Living the better life.

It’s up to us to live to a higher standard than others.

With Sebastian strutting around in his cycling shorts, and Auntie Kittie coming over to offer me some of her specially imported organic coconut sunblock, anyone would think that going outside in this glorious weather is some sort of sin. However, it is important to look after ourselves in this extraordinary heat.

It is more important than ever to moisturize – personally I like a nice aloe based moisturizer – and also to drink plenty of water. Adding to this a good quality sunblock is a wonderful idea.  I have started working early in the day and having a break by the time the day is hot, then going back to my endless labours in the early evening when the day is cooler. It’s a slightly different regime, but one I learned while living in the hottest parts of Africa. There is no point getting over heated and having headaches and the misery of sunstroke.

This stunning weather does give us the opportunity to wear some suitable clothes that are perfect for the twenty-first century crossdresser. Swimshorts, a tee shirt and a pair of sandals.  Add lipstick and a little eye makeup and you’re there.  You may not quite be Daisy Duke, but that is all a bit 1970’s anyway. I’m not sure Daisy would quite work today, sliding across the bonnet of an electric vehicle and roaring off down a country road listening to Taylor Swift. Nor can I see Sheriff Roscoe taking gender sensitivity training and a course in critical race theory.

I was discussing this with Sylvester this very morning.  I explained how today we are all more ‘woke’.

“It’s all those energy drinks,” he replied.

“What?” I answered feeling like one of us was losing their grip.

“The caffeine.”

“Oh, no,” I said. “We’re more ‘woke’, not more ‘awake’. Besides I don’t even touch those things. They’re bad for you.”

“I don’t get all this ‘woke’ stuff,” grumbled Sylvester.

“As far as I can make out, it means we’re more aware of racial issues. And gender ones. And age ones.  And some other things.”

“You mean we’re more considerate?”

“I guess,” I replied.

“That reminds me, there was something I wanted to talk to you about,” went on Sylvester.

“Go ahead,” I replied, ever my helpful self.

“Have you ever been hit on by someone in authority? I mean, I know you’re…”

“Yes,” I replied expectantly.

“You’re not like some other people,” said Sylvester awkwardly.

“You mean I have tits, wear lipstick and have a dick? Yes. I am slightly different, but that’s no one’s business but my own,” I replied enjoying Sylvester’s discomfort.

“Well, I know this is a difficult subject, but…” continued Sylvester squirming.

“Sylvester, this is me.  You can talk to me about anything.”

“I wondered if you’d ever been hit on by anyone who was your boss, or something like that.”

I must admit I was intrigued by Sylvester’s line of questioning.

“Well, there’s been one or two incidents. I’m pretty abrasive with people that I get a confrontational vibe from, though.”

“It’s just my brothers teenage daughter got hit on by her boss at the store she works at,” I wondered what you thought about it.

I was a little surprised, mostly that any employer could be so stupid.

“It’s a horrible fact, and one that many men don’t understand, but as I understand it many women do get unwanted attention at work. We sort of assume it doesn’t happen, but it does. Actually, it happens all the time. Now, having said that, most young women do learn to deal with it. I know it’s wrong that it would be that way, but many women just deal with it. However, my best advice is to get her a good lawyer, and then have her choose a nice Caribbean island to go and visit with the settlement that is likely to follow.”

“I was shocked,” said Sylvester. “It was all so ‘low level’.”

“What do you mean,” I asked.

“Well, he just approached her and asked if she’d go for a drink,” said Sylvester.

“Unfortunately that’s often the way these things do look. Somewhat harmless and low key. But then, when it’s time for her review she’ll find that the colleague that went out for that drink does a little better than she did. It’s horrible, and it’s insidious,” I said and paused. “It’s a weird thing. It’s easy to see abuse when it’s obvious. When it’s subtle it’s more difficult. And you know what? As a person who has lived much of their life ‘in trousers’ it has never happened to me, at least not as a teenager. So I can never say I’ve lived through that kind of subtle abuse.”

“But that’s good, isn’t it?” countered Sylvester.

“Well, I’m glad I’ve not been bullied like that, however subtle it may have been. But to be honest, I can’t say I’ve lived the ‘female life’ in that sense. I think this is a difficult area for many people who identify as female. The fact is I’ve been fortunate enough to have many advantages of being male. Having said that, it didn’t feel that way when I got a beating or two for being too girly for some people. My journey has different struggles. But I sympathise and I see how unfair it is on young women.”

“And this happens a lot?”

“It happens all the time, which is why we have to be so supportive of young women who are taken advantage of.  I’m fortunate enough to work at an agency where even a hint of such behaviour would have the senior person fired and escorted out of the building before their feet touched the ground. People who act like that are a liability to the company, as well as being bullies.”

“Well, it doesn’t happen in my business,” said Sylvester a little defensively.

“I should hope not,” I replied. It’s worth noting that Sylvester runs a workshop servicing vehicles and has a fairly mixed group of employees.

“And it never happened to you?” he continued.

“Oh gosh, no,” I sighed. “I thought it might when I was at summer camp once, but the camp counsellor found out I was trans and then wasn’t interested.”

“Huh,” said Sylvester with a puzzled look on his face. “I’m not quite sure what to make of that.”

“Yes,” I replied.  “That’s what he said.”

Stay hydrated and enjoy the sun, and remember, it’s not just the climate that’s changing.

😊

Fiona

Become a Patron!

What is my relationship with clothing as a transgender woman?

Hi Everyone, Welcome or welcome back! If you’re new here, my name’s Andy and I’m a transgender woman sharing my journey here on YT! I have to say that even though I’m not a fashionista, I do love clothes shopping and in making sure I look as good as I can. Clothes have been a part of my life forever… I mean, this is probably the case for everyone, but my relationship is complex to say the least. In reality there’s a lot more to say, but I had to try to limit myself to under 20 minutes.

If you would like to support my channel you can buy me a coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/transgenderpositivity

If you liked my outfits across the week, let me know and I’ll link you to the specific pieces, but many pieces are from Risk (https://www.riskmadeinwarsaw.com/en/). I really like this brand as the materials and colours are right up my street. I also bought some things from Cos, Arket, and H&M this week. I’m happy to do a ‘haul’ video, let me know 🙂

Reddit Turned Me Into A Woman…?

How did it come to this… We all were warned of the dangers of Reddit… I didn’t listen. I DIDN’T LISTEN! But really, learn the basic origins of my career, my old-person stories of ancient reddit, and my take on Transgender existence, evolution, and the freedom that occurs when shame is shed. It’s a wild ride.

Check Out more of my work (and extended videos) here: patreon.com/AlsoAshley

Or See All My Socials and the FORBIDDEN Sites here: https://linktr.ee/AlsoAshley

Oh no! Rainbow got served.

Hi,

Oh my goodness, the trials and tribulations of life! Poor Rainbow, she’s never had very good luck with therapists. One committing suicide might be considered bad luck, but two? I think it’s unheard of!

And this morning, just as she was getting ready to do a yoga class with me we were intercepted by a very sweaty young man who handed her an envelope and told her that she’d been served. Can you imagine? It seems her latest therapist has a better survival instinct than the others, and has served her a restraining order.

Poor Rainbow has been quite distraught since her girlfriend, Epiphany, went off on a cruise ship working as an entertainment director. She’s due back in port in a couple of weeks. I’m sure things will seem much better when she gets here. Thank goodness she has Sebastian and I to comfort her.

That, however, is not the main reason I am writing today. I just had to tell you that the latest episode of Clothes Maketh The Man has been released. You can find part 72 of Andrea’s ongoing story here – https://fionadobson.com/cmtm/clothes-maketh-the-man-part-72/

Enjoy the rest of your week,

Fiona.

Become a member!

The road to transition – With Jules Sandison.

How did I get here? A quick look at how some trans qualities emerge, and how that impacts life.

To see how things move from crossdressing to transition, have a listen to this video –    • From Crossdressing To Transition – with Ju…  

My transition story is only one, and frankly every story is different. I’d love to learn about yours. Tell me a little of your experience in the comments below. Jules.

Words never spoken by a father to his trans child.

If.

If you can keep your head when all about you

  Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all around you doubt you,

  But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

  Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated don’t give way to hating,

  And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;

  If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

  And treat those two impostors just the same:.

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

  Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

  And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

  And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings,

  And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

  To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

  Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

  Or walk with Kings and Queens and yet not lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

  If all friends count on you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

  With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

  And which is more: you’ll be a Trans, my son!

Rudyard Kipling – sort of.

It’s not about being less of a man – it’s about being a better person.

It’s always a pleasure talking online with my web visitors. I try to man the chat system at least three hours a day, and I’m always around on email.

Our Whatsapp Group for Elite Members is also a chat mechanism. Anyway, this evening I had a lovely first time visitor feeling a little ashamed as he’d never thought of himself having a feminine name. And yet they clearly wanted to allow this wonderful side of their personality to emerge. I am here for exactly this type of support.

One thing that got mentioned was, “Am I less of a man, wanting to do this?”

The answer, as so clearly demonstrated by Julius Braddock in An English Country Garden, is a resounding ‘No!’. If you read the remarkable story, you’ll see so very clearly that Braddock is no shrinking violet. As with so many of my members, Braddock is a person who has a developing personality, and a wonderful perspective on life. Be sure to have a read if you want an alternative view on issues of masculinity – and the development of the more complex person.

🙂

Fiona

Life ain’t easy for a busy transgender advertising executive.

As a busy transgender advertising executive I am constantly amazed at the amount of work I find myself doing. It is, however, nothing compared to what I would have to do to account for all the things that the American government lays blame at our feet for.

For example, according to the great and the wise that sit in the White House, I should by my age have spent millions in public funds on gender affirming care, carried out several school shootings, won and returned several Olympic medals for sporting events I cheated in, shared national secrets with our global enemies, crashed at least one military helicopter into a civil airliner, had several abortions, had at least one complete sex change at the great cost to the public purse while in prison, collected social security on behalf of my great great grandmother, who has been dead for 150 years, eaten my neighbours cat, faked climate change science and of course rigged an election.

All this while trying to stay on top of my gender transition and coordinate my wardrobe and trans a bunch of kids. It’s insane. I don’t think I’ve done even half of those things!

Fiona.

Are you sitting comfortably?

OK. Tonight an encompassing exercise is on the cards. I’ve got two videos for you to watch. They have been released within a couple of days of each other, but coincidentally have some fascinating overlap.

Take some time, make a cup of tea and sit down and listen or watch these two videos and you’re going to learn a lot.

Spoiler alert. If you’re in Ohio, by chance, immediately go to Leah’s video and be prepared to step forward. We need you.

Here’s the first video, by Lily Alexandre. You can support her content here – https://www.patreon.com/lily_lxndr

And the second is by Leah Passaniti. Please consider supporting her content here – https://www.youtube.com/@LeahPassaniti

If you’re feeling generous, you know where to find me, but to be honest at present I’m fine and I’d rather you put your dollars to either of these two creators who are doing such sterling work for us.

First Steps Into Transition – With Jules Sandison.

First Steps Into Transition – With Jules Sandison.

In this second part of a series about moving into a transgender life Jules Sandison describes how many of us progress in the first steps of transition, and what that really looks like.  We’re not all going to emerge immediately into a fully passable female body, or a female psychology. Far from it. 

This is a longer journey.

Enjoy this episode. Part one can be found here – https://fionadobson.com/from-crossdressing-to-transition-with-jules-sanderson/

Fiona

48PCS Pride Day Rainbow Pins – Love Gay LGBT Lapel Buttons – $11.99

I guess he didn’t know what sort of gurl I am.

I cut across the square and walked into the bar after work. I usually only come here at lunchtimes, the fish always being fresh and the salad light. I can come in here, have a quick lunch and be back at my desk within an hour easily.

In the evenings there’s a lot of people in from out of town, there being a large hotel next door. And there’s a fair crop of locals too. It’s quite busy after six. It’s surprising how crowded this lonely city can be when all the commuters go home.

I don’t think I’d seen this one before. Maybe I had but it didn’t matter anyway. It’s not like I go out looking for romance. But he looked interesting. He told me a name, and I just let him freestyle his way into my evening.

He bought me a few drinks, and started to get a little touchy feely. Well, it was ok. The bar was closing soon anyway.

I decided I’d walk home with him, his place wasn’t far from mine, and we’d part and he’d never know how different I am.

But that’s not quite how it went down. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it just gets more interesting.

We decided stopping at my place for a nightcap might be ok.  Why not? He leaned close as I fumbled for my keys, his breath heavy against my cheek. By the time I found my keys he was running his hands inside my jacket searching for my breasts

Continue reading “I guess he didn’t know what sort of gurl I am.”

Three things you can do with a cucumber this weekend.

“Look at that huge crack,” said Sylvester.

“I’m sorry?” I replied.

“In this salad bowl!” he continued. “I think you should use the other one.”

Sylvester is quite a distraction in the kitchen. I motioned him out of the way as I brought out my best salad bowl.  Now, I know you might be thinking, what brought on this bout of domesticity? It’s quite simple really, while I live in the beautiful Canadian city of Vancouver, my wife’s good friend (and the bane of  my life), Amanda, has asked me to research some fun dishes she might be able to make as tariffs kick in. Like I have all the spare time in the world, so why not, right?

“What do you mean?” I asked after she asked me to come up with something creative.

“Well, I like to cook with fruits in many of my recipes, like Kiwi fruit or banana, and under these tariffs they’re going to be hugely expensive.”

“But I thought the idiot said he would bring those products to the USA and grow them there,” I countered.

“Have you tried to grow a kiwi fruit in Ohio?” said Amanda. Well, she is sort of agriculture adjacent, being the editor of Pig and Pig Farmer monthly.

“I see what you mean.  I will come up with something,” I replied.

That got me thinking about cucumbers. I realise this is an under-utilised vegetable – or fruit if you prefer.  Surprisingly I think it is actually both a fruit and a vegetable. You might wonder if this is possible, however, if you met Sylvester you’d understand how something can be both a fruit and vegetable simultaneously. And, yes, he is pretty under utilised, too.

So, I dug into my recipe book and found a lovely preparation I used to get ready for friends when I was a student.  It’s so simple that anyone can do it. As a (then) young man, I would impress girlfriends with my prowess in the kitchen. The Anthropology department girls certainly seemed to like it. Here we go:

You’re going to need the following ingredients –

1/2 cup rice vinegar.

1/2 cup granulated sugar.

1/2 teaspoon salt.

2 large cucumbers.

2 green onions, trimmed and sliced.

Find a large salad bowl, preferably without a crack in it, and also a cup or small bowl. Into the small bowl put the vinegar, the sugar and the salt.  I sometimes also squeeze some lemon juice into the cup. Using a sharp knife (hide it after use if you have any suicidal friends visiting, like Rainbow for example), peel and then slice the cucumbers and dice the onions.  While you do so the sugar and salt will be dissolving into the vinegar. If it hasn’t dissolved well just give it a stir.

All you have to do now is put the cucumbers and onion in the bowl, add the vinegar solution and you’re done.  If you want to be extra fancy just add some crumbled feta cheese and halved cherry tomatoes. I guarantee any anthropology students will be all over you and praise your culinary abilities. It also works on wives of 25 years. Let me know how you get along with this.

Now, all I have to do is think of a couple of other things to do with a cucumber. I mentioned this to Sylvester, and – well – he really can be quite coarse at times!

Have a lovely weekend.

Fiona