I looked at Sylvester skeptically, my arms folded and leaned back against the stove in my kitchen.
“Really, a quarantine reserve?” I said.
“Yes,” he said firmly. “Just enough food and supplies so that you don’t need to go out, should you feel sick. I mean, spreading this thing around the place hardly seems to be living up to your civic responsibility.”
“Is it really necessary,” I asked. “I was planning to spend tomorrow morning at the nail spa.”
“Probably not. Hopefully not. But perhaps. And if it is, then you’ll be a lot more comfortable with it than without it. It’s not urgent, but you may want to have a few things to hand.”
“I can imagine you’d have 200 cans of baked beans in yours.”
“That’s not fair,” protested Sylvester.
“Your flatulence isn’t fair,” I responded. “Besides, I think I’d rather die of flu than be gassed to death.”
“Besides, it only has to last a couple of weeks. By then you’ll be better. Or dead.”
“So you have 14 cans of beans, then?”
“And other products.”
“Well, if you get sick you be sure to come over here. I make excellent chicken soup. And bloody mary’s. And I have a good reserve to see us through, if Auntie Kittie hasn’t drunk it all. But you may have a point. If one does get sick, going out for supplies might be a little bit of a drag. I shall put a list together of things to get in.”
I took a pad of paper and started noting essentials. My list started:
Quarantine List for CORVID19 survival.
Foundation (I don’t like to look too pale).
Eyeliner (If you have to take a selfie and put it on social media when you are sick, it’s nicer if your eyes really pop).
Blush (it’s always good to have a little color in your cheeks).
Influenza safe lingerie (Be sure to be buried in this if things don’t go so well – crossdressed to eternity).
Pink N19 face mask (which probably doesn’t work but goes well with that nice polo neck I got on Amazon last week).
Sylvester interrupted me with a hurt look on his face, and said “I don’t think you’re taking this very seriously.”
“Quite the contrary. I have already set aside a very healthy reserve. I’ve also stocked up on hand sanitizer, cancelled a flight I don’t really have to take, and I am expecting to work a lot more from home in the future. So, I think I am very well prepared.”
At that point Sebastian and his sister, Rainbow arrived for our evening ‘wine and yoga’ class.
As I pulled on my leggings in my bedroom I asked Rainbow, who was also changing, what she thought about it all, and immediately regretted it.
“Well, I don’t think canned food is a good idea. Everyone knows canned food is not as good as fresh, and probably has evil spirits in it. I’ve always found pineapple helps me if I have flu. That and some kombucha. I do have some crystals though.”
While a lemon might be perfect if this particular illness were more closely related to scurvy, I thought I might hold off on Rainbow’s advice. Scurvy is not something we see a lot of in Canada.
“So, you don’t go with Sylvester’s baked beans only remedy?”
“If we don’t get gassed to death he’ll blow us up when Sebastian sparks up a joint. I’m not sure which is the worse way to die!” she replied thoughtfully.
On a more serious note, here’s a great website for suggestions of what to gather should you feel the need – https://www.businessinsider.com/expert-how-to-stockpile-healthy-food-14-day-coronavirus-quarantine-2020-2
There’s a lot of spurious information floating around. It’s smart to be prepared, but not to panic. Probably the most valuable tool at present is a bar of soap for thorough hand washing. But if you do end up sick, be sure to have just the right night wear to hand if you end up quarantined for weeks. And with that, I’m off to buy some new nighties.
Got some suggestions for your Quarantine List for CORVID19 survival kit? Be sure to add them to the comments below.