Does crossdressing make you a better man?

I read a very interesting email this morning and felt you’d appreciate it if I shared it with you.  It came from one of my members in Taipei. He said, “I feel terrible about crossdressing, and regularly throw out hundreds of dollars of expensive clothes and shoes. I’ve been through this so many times, I dread to think of the money I’ve wasted!”

He then went on to say that, “Even though I feel ashamed of dressing, I also have noticed how much more relaxed I am when I do dress – and how it helps me even in those moments I am not wearing women’s clothing. For example, if I have busy business meetings during the day, in the evenings I will often wear a long dress and adopt that more gurly side of myself, and I unwind. I find I feel happier, make better decisions, and feel more like I’m in control of things if I have these periods of self indulgence dressing.”

These are sentiments I know many of my members share and are very much part of the life of someone who crossdresses, particularly in a culture that is not accepting of liberal attitudes. What I found particularly interesting was the idea that there are times when, being allowed to express that feminine nature, one will subsequently perform at a higher level.

I suspect that we’ve all experienced that to some degree. The enjoyment gained from a little indulgence adds a certain spice to the feast of life which we enjoy every day.

There’s little doubt that when one does the things that makes one happy, we tend to feel more fulfilled and behave in a manner that shows confidence and self assurance. To repress some part of our personality can hardly be healthy. No end of times we hear of people ‘living a lie’ making poor decisions and failing in some aspects of their life.

It seems reasonable to suggest that by finding an appropriate manner to express one’s feminine self is not only healthy, but also results in one being more robust in all aspects of one’s life, dressed in a slip or dressed in a suit. You’ll see I used that word ‘appropriate’ quite deliberately there. That’s going to be different for nearly everyone. One of the objects of the program is to help you find exactly what is the ‘appropriate’ manner for you.

Perhaps you have some thoughts on the matter. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments section below.

11 Replies to “Does crossdressing make you a better man?”

  1. I am starting to believe that crossdressing DOES make a better man.
    What started as an enjoyment , nay even thrill, of secretly wearing pantyhose, has become much more than that over time. The progression towards a more complete crossdressing has been gradual, ( as the program recommends), exciting, and experiential. I have learned things about myself on this journey, and it has been predominately positive. Like the letter writer, I too experience periods of guilt, shame and fear, but I continue on.
    If I work from home, and my wife is not here, I will assume my femme Carinya and deal with my clients as her.
    I have discovered a love of shoes. Heels are wonderful to wear, and I’m gaining plenty of confidence wearing them.
    Now that it is dark earlier, and I have the opportunity, I have ventured outside in my femme character.
    But I still fear getting caught. I shall contend with that, continue my journey, enjoy the adventure.

    1. Wow I do the same as you, but recently I did get caught by my wife and she blew her stack. Called me many names and didn’t understand what I was doing dressing up as a women. I only dress when traveling and like to go shopping all decked out. I wish she understand my desire to be a women and still take care of her.

      Donna Sweet,

  2. Crossdressing makes me a more complete person. Everything that excites us about crossdressing releases a part of us which has been societally constrained. It is this desire for release of our Feminine spirit which for many of us has been locked away.

  3. The first time you see yourself totally made up as a woman changes your life forever from that point on. It does make you a better person in many ways…..much more well rounded, more open minded, more accepting of others, se4xier etc etc.
    i hope that eventually all of us will find the courage to show the world how beautiful we really are .

  4. Crossdressing is making me an honest man. I feel my urges to imitate female behaviors is simple. I am imitating woman to attract men for sex. Its erotic and sexy. Maybe I will find a partner one day but in the interim I pimp prean and pamper my soft sexy smoothie fem body and make love to myself. Love not fuck. Men phuck, women want to be fucked but only a sissy knows how to make love

  5. Dear Fiona,
    I’ve been dressing on and off for many years hut as time goes on I’m becoming bolder and it’s becoming more and more important to me. As you know I’m a member of both your program and LBB and love hearing from you and Julie.

    It’s so lovely to wake in the morning and find that one of you has dropped something into my inbox. I’ve taken your advise to buy certain things and I wear a little eye makeup daily at work even in my vanilla life. If I’m driving alone I often slip on my wig and a little lipstick and just indulge myself as I drive.

    Taking time to perfect makeup is important, why should it look right the first time? No reason at all.

    The thing you’ve helped most with is the embarrassment of shopping for girly things, is someone looking, is someone laughing, the answer is probably no and if they are ‘so what,’ what weird things do they like and most of all I know from your followers and other websites that I’m not alone, in fact there are a remarkable large number of people like myself who simply have to relax from time to time and be themselves.

    Monique xxx

  6. I have found that Fiona’s subtle ideas: the spritz of perfume, the subtle eyeshadow, the panties under the male clothes, do help me be a better man. I feel less stressed, am more personable, others seem less rude. So yes.

  7. Crossdressing is who I am. My partner accepts my dressing (I am a lucky person) so I can dress and not feel the stress of always feeling that I am presenting as something that I am not. I become a better man, knowing I have a multi-gender perspective of who I am.

  8. I’m not sure if crossdressing makes you a better man. What I do know is that it influences my behaviour and mood positively. I have a rather stressfull job as CFO and coming home after a tough day often has a negative influence on my wife. She enjoys us drinking a glass of wine together when I come home but I often have to cool down after such a day. When I’m too stressed she often says to me “why don’t you put on a skirt and a nice blouse, you’re much nicer in a skirt or a dress than as the CFO”. And she’s right. After putting on a dress or a skirt I really become another person and my day-to-day business goes away, something like ‘blondes have more fun’ or something. All the emotions fade away, I become a nice and open person. Some days I do put on lingerie under my business suit to be more relaxed. Before certain deals, where some empathy is needed, I put on lingerie and stockings and that always makes me more relaxed and balanced.

  9. In my life there are many things such as family and my hobbies that I do as a man. And enjoy it that way. But late at night after my wife goes to sleep, I slip into some comfortable feminine clothes. Like a nice nighty. I sleep in a separate room since my wife has no idea. It really relaxes me. I recently went shopping at a shopping mall dressed completely femme. I deeply enjoyed the experience and felt very ptoud of overcoming my fear.

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