like an Ipad, and then one shook his head in disappointment, before saying, âWell, letâs get on with it, otherwise weâll never make the quota.â
Ever helpful I said, âAre you running out of people?â
The nearest alien nodded, and said. âItâs this Covid business. No oneâs going out much these days.â
âWell, itâs not like you ask permission,â I said.
âNo, but when we pick up someone off Davie Street in Vancouver, and theyâve had six pints of Alexander Keiths everyone just thinks they had a good night at The Junction. No one believes theyâve really been abducted. You know, plausible deniability and all that. But these days,â he shook his bald head, ânot so many people are going out for the night. Thatâs why we have to hang out in the middle of nowhere.â At this point he turned to his friend and said, âIâm not even sure where we are!â
I sighed and said, âCovid.â
In agreement he nodded and sighed, âCovid.â
The senior alien, clearly impatient, then chimed in, âwould you mind getting out of the car please?â
I stepped out of the car, and the two of them led me into a small examination room. Instead of the surgical table and lights that one expects in these circumstances, I was placed in a reclining chair and the first alien asked if I would be kind enough to read the letters on a lightbox directly in front of me.
âA, F, G, H,â I said and then asked, âis this it? I mean, youâre giving me an eye exam?â
âPlease just read the letters,â said the one that appeared to be in charge.
âM, S, X, no, really is this it?â
The second alien cut in at this point and said, âThey donât let us use the probe any more. They said itâs not politically correct. Something about it not being âwokeâ, whatever that is.â
âWell,â I replied, âitâs not like you ask for consent, is it?â
âWe didnât get many complaints in this sector. At least not on Davie Street.â
âNo,â I said. âYou wouldnât. You might get a few people disappointed that you didnât at least leave your number after youâd finished.â
At this point the first alien smiled at me and said confidentially, âwho said he didnât,â and then winked.
Anyway, I felt I should share these events with you. Now, if youâre in the US be sure to get out and vote as soon as you can. If you donât live in the US, let’s wish our friendsâ the best for their election.
My gardener, Ali is a Syrian refugee. Heâs a lovely man, and he and his family are making a go of things in Canada, and doing exceptionally well. His girls are doing so well at school. When I recently asked him what he thought ofâProud Boysâhe said that while his home country was not very tolerant of their lifestyle, he personally felt that peopleâs lifestyle choices are their own affair.
Aliâs English is sometimes not quite what it might be. Heâs been here a few years now, but he still sometimes struggles a little. He has become firm friends with Sylvester, my mechanic and confidante, and I commented on it recently saying how pleased I was that they get along so well.
He replied, âAh, yes. Sylvester. Heâs a very good person. We get along like a horse on fire.â
Which reminds me, I must chat with his English teacher. I believe Mistress Meg is acquainted with him â Professor Longstaff. If you follow my Patreon as a Seahorse youâll have read about him.
âBut Ali,â I said. âSurely you donât agree with Mr. Trump, embracing the Proud Boys.â
He looked at me with some doubt in his careworn face.
âAs I said, Mr. Trumps lifestyle choice is his own affair,â he replied. âNot that thereâs anything wrong with that.â
I sometimes struggle to understand if Ali is teasing me.
âBut what about all this âStand back and stand byâ business?â I said pressing on in what I was beginning to feel was a pointless exercise.
ââStand back and stand byâ? I thought they said âstand back and bend overâ!â said Ali.
I gave up and left him to continue raking up the fallen leaves. Donât you just love the fall? You can find some fun fall clothing ideas on my Pinterest HERE.
Donât forget to sign up for my Patreon and help me keep shoving it up the Proud Boys⊠I think you know what I mean.
What a strange time it’s been. Today in Vancouver we have the strangest light, as smoke from forest fires up and down the west coast fills the air. Visibility here is really quite terrible.
With Covid, and forest fires one can only think that a plague of frogs might be next. It does leave one wondering why more people don’t take climate change seriously. It’s going to get hotter and drier in the coming years, and if we don’t want this every summer we might as well get used to reducing carbon emissions.
Sylvester, my mechanic friend, swung by earlier, and told me how his week’s been going. Not much better than mine I think.
âIt took three of use, heaving and panting and sweating to get my erection up,â said Sylvester, my mechanic, sitting at my kitchen table and sipping tea from my finest bone china. Like many of my best friends he just appears in my kitchen sometimes. Like a big sweaty mechanic genie.
âIâm sure it did,â I said sympathetically. âNow, just tell me again, this âerectionâ, what is that again?â
I realise I may be out of step with some of my members when I say this, and this is really just my own opinion, but I do feel quite comfortable limiting some of my social interactions as we go through the whole Corona thing. I’ve taken the opportunity to trim out some of the less positive people in my life, and do more of the things I enjoy.
It’s a little bit like having the opportunity to fine tune one’s life a little. Reducing the negative people in my life, and engaging in the things I enjoy has become something of a goal. Sadly, Sylvester is having a more difficult time of it, being so outgoing and social.
Sylvester, for example, throws enjoyable parties, though sometimes they really do get quite out of hand. On one evening last year he had a rather unusual night during which one of his friends decided they were intent on cornering me and plying me with drink, in the hopes that they might do unspeakable, but delightful things to my body.
What a strange day itâs turning out to be. Our members are all out doing wonderful things. Julia in Holland, one of my favorite members in our Whatsapp Group, has been out and bought some beautiful summery things, and nearby I know Lenni is having a garage sale.
Julia has been doing so well. She, like many of my members in the Whatsapp Group, shares some of her experiences and activities with other members of the group. It makes it a very supportive community.
This afternoon a few friends will be stopping by as the isolation period begins to lift. Lockdown here in Canada has been well observed and the results mean we are now able to begin very gradually restarting 2020. I, like most of my friends, feel that having a glass of wine in the garden with one or two friends is much more comfortable than going out to a restaurant, for the time being at least. It also gives us the chance to have a bit of a barbecue in the garden. Sebastian is hoping to treat us to his sausage later on. I am wearing a denim skirt, tee shirt and a lovely floral mask, and keeping things very simple.
Sylvester and Sebastian arrived a little while ago astride his enormous chopper.
Taking off his helmet he said excitedly, âAmandaâs going to drop by later. She wants me to check out her cans.â
âIâm sorry?â I replied a little surprised.
âHer headphones,â he said. âShe says they crackle. She wants me to see if I can sort them out. It’s probably just a loose connection. They were very expensive apparently. Mind you that was in 1993. Still, I said Iâd check them out.â
âOh,â I said doubtfully. âI see.â
I have told Sylvester on more than one occasion that Amanda is in a relationship with my neighbour, Marjory the competitive lesbian eater. Or should that be âthe competitive eating lesbianâ. Well, as Iâve mentioned before Marjory is apparently quite a big noise in the world of competitive eating, although like so many sporting disciplines they are experiencing something of a famine this season.
âYou should be a little careful,â I said to Sylvester. âMarjory and Amanda are together, as inexplicable as it may be. Iâm not sure that you should be hunting in that particular briar patch. You might get pricked.â
âI donât mean to be pedantic,â said Sebastian cutting in. âBut, Iâm not sure you can hunt in a brier patch.â
In the interests of contextual accuracy I rephrased my doubts to Sylvester, saying âIâm really not sure you want that bird in your hand. Better to leave it in the bush.â
Sebastian mumbled something about Sylvester having big hands and added that there are plenty more fish in the bush. I decided I should let it slip past. Instead I shot them both a look of disapproval.
âOK,â I said. âLetâs try this again. I donât think, Sylvester, that you should have your snout in that particular trough.â
I think I may have to go in a moment. Sebastian has just got a call on his cell and let everyone know that Rainbow will be dropping by shortly and wants to show us her jugs.
âSheâs only just got them out of the kiln,â he said helpfully. âShe wantâs to show us her pottery. Itâs come on so well recently.â
Have a delightful weekend and if youâre one of my American members have the very best of Independence Days. To all my members, keep it real and stay distanced and masked if you can.
Like everything else, we can address the question of masks with style, kindness and our own values.
While sitting in my garden, enjoying watching Ali bent over working on some of the flowerbeds, I was surprised to see Sylvester (my mechanic) arrive and use my rear entrance (phrasing) sitting astride his enormous chopper.
Heâs spent much of his time polishing up his chopper recently, but then havenât we all? This lockdown can be a little tedious, can’t it? Sylvester does enjoy riding his Harley and keeping it pristine.
Maintaining social distancing he joined me in the garden and we sat and talked. He looked quite agitated. It takes a lot to phase Sylvester. Naturally, in my role as both friend and counselor I felt I should help.
âItâs Amanda. What am
I supposed to do about her?â
âEuthanasia?â I asked helpfully, adjusting the way my sun dress hung from my shoulders.
âPlease,â he insisted, âtry to be helpful!â
âWhat seems to be the problem, Sylvester?â I asked.
âWell, I asked her if sheâd like to come for a ride on my chopper,â continued Sylvester.
âBut Sylvester, Amanda is with Marjory now,â I said.
âI know. But sometimes I like to take people on my bike. Itâs
fun.â
âWell,â I said, âI suppose itâs fairly harmless. Even though
I understand youâve âchecked her fluidsâ on more than one occasion.â
Iâve found a good way to maintain social distance and still be
able to communicate with Sylvester and the various welcome, and less welcome,
visitors to my house. I sit at the
kitchen window and chat through the window, while they sit outside with their
own coffee mug.
I am not paranoid, but weâre learning to live with social
distancing in a responsible way here in Canada. We respect the rules around
isolation, because weâd like to get things back on track at the soonest
reasonable opportunity. I know peopleâs views on this vary. This video
accurately shows how easy it is to pass on a virus, and we take it very
seriously here.
âIâd like to get out to a pub,â said Sylvester. “A glass of Alexander Keith’s IPA, with beads of condensation on a warm spring evening would go down pretty well.”
I looked at Sylvester skeptically, my arms folded and leaned back against the stove in my kitchen.
âReally, a quarantine reserve?â I said.
âYes,â he said firmly. âJust enough food and supplies so
that you donât need to go out, should you feel sick. I mean, spreading this
thing around the place hardly seems to be living up to your civic responsibility.â
âIs it really necessary,â I asked. âI was planning to spend
tomorrow morning at the nail spa.â
âProbably not.
Hopefully not. But perhaps. And if it is, then youâll be a lot more
comfortable with it than without it. Itâs not urgent, but you may want to have
a few things to hand.â
âI can imagine youâd have 200 cans of baked beans in yours.â
âThatâs not fair,â protested Sylvester.
âYour flatulence isnât fair,â I responded. âBesides, I think
Iâd rather die of flu than be gassed to death.â
âBesides, it only has to last a couple of weeks. By then youâll
be better. Or dead.â
âSo you have 14 cans of beans, then?â
âAnd other products.â
âWell, if you get sick you be sure to come over here. I make
excellent chicken soup. And bloody maryâs. And I have a good reserve to see us
through, if Auntie Kittie hasnât drunk it all. But you may have a point. If one
does get sick, going out for supplies might be a little bit of a drag. I shall
put a list together of things to get in.â
I took a pad of paper and started noting essentials. My list
started:
Quarantine List for CORVID19 survival.
Foundation (I donât like to look too pale).
Eyeliner (If you have to take a selfie and put it on social media when you are sick, itâs nicer if your eyes really pop).
Blush (itâs always good to have a little color in your cheeks).
Influenza safe lingerie (Be sure to be buried in this if things donât go so well â crossdressed to eternity).
Pink N19 face mask (which probably doesnât work but goes well with that nice polo neck I got on Amazon last week).
Sylvester interrupted me with a hurt look on his face, and
said âI donât think youâre taking this very seriously.â
âQuite the contrary. I have already set aside a very healthy
reserve. Iâve also stocked up on hand sanitizer, cancelled a flight I donât
really have to take, and I am expecting to work a lot more from home in the future.
So, I think I am very well prepared.â
At that point Sebastian and his sister, Rainbow arrived for
our evening âwine and yogaâ class.
As I pulled on my leggings in my bedroom I asked Rainbow,
who was also changing, what she thought about it all, and immediately regretted
it.
âWell, I donât think canned food is a good idea. Everyone knows canned food is not as good as
fresh, and probably has evil spirits in it. Iâve always found pineapple helps
me if I have flu. That and some kombucha. I do have some crystals though.â
While a lemon might be perfect if this particular illness
were more closely related to scurvy, I thought I might hold off on Rainbowâs
advice. Scurvy is not something we see a lot of in Canada.
âSo, you donât go with Sylvesterâs baked beans only remedy?â
âIf we donât get gassed to death heâll blow us up when
Sebastian sparks up a joint. Iâm not sure which is the worse way to die!â she
replied thoughtfully.
Thereâs a lot of spurious information floating around. Itâs
smart to be prepared, but not to panic. Probably the most valuable tool at
present is a bar of soap for thorough hand washing. But if you do end up sick,
be sure to have just the right night wear to hand if you end up quarantined for
weeks. And with that, Iâm off to buy some new nighties.
Got some suggestions for your Quarantine List for CORVID19 survival kit? Be sure to add them to the comments below.
Some of you will remember that my mechanic, Sylvester, is a bit of an inventor. His last invention, the Boner, did ok and was technologically sound, but (ironically) never achieved the market penetration heâd hoped.
This morning I was startled to awake to a strange haunting sound coming from the direction of Sylvesterâs workshop. At first I thought that the city was testing itâs Early Warning System, originally used to forewarn of a nuclear attack, but now consigned to warn of any of Donald Trumps family infiltrating Canada. I was however mistaken. The sound would come and go, like a ghostly melody drifting across a post apocalyptic landscape, or Detroit. Several residents of Huckleberry Close were congregating outside their houses looking worried, until the sounds faded away.
“Shove that shaft in my trunk,” I said to Sylvester, who’d asked me to give him a ride home after work.
He’s a wonderful mechanic, always with a tool in his hand. But I digress. I felt I would write and tell you about the wonderful things we’ve got planned for Mexico.
So many of my members struggle to find a way to dress discretely and safely. I am thrilled to be offering the escape to Mexico we have planned for January.
I hear so many stories of members unable to dress and relax.
Many of my members are not comfortable going out of the house dressed. Others
fear they may not pass as well as theyâd like.
Now, imagine a situation where you could dress. You could ask someone
for some help and advice. You could even learn about make up, and enjoy a night
out without the worry of someone bumping into you. That sounds like a pretty
good day.
Well, our team at the Fiona Dobson Crossdressing Conference can help you do exactly that â but for four days and in the spectacular Miramar Hotel in Puerto Vallarta. Join us on this escape and take that giant step that every crossdresser wants. This trip will help you feel confident crossdressing. In unpressured and non judgemental surroundings enjoy the feeling of wearing what you wish, and doing what you want.
Youâll be with a small group of people, likely just like you, in a private setting. If youâve ever had to hide your dressing, this retreat will be relaxing and rejuvenating. Get more information HERE.
By the way, if you’ve never read it, you may enjoy my ongoing series Clothes Maketh The Man. It’s in it’s 37th episode at present.
You know keeping your body in shape is never a bad idea. However most gym exercises are very yang in nature – elevating the core energy of the body. There’s a great deal to be gained by releasing the tension in the body through a more yin form of exercise. That’s why yin yoga, or a hatha yoga class is so very important.
Some people identify this as a more feminine form of energy. I don’t really go quite that far, but I do feel that releasing tension through the use of yin yoga calm both the body and the mind. This allows me to be myself – a very feminine person.
Now, since Sebastian, my personal trainer, is off on some foolish jaunt to Molvania, teaching the less fortunate of the world about the benefits of being a vegan, I am left to take care of my own personal training needs. Honestly, how can someone be so selfish! Heâs doing a stint with Personal Trainers Without Borders. Seems very egocentric to me.
Instead I will have to do my own yoga routine, along with Julie, Katia and Marjory from next door. Sylvester offered to come round and help me realign my chakras, but Iâm not entirely sure that he interprets that the same way as I do. To be honest heâs far more useful greasing a half shaft and helping me with my fluids. In the car. He really can be very coarse at times.
However, I do think I should talk a little about exercise and how very important it is for all of us who crossdress. You may remember my photographer, Bernard, recently had some heart troubles resulting in a heart transplant. I am convinced this is because he doesnât exercise properly. He really should be more committed. Admittedly being tazered certainly didnât help. None the less he should be more aware of his health. Mind you, heâs not as bad as his brother, Fat Stewart. He hauls his bloated carcass around in a Ford F150 and is only likely to lose weight if he gets flensed.
So, after chatting with Marissa, one of my lovely members, I was put in mind of some of the benefits of exercising in the proper manner. Thatâs right, as a crossdresser itâs not as simple as merely going into a gym and lifting weights. If you want to look like Sylvester Stallone in a dress that might work for you, but if youâre looking for a more feminine shape itâs not going to do the things youâre looking for.
Most typical gym exercises are very yang in nature. The elevate the energy within the core of the body. As a crossdresser youâre looking for something a little different. Pumping iron bunches up the muscles and can even elevate anxiety. This is the reverse of where you want to be.
When you swim, particularly breast stroke, you are releasing energy. A slow methodical pace, using each stroke to release and push away tension, leave the body relaxed and supple. Crawl, or swimming in an over arm stroke, is more like a core exercise and isnât what youâre looking for. The yin-like exercise of breast stroke, preferably daily, is extremely healthy and calming. Itâs gentle. That feels more like where you need to go, doesnât it?
Doing yoga is one of the best ways to allow your feminine energy to emerge. Thereâs no rocket science here. Getting into either Hatha, or better still, Yin yoga is a great way to find that side of yourself. Now, a word of caution. Donât just wander into any yoga class, if youâre not sure what youâre looking for. An Ashtanga yoga class has more in common with a martial arts workout than what you likely think yoga is. You are looking for Hatha or Yin styles of yoga.
If youâre unable to get into a class I can thoroughly recommend Esther Ekhartâs website here: https://www.ekhartyoga.com/
I donât get paid to recommend Esther. Sheâs lovely.
Have a lovely week, and try to get into a yoga class. If you’re a Patron and Seahorse Level of higher, you can also enjoy this spectacular self hypnosis file to make the experience all the more exciting and feminine.
What a beautiful spring morning here in Huckleberry Close. Itâs a very special day for me, though you likely donât realise it. Three years ago today I started writing the story âClothes Maketh The Manâ, which led to the development of my program and this extraordinary journey.
In that time, as close as Max and I can calculate, something like 85,000 people have enjoyed the story. I find this on the one hand encouraging, and on the other a little disturbing!
In celebration I think Sylvester and Ali have something planned. They keep making spurious excuses to drop by mid morning. Sylvester tells me he wants to âcheck my fluidsâ, which I think has something to do with the car. Ali is insistent that he was to drop of a couple of hoes. At least thatâs what I think he said. He has been wanting new gardening equipment.
Anyway, itâs also International Womenâs Day, and in honor of that I am including a video one of my dearest members suggested. Iâm sure youâll enjoy it!
As you doubtless know, I consider it my responsibility to be
a guardian of my friends health. Itâs just the giving nature of the person that
I am. I canât really help it, but as some have commented I am something of a
carer, some have even used the word âhealerâ.
I suppose that when one is gifted in this particular
direction it is unfair on others to ignore this talent. Which brings me to my
concerns recently for Sylvester. I expect youâre aware that he drives the
Zamboni at the local ice rink on occasion. I should also point out that here in
Montreal Hockey is something of a religion. To be a driver of the Zamboni is to
be a high priest in the church.
However, in this particular church there appears to be
something of a schism. Maurice, another Zamboni driver, has been going wild on
the ice in a manner that irritates Sylvester and things have reach boiling
point. While the details of the matter are beyond me, it appears Maurice has
been âfreestylingâ on the ice.
First of all, in response to the many emails that have flooded in response to last weeks multiple choice competition. The correct answer was, of course, B â âHe didnât use enough lubrication.â Congratulations to Mildred of Colorado Springs for getting the right answer before anyone else on that one.
Itâs been an exciting week, not least because Sylvester burst into my kitchen this morning, a giant package in his hand.
âGoodness,â I gasped. âSylvester, what an enormous package you have!â
âItâs just arrived from Amazon,â he declared proudly. âItâs your Christmas present.â
I hardly knew where to put myself. Instead of opening it, I decided to place it beneath the Christmas tree in my living room along with several others for my friends, as weâll all be gathering on Christmas morning to open gifts together. I do so love this time of year.
Itâs a special time as we celebrate two things. The first is, of course, a season of good will to all. And the second is The Fiona Dobson Crossdressing Man Of The Year. Last year, you may remember Sarah Huckabee Sanders won, baffling medical science. So, if you have any suggestions please email them in, and the most popular ones will be put on the website for members to vote on.
If youâre enjoying the website and emails be sure to register, or commit to The Premium Program. Your $35 subscription not only gets you the great Premium Program, but also helps support our members who are unable to join the Premium Program, by allowing me to offer our free program at no cost. It feels good to support our community.
Till next time,
đ
Fiona
Don’t forget – you can always find The Fiona Dobson Playlist HERE. Put it on and enjoy a fun day!
