Purging – How to stop!

How to avoid purging your wardrobe.

Everyone struggles with this in the early stages of their journey. Those guilty moments of looking at a collection of clothes and saying to yourself ‘what am I doing?’, followed by throwing out sometimes expensive clothes.

You don’t have to do it this way.  There’s a few things that will help, and all you need to do is step through this simple process to remove the purging and save yourself some money. So, if you want to end that wasteful process, read this, and act on it. 

Step One.  Understand this is all about shame. You swing like a pendulum moving from excitement dressing, to shame and regret that you’re doing this in secret. You can start the process of getting past this by understand that there’s nothing shameless about this.  It’s simply a part of you longing for fulfillment. The simplest way to start getting over this is to using my hypnosis content.  Try this for a start.

Step Two.  You are going to need to start understanding what this is about.  If it’s more than a passing fetish (and it is if you’re really feeling shame), then you ae going to want to understand more about trans issues, and how it’s perfectly understandable and normal for many of us. You may not be a ‘woman’ but you may feel like one. That’s neither an illness, nor a sin. It may be a signal that there’s something going on you’re going to have to organise in your head. If you listen to some of the videos in my Featured Friends sections you will find that most of us are perfectly normal and reasonable people. We’re not freaks. We’re probably just like you. Below is a video by Contrapoints that’s a fun place to start but gives you some serious things to think about. Listen to it, and then come back to it again a day later and listen to it again. Understand it. This stuff takes time and is a lot to assimilate, but if you’re going to understand this stuff you need to do it.

Step Three. When you purge you’re probably tossing out hyper femme clothes you feel, in a moment of shame, are not ‘you’.  You’re going to change how you dress. Instead of buying some excessively feminine clothes, you can by more practical androgynous clothes that move you into a semi femme aesthetic. There will be time to buy the more femme clothes later. That’s not to say you won’t have any super femme clothes, but you will also have some nice simple androgynous clothing. Getting the pastel lambs wool sweater and the more feminine cut jeans will not arouse others concerns, but will allow you to dress in a more androgynous way any time you like.  Putting on a little eye makeup is all you need to present much more femme whenever you wish to. You’re not going to toss clothes like that and you won’t feel shame associated with them.

Step Four. This is not meant to be a hard sell. I don’t need to do that, and people in my programs know it’s not my way. However, to send your expensive habit of purging clothes you will help yourself enormously if you join my Premium Program, because it will help you learn more and accept more about yourself. This is all about understanding your gender, and accepting yourself. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about being who you are. So subscribe to the damned program and stop wasting money!

These steps will help, if you do them. If you don’t, well I’ll see you back here when you do it all over again, because this thing doesn’t just stop. It’s part of you.

FD

Turtleneck Batwing Long Sleeve Ribbed Knit Casual Soft Pullover – $45.99

The way we think about biological sex is wrong – Emily Quinn

Crossdressing – Keeping it in the family.

Does the family know? Do you share it? There’s a lot of questions about crossdressing, and gender fluid life that are likely to emerge. How does one handle that? Enjoy this discussion with Jules and Lenni, as they explore the subject.

 Graphic Color Block Button Down Shirts Short Sleeve 80s Blouse Top – $28.99

Trans people are not defined by their transitions.

@gloria_swansong #stitch with @mags_a_million Let’s clear the air on what Transgender means and what the movement is all about. #trans #transnonbinary #transhistory #lgbtqeducation ♬ original sound – Gloria_Swansong

Let’s clear the air on what Transgender means and what the movement is all about.

Transgender is about transversing genders, spanning the space between male and female. It is a broad term and doesn’t specifically define one gender expression.

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What doctors should know about gender identity.

Many of us look to the medical profession for guidance. Sometimes we should think twice about that. Our own communities are stronger and more educated than theirs. Until they get their heads around non-binary gender issues we should tread with caution.

FD

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How crossdressing can change the world.

I was sitting in my kitchen this morning, a skillet sizzling on the hob spilling delightful aromas out into the garden, when I heard the sound of Sylvester’s chopper drawing into my driveway. Sensing the presence of sausage he often unaccountably appears. Now, the same could be said of some of my gurlfriends, but that really is another story.

Arriving just as I was about to pour the coffee, Sylvester showed up with his niece, a glorious young creature of thirteen.

“Fiona, this is Anastasia,” he said as he entered. “She’s heard so much about you, she said she’d like to join

Continue reading “How crossdressing can change the world.”

One of the members of our Whatsapp Group just posted this…

Lenni, a cis female member of our Whatsapp Group posted this to the group and it came to my attention. It’s a beautiful short movie, poignant especially at this time. Please watch and share.

At a time when youth need all the support they can find, this hits the target beautifully. Our Whatsapp group is here to support all comers. Lenni and her wife have been LGBTQ activist for the last 25 years. It’s hardly suprising that such a supportive message should emanate from her.

FD

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Let’s go back to basics.

So many of my members have spent years suppressing their desire to dress, and only once it is indulged do they find a sense of joyfulness. Sometimes this is accompanied by feelings of shame and guilt, and it all seems very confusing.

Suppressing these feelings can result in frustration and depression. Often members report that they never understood why they felt so lost, until they began to allow this side of themselves to emerge.  Prior to embracing their gender fluidity they report feeling lost and fail to understand ‘why is this happening to me’?

For the vast majority of my members it’s about easing into a more comfortable place on the gender spectrum. For some it may be as simple as becoming just a little more androgynous in the way you dress and think. Others will of course find they do want to allow themselves to become far more feminine. I’ve certainly found that many people now go as far as using HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), either herbal or pharmaceutical, without any desire to go for full surgery.

In the end my Premium Program is created to help you find the appropriate place on the gender spectrum that will work for you and fits with your lifestyle. There’s an expression in the LGBTQ community, which originated in the gay and lesbian world, but is very applicable to those of us who consider ourselves to be gender fluid.

“We don’t raise our young. Instead they have to find us.”

Some of us take quite a while to find our tribe. This can take the form of people in your own community or even systems like my Elite Whatsapp Group – where many people find support and friendship. Hopefully we get there in the end. That’s when things start to make a little more sense.

Fiona

Sometimes the smallest things give us away.

I received a lovely message this morning from one of my members, Leticia. They wrote a lovely description that I feel I should include below.

“It’s always a treat to hear from you, your stories are so clever and sexy.  I am fortunate to live on the outskirts of a small town, and the road out front leads into open country, through farmland all the way to the state line, and across a river.  I try to take a long walk every day, and it’s a perfect chance to practice my feminine walk, flowing with a graceful sway.  I am wearing running shoes, but I don’t need high heels to swing my hips. It helps me feel like a woman.”

This reminded me of an incident many years ago. I felt it worth recounting, as sometimes we give ourselves away without even knowing it. You can see my reply below.

Hi Leticia,

What a lovely picture you paint. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful members. You remind me that once, years ago, I had a friend who was studying kinesiology. They watched me walking down the street one day, before I’d really emerged as being so very gender fluid and came running along after me very excited.

“Do you know,” they said, “that you walk exactly like a woman. I can see your hips swinging and the motion you use in your gait – it’s so very feminine. I’ve not seen that so pronounced before… in a man. I mean, it’s sort of unusual.”

My acquaintance was suddenly aware that their enthusiasm for their study and their observation were a little inappropriate, and a moment later they felt quite awkward. I don’t think they realised that they’d seen something that was developing and growing within me and that it would become quite impossible to suppress. It was most enlightening, though I don’t think they really realised just how very deeply ingrained that characteristic was.

🙂

Fiona 

Sometimes who and what we are emerges in ways we least expect. I have learned not to fight it, but to just allow it to happen. I hope you do too. 

You’ll see that throughout my website and the contents of my Patreon I talk about accepting yourself as you are, and creating yourself as you desire.  Sometimes we can’t really help it.

Have you experienced similar moments of revelation? Be sure to tell me about them in the comments below.

😊

Fiona 

Do you know who you are?

We are all put in boxes by society, family and the wider world. Gender, once considered a fact – is now understood to be more fluid and mysterious. In this heartfelt talk Geena Rocero tells her story.

Gender is a construct.

As people explore ideas about gender it can be helpful to learn from others who have walked this path or one similar to it. Gender Rebels is a podcast that explores the issues and has some informative content that can help us with our views of how gender impacts us, and how society perceives gender.


We are outsiders.

We are outsiders.

We are outsiders,

On the periphery,

Watching everyone else,

Pretending we’re like them,

But knowing we’re not.

The best we can hope for is to find a place where we don’t have to pretend.

Is home a place to run to, or a place we run from?

Only to hide out in places we’re more accepted, unconditionally.

Places that feel more like home to us,

because we can finally be who we are.