This post first appeared on my Patreon. I’ve been traveling in Brazil and following some tech challenges could post only on my Patreon. If you’re not already a member on there, this might be a good time to join.
As I continue to travel here in Brazil I am falling into a routine of listening to the news as I shower and prepare for the day.
I wash and shave, even with HRT there’s still a little shadow there. I don’t really suffer from dysmorphia, but I really don’t like facial hair. It is something of a reminder of something I want to leave behind. So I shave thoroughly, as the BBC newscast goes on and I hear of further erosion of trans rights in the US.
In the mirror I see the reflection of my upper body. I see the curve of my breasts and I brush my hair, now long and lustrous after years of care.
On one breast I have the names of Nex Benedict and Brianna Ghey tattooed, memorializing two of the many trans people who have been tragically taken before their time. I honor them and say their names each morning.
I say a prayer for all my trans sisters as I ready myself for the day. That reflection reminds me that the sun will still come up, I am still transgender, and no executive order will change that fact. The Gulf of Mexico is still the Gulf of Mexico, and life does go on.
The actions of one insecure little man will not change any of this. It is still a wonderful world. Those who mistreat us define themselves through their cruelty.
“The National Park Service has removed references to transgender and queer people on its web page for the Stonewall National Monument, which marks the site of the New York City inn where LGBTQ rioters – including now-legendary transgender activists – galvanized a movement for LGBTQ rights.
On the NPS web page, the term “LGBTQ+” was also shortened to “LGB,” according to an archived version of the page.”
I can only interpret this as the modern equivalent of book burning. I hope no one is left in any doubt what this government now is.
When your government tries to erase a group of people from history it does not bode well for its future.
I do love to travel. So much so, that when a friend invited me to travel to Curatiba in Brazil I was not going to turn down the offer.
So here I am in the south of Brazil, in what to me is a rather unusual AirBnB — but something that is very common here. It’s basically an entire tower block turned over to AirBnB accommodations. I’ll describe this in another post later, but it’s quite remarkable. I think it’s what happens when there’s little in the way of regulation around this type of accommodation.
The rooms are small, they have a basic kitchen and a bathroom. Travelling with Sylvester, the bathroom arrangements are rather important. The fact that the place is so small is a concern. To put it delicately, after a visit to the bathroom by Sylvester, there’s what is best described as an environmental hazard for some time.
Sylvester, bless him, had bashfully suggested buying a scented candle, however there really is only so much one can ask of a candle. To be quite honest I also feel disinclined to have a naked flame around at a moment like this. Unusual as it may seem, our bathroom seems to have two doors, one opening inwards and another opening outwards. I can only put this down to a serendipitous choice buy the management to limit the blast radius from Sylvester’s bowel movements.
When Jensen finds he’s been made redundant by the company he’s given twenty years service, he decides to turn to a life of crime. Unfortunately his latest victim has other ideas.
Now, you likely know that Max, my neighbours son, looks after the technology here at the enormous corporate entity that is FionaDobson.com. Max is a sweet boy, and Marjory is rightly very proud of him.
I was sitting in my kitchen just the other morning glancing through the list of new people who have recently joined my patreon, and looking back at some old data. It’s quite normal for someone to have joined the website in 2016, stayed around a while, and then unsubscribed. They then pop up in a mailing list two or three years later. And then sometime later they show up on Patreon. It builds a fascinating picture.
Looking at some of the oldest email addresses, I can see that some have bounced or haven’t opened an email in a year or two.
“We should probably clean up these old email addresses,” I said to Max, as he stared at his screen.
“But what about the members that go in and out, and then in again?” replied Max.
“I am sure many of my members go in and out frequently,” I replied.
“They seem to,” said Max, absorbed in the data and oblivious to the double entendre.
“Some people are just not quite sure if this is for them,” I replied. “And others have yet to accept it as a part of themselves. It takes them a little while to realise it’s not going away anytime soon.”
“Well, perhaps we should just archive the ones who have been idle for six months,” said Max.
“I think when people are going through cycles it can be a little longer than that. Perhaps if they’ve not been opening email for more than a year. That might be a good idea,” agreed Max.
“OK, one year and then we cut them off!” I said. It seems a reasonable approach.
These things may seem a little mundane, however there are some serious sides to this. For example, I am currently considering cutting off Facebook completely. There’s no question they’ve moved forward some anti trans policies of late, and should we be surprised if Zuck were to share that kind of data with people who don’t have our best interests at heart. After all, they share data in the name of marketing, why wouldn’t they just hand over data on people who have an interest in trans issues, if asked by – oh, I don’t know – some fat bastard in Washington, for example.
I think you can see where this is going. I don’t want to make that easier. So, I am consolidating a lot of our data. I will be concentrating on keeping the website and our Patreon presence secure. I will also retain our Mastodon ( https://mastodon.online/@FionaDobson ) and Bluesky ( https://bsky.app/profile/fionadobsontrans.bsky.social ) presences, but in most other cases I will likely close the accounts, to prevent them becoming targets for bad actors.
Now, any of you who are aware of online marketing etc. will know this is going to mean a financial hit for me. FB has been a major funnel into my site and Patreon. With this in mind I am appealing to those of you who do value what I do to join my Patreon and continue your support for me in that direction. You can join for as little as $1 a month. I have always believed I would rather have a couple of thousand supporters who are committed than 250,000 followers who are not. By the way, our membership peaked in 2017 at 250,000.
So, as we settle into the new reality of the rapist in the Whitehouse, let’s quickly just remind ourselves of some basics. Firstly, the gross man baby is likely only in for four years, after two years he will likely loose Congress, and be the lame duck he looks so much like. Next, he talks a lot but actually achieves very little. Interestingly, as much as many of the policies he talks about are financially likely to be a disaster, the stock market is soaring. What this means is that most realise he either cannot implement many of the policies, or they think he’s bluffing, as usual. An example is the idea of sticking tariffs on Canadian imports. Well, good luck rebuilding the houses in LA without Canadian softwood. They use it in the timber framing for most of those structures. Sure you could use US timber, and if you plant the type you need today it should be ready in about thirty years.
So, you can see some of those policies are just not going to happen. Sure, we have a couple of uncomfortable years. We will endure those and we will do so as we’ve endured prejudice and bigotry before. We will do it with grace and kindness to those who oppress us, as we always have. And we will come through it. Simply signing an executive order will not erase us. We are here and we are here to stay.
Please be aware that media coverage in the US is changing quite substantially as anti-trans sentiment is stoked. It can become very hard to remain informed without independent news stories. If you have any doubt about this, check a US news source against any of those below. It’s quite startling. You can always find reasonably independent coverage (leaning neither left nor right) at the following new sources:
Why hello there! I’m Leah, and I’m a nonbinary trans woman making content for the LGBTQIA+ community… or anyone who wants to watch! My goal is to provide visibility, representation, and interesting / useful conversations while creating a community that helps bring people together.
What a delightful and unusual girl Julie really is. Working away here to help my members, she looks after the nuts and bolts of things. Meanwhile she has a fascinating story of her own called The Sweet Stench Of Revenge.
You can start your journey here. My Premium Program is going to help you feel delicious. You can also find my hypnosis files HERE. Many of these are free. Enjoy them.
“That’s a nasty gash you’ve got there,” I said to Amanda, as she was bending over.
“Yes,” she said, turning from the flower bed she was weeding. “I caught my finger on that rose bush.”
“Perhaps you should come into the kitchen, I can put some ointment on it,” I replied. As you know, I am really quite compassionate, even with my wife’s dreadful friend, Amanda.
Amanda hesitated for a moment, her brows furrowing in consideration, but then she nodded and followed me into the house. The kitchen, with its warm, golden light filtering through the curtains, offered a comforting sanctuary from the sharp thorns and relentless sun outside.
I rummaged through the medicine cabinet and found the ointment, along with a clean bandage. Amanda sat down at the table, cradling her injured finger gingerly. I couldn’t help but notice the way her face softened in the light, revealing a vulnerability rarely seen behind her usual abrasive demeanor.
“Thank you,” she murmured, her voice uncharacteristically quiet.
“It’s no trouble,” I replied, carefully applying the ointment and wrapping the bandage around her finger. “You’ll need to be more careful around those rose bushes. They’re beautiful, but they can be quite treacherous.”
Amanda gave a small, rueful smile. “I suppose that’s true of many things.”
“It’s remarkable what modern medicine can achieve,” I said. “Take that rapist soon to take up residence in the Whitehouse. They cured his bone spurs magically shortly after Vietnam war conscription ended. And soon he’ll be the commander of American forces. Isn’t it wonderful?”
Amanda looked at me skeptically. I must admit, I was thinking about attending the inauguration. When my invitation arrived in the mail I thought seriously about it, however I have a hair appointment that day. I rarely mention this, but I am also a little sensitive to odors and I had heard that Elon Musk was attending, so I should have opted out. Instead, I put my invitation on Craigslist, but no one has come forward for it.
Interestingly, Epiphany (Rainbow’s girlfriend) has managed to get herself a job in the new administration. She’ll even be working in the Whitehouse. For someone who I thought was basically unemployable I thought this a little surprising, however after seeing her credentials it turns out that if anything, she was over qualified.
Not to worry. By the way, as you may know I do have a support group running for any of my members who are concerned about the incoming rapist. It’s a nice group and they are quite talkative. If you feel in need of a little support come along and join the free service. If you feel you’d like to contribute to this support group please feel free to jump in.
If you’d like to support my efforts here feel free to join my Patreon, for as little as a dollar a month. You can join here.
As you may know, my personal trainer, Sebastian, has a delightful sister named Rainbow. The west coast has many people named by well intentioned hippy parents, that have grown up to be very unlike their free wheeling parents.
While Rainbow is decidedly whimsical and likely in line with what her parents expected, not all my acquaintances are so well named. For example, Rainbow is a yoga teacher and perfectly qualified, being both gluten free and lactose intolerant. However, another friend of mine was blessed with the name ‘Swallow’ by her parents. If the swallow really is the bird of love, then one would hardly expect a corrections officer working in a high security prison to carry such a name and yet that is indeed where she has had a quite successful career.
I looked at the young pastor and offered him another cup of tea. He sat in my room with a look of hopeful expectation.
“I would love to contribute to your fund, and I must say that, in principle I am of course an avid supporter of anything that helps disadvantaged inner youth,” and with that I paused and leaned a little closer, my cleavage spilling into his eyeline.
I continued, “But, I wonder, Pastor. What can you do for me?”
The young man looked a little surprised, then replied, “Naturally, I’d like to help my benefactor in any way I can.” I couldn’t help noticing the struggle he was having averting his eyes from my breasts.
I smiled at him, placed my hand on his knee, at which he nearly jumped out of his skin, and then I said, “Don’t worry, I’m sure there will come a day when you can do some sort of service for me.”
Below is a picture of the coward who failed to investigate her death, Police Chief Yancey.
Wondering where the police were during this incident? Yes, so is everyone else. You can call the Owasso Police Department at 918-272-2244 to ask them. Here’s their website – https://www.cityofowasso.com/161/Police-Department
When chatting online I often ask my CD members and friends what their femme name is. Most of us have one and as we develop this side of our personality we learn to treasure it. After all it is something we have given ourselves.
One of the reasons it’s important is that it gives us something on which to hang all the complexities of the identity we’ve chosen. It gives ‘her’ personality. When we are first called our femme name it gives us a thrill, and each subsequent time it’s used it subtly nails home this part of ourself. It’s a continual reinforcement of who we are.
Each email, each time a friend online and each time someone in our daily lives use this name we are further confirmed as who we really are. This is true whether you are just dressing now and then in private or out and working toward transition. In either case it’s an important part of us. For this reason I encourage all my members to select and use a positive name and give themselves to it.
I’ve even got a great hypnosis file to help reinforce the name. You can find it here – – https://fionadobson.com/your-feminine-identity-self-hypnosis/ – I suggest you use this self hypnosis file even if you’ve been using your name for years. It will help you adopt the name as part of yourself.
For those who have yet to choose a name, here’s a good way to do so. Think back to when you were in high school. Likely there was a girl there who you admired. There were some aspects of her character you liked, and you’d like to have today. Perhaps it was her winning smile, or the way she moved. Maybe it was her feisty attitude, or perhaps her depth and thoughtfulness. By choosing her name you are doing a few things. One is to honor the memory of this person, even if you’ve never seen her since and never will. You’re also affirming subconsciously your admiration of the characteristics that she exhibited. By using her name you’ll find that you are quietly reminded of how good you can be. Your name will silently influence you to be a better person. A person you can admire.
While some people like a very Sissie name, like Trixie or Candie, these names communicate a rather different message. Yes, you can call them ‘stripper’ names. Well, chances are that if you’re using a name like that those are messages you are trying to communicate. There’s nothing remotely wrong with that, as long as that’s the image you wish to present to the world. Personally I like to dress femme everyday, so whether I am in a client meeting at work or going to the sports centre I want my name to fit.
If I were introduced to a new client at a meeting as ‘Trixie’ they might think the entertainment had arrived. So, your name says a lot to the world in general and also to yourself. If you’re at a total loss to find the right name then here’s a little trick. Take your year of birth, and then put it into a google search preceded by ‘popular girls names’. It’s likely that in the first four or five names there will be a name that feels right. I’ve helped many members with his and it usually works. Apart from anything else, if you’re 45 and stumble on a name that was never popular among people of your own age it will probably never feel quite right.
The first few times you use the name it will feel a little strange, but before long it will begin to feel right. If you sign up to a few mailing lists ( here’s a good one – http://FionaDobson.com/my-programs) with this name and start getting used to seeing it in your inbox you will soon delight in it. When someone calls you by your new name you will find it a delight. And before long it will feel as natural as… well, as ‘Fiona’ does for me.
In conversation recently with a friend, they shared a story about a family member and it put me in mind of this clip. If you’ve not seen it before it’s a remarkable piece of advertising from J and B Scotch Whisky.
