The work of a crossdressing advertising account executive is never done. On Friday night I was preparing to leave the office when my eyes fell upon the latest piece of creative from our graphics department.
Just as I was looking forward to a nice lager down at Trannie Annie’s bar I noticed the proof of the poster. It was all signed off and ready to be sent to the printers, when three words leapt off the page at me.
I caught my breath as I reread the text. It’s not often we’re asked to do poster campaigns these days and this one was for a prominent science author who was doing a book tour. Confidentiality prevents me from mentioning names here, however this particular individual is very recognizable, speaking with the aid of a computer synthesized voice, and with his career rolling forward apace.
I called the creative director immediately and caught him as he was stepping aboard a train on his evening commute home.
“Derek,” I said. “This poster,” and then he interrupted.
“Isn’t the image beautiful?” He gushed. “It’s from one of those radio telescopes.”
“Yes,” I replied. “The image is lovely.”
“He’s very excited about it all,” carried on the creative director. “The posters will go out on Monday, if the printers run it over the weekend.”
“Well,” I said calmly. “You might want to get off that train then.”
“But why,” said Derek.
“Asking people to come and meet the author of a book about the infinite universe is one thing, but then saying ‘come early as ‘space is limited’ seems just a little contradictory,” I replied.
Needless to say he was off the train moments later and making his way back to the office. I hope your weekend is going to be more fun than theirs.
In the meantime I have just put up a new page called ‘I nearly got caught!’. Feel free to add your comments to it and tell your own story.
I had a very sweet email from a member today, and I think it worthy of sharing. As I do so, I hope you’ll enjoy this glorious video. It serves to remind us that, even among the turmoil and confusion, the world is still full of beautiful people. You are one of them.
In her message Erin mentions:
“It seems I can’t keep away. I’ve contacted you before. I’ve been a unicorn member. I have a profile on your site. You gave me the beautiful name Erin. But I’ve deleted my account and e-mail since then. I decided to stop exploring this side of me but it seems I can’t. I always get back here. I don’t know what to do.“
Erin goes on to say, “I’ve been back and forth so many times now that I can’t remember what I have and haven’t done. It is kind of stressful and I guess that is why it all becomes a bit blurry for me. I don’t know what to do. “
Well, I really do understand. While we are exploring, particularly in the early stages, we have little understanding of what is happening. Perhaps this is just a fun fetish, or maybe it’s something very much deeper. In either case, regardless of where we are on our particular journey, I tend to believe we are best trying to understand what is going on. As we learn more about ourselves, and what feels right, we get some good clues about where this is going. I know my own journey was anything but a straight line. It can be confusing and quite frightening at times. However, bringing things into the structure of a program allows us to develop in a more structured way, which so many have found more comfortable.
Additionally, while the stories and fetish side of the issues are fun, there’s also some good learning to be had from there. And diving deeper into my site you can find more information about the psychology of this ( https://fionadobson.com/tag/psychology/), the politics ( https://fionadobson.com/tag/politics/) and of course a bit of news ( https://fionadobson.com/tag/news/). As one does accept this side of oneself you will find yourself taking a deeper interest in some of aspects of the gender non-conforming life. This can be eye opening and surprising. My reply to Erin is below.
Don’t worry. This is a side of your life worth exploring properly and not being confused about. We can work together to help you feel a little better about things. The first thing I’d suggest is to listen to this – https://fionadobson.com/finding-your-place-on-the-gender-spectrum-with-lenni-and-jules/ – and really understand it. I’d also say that when doing the premium program you should allow yourself not only to dress and act in a feminine way, but allow your mind to also think in that same manner. Before long, if you give yourself to this, you will find that what you wear is really not important. It’s who you are and how you think. That rapidly becomes increasingly femme in nature. For some of us that will be expressed in clothing and mannerisms, but for some of us it is a far more psychological process. And then again, for most of us it is a combination of the those factors, resulting in us being the people we are meant to be.
I would encourage you to continue this exploration and not allow your concerns to hold you back. Only when we understand ourselves, after all, do we really start to understand others.
I think we’ve all felt like this at times. If you’d like to comment on this, go to the site and add a comment about your own experience. I know others will be interested.
As we explore we also realise this side of ourself has it’s own challenges to overcome. And we will overcome them, and I will be right here beside you as you do so.
That however is not the main reason I am writing to you today. There’s a couple of things to tell you. The first is that the new episode of Clothes Maketh The Man is out. Those of you loving Andy, or Andrea’s, adventures are going to enjoy this one.
The second thing I want to mention is that on my website I am increasingly finding it wise to place some of the content behind a password. Don’t worry, there’s no charge, nor requirement for a credit card. Don’t loose your password. I am doing this purely to add a little more security to the site and protect my members. This won’t affect those of you who prefer to see content in your email, however when browsing the site don’t be too surprised if you are asked to log in. If you’re not registered you can do that here – http://FionaDobson.com/register, and then you just log in at http://FionaDobson.com/login
I must say I find logging in a pain at times, too. The thing is I do have to protect some of the content especially in these times when the anti-trans voices are in the ascendency. If you’re not a paying member, don’t worry, you still have all the access you’ve always had. And, of course, you will still get email with topical and exciting content as ever. The other method of enjoying my content is on my Patreon – https://www.patreon.com/fionadobsonCD
The sun is out in Vancouver, and sailing is getting going. I’m going to do my makeup now and slip into a wetsuit.
Perhaps you already know this, but when I am not tormenting Sylvester, he of the bedroom eyes and the bathroom mind, I actually work for a living. As an account executive in an advertising agency, I am one of the busiest crossdresser’s that is ever likely to come across your desk.
As a crossdresser working in a busy advertising agency, I am often asked to involve myself on projects that are a complete waste of time, and serve no purpose whatsoever. With this in mind I've been forced to come up with ways to extract myself from situations in the workplace with apparently plausible refusals, without actually appearing to refuse at all.
This is a short but valuable guide for people who need to say 'no', without giving offence. In it I'll deal with a few suggestions, some of which will save your corporate career. There's a few things here that may have a practical application in the personal realm, but this is more aimed at the professional workplace. I know you'll find it to be of help.
I am currently trying to lift my presence on Patreon. If you’d like to help me by becoming a Patron I’d really appreciate it. As a token of thanks I am going to give away membership of our Elite Whatsapp Group to the next ten Patrons to sign up. That’s worth $10 a month and is a great supportive way to enjoy your dressing.
It’s been an exciting week for the residents of Huckleberry Close. My friend and mechanic Sylvester has been hosting his brother an unemployed cheesemonger from Uvalde in Texas. Diego is a volunteer police officer, which is like a real police officer but not quite.
“Diego,” I said, after serving an enormous breakfast, “do they give you a gun?”
“Oh, no. We’re not allowed to carry guns. Volunteer peace officers don’t get to do that. But we can operate the siren in the police car,” he told me.
“I expect that’s something,” I said.
“And we get this waist coat thing,” he said. “I’ll show you,” and then went out to his car and brought in a piece of equipment that looked very military with pouches and belt straps.
As luck would have it Sylvester and Diego had to hurry off shortly after this and it was only later that I saw the utility vest lying on my couch. On a whim I tried it on, and at that very moment I got a call from Rainbow, who as you know has become a full time student training to be a counselor. She was in a panic about having to get to an interview and her moped had broken down.
“Oh, Fiona! You have to help me!” she said.
Now, as you know I am a very sympathetic person. Indeed I have been told that in a crisis I am the voice of calm.
“Don’t worry, dear,” I said, sitting down on the sofa and tucking my legs beneath me, expecting this to be one of those conversations that go on much longer than they need to.
“But I’m such a mess! I’ve ripped my blouse and I have to get to this interview. And my hair! It’s a sight.”
“Darling,” I said. “I shall bring you a calming cup of komboucha, and sort out everything.”
With that I skipped upstairs, found a brush and some hair spray, and a little sewing kit. Realising I was still wearing the utility vest with the word “POLICE” on the back, I thrust the can of hair spray into one of the webbing pouches, did the same with the sewing kit, and slid my large Remington hair dryer into the holster and walked out to the car. Minutes later I drew up behind Rainbow, where she was pulled over on the hard shoulder of the hiway. I put the hazzard lights on just to be sure my vehicle was safe, and stepped out of the car.
Being a bright winters day I was, of course, wearing my aviator sun glasses.
“Rainbow, dear. Don’t you worry,” I said as I walked up to her dejected form. I could see she’d torn the sleeve on her blouse. What a sight she was. Her hair was all out of place, and she was clearly a victim of ‘helmet hair”.
“Oh, thank goodness you’re here,” she said.
“Let’s get you sorted out.” I said, “Just lean up against the car so I can sew that sleeve up nicely.”
Naturally I knew I’d not have the right angle to sew her sleeve if I did it in the car.
“That’s it, dear,” I said. “Just put your hands on the bonnet, so it hangs nicely.”
As she leaned against the vehicle I swiftly ran a few stitches along the ripped seem and moments later you’d never know it had parted. I then drew out the Remington and started blow drying her hair from behind.
That was when the police car pulled up behind me.
I suppose I should be grateful that here in Canada everyone knows everyone. It was David, our local police officer. You may remember I mentioned Jeff (https://fionadobson.com/lets-try-to-be-accepting-of-others/) to you, who looks after border control here. Well, David is his brother. Unfortunately he didn’t finish grade ten, and so never got into border control. Needless to say David took in the scene in an instant.
“That’s never going to work,” he said and got a better hair dryer from his holster. In a jiffy he had Rainbow in the back of his cruiser and drove her to the job interview, lights on and everything. We are so fortunate with our police here.
So, as you can see it’s never dull here. Now, this month I’ve been getting my Patreon running again, following the Twitter debacle. Yes, I got kicked, and yes 90,000 followers went down the river. I have been finding it so horribly toxic this last few years that I am not unhappy to be off it. However it has denied me a platform, so I am replacing it by returning to Patreon. Additionally I’ve added a special level there called ‘Behind the scenes with Fiona’ for those wanting to be a little more intimate with me.
I’ve also stepped into Mastadon, which I would say is very different from Twitter. It’s quite nice, but one has to get past the idea of building huge follower numbers. It’s more to do with engagement, and more importantly quality engagement. I can be found here – https://mastodon.online/@FionaDobson, if you’re getting into Mastodon.
This week I am highlighting a few articles on the site which you may find of interest. As you know I try to present a spectrum of content which is entertaining, informative and supportive. My intention is that whenever you swing by the site there’s something of interest for you. Doing my weekly email in this format may help you jump directly to what you find of interest.
If you come to the site you may find I am online and able to chat. I don’t keep set hours for this, so just drop by and see if I’m around. I do love to talk with my members, and I try to make myself available to guide you toward content that may be of special interest, or just to answer your general questions. I should also say that the new Patreon presence is beginning to really kick in. For the coming week I am offering anyone who joins any of the Patreon levels free membership of our Elite Whatsapp Group (worth $10 a month) just to get that going a little more swiftly.
So, without further ado, here’s the round up of this weeks content. Enjoy it, and if you feel generous join as a Good Gurl to enable me to keep producing fun and informative articles for you.
In an unusual look at how trans people are handled by the British medical system we see one persons experience. This serious account of how the medical profession wrestles with gender issues tracks the course of one person struggling to manage their transgender journey.
There’s ties when we feel the world is out of control. However, we can go some way to controlling our own body. Enjoy a gentle yoga session, which builds you hypnosis skills. Hypnosis requires you to calm your mind, and this helps considerably. Destress, and relax with this very feminine yoga session.
Well, what can I say. I think you know I love to go sailing, and fishing, and all those good things. However as a busy crossdressing advertising executive I do have to earn a crust.
I am pleased to say that the company I work in does embrace working from home. So, more often than not I do work from my kitchen table. All this is well and good. However, when a good friend suggests we head south for the winter and find warmer climes for a little, the appeal of being at home in Vancouver’s inclement winter weather being at home has its drawbacks. So much better to be working a stones throw from the beach in, say, Mexico.
With that in mind I packed up my swimsuits, bikinis and fishing rod and decided that this trannie needs an infusion of sun. For the next month I’ll be writing from Mexico and covering all my many responsibilities from a warmer location. Which is why right now I am wearing an orange bikini top, Daisy Duke shorts and sandals.
This comes at a time when I am seeing a great deal upheaval in the online world. Twitter unceremoniously dumped 10 – yes 10, count them – of my Twitter accounts. Over 90,000 followers left in the lurch. Thanks Elon, you fat douche. I’ve relocated to Mastadon – https://mastodon.online/@FionaDobson. However, I have always liked the ability to dash off a quick tweet to my members. This forced me into a little bit of a rethink. And the conclusion I reached was a little surprising.
A lot has changed online in the last three years. I’ve been connecting with my members for over six years now, and it will be seven in March. So, it’s unsurprising that the online landscape has changed a bit. About three years ago I got kicked off Patreon. Well, my content has shifted a bit, and Patreon’s policies have changed a little, so with the loss of Twitter I’ve decided to fill the gap by returning to Patreon.
My new Patreon presence is a little different though. This time round it will be a little more ‘behind the scenes with Fiona’ in it’s feeling. You can also now use that as a method to buy the other levels of membership – Good Gurls – Seahorses – Premium Program – but now I’ve added a new tier, Behind the scenes with Fiona. This is really for people who want to let me sit on their knee as I go through my daily adventures and tributlations. I’ll be sharing the day to day events of your favorite crossdressing advertising executive there for just $9.99 a month.
If you’re not sure about it give it a try for a month. You can find it here. Of course all my other content will be continuing as before, though now with some rather neat refinements to make it even more titillating. Sylvester loves it when I use that word, by the way. You know, he really can be rather coarse at times.
Of course, if you go behind the scenes with me you’ll be hearing a lot more information about what goes on in Mexico over the next month, and you can enjoy it directly on Patreon’s App. It’s a cool little set up. You’ll be helping me a lot if you go over there and have a look at it.
In the meantime, Just so you know, I am posting content virtually daily now on the site. There’s a lot of new material, and often you can visit the site and find me chatting there. It’s not a bot, it’s really me. I love chatting on the system with my lovely members.
I’m also pleased to bring something else to your attention. You may have heard Jules Sanderson voicing some of my stories lately. Well, Jules is a counselor and will be offering counseling to members who are struggling with gender identity issues. That will be happening in the new year, and will be billed out by Jules. If this is an area you feel you might need help in drop me a line and I will pass those enquiries over to Jules.
Now, there’s a young man looking at me quizzically and holding a couple of margueritas hopefully. I think I’ll invite him over to sit on my left hand while I proof read this message and then send it to you.
PS. Leaving Vancouver behind for a while is a double edge sword. I can’t bring all the things I love from that beautiful city. Enjoy Bryan Adams.
What a busy week it’s been . I’ve also nearly been rushed off my crossdressing advertising executive feet with work.
To give you an idea of my life at the agency I can give you a little window into typical day, since I know you’re sure to be interested.
Just yesterday I had to run into the office, which I generally avoid these days, but there were two or three meetings I had to attend. The agency handles a number of pro bono accounts for charities, and I often oversee these.
Called into the boardroom I listened to the new ideas for the Eczema fundraising campaign. Call it my sensitive nature, if you like, but when I get a good idea in my head it really is like an itch I have to scratch, which is why I keep such a tight handle on the accounts I run. I like to keep a close eye on the way the our clients are represented. I really don’t know why Desmond, one of the young account executives, would think that a scratch and win card would be an appropriate fund raising campaign for that particular account.
I was cornered at the watercooler between meetings at one point, by one of the boys in Creative.
“Fiona,” said Jeff, “you remember the lady that did that presentation on ‘Sexual Harassment in the Workplace’?”
“Which one,” I replied. “There were two of them. The tall one or the short one?”
“The one with the great rack,” said Jeff.
“Oh, that would be Joan,” I replied as I slipped away thinking that the workshop was lost on some of the boys in Creative. There was a smell of irony hanging in the air as I made my way back to my office to meet with the Leprosy Awareness Foundation delegation, who have asked us to come up with some ideas for their funding drive in a month or two.
An advertising agency brings a lot to a non-profit organisation such as this one. Sometimes the distance that an outside view can bring to an account will make all the difference. So, mentioning to the two very tightly wrapped and suited ladies sitting in my office, that a finger buffet may not be the best type of event at which to showcase their good work on behalf of the Foundation was something I had to tactfully suggest.
These are just some of the things that fill my day. You cannot imagine the relief of getting home, kicking off my heels and settling down for a nice cup of tea at the end of the day, Hannibal, my dachshund, sitting in my lap as I listen to a few gentle tracks to relax at the end of the day. I usually slip into some nice leggings and do a few stretches to finally let go of the office stress.
If you love to take great selfies, you might find the series I am running on the site this month of interest. You can find The Crossdresser’s Guide To Selfies HERE. Remember there’s a ton of free content on the site which you can access by drilling down through the tags at the end of the posts.
I do hope you’re enjoying the content on my site. If you’ve not already done so be sure to join one of my programs. If you’re already in one, thank you. I really do appreciate the support of my members. Oh, that reminds me! I have to prepare some ideas for a new client that manufactures brassieres.
Ali has been here in Canada for several years now, having arrived as a refugee along with his lovely family from Syria. As I have mentioned before he was a botany professor in Damascus University prior to the war there, and is now my gardener. His knowledge of fauna and flora really is most extensive.
Arriving from a country such as Syria one does have to check some of the experiences and baggage that we bring, at the door – as it were. Jeff, who looks after immigration at our local airport, says that most immigrants are all too ready to let go of the past and look forward to their new life in Canada. And many, like Ali, bring some wonderful talents to our communities, regardless of what they may have done in the past. Like many of us, Ali does not talk much about his former life. I imagine it could be quite dark but have had few glimpses of what it may have entailed. It’s really none of my business.
Jeff takes great pride in telling me that he checks the passports of all immigrants arriving at the airport (other than when he’s on his lunch break or picking up his kids from school). He says that Canada accepts the poor, the disadvantaged and the impotent. He then rather sheepishly adds that unfortunately, while the poor and disadvantaged regularly show up, unfortunately the impotent couldn’t come.
Ali’s language skills, however, appear to still require some polish. As I sat drinking my morning tea in my kitchen Ali joined me and flicked through the local paper that had just been delivered. I had just finished my daily yoga workout and was still in my pink leggings and powder blue sports bra, that’s so good for working out.
He took his tea black and was quite absorbed in the paper.
“It says here,” he said at length, ”that the city is going to have a ‘pilot racoon cull’.”
“It’s about time,” I said, knowing how mischievous the racoon population of Huckleberry Close can be. “They’re too clever by half.”
Ali frowned as he read the article.
“It’s just that you wouldn’t think they could do that,” he replied.
“What do you mean?” I said sensing something amiss.
Sipping his tea Ali continued reading without looking up and turned the page. “You’d think they’d fail the eye test. I did.”
I sometimes wonder about Ali and his command of English. It is, however, better than my command of his obscure dialect of Arabic. I’d given up my attempts to learn his language after failing to master such a simple phrase as “Is it safe to drink the water in this hospital?”
We all of us have our own particular perspective that brings a bit of ourselves to all we observe. As a crossdressing non-binary person, when I see a Zebra I do not take offence at the black and white nature of the creature. Ali, on the other hand, sees a majestic beast of the African plains while Sebastian sees a walking barcode. He then goes on to pretend to scan it in much the same way as the checkout girl in the corner store, and adds, “At least it’s easy to keep track of them.”
We all of us have our divergent ways of looking at things and each is equally correct. As trans people I think we have to learn acceptance of others with views that don’t align with our own. They, like us, are travelling their own journey. As people who are often misunderstood, it is up to us to try to understand others – the good, the bad and the ugly – with kindness and without judgement.
But that is not the main reason I’ve written to you this morning. I’ve been adding new content to some of my programs. They are now even better value than ever. Be sure to join if you’ve not done so already. I always do my very best for my lovely members.
I’ve just finished a busy week of work at the advertising agency. I’ve hardly had time to do the volunteering I love to do down at the SPCA. I often help out in their office. It’s so tiny, though. There’s hardly room to swing a cat in there!
I have however had time to get a little shopping in. I decided to pay a visit to the department store downtown, and Sylvester, my mechanic, joined me. When he’d finished going round and round in the revolving door he followed me into the lingerie department. He really can be infantile at times, you know.
Such a delightful way to spend the afternoon. Looking at lingerie with a neanderthal companion. He is however good at carrying boxes while I’m shopping. You can find some of my shopping list suggestions HERE.
In the meantime I thought you might enjoy the video below. It’s a talk by Paula Stone Williams. They transitioned in their fifties and experienced life as both a man and a woman. Their perspective is worth hearing. If you’d like more content on the psychology of crossdressing, you can find it on my site here – https://fionadobson.com/tag/psychology/.
Before I go any further, I should clarify something for Mildred from Colorado Springs, in response to your question of how to prevent her puppy stealing food from kitchen surfaces I had advised her to put it in the fridge. I was, of course, referring to the food, and not the dog. I understand Spot is making a full recovery, but now avoids confined spaces.
Now that things are a little less locked down I am having more guests over at my place. Last night Sylvester and I enjoyed a nice glass of wine while we waited for Marjory and Amanda, my wife’s appalling friend, to arrive for a night of board games. Apparently Amanda was a little late getting home, her industrial welding class having over run.
There’s no ‘f’ in ‘Trannies’ said Sylvester, as I arranged the letters on the Scrabble board.
“Don’t be so silly,” I said as I placed the lettered tiles on the board. “There, ‘Transference’ and the ‘T’ is on a double word score.”
I’ve been trying to keep Sylvester amused as he’s been moping about the place recently. I think he’s a little jealous of Marjory, who’s in a lesbian relationship with Amanda. All the same he did his best to be gracious, and put some music on while we played the game.
Marjory, who is very big on the competitive eating circuit, enjoys country music and Sylvester created a selection of Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson classics.
“Sylvester,” said Marjory, “You have such good taste. I’m a little surprised.”
Sylvester looked a little sheepish, and then Marjory added, “I’ve always liked Johnny Cash, but I’ve never really been a fan of Willie’s.”
Sylvester cast a sideways glance at Amanda, but wisely said nothing. Poor Sylvester.
But that’s not the main reason I’m writing to you tonight. I’m just letting you know that there’s a new episode of Clothes Maketh The Man out, part 52, and reminding all my members that I’ve recently added some wonderful new hypnosis files to the Seahorse Program. Mistress Meg has been particularly busy, creating some great material. There’s always plenty of hypnosis files on the site, many of which are free, and they can be found by following this link.
I have adjusted some of my pricing recently giving a discount to those booking for a one year subscription. Be sure to check out my programs here – http://FionaDobson.com/my-programs
First of all I should make a quick correction, for the benefit of one of my members who has contacted me regarding some confusion in advice I gave her recently. When I said that a pair of sugar tongs may be used to pull fur balls from a cat, I should have pointed out that these are found in the cat’s throat. Now that that’s clarified, I can get along with today’s post.
While I do not condone smoking in an way, I admit that at New Year I will sit in my conservatory and smoke a cigar with Sylvester to celebrate the arrival of the new year. I know it’s not very ladylike, but Mistress Meg and Katia Thornwood do enjoy the occasional puff and as long as it’s just once a year I don’t really have a problem with it.
As I sat in a ratan chair, blowing snow piling up outside the window, I remarked to Sylvester that nothing can really beat getting your lips round eight inches of Cuban and that it’s a lovely way to start the new year.
My long maxi pleated skirt fell about my stockinged legs, as we sat there watching the snow. I felt nice and cozy in the night, warmed by a sherry and a radiator which keeps this pleasant room toasty on cold winter nights.
Sylvester blew a smoke ring and then said, “I didn’t realise these cigars were from Cuba.”
“The cigars? Oh, no I think these are from Nicaragua,” I replied.
He really should follow the plot.
Anyway, that’s not the main reason I am writing. There’s a fun new self hypnosis on my site which I thought I’d tell you about. You can find it here.
I hope 2022 is getting off to a good start for you.
I’ve been having some dreadful trouble with my colon lately. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but ever since Max changed some of the settings on my computer keyboard I just keep getting a problem with it! I think he reset the layout to the French keyboard!
In the cold wintery weather we’re having I’m going to remind all my girls the importance of moisturizing your skin. Using a nice aloe cream helps, and you can find them at any pharmacy or health food store. It keeps you looking fresh and really helps your skin. You can also find some here.
I am busily chatting with a few of the suppliers who sometimes give some great discounts to my members. It’s always nice to nail down an agreement with a company that provides great clothes and makeup for my members. Be sure to check out my shopping list here.
I can see Ali working on my bush, in the garden – he’s saying something about that not being the only thing that going to get nailed. Ali’s English is very selectively intermittent.
Now, if you’re not already a member I suggest you do join up soon, whether you choose to as a Good Gurl, for just $1 a month, or one of the more extensive programs.
Oh, I have to go now… I can see Auntie Kittie heading up the drive, I’d better hide the sherry!
Have a lovely week and be sure to let me know how you’re getting on.
When Ali, my gardener, came in to my kitchen and announced that my next door neighbour, Marjorie, had old man’s beard in her bush I was most concerned.
“But Ali, you realise Marjorie is in a relationship with Amanda, don’t you?”
“It’s the same every year,” he said in frustration. “She doesn’t take care of her bush at all. And with this rain… It’s so moist. If she’s not careful it will get into our garden.”
“Well now,” I said feeling a little awkward and not quite sure where to look. “How very disturbing,” I said.
It’s so very easy to have misunderstandings when your gardener has an understanding of English that’s less than perfect. In fact, this very morning after I had pulled on some stockings and a lovely little kilt, I found myself answering one of the many emails I get to clear up a rather disturbing misunderstanding. Having advised one of my members, Mildred from Colorado Springs, on some issues she was having with training her new puppy she reached out to me feeling most distressed.
As you probably know I am a font of assistance to my members. I had, as I remember, suggested that to help her acclimatize the puppy to it’s new surroundings she should take the animal into each of the rooms in it’s new home in turn, and then put it down on some old newspaper. Well, you’d think those instructions were impossible to misinterpret. Apparently I was mistaken.
I really do make every effort to help my lovely members. And of course, that unusual group, my Seahorses, enjoy the attention of Mistress Meg, who has been busy uploading some new content to the site. If you’re a Seahorse member you may already be enjoying the excitement of The Stories Your Mother Never Told You. When one of Mistress Meg’s clients asks her to look after a journal written years ago by his mother she agrees to do so, on condition she can read the content. As she learns of his mother’s lascivious behaviour what can she possibly do, but read the content to her client, while he is bound and made to listen.
These disturbing accounts are perfect for my delightful Seahorse members. You can learn about Valerie and her friends in this 1950’s story that draws back the curtain on a decade of naughtiness. If you’re not already a Seahorse member you might want to join this special group in the run up to Christmas.
If you’re looking for ideas for a treat why not check out my Shopping list. There’s always ideas for a few fun things to get yourself there. And don’t forget, if you’re not already in one of my programs they’re a wonderful way to enjoy yourself over the holiday season.
Well, I thought what Sylvester was saying was that Hannibal, my dachshund had been interred. Wondering if this were some punishment for running wildly about the park, I assumed he meant he’d been taken by the bylaw officer. This is what you get for letting your friend walk your dog.
I’d have walked Hannibal myself, were it not for the fact that I need my legs waxed. Rainbow has been kind enough to come over to help, and after we’ve finished we’ll be enjoying an eggplant yoghurt facial she has concocted. As you can imagine I am using the term ‘enjoying’ advisedly. I’m sure you understand there’s a certain amount of scheduled maintenance has to happen to keep up appearances, as a crossdressing account executive at the advertising agency. Much as one would care for a beautiful object, or as Bernard, my photographer, put it rather unkindly a large public building.
Sylvester thinks Hannibal, who is extremely sweet particularly when he snarls at Amanda, is a chick magnet. Whenever he walks Hannibal young women who ought to know better come up to Sylvester and start fawning over him. I mean, Hannibal, not Sylvester. Fawning over Sylvester would be like fawning over a Caterpillar Tractor. As a result Sylvester enjoys walking Hannibal some days, usually after the local yummy mummies have dropped there screaming charges off at the Huckleberry Montessori Daycare Centre For Spoiled Brats.
He wanders around the park looking sombre and brooding like a poet or a man recently widowed who needs the loving embrace of a dissatisfied young mother. Preferably blonde, a former gymnast, and quite possibly with poor English skills.
“What do you mean, Sylvester,’ I said into the phone. “They can’t inter my dog!’
“No, he’s been ‘interred’. It’s a fancy way of saying he’s got very dirty.”
I paused. I think Sylvester has been spending too much time with Ali, my Syrian gardener.
“I don’t think that’s what that means,” I said. “If you mean he’s dirty I suggest you bring him back here and give him a good wash. And I don’t mean like last time.”
I could tell Sylvester was about to protest and quickly added, “Sylvester, throwing Hannibal’s ball through Mr. Singh’s car wash does not count as cleaning my dog. I’m still getting abusive phone calls from him from the last time.”
I hung up the phone and returned to the business at hand, Katia having recently arrived and was presently sitting with Rainbow and myself contemplating the yoghurt facial.
“Do you plan to eat it or fix the grouting with it?” she asked.
As you likely know, Katia Thornwood is what I can best be described as a disciplinarian, working with some of my Seahorse members. These are those special members who require that extra little helping hand in their dressing. Katia and Mistress Meg look after them and can be found on my Patreon. However, Katia was visiting my house to discuss some minor business matters and was looking forward to seeing Sylvester.
“He’s a very useful sort of chump,” observed Katia. “He leant me some of that very fine oil for a pair of nipple clamps I use on my visitors. I’ve been using them a while now, and I hardly hear a squeak out of them.”
“The clamps or the visitors,” I asked.
“Both,” she replied. “I have these rather frightening surgical shears I’d like him to oil. They’re most intimidating. They look perfect for castration.”
I winced a little and then said, “Well you can be sure your clients would speak highly of you after that.”
Katia sniggered and replied that they’re really just for show and insisted it’s good to maintain her tools.
What a great time to go out and find the perfect bikini. Here in Vancouver we’re living with some pretty nasty forest fires nearby, and smoke has become an issue. So many climate related issues reminds me of the importance of having exactly the right thing to wear as the earth spirals into global warming and frying us to a crisp.
I must say that last time I spoke to my good friend Greta Thurnberg I did say that as much as I just loved the idea of reducing our carbon footprint I thought she might put some energy getting a little makeup organised, and some nice footwear. I mean to say, if you’re worried about your carbon footprint it stands to reason that you should at least try to adapt with style.
All that said, it does rather strike me that the leaders of today, and I am thinking of Dickie Branson, Elon and Bezos, all of whom are doing their best to leave the planet, might temper some of their efforts and rather than burning rocket fuel in our precious atmosphere, try improving life down here instead. I can think of many people I’d love to shoot into space, but frankly none of those rockets seem to be very environmentally friendly. I mean, are any of these rockets ‘low emission’ models?
Be sure to stay covered up on days when there’s a high UV index. And check out this lovely swimsuit. Perfect for the well dressed crossdresser to wear for a day at the beach.
What an eventful week. It all started with Sylvester, but then doesn’t it always. He had a nasty fall from the toilet after a particularly strong curry. I have been trying to be as supportive as possible, visiting and bringing over things he needs while he rests up.
I should point out that over the years Sylvester has become much more than simply my mechanic. He is a dear friend and we often used to travel together. A couple of years ago we visited England and explored my childhood home on the Isle of Wight. Apart from doing a few touristy things, we did visit one of my neighbours who has been a friend of my since childhood. He lives on a neighboring farm and apart from the usual stock keeps a few chickens and rare avian breeds. I always look forward to seeing his woodcock, pullet and swallow.
And of course there’s always the fun of buying a few souvenirs to bring back to friends at home. Last time I remember we brought back sticks of rock for friends. I should explain that these are long shafts of hard candy about a foot long, often with the name of the place it comes from set into it. I don’t really think there’s a North American equivalent of this, much to the disappointment of dentists throughout the new world.
When I dropped off a few things to make Sylvester more comfortable while he rests up this week he asked me if I’d like to suck on his twelve incher, and then handed me a stick of rock left over from our trip. You can probably imagine how surprised I was. So many of my trips provide me with memories that will never leave me. At least, not without a long course of therapy.
I expect it will be a little while before we once again share the joys of being squeezed into economy seating on an airline next to a fat guy that brought his own salami. I may even get to the stage where I miss the body searches that Jeffrey at the airport always gives me when I arrive back home. Jeffrey is the sweet young man that looks after customs at our the airport. The last couple of times he’s insisted on doing the search even though I was just picking up a friend returning from a local flight and had just parked my car. He really is quite familiar. He could save us all a lot of time and just ask me out on a date, but I guess he’s just shy.
But that’s not the main reason I am writing. I have been so thrilled with the following I’m building on Patreon, I thought I’d give you a quick heads up. I will be putting the base program price up soon, so if you’re not already in there and want to get in to the $1 a month level it’s probably a good idea to get in there soon. As I said to Jeffrey last time I came through arrivals, as he gave me that knowing smile and pulled his glove on, “you’d better get in there quickly before I put it up.”
By the way I Max has posted my latest story on the Fiona Dobson Patreon, which you can access free here. It’s a cautionary tale for those members crossdressing in their senior years, and it’s really worth a listen.
We had a little socially distanced gathering the other day which I feel I should tell you about. Amanda, as you likely know, is my wife’s friend and the editor of Pig And Pig Farmer Weekly, the seventh most popular pig related publication in the Midwest. As such I have found inviting her to some brainstorming sessions has helped at times. On this occasion Bernard, my photographer, and Sebastian were also present.
Poor Sebastian, he’s very worried about his sister, who you will remember made a small error and applied for the job involving a little ‘light house keeping’, and is now positioned in the far north manning a navigation outpost alone in the northern arctic. Bernard is also feeling quite disrupted. He loves to go hunting and fishing. The cold months unfortunately reduce his leisure activities substantially. So, you can see the need for a something to destress us all seemed quite pressing.
“I think we should address the elephant in the room,” said Bernard. Naturally I glanced at Amanda. He continued, “we need some direction. Something to help us see past how difficult things are at the moment. We need some goals.”
“You are so right, Bernard,” I agreed. “It’s like my friend Justin said just the other day. Spring is coming! We should remember that!”
It’s not unusual for me to have a call from the Prime Minister’s office late in the evening, with Mr. Trudeau looking for a little advice. He often asks me for a helping hand, and I am always happy to give him one.
There’s a temptation to think of crossdressing as something people only do in the privacy of an intimate environment. In many cases that is true, though most of us would like to take it further, but stifle this desire.
Breaking out of this mold and dressing outdoors is a major step for many of us and leads to a better understanding of the fluid nature of our gender. Once the initial trepidation is over come – and, yes, I could write a book on that alone – then a new world emerges. It feels wonderful to find this, and for many it’s the first time they feel entirely comfortable and can be themselves.
As one enjoys the freedom to wear what we want, and be who we are, it starts to feel increasingly comfortable. I often point people toward this article to get a better basic understanding of crossdressing, and what it means to you. It’s the experience in the end that is our best teacher, though. It takes courage to make those first steps. You might think of it as the price you have to pay to be your true self.
I think it fair to say that one of my favorite occupations after I run screaming from my office at the end of the week, is to relax and settle down for a quiet weekend on the water. This is the time when, after the gnashing of teeth and sobbing generally has subsided that I can put my feet up, watch one or two friends trying to look masculine and impressive, and lament the absence of my wife, still unaccountably travelling in Europe.
If there was a week that would drive one to a gnashing of teeth, and generally pulling one’s hair out in frustration, it was indeed the week that has just ended. On the whole my clients at the advertising agency are a sweet and very receptive group of people. They accept my somewhat unusual approach to life, in exchange for some very sound advertising and marketing guidance for which I am grateful as it does provide me with a satisfactory income. Having said that, I despair at some of the clients.
“Swallow, Fiona!” said Sebastian, pushing me onward.
“But…” I protested, my mouth almost overflowing.
Rainbow, Sebastian’s sister, added, “Go on, Fiona. You’ve taken more than a couple of mouthfuls already.”
She gave me a knowing look and whispered, “I know you love it really!” Then she lay back on her yoga mat in my garden, the soft fragrance of lavender wafting over us.
I should explain, Rainbow and Sebastian are at my place this morning and brought some healthy kale and ginger smoothies with them. I know how good it is for me, so even though I may gag a little, I manage to force it down. I don’t mind Sebastian and Rainbow coming over for breakfast as long as we enjoy it in the garden, and maintain a reasonable social distance.
“It tastes very,” I searched for words, “…healthy.”
It tasted so healthy I wondered if I was going to throw up. It’s not the first time I’ve been exposed to this recipe. To be fair, one does feel wonderful when one finishes drinking it.
Sebastian is a very diligent personal trainer. This dreadful virus business has hit his business quite hard. He and his sister come over to my place every two or three days for morning yoga, which helps me keep nice and trim and as long as we are reasonably careful I feel glad of their presence. I get to dress in a beautiful leotard and tights as we do our yoga class, and Max my next door neighbor’s young son watches us through his binoculars from his bedroom window.
“You know,” said Sebastian, “your body is the sum total of all that you put into it. It’s best to choose things that are wholesome.”
I briefly thought back, remembering a long and and enjoyable youth, and smiled.
“See,” cut in Sebastian, “the thought has brought a smile back to your face.”
“No, you misunderstand,” I replied. “I was just thinking about a little encounter I had last fall. Very wholesome.”
However, that’s not the main reason I’m writing today. We’re living in turbulent times. You don’t need me to remind you of that. I do however want to encourage you to do a couple of things this week.
The first is to stay focused on social distancing and wearing a mask in areas where there are groups of people. Just because there’s a lot of protests going on, the virus doesn’t just go away. Guard your health with common sense.
Second, as I often suggest to my members, let’s not rush to judge others this week. Asking oneself, “what would I be doing if that were my brother?” is a good first step to trying to understand some of the events unfolding. Those of us who explore the gender spectrum understand about being judged harshly. Let’s try not to make that mistake with others.
If you’ve not already done so, be sure to join my Patreon. It’s just $1.99 a month and you know you’re going to get a lot of joy from it.
Enjoy the beautiful song by Marvin Gaye. Be sure to let me know how you’re getting along.