Accept yourself as you are – create yourself as you desire.
Have you read The Crossdresser’s Guide To Marital Bliss?
Learn just how to have that difficult conversation as you read through this great series.
🙂
Fiona
All in One Makeup Kit for Women Full Kit – $23.99
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Today the UK Supreme Court ruled that transgender women are not legally women.
The Good Law Project criticised the court for not hearing evidence from trans people and wrote on social media: “This ruling sets a dangerous precedent and erases trans women from protections. It puts trans rights back 20 years.”
Regardless, we exist. Classify people as what you like – we will continue to exist.
Get the full report here: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/supreme-court-woman-definition-ruling-legal-uk-latest-news-b2734201.html
Hi Everyone, Welcome or welcome back! If you’re new here, my name’s Andy and I’m a trans woman sharing my journey here on YT!
Some of you might recall I came out at work a little while ago and I figured it’s a good time for an update to all of that.
The good news it’s generally good news. Although things haven’t been all sunshine and roses.
If you would like to support my channel you can buy me a coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/transgenderpositivity
For those of you who do, I’ll send you an extra thing I’ve created as a small gift! Otherwise have a great week and see you same time next Sunday
@gloria_swansong #stitch with @mags_a_million Let’s clear the air on what Transgender means and what the movement is all about. #trans #transnonbinary #transhistory #lgbtqeducation ♬ original sound – Gloria_Swansong
Let’s clear the air on what Transgender means and what the movement is all about.
Transgender is about transversing genders, spanning the space between male and female. It is a broad term and doesn’t specifically define one gender expression.
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– Find Part 1 here – Chapter list here –
In the days that followed I found myself falling into a routine to break the boredom of this captivity. In other circumstances my situation could have been almost described as idyllic. Sun, beach, sea.
Support Jessie Gender here: https://www.patreon.com/jessiegender
Context note: This video discusses misinformation for the purpose of pointing out that it is misinformation. [captions in progress] Support this channel: https://www.patreon.com/contrapoints
What a busy week it’s been. Poor Sylvester has barely even got his chopper out. He’s looking most frustrated.
I’ve told him, there are times when circumstances just don’t allow a good ride, and it’s times like that we have to do the preventative maintenance. He usually looks despondent when I say such things, and then goes off to grease his nipples, or something. I have no idea what that is, by the way. Anyway, perhaps the weather will improve and he’ll be able to get out on his bike.
We are living at a strange and dystopian time. The US is not what it once was – we might as well accept the fact. Al l that said, this is not a time to give up. It is the time to be the hope that seems so absent for most people. We can do that by being kind, considerate and by being ourselves. Our existence is resistance.
So, what can we do? Right away you can familiarise yourself with this – https://fionadobson.com/the-three-things-you-can-do-right-now-to-advance-transgender-rights/ – which is a good starting point. If you live in an area which has no pathway to support for a candidate that could get themselves elected, then I would strongly suggest backing a candidate in a location they may be able to get elected, even if this is far from you. Elections, contrary to popular belief, do not take place on one day. They take years. Supporting political movers and shakers who align themselves with out values does not have to happen just during an election year. The pressure needs to be constant, and our support of our people should be, too. If you live in the middle of a right wing enclave, you can donate to Zooey Zephyr, in Montana and lend her your support. Those of us outside the USA can’t donate to support US candidates, there are rules against that, but we can look to people who are advancing trans rights in our own country and lend them whatever support we can. Sometimes this is monetary, sometimes by volunteering, and sometimes simply by expressing support for their message.
We are definitely living at a strange time in history. However, we’ve always been here, and we will always be here. Supporting our sisters in any way we can is more important than ever. This week I was travelling in the foothills of the rocky mountains, and in a small town hardly big enough to swing a cat in I stopped to buy a coffee on a very long drive. To my surprise a trans girl came in as I was ordering my coffee. I would guess she was 20 years old. She looked lovely and I turned to her, complimented her on her lovely hair, and then told her how those of us who are older are so very proud of our young sisters. I said to her, ‘you carry a flag that we were unable to, and we admire you for that. When we are gone, you will carry that flag onward.’
She was so grateful. Many of us face a very solitary journey. When we are able to express our support for one another it really helps.
With this in mind I am offering the first five people who email me at fdobson@zoho.com with the email subject line ‘I support my sisters’ free membership of my Whatsapp Group. This is usually $10 a month, so it’s a substantial saving. Remember to check out the guidelines for the group chat. It’s been running very well for years and is a supportive place for many members unable to find community elsewhere. If you’d like another opportunity to chat with others, you can do so by choosing one of the options on my Patreon and using the community chat there. Just remember to keep it respectful and clean. It’s about supporting one another.
You can get into my Patreon for as little as a dollar a month, and I could really use some new members there. Jump in and use ‘my back door’ if you want to be supportive.
Have a glorious week.
🙂
Fiona.
Become a member!
Sylvester was already at my breakfast table as I hurried by to the laundry room. He’s doing some work caulking the tiles in my kitchen. I let him let himself in when he drops by early, as long as he puts the coffee on.
“Morning,” I said as I rushed by, late for a morning meeting at the office. In the laundry I grabbed a polka dot bra, and a pair of panties, then hurried back upstairs to dress properly. This happens to be one of my favorite bras. The HRT has helped my breast development nicely, and I like to feel comfortable.
When I came down to breakfast a few minutes later wearing a nice blouse and skirt, I noticed Sylvester looking at me disapprovingly.
“Well,” I asked. “What’s the matter with you?”
“I couldn’t help noticing,” he said, “that your bra and panties don’t match.”
As I poured some milk onto my muesli I gave Sylvester a disapproving look.
“If I want you to look at my underwear I’ll tell you so!” I said. I think you can see the kind of thing I have to put up with.
“I couldn’t help but notice,” he replied. At least he had the decency to look a little awkward.
“Anyway, so what if they don’t match?” I asked.
“It’s just that I always think of you being better organised than that. Besides I happen to know you spend a small fortune on lingerie,” he carried on. “And, I mean – it’s nice if it all goes together.”
“Sylvester,” I said patiently as I sipped my coffee, “there’s something you need to understand. And I say this as one who knows, if your girlfriends, misguided as they may be, are wearing matching bra and panties, then they’ve already decided you’re having sex that night.”
Sylvester looked blankly at me as the realisation that he wasn’t the one making the decisions slowly dawned on him.
“You mean, they decide before we even go out?” he asked.
“Yes.” I replied.
“But if that’s true, why do I have to do all the hard work, buying dinner and trying to get them in the mood?” he mumbled.
“Because we like that sort of thing. We like you to work for it,” I said and put my empty cup in the sink.
“You’re saying, I don’t get to make the decision? She’s already decided what we’re going to do?”
“Bingo!” I said.
As I hurried to the door and picked up my back-pack, Sylvester smirked and said, “So I guess you’re not getting anything tonight.”
You know, Sylvester really can be quite coarse.
As I hurried out the door I said, “So, now you know what I carry in my back-pack!”
But that’s not the main reason I’m writing tonight. I thought I would just remind my friends and members, with all the troubling developments we see around us today, we cannot change the things people expose us to, the terrible news, the erosion of rights, however we can change the way we respond to them.
As hard as it sometimes is, choosing not let ourselves feel despair or anger can help us. Choosing to calmly observe, keep our powder dry, and pick fights we can win is a wise path. Of course, the news organisations want you to respond to news stories. It’s their job to present news in a way that gets a reaction. Take a breath, step back and try not to respond. Yes, that does mean dumping some social media. It also means being very selective with your news sources. I always use Associated Press and BBC, their coverage of most news being relatively balanced. Don’t forget, our existence is resistance.
Have a wonderful week,
Fiona
This is a celebration put on by The Dogwood Monarchist Society, established in 1972 as a registered non-profit society to run the Imperial Court of Vancouver to support the LGBTQIA+ community. The DMS was recognized as the Mother Court of Canada in 1976, and is now part of over 70 courts across Canada, the United States and Mexico. Since its inceptions, the DMS has raised over $2M for deserving LGBTQ charities, and continues to thrive as an organization and as leaders within the Vancouver community. This is not only a wonderful event, Lenni (our very own) and her wife, Crem, are major drivers of the event and the organisation.
If you want to support an organisation that gives to deserving LGBTQ charities you should consider even a small one off donation to the DMS. I know how much good their work does and can vouch for their integrity. Donate Here – https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=3LZ29C5UQ795Q
Support Leah here – https://www.patreon.com/c/LeahPassaniti/posts
Sylvester took the lovely Brazilian coffee I’d made and tried to look sensible as he sat at my kitchen table. It’s not easy to get him to understand the complexities of the transgender world, but I do my best. It’s rather like trying to teach a monkey to use a calculator. I eyed the bunch of bananas on the windowsill.
“Ok,” I said, ever patient. “I’ll try to explain it again. Think of it like this. I am going through changes.”
“I’ve seen your boobs!” said Sylvester.
“Shut up,” I replied. You know Sylvester really can be quite coarse. “There are shifts in my body, but also in the way I think and process things. Whether or not it’s the hormones, or just that I have become more sensitive, more kindly, more thoughtful, I don’t know.”
At this point Sylvester opened his mouth to speak and I gave him a sharp kick under the table.
“And with all these changes has come a different view of things. A different way of looking at the world,” I said. “But – and this is the complicated bit, Sylvester, concentrate now… But the world at which I am looking is also changing. It’s changing a lot. So, it’s like there’s two moving targets.”
“Oh, I get it,” he said, his brow knotted like an ancient oak tree’s roots clinging to the earth.
“So, as I look at the insanity going on in the world to day, I am looking at it with new eyes. It’s almost impossible to think of things the way I used to before I accepted this part of who I am – and those very same things are now all so different. It’s very confusing. And even sometimes frightening. I mean, there are people who would rather see a dead trans person than have a friendly trans person in their life. And they’re running the country! We used to be the good guys – and now we’re painted as a bunch of freaks!”
“That must be very difficult,” sympathised Sylvester.
“You can think of it like this. It’s like two trains, both moving at different speeds but going in the same direction. One is going a little faster than the other, but if you’re standing on one, the other might only seem to be moving a little faster than the other, but they’re both moving at great speed.”
“Like the two Pride floats on highway one that time?” said Sylvester.
“What?” I said thinking I’d lost him.
“You remember, when we were on Highway one, and we saw that float from First Bank, and we had to race it to get a better place in the Pride procession. Remember, I raced past them and cut them off before the slip road.”
I cringed at the memory.
“I remember the girls hanging on the back of the float as you screamed past, yes. Jenny is still having counselling over that.”
In my mind I saw Sylvester hunched over the steering wheel in the cab of the Kenworth Tractor, pulling on the horns and shouting for all the queens on the flat bed to hold on. As we raced past the other float, the driver flipping Sylvester the bird as we roared past, and taffeta, sequins and crowns flying everywhere as he pulled out and overtook the slower truck, and all just to get a better place in the Pride Parade.
“For the life of me I will never know how Alexa made the jump between the two vehicles,” I muttered. “And in those heels!”
“But we did get a better place in the Pride Parade,” said Sylvester.
“Well,” I replied, “Yes, it’s sort of like that. There’s a lot of moving parts, and at times like this it can be very confusing. And, I mean, we don’t all want to end up like Jenny, do we?”
“I suppose not,” agreed Sylvester.
But that is not the main reason I am writing to you today. Tonight I am going to an event called ‘Coronation’. This is a celebration put on by The Dogwood Monarchist Society, established in 1972 as a registered non-profit society to run the Imperial Court of Vancouver to support the LGBTQIA+ community. The DMS was recognized as the Mother Court of Canada in 1976, and is now part of over 70 courts across Canada, the United States and Mexico. Since its inceptions, the DMS has raised over $2M for deserving LGBTQ charities, and continues to thrive as an organization and as leaders within the Vancouver community. This is not only a wonderful event, Lenni (our very own) and her wife, Crem, are major drivers of the event and the organisation. You may know Lenni from our ‘Lenni And Jules’ discussions – https://fionadobson.com/tag/lenni-and-jules/.
Now, and here’s the important part, in this changing world, if you want to support an organisation that gives to deserving LGBTQ charities you should consider even a small one off donation to the DMS. I know how much good their work does and can vouch for their integrity. Donate Here – https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=3LZ29C5UQ795Q
I know Jules will be down there as well, and I expect they’ll be posting pics to our support group and Whatsapp Elite Group. I am sure some will end up on our Patreon page as well. It’s happening tonight and if you jump into the Whatsapp Group you’ll see content going up as it happens.
Anyway, I have to go now and get my hair done for the event. Have a lovely weekend!
Fiona.
I don’t know how long I slept. When I finally drifted back from that blissful sleep Annabel was beside me in the bed fast asleep, her hair tumbled over her gently rounded shoulders.
I watched her for a few minutes as the early light of dawn filtered in through the half drawn curtains. How perfect that shoulder was, the warm brown of her skin, the lift of her breast, half uncovered by the sheet. It seemed inconceivable that this could have been the shoulder once of a boy, or a man. No, I was looking at a woman, regardless of what incongruity may be below that perfect flowing waist and flat tummy. How meaningless the label of this or that was, when what I was witnessing was beauty.
Does beauty demand a label, I asked myself. Male, female, young or old? No, what was before me was beauty – regardless of categorization or analysis.
READ ON – https://fionadobson.com/cmtm/clothes-maketh-the-man-part-75/
Canada Pride | Vintage Style, Retro Canadian Maple Leaf Women’s V-Neck T-Shirt $19.99
As the New Year kicks into gear I am pleased to see Ali getting to grips with my garden. As you know, Ali is my Syrian gardener, and a recent immigrant to Canada. He is a diligent worker and has thrown himself into the task of managing my garden in preparation for spring.
A university professor of botany in his home country, he has come to build a new life here in our country, along with his lovely wife and two delightful daughters. Here in Canada we welcome new friends from around the world, and embrace the chance to add to the deep culture of this diverse and remarkable country.
“We don’t have an equivalent of your ‘Santa Claus’,” he recently explained while we were working at preparing the greenhouse for this years plants.
“Besides, anything flying over our airspace at low altitude stands a good chance of being shot down. And… well, reindeer meat… I think he’s well advised to respect the no-fly zone.”
“Be that as it may, Ali,” I said. “I’m most concerned about Amanda and Marjory. All through winter I’ve barely seen them.”
“Fiona, they’ve been very busy. Amanda’s been there all week. And you know what they’re like,” replied Ali.
I don’t think Ali really approves of the nature of Amanda’s relationship with Marjory. Same sex partnerships are not exactly common place in Syria, on account of people not wanting to be stoned to death in the public square.
“All the noise and fuss they make,” said Ali. “It’s very disruptive.”
“Don’t worry,” I assured him. “You’ll get used to it. Besides, it must be nice to be in love.”
“They were making an Italian dish yesterday with the left over turkey,” he mused, while cleaning one of the planting beds in the greenhouse.
“That sounds lovely. One of the things I enjoy about home cooking is getting creative with all those meals using left overs. I had turkey curry yesterday, myself.”
“If I over heard it correctly, Amanda got her finger stuck in the pasta maker. It was quite disturbing,” said Ali.
“Oh,” I said surprised. “I thought Marjory made the pasta.”
“Yes,” replied Ali. “She does.”
But that’s not the main reason I am writing to you today, as we go into what I think we are all hoping is a more hopeful year than last. I understand many of us are finding it harder to dress during the lockdowns that we must inevitably endure. I also realise that this increases the stress for all of us, and I want to make a suggestion that I find has helped many of my members.
While it would be wonderful to be able to dress everyday, all day, many of my members are simply unable to do this. When it is impossible to dress, for whatever reason, there’s still the middle ground, of becoming more androgynous. This is a way to start shifting what you wear to something somewhat more feminine, though without being entirely crossdressed. If you get creative you’ll find ways to do this, and enjoy that middle ground in the gender spectrum.
It could be as simple as shifting the colors you wear. Pastel colors and moving away from hard contrast color patterns is somewhat more feminine and gentle. Equally, going for the lambswool sweater and softer fabrics is always more enjoyable.
For others it will be engaging a more feminine clothing style, without crossing the line. Nice jeans can bring out the shape of your legs, and if all you need to do is add heels to shift over the line, then you’re always just moments from being able to express yourself in a gently feminine manner. Sometimes the only difference between dressing straight or crossdressed is the presence of eye makeup.
It’s always important to remember though, the clothing is really only the aesthetic. How you feel and how you think will always be more important. Check out my Patreon for more ideas.
Be sure to enjoy the video below.
Fiona
You know who to blame.
FD
Follow Andy’s Youtube here – https://www.youtube.com/@Andy_trans_positivity
Support Andy directly here – http://buymeacoffee.com/transgenderpositivity
Andy has requested that if you are feeling generous and would like to support an organisation, they’d like you to consider Mermaids UK, or Transrescue. Both do amazing work supporting trans kids in the UK, and helping trans people move to a safer country. You can find out more about them and donate here:
https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/ – https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/?form=donate
https://transrescue.org/ – https://transrescue.org/donations/donate
Hi
“You are never going to get all that in there,” I said to Sylvester.
“I squeezed it in before,” he replied, reaching down and pressing harder.
“You should try to sit on it,” I suggested helpfully.
Sylvester is one of those people who try to pack too many things into his ancient suitcase, and then expects it to close as though it’s half empty. It’s always this way. And I have to say it’s never the way it is in the movies. I mean, James Bond doesn’t go through the sort of trials and tribulations at checkout time that Sylvester does. He’ll be trying to close an overstuffed suitcase, and finally when he does he finds he’s zippered his tie into the thing and is walking around the hotel room trying to disentangle himself from 20 kilos (45 lbs) of suitcase. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. Poor Sylvester.
“All you should do is gently tuck everything out of the way. Don’t over do it. It just doesn’t need to be so hard,” I told him.
“But I’m carrying the bare minimum,” he protested.
“I would hardly say that,” I replied.
I glanced down at the contents of the case.
“What are these,” I asked, holding up a large pair of oversized shorts. “Beagling shorts? Were you planning on going Beagling when in Brazil?” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beagling
“They’re comfortable,” replied Sylvester.
“I think the Capybara Protection League might have something to say about that,” I muttered.
Sylvester looked thoughtful for a moment and then asked, “Do you think people hunt Capybaras?”
“Well, I don’t really know how they taste,” I said.
“They’re a bit like beaver,” mused Sylvester and then said, “And people eat…”
“Shut up, Sylvester!” I snapped. You know he really can be quite coarse.
Actually, the capybaras are friendly lovely things. They’re quite big too. Like an over inflated guinea pig. Two hundred pounds of guinea pig.
I’ll be heading back to Vancouver shortly, and posting a lot more content. I have a sense that the Canada I return to is very different from the Canada I left. I am picking up a lot of anger about the situation in the US. I will write more later.
On to more serious issues: I have today read about a tragic murder of a trans man in the US. I urge all my members to be very careful in the current climate in the US. I would strongly suggest you get off dating sites until some of the tension dies down. If you have to meet someone unknown please be extra careful. That means making sure someone knows where you are, and that you will contact them after your meeting ends. Let whoever you are meeting know someone is expecting to see you after the meeting. And use your phone to share your location with a trusted friend. Be careful.
If you are on my Patreon you’ll know a lot more about what’s going on in the transgender world, and of what’s happening for me. I’d love to see you as a member. Join my Patreon here.
It’s still a wonderful world, it’s still the Gulf Of Mexico, and I am still transgender – regardless of anyone’s executive order.
Fiona
I don’t really like to approach the bathroom issue. It seems so divisive for some people.
My mother always used to say that a guest may use any bathroom they wish – otherwise why invite them into your house? Sadly in some places this line of thinking seems just a little too adult for the simple minded. I’m thinking particularly of the Montana State Legislature.
In a display of outright bigotry and a childish attempt to embarrass a duly elected member of their Congress, a motion was introduced to ban Zooey Zyphyr from the female bathrooms in the building. You can see the attempt, and watch it fail, here – https://youtu.be/LTJJi4QrKCQ?si=P18xXcI3lzUgodBV.
Zooey is an elected member, simply doing her utmost to represent the members of her constituency. She is a fine trans woman and takes her public service seriously. Regrettably some members of her state body are too infantile to accept that they have a responsibility to work like responsible adults – but what can you do!
Meanwhile, here in Brazil, where I am currently traveling, I have found people not so much ‘tolerating’ of transgender people, but more calmly indifferent. It is, to use the common parlance – like, ‘whatever’. The idea that people are people is quite the norm. Why would anyone have an issue?
I am currently in Curatiba, home of the capibyra and beautiful art. I will do more on that a little later, however last night Sylvester and I treated ourselves to dinner at Hambergay, a gay restaurant. In fact it was so gay we were practically showered in glitter on arrival.
The food was lovely, I had the Barbie burger, and Sylvester chose the flamboyant Gaga burger, both of which came with rich toppings including edible glitter. In fact, the drinks (Margayritas) also had edible glitter in the ice cubes. Fabulous!
The restaurant is genuinely family friendly, a couple seated by us included their young children. Halfway through the cocktails I was provided with a pink feather boa, and led to their photo wall and photographed extensively. Perhaps, I thought, my fame had stretched even to here, but ‘no’, most guests get the same treatment. The staff are courteous, engaging and add a note of fun.
Now, Sylvester being Sylvester, had to make some vulgar comment about needing to use the bathroom, and disappeared into a pink mist that led the way to the facilities. After a suitable time he came rushing back, out of breath, and at first I thought he had done something self indulgent in there – as you know he can really be quite coarse.
But, no. He was excited to announce it was one of the most extraordinary bathrooms he had had the pleasure of… Well, using. I include some photos above.
I shall be contacting my people back in Canada and suggesting we adopt this very decor in our Parliament building. It seems very appropriate. Justin is usually quite attentive to such things when we chat.
Fiona.
Support Leah here – https://www.patreon.com/leahpassaniti