The door closed behind Veronica and I was left throbbing, and wondering what had just happened. Or ‘not’ happened. I wasn’t sure if I should be angry or feel a sense of excitement. As the clack clack of her heels receded down the corridor I was left feeling empty.
I sat on the edge of my bed staring at myself in the mirror. As I did so I remembered that I’d never felt quite like this when dating women. I wondered, “Is this how a woman feels when she’s been left hanging?”
What a strange experience it was. Feeling the need for sex, being aware at a very basic level that completion was imminent, and then coming to the cold steel clad conclusion that no such completion was even possible. The cage enclosing my penis was a barrier nothing could get past. Only a keyholder could give me what was so desperately needed.
I glanced at my reflection. It seemed my shoulders were less full. I had quite a pretty waist, I noticed.
Still feeling unfulfilled, I got to my feet. As I did so I smiled, noticing how my reflection was positively girly.
A nice little waist, bending over the back of a chair wearing these heels. Yes, that was quite sexy. I wondered briefly how my body had adopted this shape so naturally, but gave the thought little consideration. It struck me that as I was wearing so many feminine clothes these days and I was thinking in such a feminine role, it was hardly surprising my body was adapting. After all, doesn’t the mind dictate how the body functions?
“Feminine mind, feminine body,” I murmured as I pulled on some panties, and a skirt. I selected a blouse and went to the kitchen. Perhaps my sense of frustration would be eased with a cup of tea.
It was three days, an agonizing three days, before I next heard from Devina. I was at the office at the time, feeling awkward in man clothes. I felt poor Steven should at least see me around the office from time to time even though I felt anything but interested in the company at present.
I would have been much happier reading a copy of a fashion magazine than inspecting the creative for the latest account we’d won. The business arrangement with our partners in San Francisco had resulted in a string of new accounts. Steven was delighted with the fact I’d brought in those accounts, but also puzzled about why I managed to attract so much business. At the time we were starting a brainstorming session to around the naming of a new company entering the optometry market. We were often asked to help with such projects, corporate identity being so key these days.
I’d made a point of trying to be a little more visible in the office, apart from anything else I was about to take a week or so off. I felt I needed a holiday to try and stabilize my life. I made a note to send an email to Steven letting him know I would be taking some time away.
The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster. My mind, not to mention my body, was in a state of upheaval. As I looked down at the way my shirt seemed to bulge outward at the chest in a way I’d never really noticed before, I thought how wonderful it would be to have breasts. Even relatively small ones. Looking across the boardroom table I discretely glanced at two of the female staff, noting their busts. ‘Yes, a nice medium sized rack, just like Maureen over there,’ I mused in my mind. Well, perhaps just a little bigger.
Glancing down at myself again it struck me that this shirt really was a little tight. I absently brushed my nipples with my hand and found them more sensitive than I expected. Running my fingers over my chest I felt a definite shape of breast tissue. The thought, while puzzling, gave me a sense of excitement and satisfaction. I guessed my body really was beginning to change to match my mind.
With an enormous effort I brought my attention back to the meeting.
“Their big thing,” said Steve to the assembled creative team, “seems to be that they stay open late at night, so people can get appointments after work.”
“That sounds like good customer service. Perhaps we should focus on that,” said Sven, our newly hired creative director.
“So, suggestions for a name?” asked Steve, and looked around the boardroom table.
There was an ominous silence. When you have six people in a room, all being paid substantially above market rate you don’t expect silence.
An intern mumbled something, and I said “Speak up, lad.”
“’I-Late’, it might work…” said the embarrassed young chap.
“Not bad,” I said being kind. Still silence reigned. Steve looked at me nervously.
At that moment my cell vibrated in my pocket. I glanced at it and saw it was Devina asking me to call immediately. My heart pounded. Perhaps she wanted to meet.
I felt my pulse race. Maybe at last Devina had come around to me. I had to get out of this meeting.
And this is how advertising legends are made. I looked around the boardroom table, and sighed. In my mind I was imagining myself in a nice little Channel suit, stockings and heels. Oh, how wonderful that would have been. Still holding that image in my mind I rose to my feet.
I looked directly at Steve and said simply “Speculate”, then turned and left the room, a gaggle of open mouthed overpaid staff behind me.
Closing my office door I dialled Devina’s number.
I had no idea why Devina wanted me to meet her down by the old docks. She said she had an errand to run and that she’d like a little help, and wondered if I might be free to give her a hand.
Perhaps I was deluding myself, but I knew Devina had no end of people she could call on to assist her and so this explanation was a mere excuse. She obviously wanted to see me for something altogether more personal.
How like her to pretend she needed a little help rather than express her true desires. After all that would imply some weakening of her resolve to be so very much in control. I suppose for people who are always in positions of power, the admission of having more tender feelings toward someone who is physically and socially more submissive is a hard thing to accept. Opening up to others is, after all, to make oneself vulnerable. That was something I doubted Devina would ever do lightly.
Devina must have weakened and was obviously asking me to see her to move her relationship with me from being one of dominance and, well, ‘humiliation’ seems too strong a word for it, to a relationship based on friendship, mutual admiration and shared interest. It was not surprising really. After all, I’d proved myself very respectful, kindly and open to her shifting moods and demands. I supposed that this was exactly how relationships evolved in this rather kink laden situation that had developed.
I shifted a little awkwardly as I hurried through the traffic headed for the waterfront. The cage was sitting a little awkwardly. I smiled to myself. Soon I’d be free of that damned thing forever. I smiled as I cut through the traffic. Yes, things would soon be rather different.
In an inspired moment I pulled out of the traffic into a parking lot, and taking a small valise from the back seat of the car pulled out a pair of slim high waisted jeans, and heels. I ditched my office jacket, and being sure not to be seen slipped out of my pants and pulled on the jeans. I took the heels from the valise and after stepping into them freshened up my face with a crimson lipstick and a little foundation. How swift I had become at putting on eye makeup. The eye shadow and a little mascara made my eyes pop nicely.
Yes, Devina would like the look.
I pulled up beside Devina’s Lexus at the appointed place. There were several small vessels alongside the dock and I could see this was part of the inland cargo area. These were small cargo freighters plying their trade to the Great Lakes and the Mississippi river systems. It was not really a part of the city that had ever come to my attention, and I looked at the vessels with interest. I wondered what business Devina could possibly have down here.
I stepped from the car after checking my lipstick. Devina looked magnificent in her little black suit. Hardly what you’d expect in a dockyard.
She walked toward me and smiled, then said, “You look very nice, Andrea.”
I know I blushed a little as she said it, and I dropped my eyes to my feet.
“I’d like you to help me get something from one of the ships. Let’s go aboard and see Captain Dryden. He’s brought something here for me,” she said.
With that she turned on her heel and walked toward one of the freighters. There was a gangplank which I walked a little unsteadily up, the heels nearly betraying me. Devina clearly knew the way and stepped directly up a short ladder to the bridge. I glanced up, seeing the tantalising top of her stockings as she negotiated the ladder. I sighed a little involuntarily. Soon my face would rest against those thighs, and I’d be satisfying Devina in ways I had previously only dreamed of.
I followed Devina up into the tiny bridge. There was barely room for three of us and it was hot in the cramped space. I removed my jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. As Devina and the captain talked I opened the door and stepped out onto the wing of the bridge. From here I had a spectacular view of the waterfront and enjoyed the fresh air.
Devina discussed a few things with the captain, though I couldn’t really hear the words as the door swung closed while I was enjoying this unusual view of the city. How professional she seemed. A women in control. I smiled to myself, thinking how my affections had overcome her defenses. Of course she wanted me to help her on this dreary afternoon. Being close to someone you have affection for, secret or otherwise, is always nice.
The world seemed like a beautiful place in that moment. I sighed, thinking how much I loved the look of these jeans and heels. It was hardly surprising I’d found my way into her heart.
After a little while Devina concluded her business on the bridge and with a smile motioned me to return with her.
As entered the bridge the captain glanced at me and said, “You’d better get down to forward locker number 3. Everything you need will be there.”
He seemed a little cool, I noticed. I wondered if perhaps my appearance was not to his particular liking. Well, not to worry. I don’t expect everyone to open their hearts to me on first acquaintance.
“Come along, Andrea,” said Devina. “Let’s get below.”
I followed Devina along the narrow passages below deck. Clearly she knew her way around, which was a little surprising, but then my Devina was full of surprises. I found myself smiling once more, thinking about what surprises might lie ahead for us both.
At length we found a large door which was marked ‘Fwd.Lkr#3.’ Hardly erudite, but at least functional, I thought, and Devina pulled two heavy levers and the door swung inwards.
“I’ll need your help in here,” she said, stepping aside.
As I maneuvered past her I felt my body press against hers in the narrow space. She seemed to lean against me, and with a smile put her hand on my arm.
“Goodness, Andrea, it’s a little cramped in here, isn’t it?”
I smiled, realising this was what she’d wanted. I gently leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.
“Andrea!” she said, this time softly, all hint of dominance gone.
“Devina,” I said. “I…”
My words were cut off as she moved closer, and smiled. For the first time I witnessed the incredible softness of those eyes, and the gentle look that I had always known lay hidden beneath that titanium exterior.
As I kissed Devina I felt her press against me, then her hand moved to my face and she stroked my cheek. Her touch was electric.
“Oh, Devina,” I said softly.
She pulled away a little, smiled and then kissed me once more, gently and with feeling. My heart pounded and I felt I could sing.
I felt her hand on my chest, and then a sharp push. I almost stumbled, propelled backwards with unexpected force.
I watched in surprise as Devina grasped the heavy handle on the watertight door. In a moment all the looks of tenderness vanished. She leaned backward pulling the heavy door toward her and as I looked on, puzzled at what she was doing. The door at first creaked and then slammed shut, closing me into the tiny room.
“Devina?” I called wondering what new game this might be.
A moment past, and I could hear her footsteps retreating up the passage. Suddenly I was gripped by panic.
“Devina!” I shouted. “For God’s sake let me out.”
I reached for the cellphone in my pocket, and remembered it was in the jacket hanging from the chair on the bridge. I tried opening the heavy steel door, but the two levers that secured it were locked closed from the other side. In a futile effort I kicked the door, then turning to the tiny porthole in the storage locker I looked out at the rainy night, lights turned to spangled starbursts through the rain soaked glass. To my horror I caught sight of the gangplank being pulled aboard.
And there was Devina, stepping into her Lexus in the car park. She looked completely at her ease, while my mind raced. I tried to open the porthole, but years of paint and disuse had sealed it closed. A moment later I heard the pitch of the engine rise and the deckplates seemed to shake. The heavy clanking of chain running through the capstan followed. The sounds were close by, and I guessed that the space next to this storage locker must be the chain locker, used for the storing the mooring warps.
As I hammered on the door, shouting obscenities I found myself sobbing like a schoolboy who had got himself in trouble. My fists, bloodied and painful fell helplessly by my sides after a while, a little blood dripping on my lovely pale shirt. It would be hell to get out.
How could this be happening to me!Ready to become a Seahorse?