Auntie Kittie is riding ‘the cycle of abuse’.

Sylvester looked skeptically at the newspaper. He is one of the holdouts that do still read the physical paper, and his heavy knotted brow was twisted in concentration. His Neanderthal roots were showing.

“Did you see this?” he asked, while I was grinding the coffee.

“What’s that, Sylvester. The picture of Auntie Kittie’s niece in the Girl Scouts?” I replied.

“I don’t think that would make the pages of the New York Times,” he replied.

“Oh, I thought you were reading the local paper. Auntie Kittie’s niece Emma was in it. She got another badge. I think it was for fire starting, or gender awareness. Something like that.”

“She’s very proud of those girls,” said Sylvester. “But no. It’s this story. It says here that they’re making children have babies in Texas.”

“I hope the Girl Scouts down there are giving them a badge for teenage pregnancy,” I muttered.

“It’s this whole abortion issue,” he continued. “I can’t believe this is happening in the 21st century.”

“I can’t understand why anyone with either a daughter, a sister or a mother could possibly accept giving up the right to an abortion,” I said. “It’s like the whole world has gone mad.”

At that very moment I spied Auntie Kittie cycling up the road toward my house.

Sylvester glanced round and seeing her said, “Here she comes. She’s riding ‘the cycle of abuse’.”

“Why do you call her bicycle that,” I asked.

“Have you heard how it squeaks? She never oils it,” replied Sylvester, who is indeed of a mechanical bent.  He went on to say, “The last time that thing was lubricated they were still using whale oil.”

“Well,” I said taken aback. “I don’t think that’s a very nice way to talk about Auntie Kittie, Sylvester!”

You know Sylvester really can be quite coarse at times.

On a serious note, just keep in mind anyone who is aligning themselves with the denial of a woman’s right to choose, will be coming for us, too. It starts to make political decisions very simple. Whatever your past voting pattern, don’t be fooled into thinking this is your grand dad’s political environment. There’s already trans people out there fighting for their lives and loosing. Just ask Brianna Ghey or Nex Benedict.

I do hope you’re having a good week.  I am taking the time to catch up on a few things having been away for a little in Europe. A little what, you may well ask.  I won’t be answering that anytime soon! Let’s just say my body is feeling particularly tired, and like Auntie Kittie’s bicycle could indeed use a little lubrication.

🙂

Fiona.

PS. Don’t forget you can follow Auntie Kittie‘s misadventures by becoming a Good Gurl today, if you’re not already in that wonderful group.

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When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go.

Sylvester informs me that should I ever be caught in an avalanche, I should make a point of peeing myself, so I can figure out which way the gravity takes the pee, and then I will know which way is up, and which down.  As you know, Canada has been having some quite hard weather recently, and such pieces of information are very helpful to know.  However, I do have a problem with this.

First of all, I don’t think I’ll need any reminding to piss myself if I’m caught in an avalanche. I really don’t! Second, I’m not sure knowing which way is up is going to make a great deal of difference if I’m under a hundred tons of snow at the time.

Sylvester tells me there was one man who was caught in an avalanche in his car, and drank 48 beers while he was trapped in his vehicle which had been rolled over and buried under the snow. He arrived home later covered in urine and told his wife the whole story. Frankly I think he probably made the whole thing up. It sounds to me like a pretty good Friday night out after work at the advertising agency.

I am currently working on a very interesting report for the advertising agency called “Understanding Women Who Love to Feminize Their Men. The Dobson Report.” This will soon be available to my Seahorse members.  For those who join my Patreon at the $1 a month level I will make it available as well just for the next 6 weeks.  I should be complete with that report in about a week. So, there’s a great reason for you to either join my seahorse level, or my Patreon if you haven’t already done so.  In the meantime I want to thank all my Good Gurls, and my Seahorse, Unicorn and Premium Members. I couldn’t do what I do without your support.

And speaking of support, I have recently shelled out for a new phone for Auntie Kittie. She has one those fancy phones that are tethered to the wall to prevent them being stolen. She asked me to buy her a new one because something called ‘the rotary dial’ broke on hers. It all sounds far too technical for me.

Have a lovely week.

Fiona.

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Auntie Kittie is at it again.

As Gerald comes to camp in her back garden, Auntie Kittie is up to her old tricks. Will he manage to figure out where to sleep? Is he going to be ok in his tent, and will Auntie Kittie help him get it up?

You can find out in the latest edition of Auntie Kittie’s Diary by joining today for just $4.99 a month today.

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I’ve laid the table, now what’s next?

I really do enjoy having a few friends over in the evening. So it was that I found myself, just the other day, hosting a small party with Sylvester, Auntie Kittie, Sebastian, Rainbow and her new friend, Epiphany. Just use those links if you’d like to explore a little more detail of each of these great friends.

I’d prepared a small variety of dishes. You know how it is when you are taking into account the various dietary needs of people, I’m sure. When I had asked Epiphany what sort of foods she enjoyed she had informed me that she ‘preferred not to feast on the flesh of murdered animals.’

Epiphany is a very slight girl. I am sure she’ll become Rainbow’s lover. She has very small hands.

As Sylvester was listening to Rainbow talking about a flasher who has been frightening people in a local park, I put out the tofu drizzled with a peanut satay sauce.

“He was about average height and had a big coat. And I think he was right handed,” said Rainbow who didn’t seem the slightest concerned that she’d been exposed to in such a manner, when out for her evening run.

“How exciting,” I said. “And with all this cold weather, too!”

Epiphany and Rainbow, both choosing not to eat meat, were extolling the virtues of a vegetarian diet.

“I have often thought I should become vegetarian,” I said. “Though I really do enjoy seafood.”

Sylvester decided to chime in and added, “Fiona does love a winkle in cider now and then.”

I told Sylvester to shut up, you know he really can be quite coarse at times.

At this point Auntie Kittie chimed in that she thought everybody loves a well prepared bird on the table, “and honestly, girls, who doesn’t love a good stuffing?”

I gave Sylvester a sharp kick under the table as I saw his mouth open, but before he could make some crude comment. He muttered something about everyone loving a good sausage.

It’s such a good thing I always prepare a variety delights for my guests. I served the various dishes but not before suggesting to my assembled guests that they should be sure to leave a little room for desert. What a surprise it was for them when, after I cleared away the main course Auntie emerged from the kitchen and whipped out her dumplings covered in cream!

But that’s not the main reason I’m writing to you today. I am trying to build up my Patreon following. It’s an up hill struggle, but the more members I can grow there, the more content I can release. Your support is greatly appreciated, especially in these tough times. In case you don’t know you can support me there by subscribing for as little as $5, or if you choose to become one of my Unicorn level members you can get one of my famous ‘You want me to use which bathroom’ mugs. Who could resist such an offering!

Have a lovely evening,

Fiona

PS. Enjoy the video with Annie Lennox, Hugh Laurie and John Malkovich below.

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Auntie wants to know if you’ve been a good boy.

As my little nephew Gerald was helping me with a few personal tasks the other day I asked myself, I wonder how my favorite little sissy is doing? How are you getting along, ? I’m sure you’d just love to be in his place. Why just this afternoon he was helping me.

“That’s it, Gerald, stir it round and round the bowl. Faster. Here let me help you,” and to be extra helpful I stood behind him, my breasts against his shoulders as I reached around and vigorously stirred the cake mix. I really do work up a little sweat as I work away at it! It’s just as well I have a strong right arm.

Poor little Gerald, he’s quite overcome!

“Oh no!” I said as I lifted the bowl and placed it on the counter. “Some of the cake mix has dripped from the spoon right between my… my… chest.”

“Can I lick it,” asked little Gerald.

“Gerald!” I exclaimed. “Oh, you mean the spoon! Of course.”

After such a busy afternoon in the kitchen I think I’d better go and get a towel to clean up. After all, I want little Gerald to look forward to coming again and again and learning to help in the kitchen.

Join me for just $4.99 a month and I’m sure I can give you something special too! You may even want to join my Whatsapp Group and chat with other CDs and sissies, if you’ve not done so already.

Your favorite Auntie,

Auntie Kittie.

PS. Get more of my content HERE.

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Sylvester has entered me!

As summer gently shimmys toward the exit door, and fall gets in the queue to get into the club of the passing year, we’re slowly seeing the weather change. Even Auntie Kittie has started wearing a sweater now and then, a matter of considerable relief to Max, who types up her material.

Auntie Kittie is often surprised how quickly Max gets it up.

“Max is such a dear,” she said the other day. “I’m so grateful he’s so good at putting it in. He’s so thorough.” and then added as an after thought,”… and so quick.”

The poor 20 year old lamb goes the color of a beetroot when he’s embarrassed, and Auntie Kittie will say such things in front of Sylvester and Mistress Meg. And it was Sylvester and Meg who were sitting at my kitchen table this very morning. Sylvester was telling us how in these troubled times we should all be finding ways to lift our spirits. Instead of worrying about the Corona Virus we should be reaching deeply within ourselves and fostering our creativity. Meg was a little skeptical.

I’ve been doing that very thing myself. I’ve been doing a little embroidery, making some of my jeans look a little more feminine by adding a few little designs. It’s really very simple and gives even the most masculine of trousers a nice feminine touch. If you’d like to change your favorite dungarees from the farm yard, or even the ones you wear when cleaning out the slag from the iron foundry this will do just the trick. Even your most stylish denim pants can be personalised and uplifted – and we could all use a personalised uplifting of our denim clad butts, I’m sure you’ll agree.

I leaned over the kitchen table and turned to Sylvester and said, “What do you think of this?”

Sylvester looked at my jeans as I did so, and said, “That’s really very impressive.  I think I should enter you.”

“Sylvester, I…” but before I could speak he went on, as Meg looked on, arms folded and unimpressed.

“I should enter you in the embroidery competition. It’s part of the end of summer cultural fair at the recreation center.”

“Oh, really I don’t think so,” I said. “Most of the people entering are really rather older than I am. They’re quite a conservative lot. I’m really not sure what they’d make of me. I can imagine it would be like that poor South African athlete who they didn’t believe was a woman.”

Sexy jeans – just add heels.

Sylvester looked a little doubtful. “No, I don’t think it would be like that.”

Anyway that’s what I’m doing. Sylvester tells me he’s working on a book. The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Being A Complete Idiot. A catchy title.

“Are you writing it or reading it?” muttered Meg, ever the acerbic wit.

It turns out that half the people in this competition I’m now entered in are young arts students. I thought they’d all be doddery old buffers like Auntie Kittie’s father, who’s staying with her rather than going into a care home. These days that seems a rather good idea. The old fellow is about 150 years old and sits smiling looking into the far horizon. He seems a kindly old fellow, though the dementia is quite complete and he has little idea of what’s going on. He seems cheerful, though.

I said to Auntie Kittie, the other day when I was round there, “He looks like he’s fondly remembering the things he used to do when he was a young man.”

She frowned and agreed.

“Yes, you’re probably right. He’s remembering flying aeroplanes and bombing Germany. He’s always been a belligerent old bugger.”

I suppose we all have our own journeys.

Have a safe week.

Fiona

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Auntie Kittie is thinking about you!

Heavens, what is Auntie Kittie up to now? She’s so excited about the new content in her program I can hardly keep her from bubbling over with excitement. I know you’re going to love what she’s got to share with you.

As she often says, “I feel like I’m overflowing with fun things for the Good Gurls to do!”

I think I know what she means. I know she can help you up, in so many ways. Be sure to slip into her warm and welcome program. At just $4.99 a month I know she’ll be happy to come up with something special for you if you join as a good gurl.

Have you signed up for her special content? You can always join her free program below.

🙂

Fiona.

‘My boyfriend is a vet, but he’s recently started neglecting my pussy and using different pronouns!’

Sylvester was in my garden this morning enjoying a glass of my freshly made lemonade, hand squeezed and made from a recipe I enjoy.

“I do hope you’re like this, Sylvester, I juiced my lemons this morning especially for you,” I said.

Sylvester stared at my chest and then took another sip. You know he really can be quite coarse.

I do find fresh lemonade is a great way to refresh myself on these warm west coast days. Here’s a useful recipe if you have yet to make lemonade yourself. Now, I’m not saying Auntie Kittie has a problem with alcohol, but the moment I added a little gin to the mix her head appeared over the back gate to my garden and she gave a dainty wave.

“Is any body home,” she called out staring at the gin bottle.

And then she was in. Really, what can I do!

Not to be derailed from the job at hand, I sat the two of them down and told them of something that’s been on my mind of late. I am often asked by members and their wives, ‘does crossdressing mean I’m going to be a worse husband?’  I had one such discussion this morning with a member whose husband was, ironically, a veterinarian.

Auntie Kittie topped up her lemonade with a healthy belt of gin and turned to me and said, “Of course it doesn’t.”

Sylvester glanced at Auntie Kittie and thankfully kept quiet. She is an expert on marriage having had two husbands. Widowed twice by the age of sixty is by some measures, quite an achievement.

“My poor Willard used to love to wear a nice frock from time to time,” she went on. “Of course, he was a slave to his prostate…”

She left that one hanging in the air. I wasn’t quite sure how to go on from there.

Surprisingly, Sylvester chimed in, “didn’t I see some statistics recently saying that people who are in the non-binary category are 23% more likely than the other adults to own a dog or cat?”

“Yes, ” I said. “Max pulled up those stats the other day.”

“Well, that suggests they’d be more likely to be sympathetic. You know, having a slightly more gentle nature,” mused Sylvester.

I stared at him, and said, “Well, done Sylvester. I think you just made your first emotionally intelligent observation. I do believe you’re becoming more sensitive. There’s hope for you and all other Neanderthal men out there. Next you’ll stop trying to light your farts at the church picnic.”

Sylvester looked a little morose at this and muttered something about that only happening on the one occasion.

Have a lovely weekend.

🙂

Fiona

.

Auntie wants you to enjoy this hypnosis exercise.

I think you know how naughty Auntie Kittie can be. She’s sked me to make this very special hypnosis file available to you so that you can enjoy being made to be one of her little nephews.

All you need do is sign up for her special emails and then settle down quietly and enjoy this lovely hypnosis file.

You can sign up free for Auntie’s emails here.