Join me for another episode of Playtime with Fiona. I can hardly believe how creative Sylvester has become.
Here’s a handy crossdressing tip. Sports bras often come with a pocket for inserts. Even when they don’t they are a useful thing to have, as you can increase your feminine shape very subtly, giving yourself a small but apparent breast mass.
This not only looks great, it helps you feel very feminine. If you don’t have one or two, maybe this is a great time to consider buying one. Remember to choose sizing conservatively. They are usually made of a somewhat stretchy material, but avoid making the mistake of buying something too small. It will never be comfortable, and won’t feel so good.
As you likely know, I work for a well known advertising agency in an active office in this delightful city. It is often said that for each job in some industries, several other people are supported. So, for example while a car plant may employ 4,000 people a further 6,000 jobs are created servicing the 4,000 people employed with things like transport, employment services and catering. In much the same way, my work supports not just myself, but also Sylvester my mechanic, Sebastian my personal trainer, Ali my gardener, young Max who helps with technology on my blog and several other assorted hangers on and peripheral individuals.
I was talking on this very subject with Bernard, my photographer, when we were out on agency business just the other day. Ali, who so lovingly tends my garden, spends more time there than I ever do. Instead, while he enjoys my delightful champaign colored roses in my garden I am out driving with Bernard on a task for the advertising agency. And Iâm paying Ali! It all seems rather obtuse. That said, I do love Ali, and his daughters are sweetness itself. They arrived in Canada just a couple of years ago, refugees from the war in Syria.
As you probably know in my work as a busy crossdressing advertising account executive I lead a busy life. In the company I work for there I several boards and committees, with a lot of new faces recently. And I have to say I have been asked to sit on many of them. I like to avoid any of the contentious ones of course. This week however I did chair a couple of meetings to decide who we would award company scholarships to. The committee met at my house and we went over the details of the candidates.
I must say, I am probably not making myself popular but I tend to favor the under-achievers. I am a firm believer that the way schools measure performance is meaningless. Besides, over achievers always make it. Itâs those of us that donât come first in the class that need the help, donât you think? Rewarding excellence is alright, as far as it goes, but itâs not a bad idea to celebrate those of us who didnât come home to a wall full of trophies, too.
After the meeting and my guests left I decided to cycle over to Sylvesterâs place, where I found him in his garage pulling out bits of old equipment. He has all sorts of things in there. Old parts of motorcycles, a theodolite (whatever that is), and other items picked up in estate sales and auctions. He seems to gather these things in the hopes that one day they will once more be useful. Quite what anyone would do with four Eight Track cassettes of Captain and Tennille I really donât know. All the same, he always seems happy out here rummaging about in the junk.
âIsnât this beautiful,â said Sylvester, a piece of electrical equipment in his hand. âItâs a brass light switch. It just needs a good polish.â
As Sylvester put some brass polish on a cloth and started polishing his nob I cast my eyes over the piles of assorted junk in the garage. I supposed it brought Sylvester some joy, and as one who does like to invent things from time to time I supposed there was some practical purpose to it all. He seemed quite content playing with his equipment. A very male trait, I supposed.
I poked about in a couple of the boxes, eventually finding a lovely old motorcycle headlamp, wires sprouting from it like colorful vines looking for something to creep up, a little like some of the junior execs at the advertising agency. I idly decided to polish the metal surround of the lamp, as Sylvester retreated into the house to make us both a coffee.
As I polished the metal, and I know this seems surprising but then such things happen to me all the time, a strange pink mist seemed to form before me. At first I thought Iâd open the garage door to let the mist dissipate, clearly an environmental hazard. As I rose to my feet to open the door a form appeared and emerged from the clouds of pink mist, a beautiful woman wearing a sparkling dress and carrying a rainbow colored wand.
âCan I help you?â I asked, taking in the long dress and tiara worn by the beautiful figure before me.
âNo, Fiona. Iâm here to help you,â replied the beautiful woman before me. âI am the Lady of The Lamp â your fairy god milf, and I am here to grant you three wishes.â
âWell, that seems a little random,â I replied, surprised at her appearance in Sylvesterâs garage. I mean, you sort of expect these things to happen in sacred places, not in a hoarderâs garage.
âYou summoned me,â came the reply as she waved her hand in front of her face and gave a little cough. âSorry about the mist. Itâs always like this. Ozone. Something like that.â
âWell, itâs a good job I found you. Poor old Sylvester is out here polishing his knob and things all the time, and heâs never said he found a Lady Of The Lamp,â I replied.
The lady looked a little embarrassed and said, âYou should tell him to take it easy on that. He could go blind.â
âThatâs exactly what I told him, but what can you do,â I replied. âBoys will be boys. So what are you doing hanging out in an old motorcycle lamp?â
âWhat sort of questionâs that? Old oil lamps, thatâs what everyone seems to expect but we havenât been doing that in years. Iâve got a sister whoâs just moved into a Teslaâs LED system. Iâve been stuck in this thing for the last eighty years, but here I am. So, three wishes. Letâs do it so I can be free once more.â
âWell, I suppose I should go with âworld peace, personal health and wealth.ââ I replied.
âOh, come on, Fiona. You know thatâs like the âlunch box Aâ of wish making. You can do better than that,â she responded.
âWell, it would be nice if Rainbow wasnât so lonely up there in the light house. Something to make her life better might be nice,â I said.
The lady closed her eyes and snapped her fingers.
âOh, and someone stole my boobs last fall. They took a bag from my car and it had a pair of 44 DDâs in it. Iâd like those back,â I said and a moment later I felt my sweater tighten and a wonderful pair of breasts emerged.
Iâm not going to share that with you, Iâm afraid. Itâs a little personal. With that the lady gave me a final smile and vanished to roam free.
By the time Sylvester returned with the coffees I did find that I was feeling much more at peace with the world. And so to the moral of the story⊠These are not easy times, but with a little creativity we can find ways to move forward with a smile, great make up and a pair of 44 DDâs on our chest.
Sitting in my kitchen, enjoying a quiet cup of tea, wearing my favorite kimono, I was surprised to see Ali hurrying through the gate in the fence between my garden and my neighbors. Ali, you’ll remember is my wonderful gardener. He’s a Syrian refugee, and the nicest man you can imagine.
He bustled into the kitchen looking flustered.Â
“It’s Marjorie,” he said looking worried. “She has the most terrible infestation!”
“She has?” I said, a little puzzled.
“Yes, in her bush. It’s very distressing.”
“Well, it would be,” I replied.
Ali is a gardener, but he was a professor at Damascus University prior to the war. He is very knowledgeable about botany. When it comes to making my garden bloom, he’s sure to be all over it.Â
“If her problem spreads to our garden it’s going to be horrible. Aphids are little monsters! I think I should take care of it. If I don’t everyone in Huckleberry Close is going to get it.”
“That’s a wonderful idea,” I said.
Sure enough, later that evening, when Sylvester and Bernard were over enjoying a drink with me at the end of the day, Ali came back happily convinced he’d resolved the issue. He had used some sprays, a little trimming and Marjorie’s bush was looking very thoroughly groomed.
Well, done, Ali,” I said. “After rooting around in Marjory’s bush all afternoon, I think you deserve a little clap.”
I could not help noticing, whilst driving home from the advertising agency the other day, the names on the back of vehicles. The model names of vehicles are of interest to me, from both the branding perspective and what it tells me about the drivers.
Have you been reading ‘Clothes Maketh The Man‘? Enjoy the ongoing serial now in its third year.
A therapist member of mine recently pointed out to me that several of their erectile dysfunction clients did indeed drive muscle cars, in more than one instance a Hummer. Frankly I feel anyone driving a Hummer should be on their knees begging forgiveness from their children as they pump heat into an increasingly fragile environment. On the other hand, given the erectile dysfunction issues associate with Hummer ownership theirs a good chance that having children is one complication these thoughtless tools will not have to concern themselves with.
Sylvester, on the other hand has shunned the muscles cars
and even removed the photo on his office wall of him posing with his Dodge
Penetrator 3000. I am pleased to see him mellowing. I do remember the day he
pulled up outside my house, on his phone calling me to tell me he was there.
âIâm just pulling into your garage,â he said. âNo wait, Iâm
reversing. Pulling in again⊠backing up,
and going in again now. Perhaps I should go in the laneway round the back. I
can get the back way, but itâs a bit tight.â
You know, I may have said this before, but Sylvester can be
quite coarse at times.
Personally I like to drive a Buick Vagina. Itâs the limited Silhouette
edition. So much more my style. Both feminine and powerful, with the twin turbo
V6 with the cuddle seats option.
Vehicle names and designs do tell us a lot about their
drivers. I noticed a Kia Soul in the traffic as I was driving home, and I can
only speculate that some Korean designer sat down and thought hard about what a
car designed for Spongebob Squarepants might look like, and then took up the
challenge to build it. Ironically the driver of this particular vehicle did
look like a cartoon character.
Sebastian, my vegetarian personal trainer, drives a Kia Hymen when not riding his electric bicycle. His sister, Rainbow, drives a Nissan Slide with a synchromatic gearbox. Amanda drives a Prius, which is entirely predictable, while of course Ali, my gardener, drives the Smart Car with a rifle rack on the rear window, adapted to carry his gardening tools. Heâs proud to declare he always shows up with his hoes.
One of my Vancouver members, Lenni, is originally from
Alaska, and proudly tells of her mother having driven a Ford LTD wagon. This vehicle,
with a 7.5 litre engine has the dubious distinction of being capable of hitting
a moose, killing it, and then being able to transport it back to the trailor
park for butchering. I canât help thinking life in Alaska holds wonders I am
pleased not to have either witnessed or shared.
Instead I think Iâll go and get Sylvester to change the
fluids in my Buick Vagina.
I have been hard at work with some of my corporate clients at the advertising agency recently, and as we move toward the climax of summer some are organising their company parties and corporate retreats.
Naturally I get to be invited to many of these, both as a part of the clientâs team, but also as I am generally advising the organising committees for such events. Since the Covid situation is receding I have seen many new faces on these committees, and Iâve been asked to sit on several of them.
So it was that I happened to be asked to attend a costumed event recently, and was asked to bring one or two friends to add color and vibrancy to the situation.
With the emergence of the spring flowers in my garden Ali, my Syrian gardener is positively skipping about in the back garden tending to the blossoming blooms. And on such a glorious sunny day what could possibly come along to disrupt my day?
Well might you ask. Looking a little bedraggled Sylvester â he of the bedroom eyes and bathroom mind â blundered into the kitchen and looked expectantly at the coffee brewing.
âYouâre looking a little disheveled, Sylvester,â I commented.
âThatâs because Iâve been staring into a man hole all morning,â he replied.
âYou really can be quite course, Sylvester. What you do in the privacy of your own home I really donât wish to share,â I replied, quite understandably.
âNo! You donât understandâŠâ he protested.
âOh, I assure you I understand. I just donât think you need to advertise the fact.â I poured the coffee.
âSome guy was stuck in it,â he continued.
âFor goodness sake, Iâve barely finished my breakfast!â I said and poured a little milk in the coffee.
âThere was this poor guy stuck in the manhole in the road outside my house. Theyâre doing some engineering work after those floods we had last fall. He did something to his back, and so I helped him out,â explained Sylvester.
âSo,â I said, ever the patient friend, âyouâre telling me that you helped out some guy who was stuck in a âmanholeâ. And you donât see how funny that sounds?â
But Sylvesterâs nefarious doings arenât the main reason Iâm writing. In these times of inflation and uncertainty I’d like to reassure you, when you subscribe as a member on my site you are then locked into a monthly rate that doesn’t change. You’re also able to cancel at any time, and return later if you wish. While there’s a mountain of free content here, there’s also some great paid content – but I fully understand that not everyone can afford this. I try to support all my members, paid or otherwise.
As members go on their journey through gender exploration I know they will come in, and sometime go out, of the site. Many members cycle and have binge/purge experiences. That’s ok, and my systems are built to accommodate that precise activity.
If you are getting my weekly emails – which you get when you sign up for the Free Program – you’ll already know the importance of having a great body stocking in your wardrobe. Â I was reminded, when looking at Sylvester’s legs the other day, that some of us bare a closer resemblance to the lower primates than others. Having a great body stocking is a good way to disguise body hair.
Here’s a selection of options that are fun, easy to wear and will make you feel fabulous.
âThatâs it, Sylvester,â I said. âYou just take down your boxers and Iâll stick a big one up there!â
While perched on the top of a step ladder Sylvester handed me down the two portraits of his fatherâs prize winner pedigree boxer dogs. They won the dog show here several years ago, and as I liked the pictures so much Sylvester allowed me to display the paintings in my living room while his apartment was being decorated. They made a nice change, but to be honest Iâm a little bored of them now. Iâm replacing them with a huge photograph of Hannibal, my dachshund now. I do like to freshen up the look of my living room in spring, donât you?
I’ve had a lovely week, Marjory my neighbour invited me over yesterday evening, having hired a sweet young French chef to cook her birthday dinner. What a handsome young man he is! And I think he took a shine to me, too.
After thanking him in the kitchen for such a lovely meal I spotted something between the frog’s legs, and the cake. So many candles! In the end we lit them, and the chef and my friends all sang happy birthday for Marjory before she blew them all out in the dinning room. It brought quite a lump to my throat. Such fun!
But thatâs not the main reason Iâm writing today. I’ve been trying to be supportive to Rainbow, Sebastian‘s sister. She’s terribly worried about the people in Ukraine, where she has a number of friends.
“They should do something about those awful Russians,” she said to me while sitting at my kitchen table. “Can’t they send someone?”
“Like who?” I asked.
“I don’t know. The Pope, or the other one,” and then she paused and scratched her head, and then remembering said, “That nice Bono, or Greta Thunberg, perhaps.”
“I’m not sure Greta’s quite the right person,” I replied, “though she might have something to say about the carbon emissions of those useless T72 tanks. They seem to burn very well, if nothing else, but I don’t think that does much for global warming. Then again nor does a thermobaric weapon. The environment doesn’t seem to be a priority for Mr. Putin.”
“I feel so helpless,” she added at length.
“Well, you don’t have to,” I said. “Unicef, the UN agency with a mandate to help women and children, is organising help for women and children in Ukraine. So is UNHCR, who look after refugees.”
Giving here has the funds matched by the agency and is applied directly to women and children in need, and is the most efficient way to provide help. I didn’t need to add that previously having worked for Unicef in Africa, in field emergencies in Sudan and Somalia, I could vouch for their effectiveness.
“It’s a tragedy,” I said, giving her a hug. “But one way or another we’re all going to be a part of sorting it out. And I don’t mind paying a few extra dollars for gas if it means we don’t give Mr. Putin the kind of help he needs to hurt innocent women and children in Ukraine. Let’s just hope people are wise enough not to let his friends, people like that orange haired loser of a former president, ever get anywhere near the reins of power ever again.”
With that I suggested Rainbow come upstairs and help me pick out a nice yellow and blue outfit to wear when I go out today. Perhaps you could do the same.
If you feel generous use the links above to send a few dollars to support people affected by the war in Ukraine. Send me a copy of your receipt and I will enroll you at no cost in our Whatsapp Group – a gift worth $10 a month. Just send me a copy of your receipt to fdobson@zoho.com
On a fine spring morning like this I often feel compelled to go out and have a jog around the local park and then return for a refreshing morning shower. This morning I did so, with a spring in my step and a discrete bulge in my yoga pants.
After working up a little bit of a sweat running and watching a few of the dog walkers out in the park playing with their balls, (calm yourself Amber in Colorado), I got home, turned on the shower and stepped under the warm stream of rejuvenating water.
I think I smelled as lemon fresh as a grove of lemon trees beside a soap factory when I stepped out of the shower. By the time I sat down at the computer in the kitchen I was ready for anything.
After I opened up my computer two things immediately caught my attention. The first was a delightful email from Kay Lee, who sent this lovely picture. I’m sure you’ll agree she looks delightful.
The second was a drop of water beside my ‘Return’ key on the computer. A moment later there was another. Looking up, I could see a slightly indiscreet stain on the ceiling where some water was seeping through. I moved my computer away from the drip, and then called Sylvester, who is so handy at these things.
Sylvester is such a darling. He hurried round, parking in my wife’s slot, and used my rear entrance. She’s away travelling – I believe she’s in Patagonia this week (wherever that is).
After a lot of huffing and puffing and bending over in the shower he declared very excitedly that he thought he’d have to squirt some mastic in my crack. I felt quite nervous at the suggestion. I’m really not sure what mastic is, but if it helps I guess I will just have to succumb.
Anyway, he’s up there now getting ready. I may have to go and change in a moment. I do hope he takes the proper precautions!
Seldom, if ever, do I like to come between friends (calm down Amber, in Colorado). Yet this morning I came down the stairs having had a refreshing shower to find Sylvester shaking Sebastian vigorously by the neck. I leaped in, interposing myself (phrasing) between them, my colorful summer swing dress swishing about me.
âCalm down, boys!â I said, as I struggled to hold them apart.
âI will not calm down!â said Sylvester, still fuming. âHe said he wants me in a three way!â
I glanced at Sebastian. Iâd always had my suspicions. He glared at me, Sylvesterâs grip loosening.
âSylvester, I think you should put Sebastian down. Heâs gone a funny color. Besides, you might enjoyâŠâ
âI was trying to explain three way calling,â chimed in Sebastian, as the color came back to his face. âAll I said was, âwould you like to join Max and I in a three way?ââ
Â
âWell, I think I see where the confusionâs crept in,â I said. âPerhaps Max and you could help Sebastian get a little more utility from his smart phone. You know, Sylvester, Iâve seen your messages that end with that quaint little expression, âSent from a phone thatâs smarter than I am.â I think in your case it might well be true.â
Thirty minutes later Sylvester was being watched by three of us marveling as he attempted to open a Soundcloud song that had been shared over Watsapp.
âItâs quite remarkable,â I said, shaking my head. âItâs like watching a monkey try to operate a type writer.â
âCome on, Sylvester. Youâve got 999,999 more tries to go! Given enough time,â said Sebastian very softly, âsome people believe that enough monkeys would type the complete works of Shakespeare.â
You could almost feel the gears inside Sylvesterâs head grinding. He frowned again, and prodded the file in the Watsapp window.
But thatâs not the main reason Iâm writing to you today. I thought Iâd share a rather wonderful BBC article with you. In this piece about the people of Guna Yala, their unusual lifestyle is examined. As a child develops they are allowed to move toward a more male or female orientation. While this is still essentially binary in nature there is clearly a more equal approach to gender. There is also a greater choice in how the Guna present themselves. Itâs a fascinating read and I hope you enjoy it.
Donât forget our Premium Program is growing all the time.
Iâve just finished a busy week of work at the advertising agency. Iâve hardly had time to do the volunteering I love to do down at the SPCA. I often help out in their office. Itâs so tiny, though. Thereâs hardly room to swing a cat in there!
I have however had time to get a little shopping in. I decided to pay a visit to the department store downtown, and Sylvester, my mechanic, joined me. When heâd finished going round and round in the revolving door he followed me into the lingerie department. He really can be infantile at times, you know.
Such a delightful way to spend the afternoon. Looking at lingerie with a neanderthal companion. He is however good at carrying boxes while Iâm shopping. You can find some of my shopping list suggestions HERE.
In the meantime I thought you might enjoy the video below. Itâs a talk by Paula Stone Williams. They transitioned in their fifties and experienced life as both a man and a woman. Their perspective is worth hearing. If youâd like more content on the psychology of crossdressing, you can find it on my site here – https://fionadobson.com/tag/psychology/.
Before I go any further, I should clarify something for Mildred from Colorado Springs, in response to your question of how to prevent her puppy stealing food from kitchen surfaces I had advised her to put it in the fridge. I was, of course, referring to the food, and not the dog. I understand Spot is making a full recovery, but now avoids confined spaces.
Now that things are a little less locked down I am having more guests over at my place. Last night Sylvester and I enjoyed a nice glass of wine while we waited for Marjory and Amanda, my wifeâs appalling friend, to arrive for a night of board games. Apparently Amanda was a little late getting home, her industrial welding class having over run.
Thereâs no âfâ in âTranniesâ said Sylvester, as I arranged the letters on the Scrabble board.
âDonât be so silly,â I said as I placed the lettered tiles on the board. âThere, âTransferenceâ and the âTâ is on a double word score.â
Iâve been trying to keep Sylvester amused as heâs been moping about the place recently. I think heâs a little jealous of Marjory, whoâs in a lesbian relationship with Amanda. All the same he did his best to be gracious, and put some music on while we played the game.
Marjory, who is very big on the competitive eating circuit, enjoys country music and Sylvester created a selection of Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson classics.
âSylvester,â said Marjory, âYou have such good taste. Iâm a little surprised.â
Sylvester looked a little sheepish, and then Marjory added, âIâve always liked Johnny Cash, but Iâve never really been a fan of Willieâs.â
Sylvester cast a sideways glance at Amanda, but wisely said nothing. Poor Sylvester.
But thatâs not the main reason Iâm writing to you tonight. Iâm just letting you know that thereâs a new episode of Clothes Maketh The Man out, part 52, and reminding all my members that Iâve recently added some wonderful new hypnosis files to the Seahorse Program. Mistress Meg has been particularly busy, creating some great material. Thereâs always plenty of hypnosis files on the site, many of which are free, and they can be found by following this link.
I have adjusted some of my pricing recently giving a discount to those booking for a one year subscription. Be sure to check out my programs here â http://FionaDobson.com/my-programs
First of all I should make a quick correction, for the benefit of one of my members who has contacted me regarding some confusion in advice I gave her recently. When I said that a pair of sugar tongs may be used to pull fur balls from a cat, I should have pointed out that these are found in the catâs throat. Now that thatâs clarified, I can get along with todayâs post.
While I do not condone smoking in an way, I admit that at New Year I will sit in my conservatory and smoke a cigar with Sylvester to celebrate the arrival of the new year. I know itâs not very ladylike, but Mistress Meg and Katia Thornwood do enjoy the occasional puff and as long as itâs just once a year I donât really have a problem with it.
As I sat in a ratan chair, blowing snow piling up outside the window, I remarked to Sylvester that nothing can really beat getting your lips round eight inches of Cuban and that itâs a lovely way to start the new year.
My long maxi pleated skirt fell about my stockinged legs, as we sat there watching the snow. I felt nice and cozy in the night, warmed by a sherry and a radiator which keeps this pleasant room toasty on cold winter nights.
Sylvester blew a smoke ring and then said, âI didnât realise these cigars were from Cuba.â
âThe cigars? Oh, no I think these are from Nicaragua,â I replied.
He really should follow the plot.
Anyway, thatâs not the main reason I am writing. Thereâs a fun new self hypnosis on my site which I thought Iâd tell you about. You can find it here.
I hope 2022 is getting off to a good start for you.
What a busy week itâs been. I should offer a little clarity on something before I go any further, relating to one of my valued members. As you likely know, I am always keen to help my members with helpful advice. Mildred, of Colorado Springs, recently asked me how she might stop her puppy from chasing the postman when he comes by delivering some of her online orders. I suggested she should have him neutered and things will immediately get much better. I suppose in retrospect I should have explained more clearly that I meant the dog. I should also apologise to George Reynolds of Colorado Springs, or Georgina as heâs now known.
âWhere on earth am I going to get my hands on a pair of 44DD breasts in a hurry?â I asked Sylvester.
âDonât look at me,â said the diminutive Rainbow, as she settled down on my right hand beside me at my desk and looked at some of the websites I was browsing. She had just dropped in having led a yoga class at the community centre down the road. She was quite hoarse from a surfeit of omming.
âAmanda may be able to help you there,â mused Sylvester.
âReally, Sylvester,â I said. âYou can be quite course at times. You know very well what Iâm talking about. My car was broken into the other day and someone got rather more than they bargained for. The backpack they took carried my magnificent pocket bra and large breasts, a gift from a friend some years ago.â
I do think fondly of those breasts. Catching sight of my reflection for the first time with the curves I should have been born with was breathtaking. Itâs quite a remarkable feeling when one does first put on such a magnificent accessory, and then marches down the street like a battle ship bringing a pair of 16 inch guns to bare on passers by. At first the thought is unmistakably how magnificent they look, but soon one becomes aware that itâs so much more than that. Itâs the wonderful feeling that this is how one should look, but for an accident of chromosomes. It just feels so very natural and right.
I quickly went to my friends at The Drag Queen Closet (where I know I can always find great products at sensible prices) and found just what I was looking for. Whether youâre a first time buyer or familiar with drag supplies and crossdressing products, you can rely on them to steer you right. Itâs such a relief to know Iâll be stepping out to my Christmas events looking my best. If youâre looking for something special, and have an eye for quality you should check them out for that special gift for yourself.
I would like to pass on the very best of Christmas wishes from the team at The Drag Queen Closet to my members and friends who love to enjoy crossdressing, drag and gender fluidity. They really are supportive to us and share our ideals in finding a gentler more feminine world in the year ahead. I know they send their very best to all of us at the end of a year which has tested us, but one in which we emerge still strong, still standing, and putting our best foot forward (in spectacular heels) for 2022.
Have a lovely week. Drop by the site as I will be on during the day and early evening chatting with members throughout the Christmas period. Don’t forget the Fiona Dobson Playlist to help keep your holiday season upbeat. By the way, below is a George Michael classic from the playlist. George used to be my first wife’s laundry guy. Yeah! He worked in a cleaners in Finchley, in London, when he was a teenager. True story.
Fiona.
PS. Feeling a little disconnected or alone at Christmas? There’s no need to. Join my Whatsapp Group and connect with some of my members immediately.
Well, I thought what Sylvester was saying was that Hannibal, my dachshund had been interred. Wondering if this were some punishment for running wildly about the park, I assumed he meant heâd been taken by the bylaw officer. This is what you get for letting your friend walk your dog.
Iâd have walked Hannibal myself, were it not for the fact that I need my legs waxed. Rainbow has been kind enough to come over to help, and after weâve finished weâll be enjoying an eggplant yoghurt facial she has concocted. As you can imagine I am using the term âenjoyingâ advisedly. Iâm sure you understand thereâs a certain amount of scheduled maintenance has to happen to keep up appearances, as a crossdressing account executive at the advertising agency. Much as one would care for a beautiful object, or as Bernard, my photographer, put it rather unkindly a large public building.
Sylvester thinks Hannibal, who is extremely sweet particularly when he snarls at Amanda, is a chick magnet. Whenever he walks Hannibal young women who ought to know better come up to Sylvester and start fawning over him. I mean, Hannibal, not Sylvester. Fawning over Sylvester would be like fawning over a Caterpillar Tractor. As a result Sylvester enjoys walking Hannibal some days, usually after the local yummy mummies have dropped there screaming charges off at the Huckleberry Montessori Daycare Centre For Spoiled Brats.
He wanders around the park looking sombre and brooding like a poet or a man recently widowed who needs the loving embrace of a dissatisfied young mother. Preferably blonde, a former gymnast, and quite possibly with poor English skills.
âWhat do you mean, Sylvester,â I said into the phone. âThey canât inter my dog!â
âNo, heâs been âinterredâ. Itâs a fancy way of saying heâs got very dirty.â
I paused. I think Sylvester has been spending too much time with Ali, my Syrian gardener.
âI donât think thatâs what that means,â I said. âIf you mean heâs dirty I suggest you bring him back here and give him a good wash. And I donât mean like last time.â
I could tell Sylvester was about to protest and quickly added, âSylvester, throwing Hannibalâs ball through Mr. Singhâs car wash does not count as cleaning my dog. Iâm still getting abusive phone calls from him from the last time.â
I hung up the phone and returned to the business at hand, Katia having recently arrived and was presently sitting with Rainbow and myself contemplating the yoghurt facial.
âDo you plan to eat it or fix the grouting with it?â she asked.
As you likely know, Katia Thornwood is what I can best be described as a disciplinarian, working with some of my Seahorse members. These are those special members who require that extra little helping hand in their dressing. Katia and Mistress Meg look after them and can be found on my Patreon. However, Katia was visiting my house to discuss some minor business matters and was looking forward to seeing Sylvester.
âHeâs a very useful sort of chump,â observed Katia. âHe leant me some of that very fine oil for a pair of nipple clamps I use on my visitors. Iâve been using them a while now, and I hardly hear a squeak out of them.â
âThe clamps or the visitors,â I asked.
âBoth,â she replied. âI have these rather frightening surgical shears Iâd like him to oil. Theyâre most intimidating. They look perfect for castration.â
I winced a little and then said, âWell you can be sure your clients would speak highly of you after that.â
Katia sniggered and replied that theyâre really just for show and insisted itâs good to maintain her tools.
âI would never have believed it would get this big!â I said to Sylvester.
âLook at this huge bulge!â he replied, his eyes wide.
âI had no idea it would be this big when I started working on it,â I said, still surprised.
We were examining in detail the growth figures for Clothes Maketh The Man, the serial which started this very website. The graph showed a massive explosion â almost a volcanic emission â the huge growth spurt we got in 2016 when Clothes Maketh The Man first appeared.
Since then over 75,000 members have enjoyed the series. And of course, a lot more has happened besides. Weâve done everything from helping Mildred from Colorado Spring understand that when it says âPush up bottomâ on the deodorant stick sheâs been using for years it means depress the base of the packaging â itâs an easy mistake to make -, to voting Ashley Baron our crossdresser of the year. Weâve not had that competition for the last couple of years, so I guess Ashley is still our reigning Queen. Donât forget we also have some great music in The Fiona Dobson Playlist thatâs always sure to give you a lift.
Today I have posted Clothes Maketh The Man part 50. If youâve not been reading this great series you can do so here. And donât forget, your memberships keep this iconic series running, so if youâre not already a member be sure to join one of my programs here.
Just a reminder, if you are enjoying some of the emails you can click on the hotlinks within the email to drill deeper (phrasing) and penetrate the stories in more detail. And we all like deep penetration. You can of course also find a wealth of my content on Pinterest. https://www.pinterest.ca/fionadobson22
Some of you know that I love to hang out on the site some days and use our chat functionality to chat with members. If you see a chat window come up when visiting http://FionaDobson.com youâll know itâs me on the other end. Feel free to join me there. I usually go on in the mornings for a little (Pacific time) and the evenings.
Now, I must get back to looking after life in Huckleberry Close. Some of you will know I am very much a caring soul. I will not use the word âhealerâ, but I do feel I have a special power. Anyway, Amanda my wifeâs awful friend, has been having trouble with her pussy. Iâve said I will go over and lay my hands on it to transfer positive energy from Hannibal, my dachshund. I am good with animals. Between you and I, itâs probably diet. I donât know what sheâs been feeding that thing!
Have a lovely weekend,
😊
Fiona
PS â my musical selection this week is for all my closeted members.
The Crossdresser’s Guide To Marital Bliss is a series of episodes taking a hilarious look at how one crossdresser brought his wife to a place of understanding and acceptance. It’s also instructive and full of good advice to those of us who wish to introduce our dressing to the principal relationship in our life. I hope you enjoy it. Get all episodes here.
Fiona
Part 1.
I sat in the garden enjoying the cool spring breeze.
Sylvester crossed the lawn carrying a tray of tea and ginger biscuits.
âIâve just had yet another experience with one of my members
that leaves me feeling quite sad,â I said as Sylvesterâs ham like fist gripped
my delicate tea pot and poured.
âWhat was that, then?â he asked.
âWell, I had this chat with another member who just felt he
couldnât talk to his wife about crossdressing. I mean, really, itâs awful. So
many of my lovely gurls are out there and barely even able to talk to anyone.â
âBut thatâs what youâre here for,â said Sylvester.
âWell, yes,â I replied. âBut there are certain things that a wife can do that even I may struggle to!â
There was a steady stream of water falling between Ali, my Syrian gardenerâs legs.
âAli,â I said. âWould you mind telling me what youâre doing?â
âAh, madam. Iâm watching Maxâs premature ejaculation. He did it for his motherâŠâ
I paused. Iâve learned thatâs a good idea with Ali. Iâm never quite sure if heâs serious, or just confused.
âHis water hose⊠Heâs got it hooked up to Google â that online house thing. It waters the flowers. Well, drowns them actually. Itâs coming on prematurely and the water pressureâs too high.â
âI see,â I said. I decided I had better talk to that English teacher of his.
âI prefer to use a more natural method such as this watering can, madam,â he said as he continued to water the flowers.
Itâs been a strange week. Sylvester had a couple of his Navy friends staying. Billy Bates, a Quartermaster on a missile cruiser, and his friend Simon Steyns. Simon was recently demoted back to Ordinary Seaman following a nasty shoreside incident involving another member of the crew and a very worried looking hamster.
To round everything off Amanda brought her sister over and her revolting daughter. Chelsea, Amandaâs elder sister doesnât approve of Amandaâs relationship with Marjory. She sayâs itâs against God. I have to say I told her that Amanda is against God. I mean really! What immortal hand or eye would frame that fearful symmetry⊠urgh.
Chelsea Chizit and her daughter Emma are cut from the same cloth. Theyâre the sort of uncultured slobs that know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
It’s the perfect time of year to get into Pink!
And to top it off Max is besotted with Emma. To be fair, she is not entirely unpleasant to look at as she glides around the garden half naked in the sunshine, like some sort of fae. Yet Max just stares slack jawed and drools. Itâs most disturbing. He wanders around moony eyed murmuring âEmma Chizit⊠Emma Chizzit.â
âAli,â I said as firmly as I could, âDo you happen to know if Amanda is next door visiting Marjory?â
âOh yes,â he said. Not much gets passed Ali. He knows the comings and goings of most of Huckleberry Close. âShe wrist deep in âŠâ
âAli!â I said firmly.
â⊠in tomatoes. Theyâre canning the tomatoes she grew in her greenhouse. Making sauce…â
As everyone starts to get back to something approaching normal I am delighted to say I am enjoying occasional days like this where friends visit and life seems almost as it did before this infernal pandemic.
I am pleased to say I am double vaccinated, as are most of my friends. I hope you are to, and I’d encourage you to get it done as soon as possible, for your own good and the good of all those around you.
I hope you’ve been enjoying The Dating Game by Mollie Blake. It’s been featured this last few weeks on the website, Remember there always new content on the site, and I do get on now and then to chat with my members on the web chat functionality. If I happen to be on when you are there, be sure to say hello.
What could be a nicer color to celebrate summer. Check out this spectacular swing dress for just $31.99.You going to look delightful. Check it out here – https://amzn.to/3iq4a2v Fiona
It’s up to us to live to a higher standard than others.
With Sebastian strutting around in his cycling shorts, and Auntie Kittie coming over to offer me some of her specially imported organic coconut sunblock, anyone would think that going outside in this glorious weather is some sort of sin. However, it is important to look after ourselves in this extraordinary heat.
It is more important than ever to moisturize â personally I like a nice aloe based moisturizer â and also to drink plenty of water. Adding to this a good quality sunblock is a wonderful idea. I have started working early in the day and having a break by the time the day is hot, then going back to my endless labours in the early evening when the day is cooler. Itâs a slightly different regime, but one I learned while living in the hottest parts of Africa. There is no point getting over heated and having headaches and the misery of sunstroke.
This stunning weather does give us the opportunity to wear some suitable clothes that are perfect for the twenty-first century crossdresser. Swimshorts, a tee shirt and a pair of sandals. Add lipstick and a little eye makeup and youâre there. You may not quite be Daisy Duke, but that is all a bit 1970âs anyway. Iâm not sure Daisy would quite work today, sliding across the bonnet of an electric vehicle and roaring off down a country road listening to Taylor Swift. Nor can I see Sheriff Roscoe taking gender sensitivity training and a course in critical race theory.
I was discussing this with Sylvester this very morning. I explained how today we are all more âwokeâ.
âItâs all those energy drinks,â he replied.
âWhat?â I answered feeling like one of us was losing their grip.
âThe caffeine.â
âOh, no,â I said. âWeâre more âwokeâ, not more âawakeâ. Besides I donât even touch those things. Theyâre bad for you.â
âI donât get all this âwokeâ stuff,â grumbled Sylvester.
âAs far as I can make out, it means weâre more aware of racial issues. And gender ones. And age ones. And some other things.â
âYou mean weâre more considerate?â
âI guess,â I replied.
âThat reminds me, there was something I wanted to talk to you about,â went on Sylvester.
âGo ahead,â I replied, ever my helpful self.
âHave you ever been hit on by someone in authority? I mean, I know youâreâŠâ
âYes,â I replied expectantly.
âYou’re not like some other people,â said Sylvester awkwardly.
âYou mean I have tits, wear lipstick and have a dick? Yes. I am slightly different, but thatâs no oneâs business but my own,â I replied enjoying Sylvesterâs discomfort.
âWell, I know this is a difficult subject, butâŠâ continued Sylvester squirming.
âSylvester, this is me. You can talk to me about anything.â
âI wondered if youâd ever been hit on by anyone who was your boss, or something like that.â
I must admit I was intrigued by Sylvesterâs line of questioning.
âWell, thereâs been one or two incidents. Iâm pretty abrasive with people that I get a confrontational vibe from, though.â
âItâs just my brothers teenage daughter got hit on by her boss at the store she works at,â I wondered what you thought about it.
I was a little surprised, mostly that any employer could be so stupid.
âItâs a horrible fact, and one that many men donât understand, but as I understand it many women do get unwanted attention at work. We sort of assume it doesnât happen, but it does. Actually, it happens all the time. Now, having said that, most young women do learn to deal with it. I know itâs wrong that it would be that way, but many women just deal with it. However, my best advice is to get her a good lawyer, and then have her choose a nice Caribbean island to go and visit with the settlement that is likely to follow.â
âI was shocked,â said Sylvester. âIt was all so âlow levelâ.â
âWhat do you mean,â I asked.
âWell, he just approached her and asked if sheâd go for a drink,â said Sylvester.
âUnfortunately thatâs often the way these things do look. Somewhat harmless and low key. But then, when itâs time for her review sheâll find that the colleague that went out for that drink does a little better than she did. Itâs horrible, and itâs insidious,â I said and paused. âItâs a weird thing. Itâs easy to see abuse when itâs obvious. When itâs subtle itâs more difficult. And you know what? As a person who has lived much of their life âin trousersâ it has never happened to me, at least not as a teenager. So I can never say Iâve lived through that kind of subtle abuse.â
âWell, Iâm glad Iâve not been bullied like that, however subtle it may have been. But to be honest, I canât say Iâve lived the âfemale lifeâ in that sense. I think this is a difficult area for many people who identify as female. The fact is Iâve been fortunate enough to have many advantages of being male. Having said that, it didnât feel that way when I got a beating or two for being too girly for some people. My journey has different struggles. But I sympathise and I see how unfair it is on young women.â
âAnd this happens a lot?â
âIt happens all the time, which is why we have to be so supportive of young women who are taken advantage of. Iâm fortunate enough to work at an agency where even a hint of such behaviour would have the senior person fired and escorted out of the building before their feet touched the ground. People who act like that are a liability to the company, as well as being bullies.â
âWell, it doesnât happen in my business,â said Sylvester a little defensively.
âI should hope not,â I replied. Itâs worth noting that Sylvester runs a workshop servicing vehicles and has a fairly mixed group of employees.
âAnd it never happened to you?â he continued.
âOh gosh, no,â I sighed. âI thought it might when I was at summer camp once, but the camp counsellor found out I was trans and then wasnât interested.â
âHuh,â said Sylvester with a puzzled look on his face. âIâm not quite sure what to make of that.â
âYes,â I replied. âThatâs what he said.â
Stay hydrated and enjoy the sun, and remember, itâs not just the climate thatâs changing.
After I opened up my computer two things immediately caught my attention. The first was a delightful email from Kay Lee, who sent this lovely picture. I’m sure you’ll agree she looks delightful.
