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There’s never a dull moment in the advertising business.
As you likely know, I work for a well known advertising agency in an active office in this delightful city. It is often said that for each job in some industries, several other people are supported. So, for example while a car plant may employ 4,000 people a further 6,000 jobs are created servicing the 4,000 people employed with things like transport, employment services and catering. In much the same way, my work supports not just myself, but also Sylvester my mechanic, Sebastian my personal trainer, Ali my gardener, young Max who helps with technology on my blog and several other assorted hangers on and peripheral individuals.
I was talking on this very subject with Bernard, my photographer, when we were out on agency business just the other day. Ali, who so lovingly tends my garden, spends more time there than I ever do. Instead, while he enjoys my delightful champaign colored roses in my garden I am out driving with Bernard on a task for the advertising agency. And Iām paying Ali! It all seems rather obtuse. That said, I do love Ali, and his daughters are sweetness itself. They arrived in Canada just a couple of years ago, refugees from the war in Syria.
Continue reading “There’s never a dull moment in the advertising business.”Marjorie has an infestation!
Hi,
Sitting in my kitchen, enjoying a quiet cup of tea, wearing my favorite kimono, I was surprised to seeĀ AliĀ hurrying through the gate in the fence between my garden and my neighbors. Ali, you’ll remember is my wonderful gardener. He’s a Syrian refugee, and the nicest man you can imagine.
He bustled into the kitchen looking flustered.Ā
“It’s Marjorie,” he said looking worried.Ā “She has the most terrible infestation!”
“She has?” I said, a little puzzled.
“Yes, in her bush. It’s very distressing.”
“Well, it would be,” I replied.
Ali is a gardener, but he was a professor at Damascus University prior to the war.Ā He is very knowledgeable about botany. When it comes to making my garden bloom, he’s sure to be all over it.Ā
“If her problem spreads to our garden it’s going to be horrible. Aphids are little monsters!Ā I think I should take care of it. If I don’t everyone in Huckleberry Close is going to get it.”
“That’s a wonderful idea,” I said.
Sure enough, later that evening, whenĀ SylvesterĀ andĀ BernardĀ were over enjoying a drink with me at the end of the day, Ali came back happily convinced he’d resolved the issue. HeĀ had used some sprays, a little trimming and Marjorie’s bush was looking very thoroughly groomed.
Well, done, Ali,” I said. “After rooting around in Marjory’s bush all afternoon, I think you deserve a little clap.”
As you can see, my life is never dull. .
š
FionaĀ
No one should be without a body stocking!
If you are getting my weekly emails – which you get when you sign up for the Free Program – you’ll already know the importance of having a great body stocking in your wardrobe. Ā I was reminded, when looking at Sylvester’s legs the other day, that some of us bare a closer resemblance to the lower primates than others. Having a great body stocking is a good way to disguise body hair.
Here’s a selection of options that are fun, easy to wear and will make you feel fabulous.
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Unhand that banana!
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I had to beat off a load of journalists!
The winter months are always fun in an advertising agency. Even more so for myself, as I have several skiing related accounts. It was this that brought me, Bernard my photographer and Sebastian, my personal trainer to the beautiful mountain village of Whistler in Beautiful British Columbia this week.
I found myself here partly to oversee the photography for a ski manufacturerās latest high end products,
and also for a resort client located in the Village. As part of the weekās activity I found myself skiing with a small group of journalists, all eager to test the manufacturers new products.
Before the main days skiing, I had the opportunity to brush up my skills a little with Bernard. There I was, in my tight ski suit, stretching and preparing.
In the comfort of my hotel room, Sebastian helped me refine my style and posture for fast downhill skiing. Sebastian can be very useful on a trip like this. Youād be surprised what he gets up to.
āThatās it,ā he said, pressing his hand into the small of my back. āLean forward and stick your bum out.ā
āNow bend your legs, and flatten your back.ā
I found the position strangely familiar.
āIf you move your hips from side to side,ā he said standing behind me, āyouāll find it feel even more fluid.ā Sebastian seemed quite breathless.
āYes,ā I gasped feeling my body getting into the exercise. āItās a very enjoyable sensation,ā I said as I moved my body languidly back and forth.
Now, I know youāll find this hard to believe, but all this stretching and preparation seemed to get Sebastian quite excited. I could swear he poked me in the back with his ski pole!
As it happened I did very well on the slopes. At the end of the week of skiing we had a race down the mountain from the peak, a very exciting informal race. I thought I might be beaten by a number of the boys, but as you might guess, try as they might ā and through no small effort on my part – I managed to beat them off and cross the finish line leading by a head.
After that it was up to the hot tub to watch the snow falling on the mountain in the twighlight.
But thatās not the main reason Iām writing. I thought Iād send you a quick reminder that with Spring just around the corner itās time to start looking for some new Spring colors. This year putting together easy combinations of colors in underwear, makeup and outwear should be every CDās priority. When was the last time you matched your eyeshadow to your favorite lingerie? Well, todays a great day to start planning ahead.
Got any great Spring outfit ideas? Get on the website and share them!
š
Fiona
I need some new eyeshadow for my third eye!
āPush your bum back a bit,ā said Sebastian, maneuvering behind me.
āOh, Sebastian,ā I said, perspiration dripping from my brow.
āThatās better,ā he said pressing his hand into the small of my back.
As you probably know, Sebastian is my personal trainer. We often do yoga sessions together. Some of these yoga positions are really quite challenging. As we move into the cooler weather I do find I like to lift up the intensity of my exercise regime. And Sebastian is a treasure, I really do enjoy getting it up with him. My yoga is very important to me.
I also find that with the cooler weather I like to dress in suitably warmer clothes, and the opportunity to explore new styles is a source of great joy. I enjoy wearing a kilt, and know there are many other members, some who cannot overtly dress in femme clothing but can wear a kilt from time to time. A kilt is a very good way to gradually introduce more androgynous clothing into your repertoire.
This week, as an exercise perhaps you can check out a few ideas for kilts online ā hereās a start.
I also loved the tights below. They have a nice tartan imprint. I do have some distant Scottish heritage and used to spend every Christmas on the Isle Of Skye. I even got lost in Dunvegan Castle once as a child. But one thing I do enjoy is watching the Highland Games events. I have always thought Bernard would be rather good at tossing the caber. I understand he comes from Essex, in England, which some of my English friends have told me is full of tossers.
Bernard tells me that it sometimes gets so cold in the north of Canada that thereās so many icicles hanging from his sporran that youād think he brought along his own wind chimes. What a sight that must be.
Here in Canada we believe in an inclusive approach to life. This is exemplified by my good friend Justin, who – when he’s not busy running the country – is very happy to swing by and take a walk on the beach nearby. And I have to say, he doesn’t have bad legs. He’s asked me once or twice if I can spare Sebastian for a yoga class, but so far we’ve been a bit too busy and our schedules haven’t been quite aligned. Perhaps he’ll join us for a class here in Huckleberry Close as things slow down around Christmas. At least, he promised he would. We’ll see.
As we approach Halloween I have a ghostly story coming out late this month which I think you might enjoy. You may want to keep an eye open for The Living Doll on http://FionaDobson.com . Thereās also The Foreshore Light and The Apartment, for those of you who like the ghostly theme of Halloween, both of which are already available. If you’d like to hear Jules Sanderson reading The Foreshore Light you can do so here. Be sure to check them out when you have a moment. I think I’ve given you enough there to keep you up at night. Itās not often that you find ghostly stories suitable for crossdressers, but I do try to present a broad cross section of content for my lovely members. As ever, Clothes Maketh The Man, now with episode 50 out, is doing wonderfully. I do hope youāre enjoying it.
If youāre not already a member be sure to check out the membership options here ā http://FionaDobson.com/my-programs
Have a lovely week,
😊
Fiona
Bernard is making me wet.
Bernard has his little skiff out on the bay today and is pressing me to join him. What is an action transvestite like myself to do?
With a few good gusts blowing and Bernard urging me to join him sailing I know I have to be well prepared. And what could be nicer than this lovely looking wetsuit. This particular one is a 3mm neoprene one, providing enough UV protection to allow me a good afternoon’s sail without overheating, and should I end up taking a swim or capsizing, I know I won’t get cold. And all for less than $45.
Are you an action trannie? Be sure you’re suitably geared up for summer.
It’s important to get one’s priorities right.
I had just disconnected from a Zoom meeting with a client who was looking at rebranding his chain of laundries when Ali, my Syrian gardener, arrived for his English lesson. I have been concerned about his use of English and offered to help him as best I could. The Trimark Laundry Company would have to wait for their report about renaming their stores.
As a busy advertising account executive I find I do have to prioritise my private life. If Mr. Skid of the Trimark Laundry Company expected to be prioritized over my own personal interests he was very much mistaken.
I spend a half hour each day helping Ali to advance his use of English.
āSo you see, Ali,ā I explained, āusing capitalization properly can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example, āI was helping my cousin Jack off his horseā¦ā
At that very moment the door swung open and Bernard bustled into the kitchen.
āGoodness,ā I said. āYou gave me a start, Bernard. What on earthās the matter?ā
āIāve got a leak,ā he said hurriedly.
āWell, you know where the bathroom is,ā I replied.
āNo. Itās the boat. I need to go and pump it out. It seems to be taking on water.ā
I should explain. Bernard keeps a small sloop in the mariner near Huckleberry Close.
āWell, can I help with anything? Biscuits perhaps?ā I got up to put the kettle on.
āNo. We have to get down there right away. I wondered if you and Ali could help out,ā he said.
āOf course,ā I replied reaching for my new London Look lipstick. I wouldnāt want to be caught out in a sinking boat without a nice shade, and went to find a nice pale pink sweater.
āItās just that I need someone to help pump it out.ā
I remembered the hours Iād spent onboard pumping my arm up and down seemingly for hours on a previous occasion. Anyone whoās been around boats will know this feeling. Up down, up down, and up down. And all to drain the scuppers.
āOh, Iām sure I can help with that.ā
āCan I come too,ā piped up Ali.
āOf course,ā said Bernard. āThe more the merrier!ā
What a fun morning we had. And all because Bernardās worm gear clamp had not been properly adjusted. I admit this does sound rather more like something in Mistress Megās realm than mine. Which brings you to the main reason Iām writing today. I put out a lovely story for my all my members this week ā The Long Game. And true to form Mistress Meg has released one of her great self hypnosis files. You can find Mistress Megās Denial self hypnosis here. Youāll need to be a Seahorse member to access it and if youāve not already done so you can do so here.
Now, I have to go and massage my bicep. All that pumping is quite exhausting. However, at least Bernardās boat is all shipshape now.
Have a lovely week.
😊
Fiona
Bernard put his foot in it.
As you know, I am a very sensitive person. I like to think others come to me because of my gentle nature and empathy. For this very reason I was very concerned about a conversation I recently had with Ali, my gardener and Bernard, my photographer. Things are a little quiet at the advertising agency at present, so Bernard has been out getting his boat ready for the season. He does so love his sailing.
Ali and I were enjoying a very nice German Riesling in the garden, talking about plans I have for the arboretum, or scrub land as Sylvester rather ignorantly refers to the more unkempt section at the bottom of my garden.
āThe Germans really are talented wine makers,ā I said as I surveyed the wild flowers.
āIndeed,ā said Ali, in his heavily accented Syrian English. āThis is a very āHƤnde hochā.ā
āAli, I donāt think you can say that. Weāre all on the same side now! Is it racist? I donāt know. Besides,ā I added, āyou drive a smart car. Isnāt that made by Mercedes?ā
āOh, Iām sorry. Itās my English, you know,ā mumbled Ali. I am concerned about his language skills, but I some times suspect he may be trying to pull the wool over my eyes.
At that very moment Bernard appeared at my Garden gate looking most concerned. I invited him in and sat him at the garden table and asked what on earth could be the matter.
āWell,ā he started, looking very downcast, āI think I may have upset someone down at the sailing club.ā
āHow on earth did you do that,ā I asked, eager to help, as ever.
āI was trying to be helpful,ā said Bernard. āIt was the Commodore. He was moving his boat, and I offered to lend him a hand.ā
āBernard, that sounds very kind of you,ā I observed.
āYou obviously donāt remember I introduced you to Andrew a couple of years ago at the year end dinner. You remember, he was the guy with only one arm,ā replied Bernard awkwardly.
āOnly one arm,ā I said slowly. āAh, yes. I remember now. And you offered to lend him a hand?ā
āYes. It just, sort of, came out,ā he continued. āAnd things got a little chilly after that.ā
āAre you sure he took offence,ā I asked. āIt might be that youāre imagining this. Heās probably just fine.ā
At this point Ali chimed in, āYou offered to help the fellow. Whereās the āarm in that?ā
I fixed Ali with a cold stare.
āAli, thatās not funny,ā I said.
You can see the sort of dreadful thing I have to put up with. However, on a brighter note, I am thrilled to say my Premium Program for women is going very nicely. If you know anyone that would benefit from this great program, be sure to suggest they visit my Patreon and look for the $5 a month Package, which is especially for them.
Auntie Kittie has a great new diary entry today, so if youāre a member be sure to check it out.
Have a lovely weekend, stay safe and get a vaccine!
Fiona
PS ā Yes. Be sure to get a vaccine. I said that. And I had mine about 10 days ago. Itās about the most satisfying prick thatās been in me in a while!
Things are warming up.
I am happy to say that a few friends and I have been able to gather safely, and socially distanced, in my garden of late. Seeing Sebastian, Sylvester and Bernard all sitting there, along with Marjory and Amanda was a very special treat after such a long time when gatherings have been a bad idea. I am thrilled to say that weāve finally all ben vaccinated.
Each of my friends brought an item they had prepared themselves. Sebastian whipped out his lovely sausage, which I am sure you know I just canāt get enough of! Just when I think I canāt take any more of it, he surprises me with more.
I was however a little disturbed as Sylvester leaned suggestively over toward Amanda and asked her if sheād like to try a cream horn. He really can be quite coarse, you know. It did remind me though, I did have to speak to Amanda confidentially, and make something of an apology.
This was a matter which by its very nature is unpleasant, however, when Amanda had asked me about a little problem she has I felt obliged to assist. Now, as you know, Amanda is not exactly my favorite person being my wifeās friend and former lover from university. Anyway, it seems Amanda has a problem with something politely described as āhyperhidrosisā. In plain English this translates through to āshe sweats like a gross pigā, something not all together surprising as she is the editor of Pig and Pig Farmer Weekly.
When she approached me confidentially to ask my advice, which as you are doubtless aware I offer without judgement or any desire to embarrass, I was happy to help the poor pigā¦ oopsā¦ woman. Pointing out the fact that it may be a sign of more serious health issues, such as diabetes, infection or a thyroid issue, I suggested that the most likely cause was that she was a little out of shape and that she might think of getting more active. Perhaps she should go out with Bernard in his sailboat, or spend more time on her bicycle than in her Prius. Or occasionally walk somewhere.
āBut, Fiona,ā she replied by text, during a brief exchange, āI feel so embarrassed about my sweating. If I exercise more people will see it. I have great lines of sweat on my tee shirt, and under my arms.ā
I pushed the gross imagery from my mind and suggested āPerhaps an antiperspirantā¦ā
The texts flowed to and fro with her asking for recommendations, and as it happened the advertising agency for whom I work do handle an account for a large manufacturer of healthy personal products, so I suggested their antiperspirant stick product, which I had couriered over to her directly. Weāre particularly proud of our association with this company, having suggested some slight revisions to the previously ungainly shape of the product. It is now sportily shaped in an aerodynamic style.
āItās easy to use,ā I texted her. āJust remove top and push up bottom.ā
Well, needless to say I did not mean her to take the instructions quite so literally. I suppose when people depend on texts it is somewhat easy to take them a little out of context. Needless to say Amanda was experiencing a degree of discomfort, and I felt I should offer my sympathy.
By the way you can read more of any character I mention by drilling down into the hotlinked references to them, if you feel so inclined. Itās a fun way to explore the strange world I navigate daily.
Iād like to suggest a very worthy charitable cause for my members today. I donāt do this often, as I know not everyone is able to help. Today however I think it important to raise awareness of many of our sisters in quite dire need in India. Itās not easy being trans at the best of times but during a pandemic things can be extremely difficult. Of course, we canāt help everyone on the planet, but helping those where the buck goes furthest is probably not a bad idea. Anyway, check out this campaign, and if it resonates I am sure your help will not be unappreciated.
please donate if you canhttps://t.co/pLIUHNLRiu
ā Łsia 🧈 (@lueurvk) April 25, 2021
Check out my programs here. I have something for everyone.
Have a lovely week and stay safe,
😊
Fiona
Continuing crossdressing adventures, and leotards!
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Spring is in the air.
Bernard is full of the joys of spring at this time of year. Heās doing all sorts of maintenance on his little boat, cleaning his fishing gear until itās spotlessly clean, and also polishing up his weapon. Heās a very keen outdoor sportsman.
Weāve had many good times in the past when weāve travelled together for the advertising agency, although there’s been no travel happening for a while. As I see him stripping his gun I am reminded of a lovely trip we had in the highlands of Scotland some years ago. Weād been invited to shoot grouse on the moors. The beauty of the landscape in that fresh northern light is quite breathtaking. Northern Scotland must be one of the most evocative places on earth, with itās wild wind swept landscape, lightly brushed with heather.
Weād walked for miles over the moor and seen ptarmigan and quail at a distance, but it looked like Bernard was going to come back empty handed. I was simply enjoying a lovely day out in the fresh air, and then Bernard got terribly excited, and the next thing I knew he shot a load over my head. It was quite exhilarating. Perhaps you can imagine.
At work I have been surprised by the emergence of a number of committeeās within the advertising agency. We have one for racial awareness, one for staff empowerment and of course one for gender issues, and others being formed all the time. The job of these task forces is to make sure staff are aware of issues and to maintain a high standard of awareness of contentious issues, for both our clients and our staff. I must say, I think itās high time awareness of some of these issues was brought to the fore. Itās a pleasure to see several new faces on these committees, and Iāve been asked to sit on several of them already.
Sebastian was in my kitchen this morning drinking a freshly squeezed orange juice as I stretched in preparation for our yoga class. I must say I do love the yoga wear. Nice leggings and a sports bra are a wonderful look for any gurl.
āI am getting a few more clients,ā said Sebastian. āI think people want to get in shape for the summer.ā
āWell, now that weāre getting past this damned virus,ā I replied, āIām sure more people are focusing on their health. Itās a precious gift and needs to be nurtured.ā
āSpeaking of nurturing,ā said Sebastian, āIāve started a self help group for people who do self-harm.ā
āSebastian, thatās so thoughtful of you. What on earth made you think of such a thing?ā
āWell, Rainbow struggled with it,ā He told me. āSo, I figured Iād create a support group. I have to say itās a hard slog though. Like banging your head against a brick wall.ā
āHow very public spirited of you,ā I replied.
I have included a post on my website about Sebastianās suggestions for yoga wear for my members. Heās been very helpful and put some great ideas up there. You can find it HERE.
Don’t forget, you can join my Patreon for as little as $1 a month HERE. It’s the most fun dollar you’ll spend this month, I guarantee it!
Have a lovely week, and be sure to let me know how you’re getting along.
š
Fiona
- http://FionaDobson.com
Sylvester’s got his knob out and is giving it a polish.
We had a little socially distanced gathering the other day which I feel I should tell you about. Amanda, as you likely know, is my wifeās friend and the editor of Pig And Pig Farmer Weekly, the seventh most popular pig related publication in the Midwest. As such I have found inviting her to some brainstorming sessions has helped at times. On this occasion Bernard, my photographer, and Sebastian were also present.
Poor Sebastian, heās very worried about his sister, who you will remember made a small error and applied for the job involving a little ālight house keepingā, and is now positioned in the far north manning a navigation outpost alone in the northern arctic. Bernard is also feeling quite disrupted. He loves to go hunting and fishing. The cold months unfortunately reduce his leisure activities substantially. So, you can see the need for a something to destress us all seemed quite pressing.
āI think we should address the elephant in the room,ā said Bernard. Naturally I glanced at Amanda. He continued, āwe need some direction. Something to help us see past how difficult things are at the moment. We need some goals.ā
āYou are so right, Bernard,ā I agreed. āItās like my friend Justin said just the other day. Spring is coming! We should remember that!ā
Itās not unusual for me to have a call from the Prime Ministerās office late in the evening, with Mr. Trudeau looking for a little advice. He often asks me for a helping hand, and I am always happy to give him one.
Continue reading “Sylvester’s got his knob out and is giving it a polish.”Bernard is choking on Sebastian’s sausage.
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Getting Astride Sylvester’s Boner.
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Did you know?
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Date some of my new crossdressing members.
“I can see his nuts from here!” said Bernard, looking through his long lens as he photographed one of the squirrels in my garden. As summer brings my garden into bloom and the wildlife welcomes this warm weather I delighted to see such a profusion of life here.
Regrettably Ali is still locked in mortal combat with several snails he thinks are eating some of my flowers. He’s decalred a jihad on them and is engaged in hunting them down.
In the meantime I thought you’d be interested in the new members joining My Little Black Book. We have so many new members this month, I can barely keep up.
You can now sign up for just $2.95 a month here:Ā https://gumroad.com/products/mMgcZ
Be sure to email me after you’ve signed up, so I can get you set up nice and swiftly.
Can you spot the idiot in this picture?
I have a short tale to tell you that probably will go down as one of my less stellar moments in my career in advertising. Because of some of the people concerned you will understand that I have to be a little vague on some of the names. Needless to say, the primary protagonist in this little adventure was none other than one who shares their name with a certain occupant of the White House.
Well, I had no idea at the time, of course, only aware that one of the charities that we work with at the advertising agency wanted me to organise Bernard (my photographer) to come to one of their locations for a photo opportunity that I was informed could be very valuable in the fund raising campaigns that we typically manage in the fall.
As a result Bernard and I took the flight from Montreal to Vancouver, and then north to the Yukon, where a local company flew us on to a remote hunting lodge. Now, hereās the back story. Apparently some hunter from the US had decided they want to shoot one of our bears. Itās not that we are short of bears, but the area of incredible beauty that this particular āsportsmanā wanted to hunt in is designated as a national park. Now, we take these things rather seriously in Canada. Thereās meant to be no hunting of certain species in the national park, however I was informed that a large donation would be made to the conservancy were this particular hunter allowed access, and a special dispensation had been granted.
Continue reading “Can you spot the idiot in this picture?”