What an extraordinary week it has been, with the most exciting things happening about the place.Ā But before I get into that, I will first answer a couple of quick questions from my valued members.
Yes, Ellie in Texas, when you have a costume party to celebrate your ten years NRA membership a piƱata is a very suitable idea for a game, though we do not generally feel that putting ammunition in it as prizes is a very good idea. Perhaps crystal wine goblets or a decanter would be better.
Olive, in Halifax in Yorkshire, we find the best remedy is to plunge your plums in boiling water. Both Julie and I enjoy making jam, too! What a small world it is.
As we revel in a beautiful summer here in North America itās definitely time to delve into your wardrobe and find a mini skirt. Whether itās to do a private set of selfies, or get out in the park and brave going out in public, the summer gives us all a great excuse to expose our legs to sunshine and get a beautiful tan. Youāll find one of my very popular self hypnosis recordings that so many of you love rightĀ HERE.Ā Of course, in theĀ Premium ProgramĀ thereās many to help you along. If youāre already a member I hope youāre getting the most out of these. If youāre thinking about joining the Premium Program enjoy theĀ self hypnosis filehereĀ and see how you feel. Itās likely to harden your resolve to getting into a lovely skirt.
And speaking of hardening my resolve,Ā SebastianĀ my personal trainer was over at my place justĀ yesterday. He came over to give me a yoga class, and afterwards he gave me a very enjoyable massage. I was out in the sun, in the back garden, with Sebastian rubbing some oils into my aching muscles, when I noticedĀ Max, my neighbours 20 year old son, watching us from his bedroom window, which overlooks my garden.
I should point out that Max has shown growing curiosity about me in recent months.Ā Heās not quite sure what to make of me, I think. Either way, seeing Sebastian rubbing my thighs so intimately seemed most disturbing for him. Whilst Sebastian was hard at work, as it were, Max was suffering.
Unknown to me at the time, Max was indeed so agitated that he went downstairs to his motherās kitchen, took a large carrot, and then went out into my driveway, and pushed it right up Sebastianās exhaust pipe!Ā Sebastian, I should say, rides a little Honda scooter. Itās very cute. Not as big asĀ Sylvesterāschopper, of course,Ā but thatās another story.
Nothing good ever comes from jamming vegetables places they shouldnāt be. Believe me, I should know, my cousin works in an emergency room at the hospital. Anyway, after inserting his nefarious carrot, Max returned to his bedroom.
Sebastian was just finishing me off, (phrasing), and our yoga session was coming to a very happy ending.Ā It was not a minute too soon, asĀ Bernard, my photographer, was due at my place to discuss a shoot we have next week for one of the advertising agency clients. I like to work from home, and Bernard often drops by.
I was just seeing Sebastian off, when Bernard arrived. Sebastian straddled his scooter and hit the starter, just as Bernard was walking up my driveway. There was a phut, phut, BANG!
Next thing I knew Bernard was lying on the ground gasping and clutching his heart. You may remember he had a heart transplant just about a year ago, after an unfortunateĀ Tazering incidentĀ at OāHare.
At first I thought the shock of the backfire had given him a heart attack. Then I saw the carrot, fallen to the ground, beside Bernard, who was by now convulsing and looking decidedly peeky.
āHold on, Bernard,ā I said as calmly as I could. āIāll call an ambulance!ā
He gurgled as first Sebastian and then Max, appearing from next door ran to him to help.
As I rushed inside Sebastian was telling Bernard that he wished heād brought his homeopathic first aid kit. This didnāt seem to comfort Bernard, who was gurgling and coughing up blood.
I called the ambulance from the phone Iād left in my kitchen, and then hurried back to the increasingly pale form of Bernard lying in the driveway. He was reaching out in front of him, clutching at the air.
āItās OK,ā I said as calmly as I could. āThe ambulance is coming.ā
āI can see a light,ā said Bernard, his eyes glazed over.
āGo toward the light,ā said Sebastian. āGo toward the light!ā
āAre you sure?ā I said. āI thought you were supposed to go away from the light.ā
āTheyāre calling me,ā babbled Bernard, still clutching his chest, but fading from pale to a blue color. With that he seemed to go limp and give a final sigh.
A moment later the ambulance pulled into my driveway. The ambulance service here really is very good, and they have such very nice uniforms.
They loaded Bernard into the ambulance. Max was flapping around like an old woman, fawning over Bernard, and looking terribly distraught. As the ambulance pulled away and headed toward the hospital, I thought he was going to run and get his bicycle and follow it. Even then, I realised something was amiss.
As the ambulance siren faded Max turned to me and said, āFiona, thereās something I have to tell you.ā
Now, Iām going to tell you exactly what happened next in my next newsletter, because it really was so extraordinary. Letās just say that the truth really does set you free, but at what price?
I hope you’re having a better weekend than we are!
😊
Fiona |