
Sylvester was already at my breakfast table as I hurried by to the laundry room. He’s doing some work caulking the tiles in my kitchen. I let him let himself in when he drops by early, as long as he puts the coffee on.
“Morning,” I said as I rushed by, late for a morning meeting at the office. In the laundry I grabbed a polka dot bra, and a pair of panties, then hurried back upstairs to dress properly. This happens to be one of my favorite bras. The HRT has helped my breast development nicely, and I like to feel comfortable.
When I came down to breakfast a few minutes later wearing a nice blouse and skirt, I noticed Sylvester looking at me disapprovingly.
“Well,” I asked. “What’s the matter with you?”
“I couldn’t help noticing,” he said, “that your bra and panties don’t match.”
As I poured some milk onto my muesli I gave Sylvester a disapproving look.
“If I want you to look at my underwear I’ll tell you so!” I said. I think you can see the kind of thing I have to put up with.
“I couldn’t help but notice,” he replied. At least he had the decency to look a little awkward.
“Anyway, so what if they don’t match?” I asked.
“It’s just that I always think of you being better organised than that. Besides I happen to know you spend a small fortune on lingerie,” he carried on. “And, I mean – it’s nice if it all goes together.”
“Sylvester,” I said patiently as I sipped my coffee, “there’s something you need to understand. And I say this as one who knows, if your girlfriends, misguided as they may be, are wearing matching bra and panties, then they’ve already decided you’re having sex that night.”
Sylvester looked blankly at me as the realisation that he wasn’t the one making the decisions slowly dawned on him.
“You mean, they decide before we even go out?” he asked.
“Yes.” I replied.
“But if that’s true, why do I have to do all the hard work, buying dinner and trying to get them in the mood?” he mumbled.
“Because we like that sort of thing. We like you to work for it,” I said and put my empty cup in the sink.
“You’re saying, I don’t get to make the decision? She’s already decided what we’re going to do?”
“Bingo!” I said.
As I hurried to the door and picked up my back-pack, Sylvester smirked and said, “So I guess you’re not getting anything tonight.”
You know, Sylvester really can be quite coarse.
As I hurried out the door I said, “So, now you know what I carry in my back-pack!”
But that’s not the main reason I’m writing tonight. I thought I would just remind my friends and members, with all the troubling developments we see around us today, we cannot change the things people expose us to, the terrible news, the erosion of rights, however we can change the way we respond to them.
As hard as it sometimes is, choosing not let ourselves feel despair or anger can help us. Choosing to calmly observe, keep our powder dry, and pick fights we can win is a wise path. Of course, the news organisations want you to respond to news stories. It’s their job to present news in a way that gets a reaction. Take a breath, step back and try not to respond. Yes, that does mean dumping some social media. It also means being very selective with your news sources. I always use Associated Press and BBC, their coverage of most news being relatively balanced. Don’t forget, our existence is resistance.
Have a wonderful week,
Fiona