When Jodi wants to remind her husband who the boss is she simply goes to the lingerie draw and pulls out a nice new gift wrapped box and hands it to him. Inside is his reward for being such a sensible man and doing as she wishes.
“He’s always the same. He can barely help himself,” she says from her Salt Lake City home. “He practically destroys the box as he’s trying to open it. I watch with a mixture of excitement and amusement. It’s quite fun seeing what a total slave he is to this.”
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Remembering that this is all about timing, we’re going to move a conversation into the area of fantasies. This should not seem forced, so pick you time carefully. Don’t just say “The weather’s nice for the time of year, and by the way, what do you fantasise about?”
Wait for your moment. Approach the subject with sensitivity, and be gentle. Tell her you would love to know what she fantasises about, because you want to make her happier and to serve her sexually as well as you can.
At this stage you’re beginning to move your partner toward acting in a specific manner with you. She’s been primed, sees herself as a liberal thinking and open to intimate suggestions (after all, everybody sees her that way), and she sees herself as being in control in a liberated and powerful way.
The next step is once again a subtle progression in the direction you’re trying to go. When you’re out with your wife and she’s buying cosmetics take an interest. Ask why she likes one brand of make up over another. Be sure to have a sincere interest.
In our last session we got you to think about presenting the idea of how you’d like to look so much better, and you mentioned you are aware how some people look so much more groomed. You complimented your partner on their looks and their skills making themselves look so manicured and refined.
The first thing to remember here is that your going into this with a plan. You’re not just going to spring it on her, and hope for the best. Far from it. By the time the issue comes up you’re going to have laid the groundwork for this to work beautifully.