What a lovely conversation with Ella today, one of my website visitors I had the good fortune to chat with. Ella wanted some suggestions for a sports bra she could wear under her clothes at work. Sometimes wearing something special beneath our other clothes is a nice way to quietly indulge ourselves without others knowing.
I suggested something I had done myself – simply choosing a nice sports bra to wear discretely. Depending what you wear over it you can choose any of hundreds of styles. Here’s a couple of my personal favorites.
This tank top with built in bra features a sexy sweetheart neckline. The widen band on the bottom makes it more snug fit, lifts the girls nicely, which makes sure this sports yoga bra don’t easily slide or roll up, and helpfully keeps your boobs in the place when you’re doing low-medium impact exercises.
Sports bras used to be very basic, little more than a tight elasticated band built to compress and hold firm. Nowadays there are many more designs and flamboyant options. Depending what you wear over them, you can enjoy the sensation of a firm hold, while still enjoying a flair for fun.
Everyone struggles with this in the early stages of their journey. Those guilty moments of looking at a collection of clothes and saying to yourself ‘what am I doing?’, followed by throwing out sometimes expensive clothes.
You don’t have to do it this way. There’s a few things that will help, and all you need to do is step through this simple process to remove the purging and save yourself some money. So, if you want to end that wasteful process, read this, and act on it.
Step One. Understand this is all about shame. You swing like a pendulum moving from excitement dressing, to shame and regret that you’re doing this in secret. You can start the process of getting past this by understand that there’s nothing shameless about this. It’s simply a part of you longing for fulfillment. The simplest way to start getting over this is to using my hypnosis content. Try this for a start.
Step Two. You are going to need to start understanding what this is about. If it’s more than a passing fetish (and it is if you’re really feeling shame), then you ae going to want to understand more about trans issues, and how it’s perfectly understandable and normal for many of us. You may not be a ‘woman’ but you may feel like one. That’s neither an illness, nor a sin. It may be a signal that there’s something going on you’re going to have to organise in your head. If you listen to some of the videos in my Featured Friends sections you will find that most of us are perfectly normal and reasonable people. We’re not freaks. We’re probably just like you. Below is a video by Contrapoints that’s a fun place to start but gives you some serious things to think about. Listen to it, and then come back to it again a day later and listen to it again. Understand it. This stuff takes time and is a lot to assimilate, but if you’re going to understand this stuff you need to do it.
Step Three. When you purge you’re probably tossing out hyper femme clothes you feel, in a moment of shame, are not ‘you’. You’re going to change how you dress. Instead of buying some excessively feminine clothes, you can by more practical androgynous clothes that move you into a semi femme aesthetic. There will be time to buy the more femme clothes later. That’s not to say you won’t have any super femme clothes, but you will also have some nice simple androgynous clothing. Getting the pastel lambs wool sweater and the more feminine cut jeans will not arouse others concerns, but will allow you to dress in a more androgynous way any time you like. Putting on a little eye makeup is all you need to present much more femme whenever you wish to. You’re not going to toss clothes like that and you won’t feel shame associated with them.
Step Four. This is not meant to be a hard sell. I don’t need to do that, and people in my programs know it’s not my way. However, to send your expensive habit of purging clothes you will help yourself enormously if you join my Premium Program, because it will help you learn more and accept more about yourself. This is all about understanding your gender, and accepting yourself. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about being who you are. So subscribe to the damned program and stop wasting money!
These steps will help, if you do them. If you don’t, well I’ll see you back here when you do it all over again, because this thing doesn’t just stop. It’s part of you.
Since I had Sylvester do some work on my electrical wiring I have been having trouble with my fuses. Periodically I find myself bathed in darkness as the electricity goes out. I’ve had several electricians come to check the system, and another is coming to check the fuses shortly. Currently I blow three or four a week under the stairs. Frankly, I’ve had about as much as I can swallow. I think I should just replace the entire wiring system.
That, however is not the main reason I am writing today. I thought I’d include a little tip for all those crossdressers who are yet to master their make up, and let’s be honest, there’s a few!
Generally a girl starts playing with make up when they’re nine or ten years old. These are often forrays into mum’s handbag or make up draw and at first they are disastrous. However, particularly after playing with friends, they gradually improve. As they get older their makeup often becomes bolder and they learn various subtleties in their choices of color and their techniques.
Many crossdressers struggle, and get upset with themselves for not getting great results from the very start of their makeup use. This can be disheartening. I understand, and you should be aware that it doesn’t have to be that way. Be patient and practice.
While I don’t generally give specific make up tips – there’s many others out there who do amazing makeup tutorials on Youtube – I will offer this. If you choose subtle colors, using minimal amounts, you can gradually incorporate a few colors into your everyday regime without putting yourself into a position where you’re exposing yourself unnecessarily. A subtle amount of eye makeup to sharpen your look is a great way to feel feminine and to gradually improve your makeup skills.
The palette above is a good example of what you may want to start using. Nothing too garish, unless you are really ready to go full Ru Paul on the world. If you’re just starting out, applying a nice blend of shades now and then will be satisfying and even if you’re not completely ‘out’, can really help you enjoy your look.
After using make up for years I can firmly attest that less is generally more. Don’t be afraid to go for ‘subtle’. It will build up your confidence and if you can integrate it into your daily life. Then as you do gain proficiency you will find that experimenting with a greater range of tones is easy.
The other tip I’d add for anyone using eyeshadows for the first time is to be sure you have a selection of brushes. Applying the shades with a nice brush gives you even coverage and makes merging one color with another much easier. Using a little foundation on the eyelid will provide a smooth start point, though sometimes when you just need to grab and go, it’s not entirely necessary.
Enjoy the video tutorial below, but be sure to explore the Amazon link below for color palettes that might work well for you. In the end be sure to remember that practice makes perfect.
Don’t forget, you can join my Elite Whatsapp Group to enjoy chatting with new friends about your adventures with makeup. Check out the Elite Whatsapp Group here.
I’ve always felt great support in my yoga, knowing that Sebastian is right behind me, whether I am doing a forward fold or a sun salutation. Always knowing he’s there to plunge in and make sure I don’t overdo it is a constant source of reassurance for me.
At his suggestion I am including a few of his ideas for anyone interested in enjoying yoga. Now, as you likely know, yoga isn’t just about stretching. Some people would even say that to think of it in those limited terms is quite ignorant. It is, of course, also about looking good.
To quote Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you look.”
So I’m including a small selection of clothing ideas you may enjoy. As I write this I am sitting on Sebastian’s right hand and we’re creating it together. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.
This is a great sports bra. It can easily be padded for the fuller look, but is great for a thorough workout too. It’s available in a range of great colors and will look great as you pretzel yourself into shape.
What could be better. High waisted yoga shorts feel lovely and emphasize your waist. They’re also comfortable and convenient to wear. Carrying a pair in a back pack and slipping into them before your yoga class is a simple way to look great and change swiftly into something that will be great to work out in.
It’s important to have a nice pair of leggings, whether you’re doing yoga or just relaxing at home. They show of your legs and have a desirable slimming effect for most body shapes. These particular ones offer a high waist, which helps tummy control. Can you think of a better way of showing off your great shape?
All yoga wear should be comfortable and help you feel positive. It’s worth taking time to find clothes that you can enjoy while practicing yoga. You’ll find this enhances your practice and makes the whole experience more enjoyable.
Amanda, Ali and Sylvester have popped over for a light lunch of cheese and the pickles I make myself. I do enjoying pickling the onions and some of the other vegetables Ali and I grow in the garden. The cheese we have from Quebec is also particularly good. And of course sometimes I run out of the pickles I make myself, and so I have to palm them off with relish.
I was just listening to Amanda clomping about in my kitchen, when I remembered that as we approach spring I am going to need some new things. First among additions to my wardrobe will be a nice pair of medium heels.
I also love sandals. Something that’s easy to get into and easy to slide out of. (Phrasing). One simply cannot have too many pairs of heels.
At only $39.99 these Peep Toe Stiletto Backless Slides Heeled Sandals are a joy to wear or look at. Patent leather and a medium heel mean you will have quality and comfort. You can buy them HERE.
I do find that if I only wear very high heels my feet, legs and back all regret it. However, a slightly more forgiving pair are always a good idea. I get to wear them more, I am in less pain and of course it’s a great excuse to add to my wardrobe.
These lovely three inch heels come in mens sizes and look delightful whether with a pair of jeans or a skirt. Now is the time to start planning your look as the days start to get a little warmer. What are you looking at adding to your wardrobe in spring?