Oh, God! My husband’s wearing my panties! Does that mean he’s gay?

Many women wonder why a man, sometimes their husband, would choose to wear panties. They also fear that their man, the one they chose to sire their children, would apparently now rather have a vagina.

Well, girls, it’s just not quite that simple. Before you start worrying about him giving up his manhood, let’s first gat a real understanding of what gender really is.  That’s going to help as we move forward. A very important part of this is that while your husband may feel ashamed of this side of himself, it’s really not shameful. He’s simply been made to feel shame because it goes against many societal norms. It certainly doesn’t imply a lack of love for you or his family. To be trusted with what is likely a deep secret for your partner is a very deep bond. This can be something that draws you together, rather than pushes you apart.

Gender isn’t simply male or female. It’s a spectrum, easily illustrated by the fact that some men are simply more masculine than others.  It’s the same with women.  You can see it all the time, just by looking around at people. Those of us that go against the grain and accept ourselves as we truly are can be ostracized by others, and made to feel deeply vulnerable, for no good reason.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, think about this.  Most people are pushed into gender roles by either our parents, or the society in which we live. If you have two  brothers and you are a boy, you’ll get your toy gun along with your brothers. Same with girls. Even with names, which incidentally is the very first thing people ask about a newborn – immediately reinforcing stereotypes that have existed as long as we’ve had language. So you can see, we are pushed into the mold our particular society chooses for us. And some of us simply don’t feel comfortable with it.

If you were born into an extremely religious Islamic society, for example, you may be forced to cover your face in public.  Some people may be fine with this, but there are some who would resent it and be reblolious. You may choose to resist this openly, and you’d likely suffer as a result. For a crossdresser it’s rather deeper than this, going to the core of our identity, rather than simple aesthetics.

That’s not to say we all want to morph ourselves into ribbon wearing bimbos. It’s simply that some aspects of our nature we’ve suppressed, and as we know ourselves better we find we don’t want to suppress them anymore.  We want to be who we really are, rather than who our parents, or whoever, told us to be. My own personal approach is to encourage others to be essentially as feminine or masculine as we can reasonably be, within our circumstances. For a family man, with children who would struggle to accept this, the outcome may appear rather different to someone who is freely able to dress whenever they choose. IT’s about finding an appropriate level of behaviour.

For most of us embracing the feminine and sensitive side of us means being more inclined to listen to others, as well as being more caring and empathetic. More maternal even. Most people would frame these qualities as ‘feminine’. Such labels possibly don’t serve us well, but you can see how this has very little to do with wanting to sleep with anyone – it’s simply more about who we are.  In other words, it’s not really got anything to do with sexuality, or who or what you might be attracted to.

Dressing in feminine clothes is more about identity than anything else. It’s a way to express and experience that more sensitive side of our nature. As someone really finds their place on the gender spectrum they are much more likely to wear a blend of femme and masculine attire – expressing that mixture of gender identities.

So, as you can see, none of this threatens the woman, or the marriage for that matter. How you choose to respond to it, on the other hand, can define what happens next. Trying to understand the issue, and even bond over it, can be both reinforcing and fun. It can bring you much closer together.

Anyone who crossdresses loves to go out and have their nails painted.  They love to shop for clothes, and they love to enjoy a spa.  This could be your free ticket to endless manipedi/shopping/spa heaven.

For just a little fun and games in the bedroom, genderplay can be an exciting addition to what happens between you. Reversing roles, ‘faux forcing’, even just the language of crossdressing can add to the excitement for you both. My Premium Program For Women can help you experiment with this.

There’s a lot of fun things you can do with a crossdresser. Apart from anything else, you’ll find they worship the woman who encourages them. It’s a natural thing for us, as we are both grateful and envious simultaneously. You can share a lot of activities, and being the more Alpha one in the relationship, your suggestion that it’s his turn to pay (and always will be) will be well received.

If you’d like a short taster of the program, feel free to join the free basic version by subscribing below.



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