I am often asked by my members how they can hope to find a woman who will dress them. Many times, I tell them, they’ve probably already done so. They just don’t really know how to identify them, or how to talk to them.Continue reading “Recognising women who enjoy crossdressers.”
When a partner decides they want to explore the gender fluid world of crossdressing it’s going to introduce some new strains on a relationship. But does it have to be the end?
I see a lot of comments on forums and blogs about the idea of labels. It seems to be a common pass time to try to decide if transgender people are the same as transvestite people – and some terms are now archaic, and others have slipped into alternative use. One way or another I find it a complete mine field.
I am certainly not going to step into those debates. I do understand that there are many different types of people who choose to wear women’s clothes. Some are on their way to transition, others are choosing to put something on as they really find a sexual high out of it. Others still simply want to allow their femininity to blossom. Personally I am enjoying navigating the middle ground between genders that allows me to enjoy something of the best of all worlds. I think we cater to all of those possibilities here on FionaDobson.com.
I find the term ‘gender fluid’ fairly generic. The movement freely and easily between genders does describe what many of my members do, if not who they are. And there I think lies the safe ground. After all, do we really need these labels? Particularly here, if we really think of the phrase ‘Accept yourself as you are, create yourself as you desire’ you’ll see we are not really interested in what others think or how they choose to judge us.Continue reading “Let’s not get hung up on labels.”
I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day. We were discussing how hard it is to take those first few steps outside as a crossdresser.
The circumstances of these first few steps are always daunting. Regardless of whether these are taken in the confines of a drag club or stepping out into an unfamiliar environment they are likely to be a few steps that are never forgotten. But is there any way we can make it easier? And should we?Continue reading “One small step for man — one giant leap for personkind.”
Lenni has some great advice for anyone who is judging how a crossdresser looks. If this episodes sounds like it was recorded in a field near an airport, it’s because it was.
Many crossdressers dread the idea of telling their family and fear the consequences. In this conversation we explore what there is to be learned from other LGBTQ groups and how they come out.
A short talk about how to crossdress and talk with a reluctant wife or partner.
It’s a common problem. You have a healthy desire to explore gender alternatives but neither the experience nor confidence in the process to do it alone.
In this situation instead of the joy of the journey many people find themselves feeling guilty and ashamed. Where’s the fun in that? A part of them which should be celebrated is instead suppressed.
It doesn’t have to be that way.Continue reading “Help, I can’t find anyone to dress with.”
Many of my crossdressing friends tell me that they feel confused and often afraid about continuing to crossdress within their marriage. In many cases they feel uncomfortable about where it may lead and guilty about these desires.
There’s a struggle that takes place trying to justify the idea of dressing, and the guilt of doing so and hiding the fact. On the one hand there’s a desire to be open and honest with a spouse, on the other the fear of misunderstanding, or even the thought that simply crossdressing may lead to infidelity. Well, before we go much further let’s dispel a few myths.Continue reading “Fitting crossdressing into a committed marriage.”
You might wonder what all this says about you when you are not dressed. The answer is simple – not much. The process of dressing, for many of us, is a release, much the same as doing anything where you can let go and relax. You let go of stress, or worry and of the things you’d like to escape for a little. Nothing more.Continue reading “Exploring Identity – Part 2”
As you start talking more freely with your partner about the changed that you’re experiencing, there’s going to come a moment when you decide to move the conversation from talk to action. The best way to do this is to have a goal in mind that your partner is invested in.Continue reading “Introducing your partner to the gurl within #4”
When it comes to broaching the subject of how you are changing, the way we speak about our shifts is every bit as important as what we say. It’s important to address this calmly and in a well-chosen moment.Continue reading “Introducing your partner to the gurl within #3”
Gradually introducing your partner to the gurl who is inside you is a process best handled in a slow and sensitive manner. Many partners will recoil from this if it’s not handled in a very precise way.
Most of my members have partners, and some are lucky enough to have open minded lovers who are involved in the joy they find crossdressing. For those of use who have this wonderful situation dressing becomes a delight shared between two (or more) and takes on a new dimension.
Some don’t have this opportunity. Sadly they feel they can’t or shouldn’t bring their partner into this side of their life. There are certainly many times when this is a wise and expedient decision, and one that can still work well for a crossdresser. As we explore in the Premium Program, there are ways to still allow the feminine side of your personality to emerge safely and in appropriate ways. However, there are some members who desperately wish to bring this into their life, but simply don’t know how to approach the subject with a partner that may not be what we could describe as receptive.
Some partners are so far from receptive that they have the car packed and the GPS set to drive to their mother before you can say, “I was just trying it to see if it went with my hair!”