Auntie Kittie believes all good sissies should have a uniform.

So much naughtiness among my nephews and nieces this week. What is a busy auntie to do?

Even young Gerald, usually so devoted, forgot to bring his swimming costume over when he and my nieces were going to play in the garden, and I was forced to have him slip into one of my daughter’s swimming costumes.

It was a tight squeeze, but he managed to get himself suitably arranged. Goodness, the things I am asked to do! Is there no lengths to which I will not go for my nephews?

I’ve decided they should all have uniforms to suitably remind themselves to be prepared in future. What do you think? A good idea?

Check out this delightful one and let me know what you think. Don’t forget, if you join me as Good Gurl member you’ll get my special diary and so much more for just $1 a month. Use the link below.

Living the better life.

It’s up to us to live to a higher standard than others.

With Sebastian strutting around in his cycling shorts, and Auntie Kittie coming over to offer me some of her specially imported organic coconut sunblock, anyone would think that going outside in this glorious weather is some sort of sin. However, it is important to look after ourselves in this extraordinary heat.

It is more important than ever to moisturize – personally I like a nice aloe based moisturizer – and also to drink plenty of water. Adding to this a good quality sunblock is a wonderful idea.  I have started working early in the day and having a break by the time the day is hot, then going back to my endless labours in the early evening when the day is cooler. It’s a slightly different regime, but one I learned while living in the hottest parts of Africa. There is no point getting over heated and having headaches and the misery of sunstroke.

This stunning weather does give us the opportunity to wear some suitable clothes that are perfect for the twenty-first century crossdresser. Swimshorts, a tee shirt and a pair of sandals.  Add lipstick and a little eye makeup and you’re there.  You may not quite be Daisy Duke, but that is all a bit 1970’s anyway. I’m not sure Daisy would quite work today, sliding across the bonnet of an electric vehicle and roaring off down a country road listening to Taylor Swift. Nor can I see Sheriff Roscoe taking gender sensitivity training and a course in critical race theory.

I was discussing this with Sylvester this very morning.  I explained how today we are all more ‘woke’.

“It’s all those energy drinks,” he replied.

“What?” I answered feeling like one of us was losing their grip.

“The caffeine.”

“Oh, no,” I said. “We’re more ‘woke’, not more ‘awake’. Besides I don’t even touch those things. They’re bad for you.”

“I don’t get all this ‘woke’ stuff,” grumbled Sylvester.

“As far as I can make out, it means we’re more aware of racial issues. And gender ones. And age ones.  And some other things.”

“You mean we’re more considerate?”

“I guess,” I replied.

“That reminds me, there was something I wanted to talk to you about,” went on Sylvester.

“Go ahead,” I replied, ever my helpful self.

“Have you ever been hit on by someone in authority? I mean, I know you’re…”

“Yes,” I replied expectantly.

“You’re not like some other people,” said Sylvester awkwardly.

“You mean I have tits, wear lipstick and have a dick? Yes. I am slightly different, but that’s no one’s business but my own,” I replied enjoying Sylvester’s discomfort.

“Well, I know this is a difficult subject, but…” continued Sylvester squirming.

“Sylvester, this is me.  You can talk to me about anything.”

“I wondered if you’d ever been hit on by anyone who was your boss, or something like that.”

I must admit I was intrigued by Sylvester’s line of questioning.

“Well, there’s been one or two incidents. I’m pretty abrasive with people that I get a confrontational vibe from, though.”

“It’s just my brothers teenage daughter got hit on by her boss at the store she works at,” I wondered what you thought about it.

I was a little surprised, mostly that any employer could be so stupid.

“It’s a horrible fact, and one that many men don’t understand, but as I understand it many women do get unwanted attention at work. We sort of assume it doesn’t happen, but it does. Actually, it happens all the time. Now, having said that, most young women do learn to deal with it. I know it’s wrong that it would be that way, but many women just deal with it. However, my best advice is to get her a good lawyer, and then have her choose a nice Caribbean island to go and visit with the settlement that is likely to follow.”

“I was shocked,” said Sylvester. “It was all so ‘low level’.”

“What do you mean,” I asked.

“Well, he just approached her and asked if she’d go for a drink,” said Sylvester.

“Unfortunately that’s often the way these things do look. Somewhat harmless and low key. But then, when it’s time for her review she’ll find that the colleague that went out for that drink does a little better than she did. It’s horrible, and it’s insidious,” I said and paused. “It’s a weird thing. It’s easy to see abuse when it’s obvious. When it’s subtle it’s more difficult. And you know what? As a person who has lived much of their life ‘in trousers’ it has never happened to me, at least not as a teenager. So I can never say I’ve lived through that kind of subtle abuse.”

“But that’s good, isn’t it?” countered Sylvester.

“Well, I’m glad I’ve not been bullied like that, however subtle it may have been. But to be honest, I can’t say I’ve lived the ‘female life’ in that sense. I think this is a difficult area for many people who identify as female. The fact is I’ve been fortunate enough to have many advantages of being male. Having said that, it didn’t feel that way when I got a beating or two for being too girly for some people. My journey has different struggles. But I sympathise and I see how unfair it is on young women.”

“And this happens a lot?”

“It happens all the time, which is why we have to be so supportive of young women who are taken advantage of.  I’m fortunate enough to work at an agency where even a hint of such behaviour would have the senior person fired and escorted out of the building before their feet touched the ground. People who act like that are a liability to the company, as well as being bullies.”

“Well, it doesn’t happen in my business,” said Sylvester a little defensively.

“I should hope not,” I replied. It’s worth noting that Sylvester runs a workshop servicing vehicles and has a fairly mixed group of employees.

“And it never happened to you?” he continued.

“Oh gosh, no,” I sighed. “I thought it might when I was at summer camp once, but the camp counsellor found out I was trans and then wasn’t interested.”

“Huh,” said Sylvester with a puzzled look on his face. “I’m not quite sure what to make of that.”

“Yes,” I replied.  “That’s what he said.”

Stay hydrated and enjoy the sun, and remember, it’s not just the climate that’s changing.

😊

Fiona

Auntie Kittie’s great big chest.

I’ve been sorting a few things out in my house for summer, and as I have no doubt you can imagine in this heat I’ve found a little help from my nephews helps a great deal. Moving some of the furniture to give my place a lighter and more spacious feel has made it so much nicer in the heat.

In my living room is my husbands old sea chest, one of my last mementos of the dear man. He disappeared in the south seas many years ago, though I don’t really like to talk about it. Needless to say, as a widow I do like to keep some of his things about the place, even if it has been 25 years since he went beyond his last horizon. I used to put a few photographs of him and his shipmates on it all arranged nicely in their frames, but they’re all packed away now.

“Goodness, Auntie,” said my nephew Gerald. “You really do have a big chest,” trying to move it.

“Ah, yes,” I replied. “And not so very long ago it was covered in seamen.”

Continue reading “Auntie Kittie’s great big chest.”

Auntie wants to know if you’ve been a good boy.

As my little nephew Gerald was helping me with a few personal tasks the other day I asked myself, I wonder how my favorite little sissy is doing? How are you getting along, ? I’m sure you’d just love to be in his place. Why just this afternoon he was helping me.

“That’s it, Gerald, stir it round and round the bowl. Faster. Here let me help you,” and to be extra helpful I stood behind him, my breasts against his shoulders as I reached around and vigorously stirred the cake mix. I really do work up a little sweat as I work away at it! It’s just as well I have a strong right arm.

Poor little Gerald, he’s quite overcome!

“Oh no!” I said as I lifted the bowl and placed it on the counter. “Some of the cake mix has dripped from the spoon right between my… my… chest.”

“Can I lick it,” asked little Gerald.

“Gerald!” I exclaimed. “Oh, you mean the spoon! Of course.”

After such a busy afternoon in the kitchen I think I’d better go and get a towel to clean up. After all, I want little Gerald to look forward to coming again and again and learning to help in the kitchen.

Join me for just $1 a month and I’m sure I can give you something special too! You may even want to join my Whatsapp Group and chat with other CDs and sissies, if you’ve not done so already.

Your favorite Auntie,

Auntie Kittie.

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Max’s choice of last words.

The other morning I walked into my kitchen and immediately knew something was wrong. I should explain that my morning yoga is a sacred time for me, and I let nothing interrupt it. I’m only ready to start the day once I feel grounded and settled.

I usually follow my morning yoga with some tea, and a piece of toast, so I was surprised to find a deputation of some of my team waiting for me as I entered the kitchen.

“An odd choice of last words, Max,” said Mistress Meg.

Max, Katia and Mistress Meg fell silent as I entered. I glanced at them, and walked over to the kettle and put it on. To say the atmosphere was tense was an understatement.

“Well,” I said. “What are you all looking so worried about? Has someone died?”

Max, who was backed up against the wall looking a little scared, was the first to speak.

“Meg wants to hang me up by my…” he faltered.

Then Mistress Meg cut in, “I want to hang him by his wrists and have Stacy give him a damned good strapping.”

Katia just looked angry.

“What on earth’s going on,” I asked. “Max, tell me what’s the matter.”

Now, perhaps you remember that Max is my neighbour’s twenty year old son, and looks after much of the technology side of the work I do. There’s a surprising amount of work running the blog. He also manages my Patreon and a few other things, including entering Auntie Kittie’s content. He’s our tame techie.

“It’s Patreon,” he said and everyone fell silent.

“Oh yes. They recently named me as one of their top adult writing creators, didn’t they?”

“Yes, they’ve done very well from your Patrons. You’d think they…”

“Tell her what they’ve done, Max. Stop blabbering,” said Meg.

Max, who by now was close to tears, turned to Mistress Meg and said, “You’re not the boss of me! I’m just doing my best. You can’t tell me what to do!”

Mistress Meg picked up a breadknife, rubbed her thumb against the blade and then said menacingly, “Odd choice of last words, Max.”

“I think perhaps we should all calm down,” I said gently. “Now, Max let’s sit in my study and see what’s the matter.”

I took Max through to my study, usually my sanctuary away from others, and sat him down on the couch. His eyes were brimming over, and a tear ran down his cheek.

“It’s ok, Max. Just tell me what the trouble is.”

“We’ve been kicked off Patreon. They say our content is too adult.”

“What? Make up tips and hypnosis?” I said looking a little shocked. “Or was it that joke you said I should take out?”

“You mean the one about stuttering?”

“Yes, where I said that jokes about speech impediments were a big big ‘no no’?”

“No,” he replied. “I pulled that out before we posted that piece.  It’s more Mistress Meg and Katia’s content. They say it’s too adult and they don’t want it on their servers. But that’s not the worst of it.”

“Really? What else is there?”

“We have hundreds of members there. And they’re not going to be happy. And Mistress Meg and Katia depend on the revenue from there,” he said clearly upset. “I’ve let them down. And I think Mistress Meg might want to do something horrible to me.”

“Mistress Meg does horrible tings to people all the time. It’s sort of her thing,” I said softly. “I won’t let her do anything to you, don’t you worry. She just want’s to look after the Seahorses.”

“I didn’t mean to get us kicked. Really. I thought we were ok, but they’ve just clamped down.”

“Don’t worry, Max,” I said soothingly. “We’ll take care of Patreon. If we have to be off it then I’m sure our members will understand. We got along just fine without Patreon before, remember? We’ll just have to accommodate the members on the website.”

I thought about it for a moment and then said to Max, “Mistress Meg is just concerned because her writing is more edgy. She probably thinks it really her fault.  None of this is anyone’s fault. Patreon are just trying to be careful.”

Max looked a little awkward for a moment and then added, “Well, there’s more to it than that. I was thinking of saying we should get off it anyway.  Some people feel it’s a bit of a scam. You should see the review of it.

“Well, if that’s the case then we should get off it anyway. They’ve done us a favor. I want the best for my members,” I said.

Max stared into he distance and then said, “I can build a membership system on the site. We can ask Patrons to switch over. That way you can chat to them when they visit the site, using that chat window you use some evenings.”

“I love chatting with them,” I said. “Now, I’d better go and calm down Meg and Katia. Don’t you worry about a thing. It’s not your fault.”

And with that I left and went out to the kitchen. It didn’t take long to calm down Meg and Katia.

“We’re just going to build a membership system on the blog instead,” I told them. “Besides that way we can service them much better. Patreon has never been that great. I know people can’t find half the content you write, because their navigation is so outdated.”

Katia cut in, “You’re right. Someone wrote to me the other day saying they couldn’t navigate properly in their app. Half the time it doesn’t work properly.”

“Now, let’s not be unkind to Max. He’s going to have our website updated in a few days with a bunch more content for our members and we’ll let everyone know exactly how to switch over to our website,” I said. “Besides, it gives us an opportunity to do more on the website itself, rather than someone else’s platform. We can do even more cool things for our members.”

And that’s why I’m writing to you today. This has given us the great opportunity to improve the way we serve up content. It’s also a heads up that Clothes Maketh The Man is soon going to be served entirely free. You probably know that the first 24 episodes are currently free, but that subsequent episodes have only been available on Patreon. Well, I’ll be making them freely available on FionaDobson.com in the next couple of days.

Now, if you’re a Patron you’ll need to subscribe to one of the services here to continue your membership – and I want you to know how very much I appreciate each of you that does so. And if you’d just like to support the work my little team and I do then you can simply join for $1 a month in my Good Gurls membership here. You know how very much I appreciate each and every one of my members, and over the years we’ve overcome hurdles like this plenty of times.

If you’d like to tell Patreon what you think of their decision to throw us off their platform, don’t let me stop you. You can email them here: platform-support+id1217903@patreon.zendesk.com – It won’t change their decision but it might remind them that they’re a bunch of homophobic self righteous dicks.

Don’t worry. This isn’t going to stop us delivering the very best crossdressing content, just as I always have. Now, I have to hide the cooking sherry. I can see Auntie Kittie coming up the drive, and if I don’t she’ll be here all night.

Have a lovely week.

😊

Fiona

Auntie Kittie’s Christmas Diary – 2020-12-24

I’ve popped over to Fiona’s place to give her my diary entry. As luck would have it she’s having a little soiree and the liquor cabinet is unusually accessible. I’ve just dropped in to give Fiona this message.

So, as you may have guessed I am back from visiting St. Bernedette’s School For Gurls. You know, I do love to travel to South Africa, and life in the Natal foothills is really quite lovely. It’s a little like going back in time.

The post is still delivered by the nice young postman, and I often ride into the nearby town of Jabulani on horseback, along with Jack the handyman at the school. Jabulani is about five miles from the school, and a lovely ride in the Natal morning sunshine.  The school has a small stable of a dozen horses. Every morning Jack and I would get some exercise taking one or two of the gurls and riding to town to bring back the fresh milk.

Those sultry mornings, with a little mist in the distance, climbing on the back of a well trained pony, and setting out across the veldt, it was quite beautiful. The gurls laughing and chasing along with me, Little Michaela, her ginger hair flowing behind her as we fly across the ground in the morning sun.  Quite serene. And Jack the handyman trying to keep pace. He’s a little older, of course and we have to wait for him from time to time.

Once in the nearby village we’d put a few cartons of milk in our packs from the store, and then race back to the school stables. And of course finally we’d help Jack off his horse.

It all seems a million miles away from the cooler weather I have come back to. And Canada is really much more modern and genteel. Things in South Africa seem so much more, I suppose the word is ‘primal’. Everything is more literal and immediate. So, when one of the maids came to me and said they didn’t know what to do about the schools pet dog, ‘Cesar’ chasing after the postman every morning I pointed out that the best way to deal with that would obviously be to neuter him.

Well, as I explained to the poor man later, I had been referring to the dog when I said, ‘neuter him’. These things happen though. Best to move forward and not get bogged down in the details, though I do have some sympathy for the poor fellow.

How lovely it is to be back, though. My nieces and nephews have offered to help me get my Christmas tree up, and I’m looking forward to standing on a chair as my nephew Gerald looks up at me as I place a fairy on the top of the Christmas tree. How well dressed this tree really is. I suppose I should now turn my attentions to young Gerald.

How very kind he is to help me get it up. I’m sure, given the opportunity, you’d do the same.

But now I have to give this account to Max, who is going to post it online for me.  He’s so much better at technology than I am. I shall go and sit on his knee and simper, it usually works with him, the little puppy! I’ll just stop off and refill my coffee cup with Bailey’s.

Merry Christmas from Huckleberry Close.

You’re favorite Auntie,

Auntie Kittie

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I’ve been fingered – Auntie Kittie.

How nice it is to be back in South Africa.  I am visiting St. Bernadette’s School For Gurls here, where I serve as a school governor. I am also taking the opportunity to help out in the school, as a lot of the staff have been effected by Covid.

I do hope this is finding you well.  If you’re being good for your auntie you’ll be taking a few precautions, wearing a mask as well as a nice pair of frilly panties. You know I like all my nephews to be well presented.  If you’ve not bought any yet, perhaps you should check out my page of goodies.  Have a look and see if there’s something suitable for you there. I think you’d look just delicious being a good gurl for me!

All the pupils here are out playing sports in the spring sunshine today. I do love it when they are out playing fields, and I get out my buns to give them all a treat between games. It’s so good to see them all playing together. I watched one of our most promising pupils, Amanda, beating off the competition to win the long jump. What a sight.

I do my best to keep all the scores tallied.

“Oh, auntie! You’re so good, always getting them down for us,” said Amanda just today, with a little snigger.  I can’t think what she found so funny.

Continue reading “I’ve been fingered – Auntie Kittie.”

As the counting continues Auntie Kittie urges calm.

What a very stressful few days it’s been. Just today I had one of the neighbourhood boys over while my delightful niece, Nancy and I arranged some flowers in my house. I do find it so relaxing to put out a few nice flower arrangements.

The children in Huckleberry Close seem to gravitate to my house, and the large garden I’m lucky enough to have. Fiona’s delightful gardener, Ali, has been helping me and cutting some beautiful blooms for me to arrange in the house. The unfortunate challenge of being so available to the neighbourhood children is that from time to time the rather revolting neighbour, Donald comes and plays in my garden. I try to be kind and even handed, but it’s really not always easy. I think all the children think of me as their personal Auntie.

It’s hardly surprising really. They love to come over and are sure to sample my pie, or anything else I put out on the kitchen table. I like to provide a nice spread. Some of the young boys just can’t get enough of it. I should be flattered I suppose, that they have such hearty appetites.

“Auntie,” said young Donald this very afternoon. “What’s an erection?”

“Donald, that’s a very unusual question. Now, let me see. Your mother should really talk to you about this, but when a man and a woman… No, when two people… No, when a small group of people of undetermined genders or something between genders…”

“Auntie,” said little Nancy jumping in and coming to my rescue between placing holly sprigs in vases I’d put out on the table. “I think Donald means, ’What’s an election?’”

“Oh, I see,” I said with relief. “Really? You don’t know what that is? Ok, let’s see. How can I explain? It’s something we do now and then to get rid of people who aren’t running the country the way we like it. For example, by locking up all the little children. Or making promises they don’t keep, or are generally doing things that are douchy and not representative of our values.”

“What are values, Auntie Kittie?” asked Donald.

“Don’t worry, Donald,” I replied. “I’ll let you know if you ever get any. We usually elect people based on policies, Donald. So, for example in Canada we believe in religious freedoms, freedom of thought and belief, and freedom of expression. You believe in freedom of speech, don’t you, Donald?”

“Well, I guess,” agreed Donald reluctantly.

“Well shut up then,” I said firmly.

“Tell him about the polls, Auntie,” piped up Nancy, always keen to be of help.

“I don’t trust the Poles,” said Young Donald.

“Don’t be so racist,” I said and cuffed him around the ear, before sending him off to the bathroom. “Be a sensible boy and be sure to wash your little hands after.”

Donald has a lot to learn in the hygiene department.

Nancy turned to me and said, “I’m not sure Donald quite understands about democracy.”

“Oh,” I said gently. “I’m sure he’ll learn. And then probably be thrown in a cell where he belongs, before dying alone in disgrace. Under the circumstances I think that’s not a bad outcome.”

“What do you mean, Auntie?” asked Nancy.

“Well, five hundred years ago we would have stoned him to death, in the time honored fashion. Under the circumstances, if I were Donald I would consider myself lucky.”

Don’t worry, it’ll soon be over. Let’s just stay calm, and choose an extra special pair of panties with which to celebrate as the tide of change flushes out the U-bend of the last four years.

Your favorite auntie,

Auntie Kittie.

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Check out Auntie Kittie’s buns.

Young Gerald’s helping Auntie Kittie in the kitchen. Can you imagine the mess as he creams her pie?

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Sylvester has entered me!

As summer gently shimmys toward the exit door, and fall gets in the queue to get into the club of the passing year, we’re slowly seeing the weather change. Even Auntie Kittie has started wearing a sweater now and then, a matter of considerable relief to Max, who types up her material.

Auntie Kittie is often surprised how quickly Max gets it up.

“Max is such a dear,” she said the other day. “I’m so grateful he’s so good at putting it in. He’s so thorough.” and then added as an after thought,”… and so quick.”

The poor 20 year old lamb goes the color of a beetroot when he’s embarrassed, and Auntie Kittie will say such things in front of Sylvester and Mistress Meg. And it was Sylvester and Meg who were sitting at my kitchen table this very morning. Sylvester was telling us how in these troubled times we should all be finding ways to lift our spirits. Instead of worrying about the Corona Virus we should be reaching deeply within ourselves and fostering our creativity. Meg was a little skeptical.

I’ve been doing that very thing myself. I’ve been doing a little embroidery, making some of my jeans look a little more feminine by adding a few little designs. It’s really very simple and gives even the most masculine of trousers a nice feminine touch. If you’d like to change your favorite dungarees from the farm yard, or even the ones you wear when cleaning out the slag from the iron foundry this will do just the trick. Even your most stylish denim pants can be personalised and uplifted – and we could all use a personalised uplifting of our denim clad butts, I’m sure you’ll agree.

I leaned over the kitchen table and turned to Sylvester and said, “What do you think of this?”

Sylvester looked at my jeans as I did so, and said, “That’s really very impressive.  I think I should enter you.”

“Sylvester, I…” but before I could speak he went on, as Meg looked on, arms folded and unimpressed.

“I should enter you in the embroidery competition. It’s part of the end of summer cultural fair at the recreation center.”

“Oh, really I don’t think so,” I said. “Most of the people entering are really rather older than I am. They’re quite a conservative lot. I’m really not sure what they’d make of me. I can imagine it would be like that poor South African athlete who they didn’t believe was a woman.”

Sexy jeans – just add heels.

Sylvester looked a little doubtful. “No, I don’t think it would be like that.”

Anyway that’s what I’m doing. Sylvester tells me he’s working on a book. The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Being A Complete Idiot. A catchy title.

“Are you writing it or reading it?” muttered Meg, ever the acerbic wit.

It turns out that half the people in this competition I’m now entered in are young arts students. I thought they’d all be doddery old buffers like Auntie Kittie’s father, who’s staying with her rather than going into a care home. These days that seems a rather good idea. The old fellow is about 150 years old and sits smiling looking into the far horizon. He seems a kindly old fellow, though the dementia is quite complete and he has little idea of what’s going on. He seems cheerful, though.

I said to Auntie Kittie, the other day when I was round there, “He looks like he’s fondly remembering the things he used to do when he was a young man.”

She frowned and agreed.

“Yes, you’re probably right. He’s remembering flying aeroplanes and bombing Germany. He’s always been a belligerent old bugger.”

I suppose we all have our own journeys.

Have a safe, socially distanced week. The Republican convention should provide a few laughs this week… urgh, I can hardly wait.

Fiona

Auntie Kittie is at it again.

As Gerald comes to camp in her back garden, dating site 40s is up to her old tricks. Will he manage to figure out where to sleep? Is he going to be ok in his tent, and will Auntie Kittie help him get it up?

You can find out in the latest edition of Auntie Kittie’s Diary on my Patreon today.

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Auntie Kittie’s Diary – 2020-06-13

I have always felt that the more time my nephews spend dressed in lovely girls clothes the more they behave in a polite, soft and gentle manner.  Isn’t that a nice thing to know? Of course it is.

Well, recently one of my nephews has had a visitor, young Donald, a really quite vulgar boy.  He seems to think it ok to push others around and one of my nieces recently came to see me about him. Annette told me he had been peeking in her bedroom when she was changing, which I found a most distasteful thing to do.  He’s also been picking on some of the other children in the neighbourhood.He also refuses to wear a mask, which I find extremely disrespectful. I am sure you’d agree, this is really not the way a young boy should behave.

“If he’s unwilling to behave like a nice boy,” I said to Annette, “then we can’t treat him like a nice boy.”

I thought about the situation for a moment or two, while offering Annette a small serving of frozen yoghurt.

Continue reading “Auntie Kittie’s Diary – 2020-06-13”