Now, let me remind you precisely where we are. I found myself in my walk in closet, crouching down, in five inch heels. You can’t imagine how that hurts after just a few moments. Just feet from where I was, on the other side of the closet door, was Mandy (my girlfriend), who had arrived at my place and let herself in unexpectedly.
Through the louvres of the closet door I watched and my blood ran cold as I realised she was dialling my number. There by my feet were the trousers with my cell phone in the pocket.
In that moment time seemed to stand still, hanging in the air, like an unplayed note in a musical score. I held my breath
Mandy had returned from her overseas trip and I’d forgotten the date. It had crept up so suddenly and now she was back, standing in my bedroom, looking at a pale pink tee shirt and leggings that were strewn about my bedroom.
I saw the screen glow come on through the fabric of my trousers, and reached down in panic. I squeezed the side of the phone, and my mind racing, I reduced the volume. A moment later I felt the telltale vibration, which told me it was muted. I remained still, holding my breath. I could almost smell her perfume, as she stood just a few feet away puzzling about why my apartment would be empty. And whose clothes those might be. I could almost see the cogs in her mind going round and leaping to conclusions by the moment.
In the bathroom an extensive make up collection was in evidence, something that had grown from a few humble pieces to an extensive palette in recent weeks. My heart was pounding. How was I going to explain that? I felt seat trickle down my neck, and trace a down the centre of my chest. I would say ‘between my breasts,’ but that would be ridiculous. I didn’t have breasts! And yet, there it rolled.
My calves were on fire. I tried to remain still, but doing so in five inch heels is not exactly easy. It seemed my body was screaming to me, to sit down, or do something, but I knew so much as a footstep would give me away.
I do remember, even in that moment, considering that this really was a beautiful blue dress. And my lingerie, well! It was perfect. “If you’re going to get caught ‘Andrea’, you might as well get caught looking spectacular.”
That was odd. How long had I been thinking of myself as ‘Andrea’?
As Mandy walked slowly round my bedroom, clearly looking for clues to the owner of the feminine clothes, I pondered the thought that here I was, referring to myself as ‘Andrea’. That bitch Devina had a lot to answer for. I wondered when she would be dropping in again with her friend. He was an animal. It was amazing. Dwayne… Yes…
I got my thoughts together and did my best to ignore the developing agony in my legs. These heels were killing me. I could make out Mandy still searching the room. She began walking toward the closet and I felt my heart almost bursting. In a moment of inspiration I took my phone and with shaking hands dialled the apartment landline. It started ringing almost immediately.
Through the louvres of the closet door I could see her manicured fingers reaching for the door handle. Nice nail job. Her hand paused on the brushed steel and she turned, paused and decided to go to the telephone.
In that moment it seemed time suddenly returned to normal speed. I quietly kicked off my shoes and as Mandy reached the phone I hung up, and swiftly shrugged off the dress. As she spoke into the phone, I pulled on a sweater.
“Hello,” Came her voice from the living room. “Who is this?”
I could hear Mandy pacing. She hung up the phone and to my utter delight went to the bathroom, closed the door and presumably decided to have a pee after her long journey. I slipped the heels off and swiftly pulled on some jeans, over the lovely burgundy lingerie I’d been wearing, and then slipped out of the closet, quickly hiding the most obvious of clothes on display. I grabbed a blanket and pillow from my cupboard and moved like a well trained crossdressing ninja into the living room.
I glided silently across room, tossed the bedding behind the couch, then swung the door open and pretended to walk in from the corridor.
I noticed Mandy’s bags and then called out, “Hello? Is anybody home?”
I walked to the bathroom door, knocked and then said “Hello?”
“Hang on,” came the voice from within.
A few moments later the door opened. I stepped into Mandy’s arms, and giving her a kiss said, “Thank goodness you’re back.”
“What?” she asked aggressively. Resisting the hug I was giving her.
“I’m just so pleased to see you. You can’t imagine the time I’ve been having.” She seemed to soften a little.
“What do you mean?” she asked slowly, trying to hide that she realised something was afoot.
“Oh, it’s been terrible. My sister Jen’s been staying. Practically took the whole place over. She’s like a whirlwind. I’ve been sleeping on the couch half the week, and she never tidies up!”
“Oh,” said Mandy, looking a little less sure of herself. Her eyes glanced at the makeup in the bathroom. “She’s staying here?”
“Oh, yes. Just for a few more days.” I murmured as I held Mandy. I couldn’t help but think that the fabric of her blouse felt lovely. I thought it would look rather good on me, and caught sight of my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Yes, it brought out the color of my eyes nicely. I felt myself becoming excited.
“Well,” she said with an icy coldness. “That’s inconvenient. I had hoped I would stay over tonight.”
“Perhaps I could drive over to your place. We could stay there. It’s going to be more comfortable than the couch.”
I could see the conflicted look crossing Mandy’s face. On the one hand, what I’d said had the ring of truth, while on the other Mandy obviously smelled a rat.
“I suppose we could do that,” she said at last. “Why don’t you pick up Chinese on the way, and a bottle of that South African wine I like.”
I released a sigh of relief.
“Of course,” I said. “It’s so good to have you back. You have no idea!”
Now, if you’ve been reading these chapters diligently, you’ll realise that whilst Mandy and I had a good relationship, I couldn’t really describe us as lovers. I was a convenience for Mandy, as to a large degree, she was for me. I was a reliable and respectful participant in an exercise that provided us both with a pleasant diversion now and then, but one which was underpinned by mutual respect and kindness.
I knew that if “Mr. Right” walked into Mandy’s life, she’d drop me like a hot potato. However, in the interim we’d conducted a very nice dalliance, which we both enjoyed and benefited from. Perhaps this sounds a little cold. Keep in mind we were primarily focused on our work, and really didn’t have much time to socialise, and yet still had needs that had to be met.
Mandy, gently pulled away and then straightened her hair in the mirror.
“Ok, why don’t you get to my place in about an hour. I’m sure we can have a pleasant evening. It looks like your sister will have the place to herself tonight.”
With that she gathered her things and left, though not before noticing the bedding in the living room. It seemed to corroborate my story, even just a little. There remained an unspoken doubt hanging in the air. There are, after all some questions best left unasked.
As the door closed behind her I released a sigh of relief and fell back on the sofa. That was way too close. I resolved in that moment never ever to dress again. I must put this behind me once and for all. Whatever madness had brought me here had to end right now!
Slowly my pounding heart slowed. I began to feel a euphoric feeling of relief. How could I have let things get to this stage? Well, it was time to get a grip and move past this.
“Andrea,” I said to myself, ‘this is over!”
As I undressed and showered I considered this resolve to make some fundamental changes in my life. Of course I could do it. Yes, there was a small fortune in clothes in various places in my apartment, but that was no problem really. I guess we all go through phases, right?
I dressed in a simple pair of jeans, a very masculine belt and a sports jacket. Nothing in the least femme about this.
“Good,” I said looking in the mirror. “I’m back.”
As I turned from the mirror I checked out my ass. Pretty cute.
I grabbed my keys, and wallet and left the apartment. A quick stop for some flowers and Chinese takeaway. And then sex. That’s all she wanted from me, I knew that. Fine. I can live with that.
As the elevator doors opened and I walked to my car I noticed a van in the visitors parking. It’s lights came on and it pulled forward, perhaps someone was moving furniture in, or something. I walked toward my car, and I was vaguely aware as it pulled up beside me.
I glanced at the driver, realising the van was moving at walking pace beside me. I glanced at the driver, and thought for a moment, “That’s odd, it looks like…”
In front of me a slight figure stepped out from beside my car, and turned.
Devina! What the heck was she doing here.
The van stopped, the door opened and out stepped Dwayne.
“What the hell?” I said.
“Shut up,” said Devina.
I felt Dwayne’s strong hands on my shoulders, pushing me toward the van. The sliding door opened and my legs buckled and I fell inside, pushed by the forceful form of Dwayne. While I am not lightweight, I was no match for Dwayne’s trained and toned strength. I felt myself pushed, then pulled into the van, forced onto my back, and as Devina stepped into the passenger side of the vehicle and sat down, Dwayne held me firmly.
“Now, Andrea, you know you’ve been very bad. Not returning my calls, and generally avoiding me.”
“You’re insane.” I blurted out. Dwayne’s grip on my shoulders tightened and I felt my clavicle was about to snap.
“Oh, really! Don’t be so childish!”
“What the hell do you want with me?” I said through clenched teeth, the pain of Dwayne’s grip intensifying.
“Oh, nothing much. Just your loyalty.”
A moment later I found Dwayne straddling me, sitting upon my chest pinning me to the floor of the van. What followed I can only describe with a sense of confusion and shame.
Devina talked as she removed my belt, loosened my trousers and pulled them down. Each time I struggled Dwayne would squeeze my shoulder until the fiery stabs of pain were too much and I ceased my twisting in pain.
I felt Devina’s precise and small fingers around my genitals. I felt something cold. And a pinching sensation as I something caught me painfully.
“If you want this to hurt, you just keep on struggling. If you’re smart you’ll stay still.”
“Devina. What the fuck is wrong with you!” Again the pain in my shoulders as Dwayne applied more pressure.
A moment later there was a metallic snap and Devina said, “There. Now you’re nice and secure.”
She opened the side door, I felt Dwayne push me out on to the concrete floor of the parkade, and then watched as he climbed into the drivers seat.
From within the vehicle I heard Devina say, very calmly, “Now be a good gurl. I’ll be in touch.”
There followed a screech of tires and the van sped away.
I rolled over onto my back, pulled up my underwear, felling very strange, and then my trousers. As I got to my feet I was aware of something unsettling. Let’s just say ‘things weren’t hanging right’.
I reached inside my underpants, sliding my hand into the waistband of my jeans.
I felt the now warm steel of something around firmly secured around my balls and penis. I rushed to the elevator, and back to my apartment to see what the hell Devina had done.
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