There’s a rainbow of colors out there when it comes to crossdressing, and gender queer ideas. However, one question that is often asked is, ‘Is this a choice?’ It’s a pretty reasonable question.
I chat a lot online and talk to many of my members. Among those who are just exploring this side of themselves for the first time, this is a huge question. On the one hand they do want to dress, and allow themselves to be more feminine. However, they also feel a sense of guilt and shame. So, can’t they simply choose not to do this?
I’ve thought about that one long and hard. I sincerely believe that if we live our authentic life we have no need to feel any sense of shame. I temper that with the idea that we try to take into account the sensitivities of others around us. That’s just being a decent human being. We don’t need to force our personalities on others. We’ve got nothing to prove.
While it’s not the same for all of us, I think it fair to say that when we suppress the feminine side of our nature we stifle ourselves. We deny ourselves a large part of who we are. The reason so many trans people develop depression and anxiety is, I sincerely believe, linked to the fact that pretending to be someone other than the person we are is quite literally exhausting. And most of us do this the majority of the time. It’s only when we choose not to pretend that we start to accept ourselves and flourish.
So, it’s only a choice in the sense that we choose to stop pretending. We start to accept ourselves. And then we start to live as we truly are.
Let me know how you’re doing.