BREAKING: Vaccine Found! Trump to announce cure.

Trump to announce vaccine has been found for bisexuality.

“We believe there’s only a few cases, maybe 15. Soon they’ll magically disappear. Our non science based approach gets a thumbs up from the electorate. And our thumbs really are way up!”

Speaking from the Rose Garden Trump talked casually with reporters after the announcement.

“You know I am a stable genius,” he added. “I don’t get why everyone thinks this administration is a laughing stock. Bleach anyone?”

Little Donald has been telling porkies!

http://fionadobson.com/indian-dating-online-free/ writes: –

My goodness, I do have to put up with some nonsense from some of the children in the neighbourhood.  One doesn’t like to have favorites, but I can’t help but thank heavens my nephews and nieces are rather better behaved than some of the other neighbourhood children.

Several of the local children like to play in my garden. I’ve started having Ali, Fiona’s gardener – you may have heard of him – pop by and take care of my flowers. He rigged up a nice swing from an apple tree and some of the youngsters like to come over and play on the swing. Generally they are sweet, laughing and giggling away there. I love the sound of happy children. Of course, there’s sometimes one obnoxious little trouble maker in the group, but one hopes the positive influence of my neighborhood kids will have a beneficial effect. Little Angela, Jacinder and Boris are all playing nicely. It’s not easy for the little ones while we have this virus to contend with.

Continue reading “Little Donald has been telling porkies!”

The Art Of The Toilet

Sylvester very kindly dropped in this morning.  He was concerned I might not have put together a good supply of things to get through the next little while, as many of us hunker down for a while.  I think I am well prepared, however there was one thing I did find a little curious about his care package.

On the top of the package was a book by Donald Trump.  I felt this was a little odd.

“I know things are bad,” I commented.  “I don’t think they’re quite that bad, though.  My reading list is quite extensive, and this would be somewhere behind Dyanetics, or perhaps the Montreal telephone directory of 1985.”

“It’s meant as toilet paper,” commented Sylvester.

“Oh, yes.  I suppose it always was.  Well, it’s good to find some use for it.”

Below are some very helpful toilet tissue links. It’s good to put these things behind you, of course. I was visiting Washington last month and a good friend of mine who we will just call ‘Nancy’ put me on to several reliable suppliers. You know she has them in each bathroom and is lobbying to have the installed in the bathrooms in The Capitol Building.

I realise a lot of my members will be stuck at home for various reasons in the coming weeks, and frankly as inconvenient as it is it’s also the responsible thing to do at present. We don’t need to either expose ourselves (calm down) or be exposed to more people than absolutely necessary. With this in mind I will be spending more time online chatting through the site or through our Whatsapp Group.  I’ll also be raising the frequency of posts on FionaDobson.com and my Patreon. We’ve got a great series running on my Patreon at present, Poison! – you can read the first installment here.

If you are bored be sure to check out the Whatsapp Group as it includes discussions about all manner of things, and we’d love to see you in there. You’ll never be bored.

😊

Fiona

From The Office Of The President.

I get a lot of correspondence on my email and through the various chat channels, as well as Twitter. Now, without betraying any confidences here, and understanding that some of my lovely members are in positions of power that make their identities a matter of some delicacy, I will recount one such conversation I had today.

“Fiona, I get so tired of making decisions every day, I just would love for someone to make them for me. Sometimes, I just feel the whole world is against me.”

Continue reading “From The Office Of The President.”

Urine a pile of trouble, Fiona.

“Urine a pile of trouble, Fiona…”

Hi,

I feel I have no alternative but to come out and say it, Yes, I did stay at The Ritz Carlton in Moscow in 2013. It’s true. However, there are limits to the kind of depravity I am prepared to indulge in. I should come clean and clear the air.

Allow me to explain a little, and I should point out that Max, my next door neighbors 20 year old son came into my kitchen this morning as I was slipping on a gingham skirt and smoothing down my black top. As he rushed in he almost caught me by surprise.

“Fiona,” he babbled. “What’s a golden shower?”

I fixed him with a long look and realised he really wasn’t joking.

“Well, Max. When two people love each other very much…” I realised this was not going to be easy. “You see… It’s something two people who love each other very much can share.”

“Oh, what you mean like sex in the shower.”

“Well, not really,” I replied.

“Not if you have gold taps or a golden shower head?”

“Not exactly.”

I think I’m straying from my point.  Ah, yes. While it’s true that I have stayed at The Ritz Carlton in Moscow, and I have in the past been linked in some capacities to certain persons who will be inaugurated in the next few days, I would like to strenuously deny any suggestion that I have ever indulged in certain acts in the privacy of a hotel room in Moscow. There are limits to my depravity.

While I could succumb to the questionable pleasures of a golden shower, there is absolutely no conceivable way in which I would be sink to such depths of debauchery as to voluntarily spend time alone with the individual in question. As he has so eloquently put it himself, “I am a germophobe.”

Should some video emerge which shows me in a compromising position, obviously it’s been faked! Honest… Believe me!

🙂

Fiona

Here’s a great exercise for anyone wishing to feel a little more feminine. Have a listen and be sure to comment. Don’t forget – you can always find Playtime With Fiona here: https://fionadobson.com/tag/playtime-with-fiona/
Members of my Premium Program have been loving some of the tasks and exercises we’ve been using to help them feel even more comfortable with their dressing. If you’re among this group feel free to post some of your experiences at http://FionaDobson.com.

A premature election?

All I can possibly say is, “What a week!”

Now, as you likely know, I am the very soul of discretion, and would neither say anything to embarrass anyone, nor anything to get myself sued. With this in mind you may need to read between the lines in today’s email. For my many friends outside of North America, you may have to work a little on this week’s missive.

tumblr_o633arjprr1uxh3kao1_500I found myself hurrying through Las Vegas this week, on agency business. I got off the plane and was in a series of meetings before finally checking into my hotel late on Wednesday evening. The last time I had been in Las Vegas was with Sebastian, my personal trainer, who was here applying for a job. He was in the midst of one of his bursts of Christian spirituality, and had applied to a famous TV Evangelist for a job working as a missionary. The TV preacher was subsequently defrocked, I learned, for being rather too friendly with some of the younger members of his flock. Such behaviour! I wonder if that is ‘defrocked’ or disbaaahed’? Either way, Sebastian did not get the missionary position.

I found my hotel to be full of activity and secret service people, as apparently there was a very important guest staying. At first I thought all the attention was for me, however I soon found out otherwise.
After checking in, I walked to the elevator, stepped inside just as a large entourage arrived and one particular member pushed forward through the closing doors of the elevator. Taken by surprise I found myself alone in the elevator with a large man, who was instantly recognizable by his shock of orange hair.

Now, as I say, I am the soul of discretion, so I will refrain from naming names. The man was, in his way, also applying for a rather important job.  He was very distraught and kept muttering something about a ‘nasty woman’.

To my surprise the elevator stopped after a moment, nowhere near my floor, and the lights dimmed. Being caught in a halted elevator is a very disturbing experience. The man looked at me, then seemed to realise his colleagues were not with us, and gradually we realised we were stuck in the elevator, and may be here some time. It was a very difficult situation.

The next moment I was shocked to find himm lunging at me and thrusting himself forwards. As you know, I am not the ‘average’ woman and have a little extra to surprise any man. As he tried to grab at me, I deftly stepped aside and giggled.

“Really,” I gasped, and tried to stall him, but he was having none of it. He made another lurch and his octopus like hands were suddenly all over me!

Thinking, I might as well do something about the situation, I pushed him away, smiled and said that I thought I might know what he needed.

“Relax,” I said. “Think of me as someone who can sort out your election…”

I dropped to my knees and I will not go into what followed. Needless to say, I think I can say his pole was looking healthier than it has in a long time. By the time the elevator returned to service, he was looking a lot more relaxed.

As we arrived on the 16th floor, the doors opened and several worried looking secret service personnel hurried into the elevator. My friend then disappeared, leaving me feeling like I needed to go and brush my teeth, in the knowledge I had done my bit to serve my country.

However, that’s not the main reason I am writing to you. As we edge closer to the election I feel it part of my role to urge you to go out, familiarise yourself with the issues and then get out and vote. As for me, I think I’ve had enough of his nonsense rammed down my throat for one election.

🙂

Fiona