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Christmas Wishes and the Can Pipes.

Some of you will remember that my mechanic, Sylvester, is a bit of an inventor. His last invention, the Boner, did ok and was technologically sound, but (ironically) never achieved the market penetration he’d hoped.

This morning I was startled to awake to a strange haunting sound coming from the direction of Sylvester’s workshop. At first I thought that the city was testing it’s Early Warning System, originally used to forewarn of a nuclear attack, but now consigned to warn of any of Donald Trumps family infiltrating Canada. I was however mistaken. The sound would come and go, like a ghostly melody drifting across a post apocalyptic landscape, or Detroit. Several residents of Huckleberry Close were congregating outside their houses looking worried, until the sounds faded away.

Continue reading “Christmas Wishes and the Can Pipes.”
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The only thing that looks good on me is you!

The Christmas season has sneaked up on us. As I write this I am mixing eggnog ingredients in the kitchen, Sylvester is sorting bottles of whiskey, rum and Brandy, the doorbell is ringing and Auntie Kittie has just arrived. I swear she picks up the smell of alcohol from eight houses away and then appears at my front door.

We are celebrating quite happily here, the Canucks having just beaten the Senators 5-2 a couple of days ago. Sylvester is very jovial, and we’ve decided to come up with a special recipe for eggnog. We are testing some of the ingredients tonight. Sebastian will be along shortly.

In a few days I will be posting my recipe and I’ll offer a prize to the best picture from one of my Patrons drinking Fiona’s Eggnog. The only catch is, yes, you must crossdressed at the time. So, look out for that competition in about a week.

Can you believe I posted this video three years ago. Yes, it’s been three years. I’ve been sharing myself with you for that long! I put the dresses in the video as it all seemed to fit so well. By the way, if you’re looking for winter clothing ideas you can find some on my Pinterest HERE.

For those who are unaware, Bryan is a regular face around Vancouver. He told me once he wrote a song for me – When You’re Gone – because he thought I was dashing off from Vancouver to Montreal so often. Really, what a silly boy! I suppose one can hardly blame him. It’s awfully busy out there on the road touring all the time and I expect he does get a little lonely.

If this message is a bit disjointed it’s because I’ve just had to explain to Auntie Kittie that the recipe we’re working on calls for Rum, Whiskey, Brandy or Bourbon. The issue seems to be the word ‘or’. She’s looking a little peekie.

Well, perhaps we should turn up Bryan and ask Mistress Meg, Katia, Marjory and Amanda to come over and join us. Things are disintegrating swiftly. Ali is outside admiring his Smart car. In an effort to keep with the seasonal spirit he’s been looking for some reindeer antlers to attach to the front of the vehicle. I mentioned this to Sylvester, who has lent him a rack of moose antlers from a bull moose he shot in the Yukon a couple of years ago. The only problem is that the antlers may be bigger than the car. Not to worry. It certainly looks impressive. Very festive.

Be sure to keep a look out for the Christmas Eggnog competition. It’s open to all my Patrons, and the prize will be Premium Program membership.

Have a wonderful evening.

😊

Fiona

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That Contrapoints Controversy.

I was talking to my good friend Sylvester this morning and he asked me what I thought the most important thing was for my members.

“Well, of course it’s the stories,” I replied.

“No, I mean what are they looking for?” he said, holding one of my hand made coffee cups in his giant paw. I have a good friend who makes them.

“Sylvester,” I said. “This is remarkable. You’re thinking ‘conceptually’. That’s incredible. It’s as though the fridge had made the leap to being self aware!”

“Huh?” He replied.

Before thinking that perhaps I should check up on Skynet I pushed forward.

“I think what they really want is a safe and non-judgemental space. Somewhere they can come and find something of themselves.”

“Ahhhh….” He said. It’s very puzzling when Sylvester takes such a cerebral interest in things.  He really does have a good heart, but deep thoughts about existentialism are, to say the very least, alien to him. Even Hannibal, my dachshund, has a greater grasp of some complex thought processes than Sylvester.

Continue reading “That Contrapoints Controversy.”
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A wonderful night out.

I hope you are going to have a wonderful Halloween night.  Jules has provided a delightful reading of The Apartment for us. If you’ve no other plans perhaps settling down with a glass of wine just before midnight and enjoying this story would be the perfect way to end the night. You can see the video here.

As I am sure you are aware the start of November marks the end of the competitive eating season. Marjorie, my neighbour has excelled this year, surpassing her best in the highly coveted sausage eating division, a fact made even more surprising because she is in a lesbian relationship with my wife’s appalling friend Amanda.

Marjorie is often billed as ‘The Silo’ in these events. I am told this is an affectionate nickname.

In celebration of her successes Marjorie and Amanda decided to take Sebastian, Sylvester and I to dinner. After some discussion it was decided that we’d go to a very exclusive newly opened sushi restaurant.  To mark the occasion I am thrilled to say I found a lovely new skirt from my good friends at The Drag Queen Closet.

As you’ll notice this skirt has a stylish ruching effect.  Like all the Drag Queen Closet products this one has a high quality fabric which beautifully expresses the depth of the claret color I had selected. Fabric is very important. Many of us just look at the cut of the skirt, but to carry the color with depth a good quality fabric is required. The sheer nature of lanon is perfect for this.


 https://thedragqueencloset.com/products/skirt-miss-secretary-3-colors

What I most love about this skirt is it actually helps my deportment. I always wear a bit of a heel, which gives me the posture I am looking for, but the slight tapering inward of this skirt just reminds me to keep my knees together in a ladylike manner. This is a serious business for one who has a propensity to slut out at the slightest opportunity.

Sebastian has commented that I should probably be buried in a Y-shaped coffin, finding that final resting place in that most familiar of postures. He really can be most coarse.

We ended up at the sushi restaurant at about 7.30, enjoyed a lovely Japanese beer, and then settled down for a mixed platter of sushi. This particular restaurant had rather nice arrangement of private cubicles behind those lovely Japanese paper screens which afforded a level of discrete privacy. We sat at a low table and the food was served on the low table before us. All of this was most elegant and sophisticated.

I enjoy salmon particularly, though all the different sushi dishes were excellent. However, part way through the meal something did happen that left a rather strange mark on the evening.

I was sitting, my legs delicately folded beneath me looking quite lovely in the skirt and a plain black silk blouse, and stockings. Sebastian sat opposite, glancing from time to time at a screen which silently played the football game highlights. Sebastian is such a sports nut I really do find it irritating at times, but with my back to the screen I was able to ignore the screen easily.

Then, surprisingly at one point Sebastian murmured, “He really should go deep. One good pass and he’d be away.”

I understand this is a football comment. Having grown up in South Africa, where Rugby is a religion, this is all beyond me. However, from time to time Sebastian would look at Sylvester and say something like, “He should go deep, for heaven’s sake. Did you see that? I mean, really! Did you see that?”

I was enjoying the sushi and Amanda and Marjorie were enjoying each other, as far as I could see. There was a certain amount of touching going on beneath the table, I think. The privacy of these Japanese table arrangements is very discrete.

What happened next happened very swiftly. Sebastian had been putting away the Sake at a pretty good rate, as had Sylvester. I chose to stick to a very light lager while the boys and the two girls raced to the bottle of the nearest barrel. I was really enjoying myself when Sebastian became fixated on the screen and started saying quite loudly, “Go deeper!”

Suddenly an impressive young man was running with the ball and setting up a long pass and hurled the projectile down the pitch. Sebastian was suddenly on his feet shouting, “Deeper! Deeper!”

At that very moment Sylvester started coughing wildly and a moment later his face went from it’s usuall ruddy red to a horrible shade of blue. It quite clashed with my skirt. In a heartbeat Amanda was on her massive feet, stepped behind Sylvester and said, “Don’t worry! I’m a trained professional.”

As Sylvester turned from blue to blue grey, Amanda started jerking Sylveter’s chest in a bear hug and I realised she was doing the heimlich maneuver. A moment later Sylvester coughed and a radish flew from his mouth across the tiny cubicle.

The manager, roused by the cries of “Deeper! Deeper!” came hurrying into the cubicle in time to see Sylvester go sprawling across the delicate low table, and the Sushi plater, only to be pinned under Amanda’s not inconsiderable weight.

“You are animals,” he cried in heavily accented English.

At that very moment Marjorie gave a loud belch, and grinned sheepishly. It’s apparently a common affliction of competitive eaters.

Moments later we were ejected from this exclusive establishment, to my disappointment. However, I suppose all things considered I should not be surprised. One way or another I’ve been thrown out of some of the nicest establishments in the country. Why should this evening have been any different.

If you’d like to buy a lovely skirt like the one I wore that night you can do so here: https://thedragqueencloset.com/products/skirt-miss-secretary-3-colors  I know you won’t be disappointed. Be sure to let the girls at The Drag Queen Closet know that Fiona sent you.

😊

Fiona

– http://FionaDobson.com

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The Apartment – A Halloween ghost story

When Jeff returns to his old apartment he gets more than he bargains for. Enjoy this Halloween ghost story.

Be sure to comment if you feel like it.

Fiona

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A bit of luck and a nice package!

When I got an urgent call this morning asking me to stand in as Master of Ceremonies for a charity event, I was caught short completely. It was really quite tragic, their own MC having met with an unusual accident involving a hamster, a length of pipe and a lighter.  I’m told they should be out of hospital in a week or so, though the hamster was less fortunate. The situation was made doubly dramatic as I had just sent several of my favorite dresses to the dry cleaners as I have a string of events to attend in the coming weeks, and I had nothing to wear. However, as luck would have it I received a delivery when I got to work directly from my friends at Glamour Boutique.

What a stroke of fortune, a beautiful purple lace sleeve dress delivered in their usual discrete packaging.  Now, there’s a number of excellent reasons you should buy from a supplier like Glamour Boutique, rather than off the shelf.  I will go into that shortly, but first, let me tell you exactly how this evening played out.

I called Sylvester who, while he does look like a gorilla that has been strategically shaved when he wears a suit, can be quite fun at these events. He agreed to join me at home at Huckleberry Close and we would then go on from there.

He pulled into my drive right behind me as I arrived home from work, and then waited in the living room as I hurried upstairs to change. As I did so I called down, saying “You’ll have to give me a moment to slip into something.”

I pulled on some fishnets, slipped into a pair of patent leather black heels, and then stepped into the dress. A moment spent on make up, and then I descended the stairs.  Sylvester was gawping at me as I walked into the hallway.

I turned and inspected myself in the full length mirror, Sylvester looming behind me like a great henge.

I watched his reflection as I adjusted my hair, and saw how his gaze fell to my behind, framed nicely by the cut of this particular dress.

“Yes,” he muttered. “Slipping into that seems a good idea…”

“Sylvester,” I said sharply and he averted his gaze.  He really can be most coarse at times.

Moments later we were off to the event, Sylvester driving and I feeling quite excited. A new dress always makes me feel coquettish. Particularly this one. The lace sleeves are so perfect for crossdressers, as they hide a multitude of sins, such as unsightly arm hair. Additionally, the cut of this particular dress is perfect for so many of us. The Empire waist really is a good choice for those of us in the gender fluid space. Most of us don’t have a very pronounced waist, but this style really does lend us a little more shape.

I’ve said before that buying from a company like Glamour Boutique is a good idea. These dresses are synthetic and almost impossible to crease. This is important to me as there are times I have to fling something in a bag without much preparation, and I may not be able to hang it as precisely as a silk or cotton dress might need. Wearing creased clothing is always awkward and a sign of very poor taste. This comfortably sized synthetic dress fits easily to the curves of my body, while still giving a little in those areas I need it to. The fabric has enough stretch to work for a male body shape, and for those of us who occasionally like to add a few body form accessories.  After all, don’t we all have moments where adding a little extra presence to our bust measurement can be done to good effect?

Well made crossdressing dresses will work with or without such accessories, and stretch to accommodate either option. This is why I generally go with clothing from Glamour Boutique, rather than from local stores. I know I will get clothes specifically chosen to be good for a crossdresser, rather than something that might look great in the store but really doesn’t work so well in front of the mirror at home while Sylvester stares at my ass.

And on the subject of my ass, I have to tell you I love this empire waist.  It’s not usually my first choice of dress shape, but it really does work well. Coupled with a high heel the effect is to give just the right flare to the dress, as my ass is slightly exaggerated by the cut of the dress combined with a nice heel. The effect is a dress that has a nice swing to it, looks smooth and well fitted and is really comfortable to wear. So, you can see, I was pretty happy to get to the event, stand up in front of the crowd and enjoy a moment in the spotlight looking great.

I know you will have the same sense of satisfaction if you get in touch with my friends at Glamour Boutique.  Be sure to tell them I sent you.

Fiona

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Weighing up your options.

Hi there,

I’m often asked how I can help my members who want to come out and tell their families. It’s such a delicate subject, and often these feelings rise to the fore at a delicate time.

Recently a 24 year old from Cincinnati asked me the question on my online chat on the website, “Fiona, I wish so badly to become a girl but I can’t figure a way to tell my family. Can you help me?”

I chatted with my member while on my  tablet sitting in my garden and this is what transpired. First of all it became clear that my friend had told no one about this desire.  Not family, not girlfriends. Additionally they’d never been out to a drag bar, never been out crossdressed and have essentially just gone through life so far denying their feelings of gender confusion.

The first thing I had to suggest is that without having discussed this quietly and calmly with others who either understand or are on their own journey into the centre space of gender they would be moving without reference point or real information.  Being able to chat or talk with others in the same boat and hear their stories provides a little bit of a guide.  There are, after all, right ways and wrong ways to approach this. To simply go with some preconceptions, which may or may not be realistic was not likely to be a good idea.

As I pointed out to Ali, my Syrian gardener, while I chatted if you’ve never been exposed to a group of people who are familiar with this, you really don’t know what the options are. He helpfully pointed out that in Syria the options are being stoned to death.

“That’s only one option,” I said.

“Well, you could possibly choose large stones or smaller stones. But that’s about it.”

I made a note to mention that where you are in the world also makes a difference. I am not sure that Cincinnati is a very liberal place, but I suspect it’s marginally ahead of Damascas, or so I am told.

Continue reading “Weighing up your options.”
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Shove it in my trunk!

“Shove that shaft in my trunk,” I said to Sylvester, who’d asked me to give him a ride home after work.

He’s a wonderful mechanic, always with a tool in his hand. But I digress. I felt I would write and tell you about the wonderful things we’ve got planned for Mexico.

So many of my members struggle to find a way to dress discretely and safely. I am thrilled to be offering the escape to Mexico we have planned for January.

I hear so many stories of members unable to dress and relax. Many of my members are not comfortable going out of the house dressed. Others fear they may not pass as well as they’d like.  Now, imagine a situation where you could dress. You could ask someone for some help and advice. You could even learn about make up, and enjoy a night out without the worry of someone bumping into you. That sounds like a pretty good day.

Well, our team at the Fiona Dobson Crossdressing Conference can help you do exactly that – but for four days and in the spectacular Miramar Hotel in Puerto Vallarta. Join us on this escape and take that giant step that every crossdresser wants. This trip will help you feel confident crossdressing. In unpressured and non judgemental surroundings enjoy the feeling of wearing what you wish, and doing what you want.

You’ll be with a small group of people, likely just like you, in a private setting.  If you’ve ever had to hide your dressing, this retreat will be relaxing and rejuvenating. Get more information HERE.

By the way, if you’ve never read it, you may enjoy my ongoing series Clothes Maketh The Man. It’s in it’s 37th episode at present.

Have a great week.

Fiona