Max, my neighbour’s son, came round this morning. He was full of patriotic fervor, as it’s Canada day. He was wearing his red and white tea shirt, and his strong muscles quivered beneath the cotton.
“Fiona,” he said excitedly, “Can I look at your beaver?”
I shifted uneasily. It’s not like Max to be quite so forward.
“Your beaver… Mother says you have a very special one!”
This seemed a little odd.
“She says you had it specially mounted,” he continued.
“She did, did she?”
“Yes, and put in a glass case.”
I suddenly remembered the revolting piece of taxidermy my wife’s equally revolting friend Amanda had left in our garage storage area. It was a beaver in a glass case.
“Of course you can, Max. You’re such good boy!”
Today, as you likely know, is Canada Day. This is the day on which Canadians celebrate the founding of our great country. Now, for those of you who are not Canadian and are hard at work – and from some of the emails I’ve been getting, I can honestly say I mean that in the most literal sense – I want you to try and share in my happiness in this day.
As you probably know I live in Vancouver, that most cosmopolitan of modern cities. Here we enjoy a wonderful tradition of music, performance and fun.
Not to forget my American cousins, I hope you too have a wonderful Fourth Of July. Here’s a nice video to help you celebrate! This is very funny – https://youtu.be/n2b3mkipd3U
So, on this special day join me in celebrating Canada. Think of it as embracing your inner beaver. I know you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.
Fiona
You can see all sorts of things if you pay attention. Some stores have these massive, clean cocks, mounted on spits. they look so juicy, I can barely hold myself back from gobbling them up.
Duck sauce goes best, I think.