Hi,
After a busy morning I returned to my house today to find my wifeâs appalling friend Amanda waiting for me. Max had let her in, something Iâd warned him about, but he seemed to have forgotten. I was a little irritated as I had a lot on, and had to get to a jazzercise class which would start shortly.
As I hurried in Max silently mouthed his apology.
âHello, Amanda,â I said as I heard her beige trouser suit rustle in my direction and she appeared from the living room. âHave you been having fun on the newsdesk?â
âWhy, what have you heard?â she replied nervously.
I couldnât really imagine what fun one could have on the newsdesk of Pig And Pig Farmer Weekly, but didnât waste too much time thinking about it.
âI wasnât expecting you today,â I said. Had I known sheâd be coming I would have been out.
âWell, I thought Iâd stop by. Leoâs with me today,â she said, and glanced over her shoulder into the living room.
I should explain, and Iâd like to do this with the sympathy and delicacy this subject deserves, that Leo is what we used to call âdevelopmentally disadvantaged.â He is a very sweet young man, but has never really progressed beyond the early stages of mental development. Now, I should point out that in Canada we have a very inclusive approach to those less fortunate than ourselves, and we embrace those less able than the rest of us. Itâs a point on which we stand with great national pride. Not withstanding my recent unfortunate episode with a homeless person, I believe we measure ourselves as a nation by how we treat the less fortunate. To us, universal healthcare at no cost whatsoever, for example, is an absolute no brainer. Which, in itâs way makes what happened this afternoon even more difficult to relate.
I made my apologies to Amanda and said I had to hurry to get ready for my Jazzercise class, and had to change, and so hurried upstairs. I had washed and prepared a few things, and as I gathered them together and put them in my bag, I realised Iâd left some clothes lying in the living room.
I called down to Max, who came upstairs.
âMax,â I said, âI seem to have left some things in the living room. Some tights and a leotard, theyâre probably in the living room. Can you be a sweetheart and see if you can find them. I think they may be lying over the back of the chair by the window.
With that I changed out of my office clothes and into a light summer dress. Iâd slip into my dancewear at the studio.
It was then that I heard a commotion from downstairs, and the slamming of the front door. From my bedroom window I saw Amanda hurry to her Prius, and help her brother Leo into the passenger seat. I couldnât think what had caused such a commotion, and a moment later Max was politely knocking on my bedroom door.
I opened it and stepped out.
âWhat on earth was that all about?â I asked.
âI think I must have said something to upset Amanda⊠I donât know what I did. She just erupted.â
âMax, calm down. Iâm sure itâs nothing. Just tell me what you said.â
Max followed me downstairs, and recounted his words.
âI just walked into the living room and said to Amanda that you were changing upstairs and I had come down to find a leotard that was lying around in the living room.â
âThatâs all you said?â
âYes,â he said looking hurt.
âThose were your exact words?â I pressed him.
For a moment he closed his eyes, and then in a moment of reflection he said, âNo, wait a moment⊠I came through that door, and then I said âIs there a leotard lying around in here?â⊠And thatâs when she took off in a huff!â
âOh,â I replied. âYou donât think she thought you were referring to her brother, do you? I mean, his name is Leo⊠and he is⊠well, you know.â
We looked at each other ashamed of ourselves. I felt pretty sure I had an awkward phone call ahead to make to Amanda.
But thatâs not the main reason Iâm writing to you today. I thought I’d drop you a line and tell you about some of the spectacular leotards that you can find on my website. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. That’s quite a coincidence, isn’t it? They’re versatile and fun, and as you’ll see can be worn either in a very femme way, or quite an androgynous manner. Check out the page on my site that tells you about them and you’ll find they’re fun and can make you look great.
Till next week.
đ
Fiona
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