As we kiss goodbye to a hot summer it’s time to start adjusting your look. Just think of all those lovely russet hues that you can lean into!
I was just saying to Sylvester this morning, “It’s a time to start adjusting into the warm colors of the fall.”
Sylvester is very touchy these days, what with Amanda travelling the competitive eating circuit with Marjory, my next door neighbor. He does get quite jealous. She’s been gone for weeks. It’s a wonder that Pig and Pig Farmer Weekly hasn’t gone into terminal decline. I understand she edits the trade publication even while on the road.
For Sylvester, putting together a fall wardrobe consists of switching the denim blues to the Carhartt browns, though I have to admit Carhartt does have some functional women’s workwear these days – https://www.carhartt.com/c/womens
It’s rather hard for Sylvester to compete with Marjory, for that beating lump of gristle that passes for a heart inside Amanda’s breast. Marjory is even more down to earth than Sylvester, and she just blunders forth. It’s quite remarkable to me that she ever gave birth to such a sensitive boy as Max, who as you likely know, looks after the technology things for me. Marjory is the kind of person that announces her pregnancy by switching to menthols. She even has a sticker on the back of her truck that says, “My other car is also a truck.”
A gold star dyed in the wool lesbian if ever you saw one! You just have to love her!
Sylvester can’t really compete, although he does turn a few heads down at the hockey rink when driving the Zamboni. Some women are just impressed by the wheels. Honestly! Men! It’s all rather infantile if you ask me. A little like the time he tried to help his friend Roland with his circus act. Roland is a talented spoon thrower. Yes, I know – it’s all to do with the terms of his parole. But you get the idea.
I could not help noticing, whilst driving home from the advertising agency the other day, the names on the back of vehicles. The model names of vehicles are of interest to me, from both the branding perspective and what it tells me about the drivers.
Have you been reading ‘Clothes Maketh The Man‘? Enjoy the ongoing serial now in its third year.
A therapist member of mine recently pointed out to me that several of their erectile dysfunction clients did indeed drive muscle cars, in more than one instance a Hummer. Frankly I feel anyone driving a Hummer should be on their knees begging forgiveness from their children as they pump heat into an increasingly fragile environment. On the other hand, given the erectile dysfunction issues associate with Hummer ownership theirs a good chance that having children is one complication these thoughtless tools will not have to concern themselves with.
Sylvester, on the other hand has shunned the muscles cars
and even removed the photo on his office wall of him posing with his Dodge
Penetrator 3000. I am pleased to see him mellowing. I do remember the day he
pulled up outside my house, on his phone calling me to tell me he was there.
āIām just pulling into your garage,ā he said. āNo wait, Iām
reversing. Pulling in againā¦ backing up,
and going in again now. Perhaps I should go in the laneway round the back. I
can get the back way, but itās a bit tight.ā
You know, I may have said this before, but Sylvester can be
quite coarse at times.
Personally I like to drive a Buick Vagina. Itās the limited Silhouette
edition. So much more my style. Both feminine and powerful, with the twin turbo
V6 with the cuddle seats option.
Vehicle names and designs do tell us a lot about their
drivers. I noticed a Kia Soul in the traffic as I was driving home, and I can
only speculate that some Korean designer sat down and thought hard about what a
car designed for Spongebob Squarepants might look like, and then took up the
challenge to build it. Ironically the driver of this particular vehicle did
look like a cartoon character.
Sebastian, my vegetarian personal trainer, drives a Kia Hymen when not riding his electric bicycle. His sister, Rainbow, drives a Nissan Slide with a synchromatic gearbox. Amanda drives a Prius, which is entirely predictable, while of course Ali, my gardener, drives the Smart Car with a rifle rack on the rear window, adapted to carry his gardening tools. Heās proud to declare he always shows up with his hoes.
One of my Vancouver members, Lenni, is originally from
Alaska, and proudly tells of her mother having driven a Ford LTD wagon. This vehicle,
with a 7.5 litre engine has the dubious distinction of being capable of hitting
a moose, killing it, and then being able to transport it back to the trailor
park for butchering. I canāt help thinking life in Alaska holds wonders I am
pleased not to have either witnessed or shared.
Instead I think Iāll go and get Sylvester to change the
fluids in my Buick Vagina.
I was lamenting the passing of our Queen yesterday, along with a huge number of people. My voice need hardly be added to the outpouring of regret by so many others, and yet I do feel a sense of loss. The Queen was, after all, an influence my entire life, and thereās no doubt about it, whatever else she was, she really was a likeable sort of monarch.
It was fitting that I wore a nice black sweater, black stockings and a black kilt yesterday. On that slightly mournful note, I have some lovely crossdressing funeral ideas HERE.
After my yoga session this morning I was sitting in my kitchen, enjoying a calming cup of tea with Sebastian, when he started telling me the news about his sister, Rainbow.
āRainbowās not seeing that optician anymore,ā said Sebastian a little mournfully.
āIām sorry,ā I said, confused.
āTheyāve broken up. Itās a pity, I think he was very good for her,ā continued Sebastian. āApparently when she said she couldnāt see him anymore he told her to stand a little closer, and then said āAnd now?āā
I looked at Sebastian and tried to figure out if he was joking.
āWell, Rainbow has some unusual ideas,ā I said.
āShe certainly does. She told me she felt their energies didnāt āco-mingleā they way she wanted,ā he concluded, looking through the window into the far distance in deep contemplation.
I tell you this as much as anything to set the scene. The window that overlooks my garden is really quite lovely but of late I have had Ali trimming some of the bushes just around the base of the window. Heās a talented gardener, and moves quite silently about the place, his long white gown floating like some ethereal gardening spirit. Now and then he stands up, his head appearing in my wind, and says something before once again going down on hands and knees working on among the foliage of my beautiful flowers. It can be quite disconcerting at times. Heās just like a Syrian Jack In The Box, appearing out of nowhere. It can be quite startling.
Rainbow isn’t seeing the optician anymore.
It was in this tranquil scene of quiet contemplation as I sipped my chamomile tea that Aliās wizened head appeared, rising out of nowhere and chimed in, āTits like coconuts.ā
I steadied my nerves as Ali sank out of my line of vision, and then rising and leaning out of the window looked down into the flower beds and said, āI beg your pardon?ā
Sebastian struggled back onto his stool.
Ali surfaced back into view and replied, āYou were saying how much you like the birdsong of summer, and wanted to attract more birds into your garden.ā
I stared blankly before remembering a conversation weād had just the other day. I do like to attract wildlife into the garden, and had asked Ali if he had any thoughts on the matter.
āOh yes,ā he went on. āLotās of birds love coconuts. If you hang them on a string from one of the trees itās sure to attract a few. You know, tits, chaffinches and sparrows. They all love coconuts.ā
I slowly sat down once more, and thanked Ali for his contribution to the conversation. I really do wonder just how much English he understands, at times. I may have to talk with his English teacher.
I do hope youāre having a delightful end of summer. Be sure to have a look around the website ā thereās a lot there and I always try to keep things fun.
Every now and then a piece of music comes along that really touches me. My good friend Nikita recently sent me this. A talented musician herself, she sent me this after we’d shared a coffee in Vancouver.
Well now, where to start? Let me put it this way, I am from England. Where the history comes from. And where I come from we have a certain cultural threshold. We learn Greek mythology in school.
Or at least we did. These days itās probably considered elitist. Along with confidence, having civic values and a sense of national pride. But either way, we have this in built radar that comes on when we hear pseudo (thatās a Greek word, by the way) intellectuals spout Greek names ā particularly if they are not English pseudo intellectuals. It clicks on and a siren goes off in our heads along with flashing red letters saying āFRAUDā.
My radar clicked on recently when the name of a NASA space craft quite suddenly seemed to be on everyoneās lips. Artemis. Everything now is āArtimisā this, and āArtimisā that.
Hang on a moment. Let me tell you a little about Artemis. And to make it more interesting, to me at least, I will myself play the role of Artimis to illustrate the point. Picture me naked. Tall, hair falling over my classically ample breasts. Yes, a fine figure of a Greek Goddess, all smooth skinned and with a bust that looks like it was chiselled out of marble. Well, weāve all got to have a reference point.
Beside me are my lovely Greek garments, lying on some warm stones beside a forest lake in which I am bathing. Sunlight dapples the surface of the lake as I walk into it slowly, wavelets radiating out from my form as I proceed, a vision of grace and beauty. The water is cool, and as any goddess worth her salt is inclined to do, I have walked slowly into the pond till waist deep, the dark waters cooling my body from the warm summer sun.
Oh, the luxury of it. My hair slick and wet, the water caressing my skin, and my breasts pert and firm, the nipples erect in the fresh cool clear waters. As I lay back and feel the refreshing movement of water over my soft skin something catches my eye. A movement. Could this be another godly creature come to join me? Perhaps that curious new goddess Tracy, goddess of Essex girls, come to explore those unnatural urges she has been experiencing recently? But, no!
A rustling in the undergrowth. Is that a mere human? Oh, my stars. It is! A hunter has seen this godly body in all itās glory. And in my case he really would be confused. But who could it be, I hear you ask, as well you might. Itās that Actaeon, some hunter up from the village to come out hunting with his damned dogs, a vicious bunch of curs they are too, slobbering everywhere. And a brutal sport it is, hunting defenseless deer and setting the dogs on them.
As I swim naked in the forest lake, this perv is watching me like some sort of beta incel. As much as I try to cover my body, I cannot mask the shame I feel in my beautiful nakedness.
Well, I think you can imagine this isnāt my idea of how to take a lovely naked swim all on my lonesome. Incidentally, Iām drawing on what Lenni described as her experience on a workshop on a remote BC island recently. Those of you who listen to Lenni and Jules know who I’m talking about. Anyway, Lenni was swimming around like a mermaid in the moonlight some nights completely starkers in good Canadian fashion, and I had the pleasure of a running commentary.
Getting back to me swimming in a forest lake, there I am, and this filthy incel perv starts watching me from the bank. I think you can imagine, as a Greek goddess Iām not going to let this pass lightly. And this is where I start worrying a little about NASAās choice of nomenclature. You see, as much as these early steps into space seem to be all about enlightened exploration and peaceful curiosity, then why name one of these missions after someone like Artemis. I say this, because when Artemis learned she was being spied upon by some pervert on the shore, she did something few would classify as either peaceful or enlightened.
Artemis immediately turned Actaeon into a stag and whipped his dogs into such a frenzy that they turned on their former master and ripped the flesh from his body, feasted on his liver as he screamed and begged for forgiveness, and then gorged themselves on his flesh as he died in excruciating agony witnessing the vile sight of his own carcass being slowly consumed by his loved dogs. One canāt help but think that, if some alien race has access to the internet, theyāre going to be mighty interested in the fact that weāre naming our space craft after such ethereal entities. I have a bit of a problem with space exploration, to be honest. While I am a total trekkie and can name the five types of propulsion of an Intrepid Class starship, the prospect of fat rich white people flying around the solar system seems to fly in the face of good taste to me. Each time I see a rocket blasting off I have to wonder if our atmosphere isnāt already hot enough without these extra carbon emissions. And worse than all that, the space suits! I mean, really. White? No one looks good in white! And those boots. A heel wouldnāt hurt.
But all that aside, is this really the moment? After all, democracy is on the slide, weāre watching Russians kick nuclear power stations in Ukraine just to see what happens, inflation is on the rise and Trumpā¦ Well, just bloody Donald Trump! Hadnāt we better spend a little more time sorting things out down here for a bit?
I hope youāre having a blast off of a week. Unfortunately my spies are telling me that Artemis might not be going anywhere this weekend after all. Not to worry. We can dream of feeding incel perves to hunting dogs as well down here as we can on the moon, in true human style. After all, we come in peace, right?
We are all put in boxes by society, family and the wider world. Gender, once considered a fact – is now understood to be more fluid and mysterious. In this heartfelt talk Geena Rocero tells her story.
We all need it. And the underwear to go with it! Have you chosen your little black number yet?
Here’s a quick tip. Having exposed shoulders works well if you have a very feminine upper body. However, many of us will want to cover our shoulders and break up the shape of the upper body. Try something like the ones below for a comfortable and pleasant shape.
āI told you before,ā said Samantha, āYouāre going to wear this lovely hoodie I just got from Amazon. Look, itās the perfect size!ā
āBut I donāt want to wear it,ā replied Darren.
āYes, you do,ā retorted his wife, as she looked for a summer dress in the bedroom closet. A nice pink one might be just the ticket.
āItās a company function, I canāt possibly wear that!ā he said in frustration.
Samantha adopted her most patient demeanor, and repeated, āYouāre going to wear it. Think of it like this, you can pretend to be the wife. Youāll like that.ā
With that she slipped her jeans off, and started to go through some of the summer dresses in her wardrobe. The heat of the summer was dissipating, but she could still get away with something revealing her perfectly tanned shoulders. She also like the soft materials, and gentle colors.
Trying a slightly different tack she added, āBesides, look how well these colors go with my dress?ā
āDarling, it makes me look soft. Itās not manly,ā said Darren. āEveryone is going to be wearing the tee shirts with pictures of cars, or motorcycles. Did you see that thing Steve wore last year? It had the picture of an F22 jet on it. He said something about it being āpower dressingā.ā
āNo self-respecting teenager would wear that, as you well know,ā responded his wife. āThink of it as just being your true self. Gurly dressing. After all, thatās what you like, isnāt it? Besides, theyāll just assume youāre striking a blow for trans rights.ā
āI donāt want to blow anything,ā said Darren, an air of dejection in his voice. He knew there was little point arguing with his wife when she had set her mind to something.
Samantha sat on the bed thinking about which summer dress would be best, her full breasts gently rising and falling with her breath. The summer afternoon light caught her beautiful honey colored hair just perfectly and her beauty almost made Darren catch his breath.
At length she said, āThatās not what you said last night.ā
Darren shuddered. He hated it when she brought up things like this outside of their sexual activities.
āDonāt say that, darling,ā he muttered awkwardly.
āOh, come on. Own it, Darren. You told me you wanted to suck cock, and at the time you were wearing the panties Iād bought you. Do I really have to remind you?ā
āThat was different.,ā he replied feeling embarrassed.
āOh? And you seemed quite happy to wear my robe, and those heels,ā said Samantha. āNo, missy, youāll wear what youāre told to wear. Besides, you practically begged me for anal last night. Iām likely to be more forthcoming if you do me the favor of wearing something appropriate. Who knows, perhaps tonight is your lucky night.ā
āYouāre going to make me wear thisā¦ thisā¦ flaming gay hoodie to a company function?ā protested Darren.
āYes, darling,ā said Samantha, pulling on a summer dress that complimented the hoodie. āIf you want me to accept your dressing up then I expect you to dress in a nice way. Besides I picked this one out specially. I think itās very feminine, without being too obvious.ā
āLook at those colors! It makes me look like I am some sort of dick hungry whore!ā said Darren.
āBut darling, when you were inside me last night, and I told you to say āI need to suck dick!ā thatās precisely what you were. I only want you to dress the part. Is that really so bad?ā
Samantha would not be moved, and eventually Darren did pull on the hoodie. It was just the company picnic, after all. No one would be wearing work clothes. All the same, he felt he was taking a terrible risk.
āThere you are!ā said Samantha. āNow, if you are really good I may let you be naughty tonight. Iāll even call you Darlene while I take you.ā
Darren smiled. He knew that every cloud had a silver lining. And he really liked the hoodie.
As he walked to the car he forced his ass out a little, and swayed his hips. Yes, he had the best wife ever!
Here’s a quick flashback to when Trump was doing his campaigning and participating in his debates with Hilary Clinton, before he got too scared of being shown up by a woman. You may enjoy this retrospective. Read the story from October 2016 HERE.
Just a quick reminder – Trump’s policies toward the trans community set us back decades. As we approach another electoral landmark it’s important to make sure you are registered and prepared to vote your conscience. For most trans brothers and sisters this is for a more liberal option than that offered by the Republican Party. With a Senate that is prepared to impose morally reprehensible limits on the rights of women, we know very well who they will turn on next. At a time when trans rights are being rolled back at local, state and federal levels it’s more important than ever to be properly prepared to vote and make your voice heard. We need this for ourselves and our LGBTQ friends. Don’t forget to register and make sure your vote is going to count.
I looked about the hall, and from this elevated position I could see that everyone in the room was watching the surreal form of Mr. Butterworth complete with goat headpiece, held firmly by eager hands beneath me. Beside the massage table among the masked faces of the audience was his wife. Nothing seemed to conceal her glee at seeing her husband subjugated in this way.
Gender Rebels Faith and Cath do a great job of discussing trans issues in sport. Fresh, on point and always championing trans issues, you can support the Gender Rebels HERE.
Honestly. I was saying just now to one or two of my friends online, I can hardly believe the people I surround myself with!
āIām getting some work done,ā I said to Sylvester, while I was making some lamb sosaties and turned my back on him and continued slicing the lamb. That was my first mistake.
āYou know, round the back,ā I said while reaching up on tip toes to get the curry powder from the top shelf.
I turned around to see Sylvester looking at my bum in a manner that can only be described as lascivious. Yes! Sylvester, a man who manages to combine having his head in the clouds with having his mind in the gutter!
āRound the back of the garden. So Ali can get the mower in more easily.ā I said, by way of clarification. What a pervert!
Anyway, thatās not the main reason Iām writing to you today. Iām doing a nice little addition to the site. Some of you know that by clicking on the tags at the end of the post to find other messages the people mentioned are in. I also usually hotlink the first instance of their name in the post, so you can see other places they’re mentioned in. So if you want to āstalkā Amanda for instance, you could see other posts sheās mentioned in. I love that anyone would check out Amanda. Yuk! Well, I am writing up a profile of each of the main people mentioned in my posts, so youāll be able to drill down even further and learn how Bernard caused a diplomatic incident before coming to Canada, or even get some of Rainbowās kombucha recipes. So just go HERE to get a list of the profiles. Iāve got some up already, but I am working on them as I write this. It may take some time to get them all up.
Youāll be surprised at how much there is on the site once you start to drill down. Have a lovely week!
Many women wonder why a man, sometimes their husband, would choose to wear panties. They also fear that their man, the one they chose to sire their children, would apparently now rather have a vagina.
I have been hard at work with some of my corporate clients at the advertising agency recently, and as we move toward the climax of summer some are organising their company parties and corporate retreats.
Naturally I get to be invited to many of these, both as a part of the clientās team, but also as I am generally advising the organising committees for such events. Since the Covid situation is receding I have seen many new faces on these committees, and Iāve been asked to sit on several of them.
So it was that I happened to be asked to attend a costumed event recently, and was asked to bring one or two friends to add color and vibrancy to the situation.
When you think of all the things you would like to change about yourself there is a tendency to focus on the aesthetic. Yet we know very well that this is the easy part. The greater achievement is to shift the way we think.
In accepting the female aspect of ourselves we will likely never have a completely feminine experience. Weāre not going to experience the pain and joy of childbirth, for example. At least not anytime soon. We will also never experience the angst of the teenage girl developing, nor the uncertainty that many women experience in anticipation of a first date; something that could ending in a deep relationship, or possibly a shallow grave.
As people explore ideas about gender it can be helpful to learn from others who have walked this path or one similar to it. Gender Rebels is a podcast that explores the issues and has some informative content that can help us with our views of how gender impacts us, and how society perceives gender.
