Do you know that feeling? You know, when you can’t swallow fast enough and it starts to dribble down your chin? I should tell you what happened the other day.
I know you were probably wondering what happened to me last week. Well, yada yada yada, and I end up having my stomach pumped at the local hospital. Perhaps I should explain a little better.
My photographer, Bernard, had a session with me this week. He’s a very nervous little man. So many times he gets so close, and his excitement overwhelms him. He starts getting so excited as he points his longest lens at me and says for me to relax, while he is just panting with anticipation. It’s a good job I like him so much.
“That’s it, darling,” he whimpers. “Keep it going.”
And I am working away so hard in front of him, which I have to say I love. Sessions in the studio are so much fun. I become a different gurl. Sometimes I just don’t know what comes over me!
Afterwards I have to slip back to the office, and the IT manager looks at me strangely. He said to one of the partners in the firm, “Some times I just just don’t know what gets into that one, I really don’t.”
I’d like to say how happy I am this week, as I’m getting into the office once a week. There’s really no need for me to be there more, as I love working from home, and I am able to cover my responsibilities easily from home. I hope you to are able to adjust to these new practices. Be sure to let me know how you are going.
“I can see his nuts from here!” said Bernard, looking through his long lens as he photographed one of the squirrels in my garden. As summer brings my garden into bloom and the wildlife welcomes this warm weather I delighted to see such a profusion of life here.
Regrettably Ali is still locked in mortal combat with several snails he thinks are eating some of my flowers. He’s decalred a jihad on them and is engaged in hunting them down.
In the meantime I thought you’d be interested in the new members joining My Little Black Book. We have so many new members this month, I can barely keep up.
You can now sign up for just $2.95 a month here: https://gumroad.com/products/mMgcZ
Be sure to email me after you’ve signed up, so I can get you set up nice and swiftly.
I have a short tale to tell you that probably will go down as one of my less stellar moments in my career in advertising. Because of some of the people concerned you will understand that I have to be a little vague on some of the names. Needless to say, the primary protagonist in this little adventure was none other than one who shares their name with a certain occupant of the White House.
Well, I had no idea at the time, of course, only aware that one of the charities that we work with at the advertising agency wanted me to organise Bernard (my photographer) to come to one of their locations for a photo opportunity that I was informed could be very valuable in the fund raising campaigns that we typically manage in the fall.
As a result Bernard and I took the flight from Montreal to Vancouver, and then north to the Yukon, where a local company flew us on to a remote hunting lodge. Now, here’s the back story. Apparently some hunter from the US had decided they want to shoot one of our bears. It’s not that we are short of bears, but the area of incredible beauty that this particular ‘sportsman’ wanted to hunt in is designated as a national park. Now, we take these things rather seriously in Canada. There’s meant to be no hunting of certain species in the national park, however I was informed that a large donation would be made to the conservancy were this particular hunter allowed access, and a special dispensation had been granted.Continue reading “Can you spot the idiot in this picture?”
As you likely know the advertising agency which I work for has some diverse and interesting accounts. One of the most interesting is the local wildlife park. Just this morning I was out there, wearing what I think was a rather fetching safari suit, with a zebra print blouse, and safari boots. I do so love the look. You can see some of my favorite choices on my Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.ca/fionadobson22/
The wildlife park is quite forward thinking, and there’s always something exciting going on. A recent addition to the park is a polar bear, unfortunately this is one that’s been displaced due to loss of northern ice floes, the polar bears natural habitat, caused by climate change. This 800 lbs creature is truly magnificent and is in a very well thought out enclosure. You can also see an additional recently added attraction of delightful baby seals, as long as you arrive before lunch.
Bernard my photographer and I were down at the park attending a marketing meeting during which we were helping identify some talking points for their fall marketing campaign. Whilst there a rather unusual incident occurred. Montreal is a hotbed of alternative lifestyles and spiritual practices. Today an absent minded keeper from the wildlife park took an orangutan to be treated for some mild stress issues to an acupuncture clinic, but by mistake went next door into the voodoo temple. When the needles were plunged into the orangutan’s flabby orange backside 400 miles away Donald Trump collapsed clutching his face.
Bernard ended up with some wonderful images, and will be busy editing them all weekend. In the meantime he’s been helping me with A Guide To Selfies For Crossdressers. Hopefully I will get that out to you this week. Watch out for it on the site or on Patreon.
I do hope you and yours have a wonderful week.
I was sitting in my kitchen this morning with Bernard, my photographer, going through some proofs from the advertising agency that I work for, when Bernard started lamenting the decline in the business of photography. As an advertising agency photographer he remains in demand, but beyond the work at the agency he sees work falling off quite substantially.
“It’s no good,” he said. “These days everyone’s a photographer and no one is interested in having enlargements done.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” I interjected. “I can think of a number of friends that need enlargement.”
“I mean, all they want to do is put it their pictures on Instagram. Hardly anyone prints pictures anymore,” he said.
“But so many more people are enjoying photography,” I said. “It’s so much more accessible now.”
“Well, yes. But where does that leave me,” he asked.
“Yes, I see your point.” I said.
It took my mind back to those summer days several years ago when we’d do so many fashion shoots in the park for the agency. I can still hear Bernard’s voice in my memory as I would slip into a different outfit, and he’d shoot me on his long lens.
“No,” he’d shout from the distance as we’d cycle through various looks. “Jacket off! Jacket off!””
“I’m sorry?” I’d shout back.
“Take your jacket off!”
“Oh,” I’d reply and remove the jacket and we’d do a load more pics.
Such memories. As crossdressers we have a great opportunity to take great pictures using ourselves as the subject. In the quest to ‘accept yourself as you are and create yourself as you desire’ getting great images of yourself is a great exercise. It does take a little effort, but what a wonderful way to enjoy your crossdressing.
But all of this puts me in mind of the skills needed to do a decent selfie. Bernard and I will be posting a few things on the site and on Patreon to help you get the perfect selfie over the coming weeks. Be sure to register (it’s free) to avoid missing these. In the meantime enjoy this wonderful video from our favorite singer, Boggie. If you’ve not heard her before, have an open mind and watch her video.
Have a lovely week,
As you likely know, I work for a well known advertising agency in an active office in the delightful cosmopolitan city of Montreal. It is often said that for each job in some industries, several other people are supported. So, for example while a car plant may employ 4,000 people a further 6,000 jobs are created servicing the 4,000 people employed with things like transport, employment services and catering. In much the same way, my work supports not just myself, but also Sylvester my mechanic, Sebastian my personal trainer, Ali my gardener, young Max who helps with technology on my blog and several other assorted hangers on and peripheral individuals.
I was talking on this very subject with Bernard, my photographer, when we were out on agency business just the other day. Ali, who so lovingly tends my garden, spends more time there than I ever do. Instead, while he enjoys my delightful Champaign colored roses in my garden I am out driving with Bernard on a task for the advertising agency. And I’m paying Ali! It all seems rather obtuse. That said, I do love Ali, and his daughters are sweetness itself. They arrived in Canada just a couple of years ago, refugees from the war in Syria.Continue reading “There’s never a dull moment in the advertising business.”
Sitting in my kitchen, enjoying a quiet cup of tea, wearing my favorite kimono, I was surprised to see Ali hurrying through the gate in the fence between my garden and my neighbors. Ali, you’ll remember is my wonderful gardener. He’s a Syrian refugee, and the nicest man you can imagine.
He bustled into the kitchen looking flustered.
“It’s Marjorie,” he said looking worried. “She has the most terrible infestation!”
“She has?” I said, a little puzzled.
“Yes, in her bush. It’s very distressing.”
“Well, it would be,” I replied.
Ali is a gardener, but he was a professor at Damascus University prior to the war. He is very knowledgeable about botany. When it comes to making my garden bloom, he’s sure to be all over it.
“If her problem spreads to our garden it’s going to be horrible. Aphids are little monsters! I think I should take care of it. If I don’t everyone in Huckleberry Close is going to get it.”
“That’s a wonderful idea,” I said.
Sure enough, later that evening, when Sylvester and Bernard were over enjoying a drink with me at the end of the day, Ali came back happily convinced he’d resolved the issue. He had used some sprays, a little trimming and Marjorie’s bush was looking very thoroughly groomed.
Well, done, Ali,” I said. “After rooting around in Marjory’s bush all afternoon, I think you deserve a little clap.”
As you can see, my life is never dull. By the way, some of you have asked where I get the ideas for the music I usually place in these emails. They are usually special songs for me, each with it’s own story and special meaning. I hope you enjoy them too. Today’s is a special one.
You know keeping your body in shape is never a bad idea. However most gym exercises are very yang in nature – elevating the core energy of the body. There’s a great deal to be gained by releasing the tension in the body through a more yin form of exercise. That’s why yin yoga, or a hatha yoga class is so very important.
Some people identify this as a more feminine form of energy. I don’t really go quite that far, but I do feel that releasing tension through the use of yin yoga calm both the body and the mind. This allows me to be myself – a very feminine person.
Now, since Sebastian, my personal trainer, is off on some foolish jaunt to Molvania, teaching the less fortunate of the world about the benefits of being a vegan, I am left to take care of my own personal training needs. Honestly, how can someone be so selfish! He’s doing a stint with Personal Trainers Without Borders. Seems very egocentric to me.
Instead I will have to do my own yoga routine, along with Julie, Katia and Marjory from next door. Sylvester offered to come round and help me realign my chakras, but I’m not entirely sure that he interprets that the same way as I do. To be honest he’s far more useful greasing a half shaft and helping me with my fluids. In the car. He really can be very coarse at times.
However, I do think I should talk a little about exercise and how very important it is for all of us who crossdress. You may remember my photographer, Bernard, recently had some heart troubles resulting in a heart transplant. I am convinced this is because he doesn’t exercise properly. He really should be more committed. Admittedly being tazered certainly didn’t help. None the less he should be more aware of his health. Mind you, he’s not as bad as his brother, Fat Stewart. He hauls his bloated carcass around in a Ford F150 and is only likely to lose weight if he gets flensed.
So, after chatting with Marissa, one of my lovely members, I was put in mind of some of the benefits of exercising in the proper manner. That’s right, as a crossdresser it’s not as simple as merely going into a gym and lifting weights. If you want to look like Sylvester Stallone in a dress that might work for you, but if you’re looking for a more feminine shape it’s not going to do the things you’re looking for.
Most typical gym exercises are very yang in nature. The elevate the energy within the core of the body. As a crossdresser you’re looking for something a little different. Pumping iron bunches up the muscles and can even elevate anxiety. This is the reverse of where you want to be.
When you swim, particularly breast stroke, you are releasing energy. A slow methodical pace, using each stroke to release and push away tension, leave the body relaxed and supple. Crawl, or swimming in an over arm stroke, is more like a core exercise and isn’t what you’re looking for. The yin-like exercise of breast stroke, preferably daily, is extremely healthy and calming. It’s gentle. That feels more like where you need to go, doesn’t it?
Doing yoga is one of the best ways to allow your feminine energy to emerge. There’s no rocket science here. Getting into either Hatha, or better still, Yin yoga is a great way to find that side of yourself. Now, a word of caution. Don’t just wander into any yoga class, if you’re not sure what you’re looking for. An Ashtanga yoga class has more in common with a martial arts workout than what you likely think yoga is. You are looking for Hatha or Yin styles of yoga.
If you’re unable to get into a class I can thoroughly recommend Esther Ekhart’s website here: https://www.ekhartyoga.com/
I don’t get paid to recommend Esther. She’s lovely.
Have a lovely week, and try to get into a yoga class. If you’re a Patron and Seahorse Level of higher, you can also enjoy this spectacular self hypnosis file to make the experience all the more exciting and feminine.
Become a Patron!
You know how it is. You all get ready, make sure you’re prepared. Everyone takes the proper precautions – you know what I’m saying.
And then it always goes like this. One person just always, always finishes too soon. They’re way out there on their own having so much fun and then they’re done. Yes, it’s the same every time.
That’s why I never like playing threesomes at my local golf course. Sylvester and I are out there trying to find our balls, and Sebastian, my personal trainer, has already finished and is left polishing the shaft of his 9 iron.
As you can doubtless tell, Sylvester, Sebastian and I are out having a last round of golf before this glorious summer comes to an end.
Bernard is recovering from his heart transplant at home in his bed, though I have noticed since he got the heart of a middle aged African American woman he has started behaving very strangely. He’s made an appointment to meet Amanda, the queen of tweed, and show her his ‘Mamma’s recipe for apple pie,’ and he’s join the local Baptist church choir. They were very confused when he said he wanted to sing in the soprano section.
I’ve always found teeing off in a group of four very much more satisfying. I also like to get off first, so I can feel them all coming up behind me. I’m sure you know what I mean.
But that’s not the main reason I’m writing to you tonight. It’s just to tell you I’ve recently added a new feature to my Premium Program. I’ve always had a great collection of tasks and hypnosis files for my CD friends and members. Now I have added some great new material to the Premium Program for those crossdressers who have a partner who you’d like to bring into your CD activities.
Yes, I’ve put together a special short empowerment course to help your wife or partner (of any gender) take a more dominant role. This fun series of self hypnosis recordings stimulates a more dominant aspect of the subject to emerge. Over the course of several nights they listen to hypnotic instructions that are sure to engage their more dominant self. This, coupled with a powerful set of ‘subservience’ instructions for you – and it’s a powerful tool for anyone wanting to engage their partner in some of their crossdressing.
I know you’ll love it. It’s yet another great reason to upgrade to Premium Program if you haven’t already.
Here I am getting this post ready for you in the hotel, on a hot evening here in Chicago. I hardly know where to start, so much has been going on. I suppose I should start by telling you all about Sylvester and the other night.
I wiped my chin and said to Sylvester, “Oh, my goodness!”
It took me a moment to catch my breath. “It wasn’t as salty as I expected. I can hardly believe the quantity!”
“My tool is almost worn out!” Said Sylvester. He held the pliers, and dabbed his face with the napkin. Eating east coast lobster at a fish restaurant in Chicago is a great pleasure, but a very messy one. What did you think we were doing?
Sylvester was wrestling the last bit of lobster meat from within the claw. What a character he his. Always with a tool in his hand! As I am sure you know, he’s my mechanic and friend. We flew down together to visit Bernard in the hospital who was recovering in hospital..
I should explain. If you followed last weeks email you’ll know that Bernard managed to get himself Tazered in the arrivals lounge of O’Hare airport. That is far from where the drama ended.
He was rushed through to the hospital, and there – to my horror – they found that Bernard, who had become so excited by certain aspects of my physique, was in the middle of a heart attack. I had thought he looked rather like a freshly landed trout as he convulsed following his Tazering, but not being familiar with how one generally responds to a Tazer, I thought this quite normal.
Even the police officer who gave Bernard the jolt looked quite concerned. He even showed up in the hospital as Sylvester and I were visiting. Bernard was still unconscious, and here we were three days later.
The police officer walked into the private room I arranged for Bernard, and held out his hand. “Officer Speltman,” he said. “You can call me Sparky.”
“Sparky,” said Sylvester. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah… They gave me that nickname at the academy. It kinda stuck…”
“Well, Sparky,” I said, “I’m Bernard’s friend. I’m sure he would be grateful you came and visited. If he were, you know… conscious.”
“I’m sorry he got the jolt. I didn’t really have a choice in the circumstances.”
I took the business card Officer Speltman offered and said I would call him when we had further news. Then Sylvester and I went and found a hotel, and a fish restaurant at which to have some dinner.
“I still don’t quite understand why Bernard didn’t get up when the cop told him to,” said Sylvester.
“I think he was concerned about his clothing being… disarranged. He was in a state of some excitement.” I felt awkward telling Sylvester that Bernard had a prominent erection and was concerned about embarrassing himself when he stood up. “Let’s just say he was hard at work, when it happened.”
The following morning I had a call from the hospital with the worrying news that Bernard was extremely ill and that the hospital was doing it’s best to locate a heart for a transplant. I am, of course, quite shocked – as I am sure you are. I will keep you informed. (See what happened next by going here: https://fionadobson.com/bernard/zipper-job/)
In the meantime, I have a very special self hypnosis file for you tonight.
This file is all about taking it to the next level, so join me in a lovely relaxing self hypnosis exercise and have a listen. And of course, I will be sure to let you know about developments with Bernard.