I remember Fiona telling me, one quiet afternoon after we’d had a pedicure together, “We should make it easier for our members to get it up!”
I was a little surprised. Fiona is rarely quite so direct.
“We should make it really easy for them to get it up, and find satisfaction quickly.”
“Not too quickly,” I suggested. I find things that happen too quickly are rarely satisfying. A pleasure extended over a little while is so much more enjoyable, don’t you think?
“The quicker the better,” she declared. I think she saw my confusion, as she then added, “… in My Little Black Book.”
“I don’t follow,” I said.
“I want it to be really easy for them to get their profile up, and start connecting with other crossdressers and Admirers.”
“Oh, I see what you mean,” I replied, a little relieved. Now it fell into place. “Perhaps I should put together some kind of guide. A Karma Sutra of My Little Black Book.”
“Perfect,” she declared, and went to put the kettle on. When she returned from the kitchen with some tea she suggested I get Max, her neighbours son involved. He looks after much of our technical requirements.
“You can unload some of it on him. I am sure if you put yourself in his hands you’ll come up with something. He’ll bend over backwards to help you bring it to completion. Such a helpful boy!”
So, that’s why I am writing this – the first part of our guide to Fiona’s Little Black Book. Now, if you’re not familiar with this particular tool, I’ll describe it for you. You can always join it here: http://fionadobson.com/fionas-little-black-book/
The Little Black Book is for connecting with Crossdressers, and Admirers (our term for guys that would love to meet CDs). Our members sign up, create a profile and then reach out to others in the Little Black Book, by emailing them. We created a club for the Admirer’s here: http://fionadobson.com/the-admirers-club-2/
No one knows the world of crossdressing quite like Fiona, and our friends here, so we’ve also built in some cool features. For a start, everyone commits to a set of values and guidelines. You can see these here: http://fionadobson.com/about/the-guidelines/
So, unlike Craigslist, you are not just meeting some random person, who may or may not show up. You’re meeting someone who shares your values and is committed to your privacy and behaving in a manner that is likely to instil confidence.
You’re also looking at a system that’s not really built to create a random hookup. There’s plenty of those out there, and they’re often filled with working girls and people who are not really very serious about creating friendships. My Little Black Book is about forging genuine connections.
The next thing to help you feel secure is that the only thing listed in your membership details is an email address. From there, you can choose how much or how little information you share. Many members create an email account just for My Little Black Book, and then – when they feel comfortable with whoever they’re connecting with – begin to chat on Skype or Whatsapp. The point is that you are always in control of the relationship. You can release as much or as little information as you choose.
Now, that all sounds simple enough, however there are some things about it that insure you will do well with it. If you stick to the successful techniques you’re going to have a great time and make a lot of new friends.
One of the great things to do in Fiona’s Little Black book, is to load up a picture. You are going to want an image that is fun, engaging and says a little about who you are. I have chatted with some of our most prolific members, and they all tend to agree that you shouldn’t just put up a cock pic and hope for the best. That will get you nowhere fast.
So, if you’re going to upload a picture take the trouble to get a really great picture. What better excuse could there be to take time and dress up really well. Our best CDs make sure they have a girlfriend come by and help them with their make up. Unless you are well practiced, or in our Premium Program, you’re unlikely to be able to do as good a job on makeup as your favorite girlfriends are. Just ask someone to help out. You might be surprised how much fun this can turn out to be.
So, have an evening where one of your girlfriends comes over, helps you dress and maybe even brings a few accessories. You’ll have to be careful who you ask, if you’re not in a friendly environment for this. However, we have some members who travel for work and have told us stories of dressing in the hotel and having someone come in and help them. This sort of situation is ideal for pictures as well.
If you dress, have a glass or two of wine, and then at 2 am take a pic in the ornate hotel lobby you will not be the first to have done it, I guarantee! Either way, try and do the pic in a nice location. Take the time to dress nicely, really think about the look you wish to present, and then have fun with it.
Here’s a few suggestions to help you have a few things to make the pic more interesting. Whether you are an Admirer, or a CD these tips are quite helpful.
Tips for your photos:
- Make up – keep it simple but classy. See if you can find a girlfriend to help. Have fun with it, but don’t over do it. Less is often better.
- Choose something that looks cool, but keep it simple. The tried and tested simple outfits are always great. Nylons, heels, and choose a number of outfits to experiment with.
- Accessorise! You need the bangles, scarves and earings – even if it’s just to play around with.
- Sketch out what you’d like to look like, so when it comes time to take a picture you have some idea what it’s meant to achieve.
- Choose a simple background that doesn’t detract from you too much.
- Lighting is important. If possible, use plenty. If you’re shooting in daylight, harsh sunlight and shadows don’t help. Overcast skies give a flatter more forgiving light.
- If you’re in a low light situation try to use a camera which has adjustable ISO settings, and get them up to about 1600.
- The images are not going to be used large, so it doesn’t matter if they are a little grainy.
- The sexiest thing you can wear is a smile.
- Don’t try and look too slutty. If you’re over 30, don’t try to look like a school girl. Try to look like a confident woman who is comfortable in her skin. If you’re over 60, look at the women out there of that age that look wonderful, and emulate that look.
- Using a camera and having a tripod makes images look way better than a hand held selfie.
- Using a tiny bit of forced flash often lifts the colors nicely.
The most important thing in getting the picture is to have fun. If you’re doing it on a phone you can still get great pics. You also have the advantage of being able to use an App like InstaBeauty, though you have a little less control of the image. It’s really down to what your photographic skil level is.
Bernard, Fiona’s photographer, always says that it’s not the size of your lens that important. It’s how you use it. I think he’s probably right about that.
I will make a point of posting another tutorial about creating your profile on My Little Black Book in the next few days. In the meantime, if you haven’t checked it out do so here: http://fionadobson.com/fionas-little-black-book/
Or, if you’re looking to date a crossdresser, have a look into joining the Admirer’s Club here: http://fionadobson.com/the-admirers-club-2/