Tag: Travel

This will seem a little self indulgent, but it’s something I feel I should share. I have observed an unusual shift in the way I feel about myself as I walk further down this transgender path.

At moments in which I’ve felt the disapproval of others I have chosen not antagonise anyone. I find rudeness is rarely a solution to anything, and if my appearance offends someone I generally choose to retreat a little.

I have contained myself a little and I fall into a more androgenous behaviour. I generally feel the desire to appease rather than confront. However, recently my perspective on the question of presentation has shifted a little.

Recently I was in a bar with a couple of friends enjoying a beer. I glanced across the bar room and noticed a trip of young men looking in my direction. I wouldn’t describe their attention as exactly hostile, but it certainly was ‘something’. But who can guess what is in someone else’s mind?

I found my immediate reaction was to look at my reflection in a nearby window. Were my forearms looking a little too masculine? Was I appearing a little too masculine?

Swiftly my thoughts shifted, though, and I found myself thinking I wanted to present in a more feminine manner. In other words I wanted to push the needle further to the feminine side of the gauge. I felt no desire to retreat into the androgynous space.

I’ve become aware that as I progress further in this transgender journey the desire has become to dress better rather than to dress in a less confrontational manner. And of course, the dressing is merely the aesthetic. An expression of who I am, rather than actually ‘who I am’.

It really comes down to my simple acceptance of myself. I am what I am.

I really don’t wish to force that on anyone. However, I am not responsible for others discomfort. They own that.

While I won’t intentionally antagonise others I do have a right to be myself.

And the three young men? Well, they certainly weren’t rude to me. Perhaps their attention wasn’t so malevolent, after all. Instead I chose to think that it was nice to be noticed.

A few moments later a drink arrived at our table courtesy of the young men across the room. It just goes to show, first impressions can be wrong.

Fiona

I do love to travel. So much so, that when a friend invited me to travel to Curatiba in Brazil I was not going to turn down the offer.

So here I am in the south of Brazil, in what to me is a rather unusual AirBnB — but something that is very common here. It’s basically an entire tower block turned over to AirBnB accommodations. I’ll describe this in another post later, but it’s quite remarkable. I think it’s what happens when there’s little in the way of regulation around this type of accommodation.

The rooms are small, they have a basic kitchen and a bathroom. Travelling with Sylvester, the bathroom arrangements are rather important. The fact that the place is so small is a concern. To put it delicately, after a visit to the bathroom by Sylvester, there’s what is best described as an environmental hazard for some time.

Sylvester, bless him, had bashfully suggested buying a scented candle, however there really is only so much one can ask of a candle. To be quite honest I also feel disinclined to have a naked flame around at a moment like this. Unusual as it may seem, our bathroom seems to have two doors, one opening inwards and another opening outwards. I can only put this down to a serendipitous choice buy the management to limit the blast radius from Sylvester’s bowel movements.

Continue reading “Seal the blast doors.”