I am pretty sure that Sylvester is a petrosexual. He will likely be the last man on earth to buy an electric car.
Perhaps I have not introduced Sylvester as best I could. Today I will devote a moment or two to help you understand this man who plays such a large part in my life. And his large part is something I think of very fondly, of course. As he walks up toward my front door, his Harley Davidson leaking oil on my driveway, one can easily tell he is a man of distinction in his lime green shorts, Hawaiian shirt and straw pork pie hat.
It is a source of great concern to me that he has a ludicrous preoccupation with my wife’s friend Amanda, the queen of tweed. There is a sort of twisted logic to this. I should explain, as I know you’re interested.
First of all, Amanda is in a relationship with Marjory, my neighbour. Surprisingly Amanda also had a brief fling with my wife while they were at university together, though I am assured that is all history now. All the same, She Whose Name I Dare Not Speak insists I keep good relations with Amanda.
Secondly, Amanda drives a Prius. Now, correct me if I am wrong – which I am not – but isn’t that a bit ironic since, metaphorically speaking – Sylvester would like to change her engine oil and slide his petrol pump into her yearning tank? I think you get the general idea. I should add, a this point, that Douglas, the nice man who imports Toyotas to Canada mentioned the other day over a coffee, that they had a special meeting after Amanda bought her Prius Hybrid. Apparently, it was the first time anyone had ever ordered the beige model, with beige seats. These are usually provided as courtesy cars to anyone who drives into a snow plough, or they end up sold off at a discount.
With all this in mind it seems unusual that Sylvester should become infatuated with Amanda. I can only put it down to the possibility that some people always find themselves attracted to the unattainable. And it is true that Sylvester is repeating a behaviour he has engaged in before. The whole Taylor Swift incident is something we rather avoid talking about. Needless to say the restraining order should expire in the next couple of years.
The only mitigating factor in Sylvester’s favor in his ridiculous pursuit of Amanda is that, as the Editor of Pig And Pig Farmer Weekly, Amanda does indeed have some relevant experience. Either way, it all seems rather odd to me that Sylvester, who is often found up to his elbows under a Camaro, has got himself all hot under his Carhart overalls forAmanda, who in turn is to be found up to her elbows under Marjory. Truly, the heart is a complex organ.
But, that is not the main reason I am writing. I thought I’d drop you a quick line to remind you that the next episode of Clothes Maketh The Man is out. Yes, Part 64 has hit the street. You can find it here. Thanks to all my Patreon members and members here; your generosity in supporting me helps me keep producing great content.
In these difficult times for the trans community I am urging my members to wear a trans pin where ever possible. You can buy a pack of ten from here – https://amzn.to/46AILf5 . I give these to friends and allies to wear if they wish to. I say this because when people hear about the idiocy of the actions of Justice Robert’s Supreme Court it’s all somewhat abstract. As hard won trans rights and LGBTQ rights are eroded it is important that we help others understand just who it is that they’re abusing. It’s you, it’s me, it’s the nurse driving to work in traffic next to you, and it’s the troubled teen who needs proper counselling. There’s nothing abstract about the mother sobbing because her son has opened his wrists. We have to treat this as we do so many things, with dignity and kindness. We can do so in the knowledge that there is a special place in hell for scum like Justice Roberts. https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/02/politics/john-roberts-scotus-dissent/index.html
We will get through. We will do so by caring for those others would abuse, by extending kindness to those with only hatred in their hearts, and by being better human beings than they ever could aspire to be.
Have a wonderful week.
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