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Max shoved his carrot up Sebastian’s exhaust pipe!
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Get into that mini skirt for summer!
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We’re firming up our members.
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Crossdressing Hypnosis – You Want To Be A Girl.
You’ll be surprised what we squeezed in this week!
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Meet Aunt Pearl – Serial Trophy Wife and Gambler.
My aunt Pearl always used to say that you donât win the lottery unless you buy a ticket. I remember the words echoing in my ears as they carted her off to rehab yet again, for her gambling addiction.
She was not only a serial gambler, but also a serial trophy wife. Her habit allowed her to work her way through the fortunes of six husbands, some of whom died in what can only be described as mysterious circumstances. Fortunately the standards of police investigation in Northern Rhodesia at the time were not quite up to the standards of CSI tv shows today. One went riding on his ranch, and was never seen again. Another choked to death in a tragic sausage eating competition (no surprises there), and another had a mysterious heart attack while taking his daily exercise. No one would think playing bowls could be so strenuous.
Needless to say, Aunt Pearl died a very wealthy woman. When asked where her wealth had come from she would often reply that one of her husbands had been involved in the âundergroundâ doing secret work during the war in London. This seemed very cryptic, and itâs certainly true that she did generally marry older men, much more frail than herself. One had indeed been in London during the war, though he worked on The Underground, driving a train. It was he who won the lottery and was the basis of her fortune.
You doubtless wonder why I am sharing these intimate details. Well, I am still sunning myself on the beach here in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. A flat tummy is good, as far as it goes. A bronzed one is even better. Iâve been getting some help from Juan the masseur, who has helped in so many ways. Heâs rubbed all manner of things on my body to improve my tone.
My presence here is due in part to my cashing in a few stocks and investments. I always make a point to have a small portfolio of shares; as Aunt Pearl said, âyou donât win the lottery if you donât buy a ticketâ, after all. I am not suggesting you take investment advice from a crossdressing femme like me, but this market feels right for an adjustment. I canât help thinking itâs about to slide for a while. Best revisit those precious metal stocks. They look a lot more secure than most right now.
So, I cleared a few positions and slid down to Mexico for a couple of weeks. Juan is doing a masterful job of keeping things up with much more certainty than the current market.
I have been learning some useful Spanish phrases, which I will list for you at the foot of this message. Juan is very talented, a master of tongues. He said to me just the other day that he envied my good luck on the market.
âIf I stand close to you, perhaps some of that good luck will rub off on me!â He said with a laugh.
I smiled at him, looking at the rather obvious bulge in his speedo, and replied that if he stood much closer it would be more than just my good luck that would rub off on him.
Have a wonderful week, and remember â âAccept yourself as you are, and create yourself as you wish.â
đ
Fiona
One simply has to service every member that comes my way.
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Urine a pile of trouble, Fiona.
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Happy New Year – Come and Probe My Inbox!
Sylvester and Max are jacking off in my garden!
Sylvester and Max are jacking off in my garden!
Hi,
+++ A quick explanatory note: Members who sign up for the Free Program, and Premium Program Members, get my messages the moment they are written. They are posted as blog comments about a week later, so belated Merry Christmas. Have a great New Year! +++
My goodness, if you could see whatâs going on outside my window. I can hardly believe is! Iâm standing here in my Christmas lingerie, and my heels, and quite shocked at what I can see going on out there!
Ali, my gardner has just told me, âItâs ok, Fiona. Itâs just Sylvester and Max jacking off in the flower beds.â
Now, I know you can imagine me standing here in my flowing red silk robe, mouth open in surprise. I am staring out at the snowy Montreal scene, and everybody seems to be having a wonderful time! Oh, perhaps you should even be here!
Let me explain. Iâm watching Sylvesterâs muscle bound arm pumping up and down and Max, my next door neighbours 20 year old son laughing – I think heâs licking his fingers â yes, heâs spilled some Baileyâs Irish Cream on his hand, or at least I think thatâs what it is. And Ali is watching, engrossed in the unfolding scene.
Theyâre laughing and very jolly, Sylvesterâs face red with exertion, and he has a look of deep concentration. Apparently, Aliâs Smart Car slid off the drive in the snow as he pulled into the icy driveway. It slid into the flower bed, and onto a rock in the rockery. Max and Sylvester were already at my place enjoying a Christmas eve drink, and now the three of them are working away to lift the little vehicle off the rock and manhandle it back onto the drive. What Christmas excitement!
I should hurry along, Amanda, the queen of tweed will be here soon, and Bernard is coming over. My wife, sadly is travelling. Sheâs a slave to her job! In the meantime, we are a fun gang, all hoping that Christmas will go with a bang!
I hope yours does, too! Have a wonderful holiday and remember, be careful if you are driving in the snow. Otherwise you too might find yourself licking Irish cream from your fingers after jacking off in someoneâs garden!
Merry Christmas,
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Fiona