I am thrilled to be spending a little time in Mexico in the beautiful Baja peninsula. I’ll be online most evenings over Christmas and chatting through the website chat function. And no, it’s not a chat bot. It’s really me.
For any of my lovely members wanting to reach out, feel free to come by and say hello.
As I said to Sylvester just today, “I don’t like to think of any of my members struggling over Christmas. I like them to have a place they can come.”
Sylvester then made some obscene comment not worth repeating here. You know he really can be quite coarse.
If you’re feeling at a loose end try some of my Stories or for something a little different have a look at some of my Featured Friends. There’s a load of content there that will keep you entertained. Failing that, just listen to some of the music HERE.
David harbors a secret inner self. You’re going to love Diana! Enjoy more Mollie Blake here!
It was just two weeks before Christmas when David pulled up outside a small remote cottage in the heart of the New Forest, England. He, or rather Diana, sometimes rented this place to escape. Here, there was no one to hide from. His suitcase was full of flouncy dresses and skirts, sparkly festive tops, sexy lingerie and make-up, with space left for some colourful running gear.
The fresh air of
the forest made running here a lot more endurable than jogging on the treadmill
in the gym, and the eye-catching patterned Lycra and pink bandana made it a lot
more fun.
On the second
morning, clad in tight-fitting black and white animal print Lycra with a length
of tinsel tied around his waist, a shocking pink bandana and gloves to match, and
run-proof(!) mascara with fuchsia lipstick, David set off down the track. Along
the ten mile trail he was accompanied by nothing more than chilly air and
crunching leaves and twigs beneath his feet.
âHey! Sorry to
interrupt your run but could you do me a huge favour?â
The voice appeared to come from a massive brown dog, and it stopped David in his tracks. Fuck! Thatâs a big dog.
I do so hope youâre getting ready for a lovely Christmas. I will likely be on the website chatting with members and friends. We will manage though, but I feel it is important to remind my lovely members we are still in the throes of a pandemic. Just be a little careful.
In the meantime some of my more organised friends are getting ready for the New Year. I think it might be a little optimistic, but Marjory (who you will remember does well on the competitive eating circuit) is already going through her schedule for next yearâs competitive eating events. Itâs very competitive as you probably know. The organizers stage legs in various cities throughout the South. She is diligently trying to plan out next yearâs schedule.
Inevitably itâs always at a time when Amanda is also very busy. However she usually manages to slip away from her demanding schedule at Pig And Pig Farmer a few times in the season to meet up with Marjory and give her a kiss between the legs.
But thatâs not the main reason I am writing to you. I was most surprised this morning to look out of my back window and see Sylvester struggling up the back lane with a trailer behind his truck. Apparently, with all these restrictions on gatherings, the local church has taken the opportunity to do some much needed maintenance. Sylvester has helped by delivering some of their things to the company that services them.
Looking from my kitchen window I saw his truck approaching in the lane behind my house pulling an enormous trailer. I opened my window and called out to Sylvester, âWhat on earth do you have there, dear?â
âItâs the organ,â he replied. âI need to park it up while I get a tarpaulin. It looks like it might rain in a little while.â
âThatâs OK,â I called down the lane. âJust leave it in my back passage.â
I hope he gets a tarpaulin for it quickly. Itâs much better wrapped, I think. Parked there it will be fine for a couple of hours though, I think. What a very big heart Sylvester has, helping the church out like that. Rainbow has in the past offered yoga classes at the church, and when the members of the church council organised a collection for her, knowing sheâs not got much work at present, they presented her with a handy and much needed windfall.
I asked her what she was planning to do with it, and she said she was very grateful to the gentlemen of the church council and that she was planning to blow the whole lot over Christmas. It seemed a rather unusual turn of phrase, I have to admit.
For those of you alone this Christmas I really do think you’d enjoy my Whatsapp Group. It provides a level of community connection many of us are missing in our lives. There’s an active group of crossdressing friends there and we’d welcome you as well. You can find all the details HERE. It’s much better than feeling alone over Christmas. Of course I also have a couple of other ways for you to connect and feel part of the community.
I will be writing again soon, but if you find yourself with a little time on your hands over the Christmas period, be sure to check out my Patreon. For those who donât have much in the way of community around them, I would suggest you join my Whatsapp Group and connect with the lovely group of members who are chatting so nicely on there.
Iâll be in touch soon, but now I have to go and see what Sylvester is up to. He appears to be putting some sort of lubricant on his organ.
I really do enjoy having a few friends over in the evening. So it was that I found myself, just the other day, hosting a small party with Sylvester, Auntie Kittie, Sebastian, Rainbow and her new friend, Epiphany. Just use those links if you’d like to explore a little more detail of each of these great friends.
Iâd prepared a small variety of dishes. You know how it is when you are taking into account the various dietary needs of people, Iâm sure. When I had asked Epiphany what sort of foods she enjoyed she had informed me that she ‘preferred not to feast on the flesh of murdered animals.â
Epiphany is a very slight girl. I am sure sheâll become Rainbowâs lover. She has very small hands.
As Sylvester was listening to Rainbow talking about a flasher who has been frightening people in a local park, I put out the tofu drizzled with a peanut satay sauce.
âHe was about average height and had a big coat. And I think he was right handed,â said Rainbow who didnât seem the slightest concerned that sheâd been exposed to in such a manner, when out for her evening run.
âHow exciting,â I said. âAnd with all this cold weather, too!â
Epiphany and Rainbow, both choosing not to eat meat, were extolling the virtues of a vegetarian diet.
âI have often thought I should become vegetarian,â I said. âThough I really do enjoy seafood.â
Sylvester decided to chime in and added, âFiona does love a winkle in cider now and then.â
I told Sylvester to shut up, you know he really can be quite coarse at times.
At this point Auntie Kittie chimed in that she thought everybody loves a well prepared bird on the table, âand honestly, girls, who doesnât love a good stuffing?â
I gave Sylvester a sharp kick under the table as I saw his mouth open, but before he could make some crude comment. He muttered something about everyone loving a good sausage.
Itâs such a good thing I always prepare a variety delights for my guests. I served the various dishes but not before suggesting to my assembled guests that they should be sure to leave a little room for desert. What a surprise it was for them when, after I cleared away the main course Auntie emerged from the kitchen and whipped out her dumplings covered in cream!
But thatâs not the main reason Iâm writing to you today. I am trying to build up my Patreon following. It’s an up hill struggle, but the more members I can grow there, the more content I can release. Your support is greatly appreciated, especially in these tough times. In case you donât know you can support me there by subscribing for as little as $5, or if you choose to become one of my Unicorn level members you can get one of my famous âYou want me to use which bathroomâ mugs. Who could resist such an offering!
Have a lovely evening,
Fiona
PS. Enjoy the video with Annie Lennox, Hugh Laurie and John Malkovich below.
I am often asked by my members and friends, âwhat can I do right now to stop the spread of hate that is so pervasive in American politics today?â. While itâs great to march or protest, the fact remains many of us donât wish to out ourselves in that way.
Yet, we also want to do what we can to support trans rights, and simply prevent the relentless onslaught on gender issues that seems to be a part of life in America today. My response is usually the same. Vote.
However, thereâs only the opportunity to vote every couple of years and for some people it can seem a pointless exercise, particularly if you live in a state that is overwhelmingly controlled by the Republican party. Today I have a simple recipe for people wanting to make a difference. Here are three simple things that you can do that will help. In suggesting these initiatives I would remind my friends that this is a long game. It took a long time to win the freedoms we have achieved so far, and it may take a long time to protect them.
I hope youâre ready for the thanksgiving celebrations, where we turn to look at one another and count our blessings. A time when every self respecting crossdresser looks about at their closest family and wonders âOh my god! Who the hell are these people!â
Yes, many of my members have said to me that this is one of the most challenging times of year for them. It ranks right along with Christmas, when friends and family wear their bad taste sweaters and we can barely find the time or space to slip into a nice pair of frilly panties or a simple skirt and blouse.
And, of course, thereâs the family get together. That joyful time when our distant relatives become our nearest and not so dearest, reminding us that thereâs a reason we donât invite Uncle Billy Bob and his revolting offspring to visit every other weekend of the year. As they pull up, parking in the bike lane outside the apartment, in their Dodge Asshole Wagon, complete with confederate flag licence plate, we are can only reflect that it is sometimes our differences that make us strong. And that as they unload their arsenal of concealed carry weaponry, it sometimes isnât.
As Sylvester told me just the other day, âMy brother in law arrived, and I said to him to make himself at home.â
âWell, thatâs very courteous of you, Sylvester. Well done,â I replied. I like to encourage any evidence of humanity in Sylvester.
He went on to say that his brother said, âI always do. Wherever I hang my hat is home!ââ
His brother in law then took off his MAGA hat, hung it on the spare room door and went on to spend most of the weekend banging Sylvesterâs long suffering sister while poor Sylvester ended up baby sitting their three revolting children. The weekend was only brought to a hurried close when one of their neighbours called to tell him that their landlord was loading their belongings onto a truck and they were being evicted.
Worried that he might have taken the whole âmake yourself at homeâ thing a little too literally, Sylvester waited till theyâd hurriedly rushed home four hours away, and then packed his own place up, locked it securely, turned off his cell phone and went on an extended four day fishing trip with Bernard.
As much as we do love our families, many of us feel we donât need to expose them to this particular side of our nature. As such, and I know this is hard, we sometimes have to smile and bite our tongue as we listen to their insane rhetoric and political views, and quietly remind ourselves, âitâs only once or twice a year.â There are some arguments that there is no point engaging in.
In all seriousness, I do urge you as we go into this Thanksgiving holiday, when a family member bursts forth with some offensive views, ask yourself, âIs this an argument I can possibly win? Will Uncle Billy Bob really turn round later and say, âGee, you know youâre right!â. If the answer is ânoâ, then I suggest you to learn the words that every good husband learns at some point in a marriage:
âYouâre probably right, dear.â
One can learn to say those treasured words in such a way that everyone else around the Thanksgiving table knows damned well that what youâre really saying is, âYouâre an uninformed bigoted idiot and youâre wrongâ. We save our energy for the battles that can be won. They are more often subtle, the evidence of our own kindness, and the way we lead by example, allowing our sensitive more loving nature to lead our actions. We are, after all, the living proof of our worthiness.
So, how does one strike back? One does so quietly, with grace and calm. One way is to make sure you vote in all elections for people that share your values. Obviously today I am speaking mainly to my US audience, but these words are equally true wherever you are. For US members, understanding that many of the values presented by the Republican party are resulting in our sisters being targeted and abused is something we simply cannot ignore. While we may not change much by getting in an argument with Uncle Billy Bob, we can use our vote to instigate wider change.
Another way to help is, if youâre feeling strongly about these issues, back a politician who is making a difference for our community with a donation, even if itâs only a few dollars. I am not generally a fan of politicians, but these are trying times. I can wholeheartedly recommend Zooey Zephyr, who is doing great work in Montana. Even if you donât live in Montana, helping Zooey is a good way to move our agenda forward. If we can make headway there, we will encourage people to come forward elsewhere.
And finally, if all else fails, you can become a member with me and support my work. I say that as, in my own small way, I do my best to be supportive to the trans community and many of my crossdressing members who cannot openly show themselves, by providing supportive content. Iâm currently trying to rebuild my Patreon base, so even joining as a Good Gurl for just $5 goes a long way to delivering quality supportive material to your sisters.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and know that as one of my members, I give thanks for you.
Below is some good advice from Natalie Wynn, Contrapoints. Have a wonderful weekend.
I am sure you know, I work at an advertising agency. More accurately, I attend. Fortunately the partners seem to enjoy having me around.
As luck would have it I was invited to a party being thrown by one of the partnerâs wives, and against my better judgement decided to bring Sylvester as my plus one. I should have realised this was a bad idea, but all the same Sylvester lurched his way into the beach front condo and mingled with the various guests. I knew a few of those invited, but to be honest I think I was only invited to bump the numbers up a little.
Across the room Sylvester quaffed his beer heartily and started in on another bawdy story to the poor man he was cornering.
âSo, this priest, a hooker and a dwarf go into a bar,â said Sylvester. I decided to withdraw to the other side of the room. You know, Sylvester can be really quite coarse at times.
Instead I reluctantly listened to one of the guests walking me through her organic method of vaginal hygiene, and asking me if I thought it might have commercial potential. This is an occupational hazard when one is in marketing. One has to look interested and nod a great deal.
Chantelle, the partnerâs wife, eventually collared me and to my surprise told me that they were so pleased Iâd brought Sylvester, still talking to the pale looking man heâd cornered earlier.
âReally,â I said, quite puzzled. âSylvester is a little,â and here I searched for words, ââŠa little fundamental for most polite company.â
âItâs so good to see someone getting on so well with my brother,â said Chantelle. âHe finds it so hard to connect with people since he was ordained.â
But thatâs not the main reason Iâm writing today.
I thought Iâd just remind you how very well received some of my hypnosis MP3âs have been. You can see a few HERE. Be sure to check them out. By using them in the evenings before you go to sleep you can enjoy the effect of hypnosis. Let me know how you get along.
Listener Claire asks a great question about how to move in a more feminine way. We can’t all be ballerinas or elegant gliding angles on ice like the truck drivers of Manitoba, but we can all take some yoga or barre, work on our posture, get video to track our progress, and attempt to emulate the Playboy bunny walk. But ultimately, it all comes down to practice.
What a creative group of people I surround myself with, I thought to myself as I sat on Sylvesterâs boner. It was shaking this way and that, the vibrations rising up through my body in a very unsettling manner.
Sylvesterâs workshop has all manner of strange things in it. He is quite the amateur inventor. Heâd called me earlier that day, excited about his new development. Naturally, I hurried over to his workshop to see what the fuss was all about.
As I arrived Bernard, my photographer, was pulling up.
âHe wantâs me to photograph it,â he said as we entered the workshop. âSayâs itâs an historical moment.â
As we arrived Sylvester stood beside a large cube shaped object. I thought it might be a washing machine, though it was covered with a sheet. Suddenly, with a great flourish, Sylvester swept away the sheet revealing a strange device with the words âThe Bonerâ skillfully painted over the front of it.
âLet me demonstrate my new invention,â he said, clearly expecting our excitement to match his.
I clutched my hands before me, teetered to and fro on my heels, and said, âHow exciting!â
With that Sylvester brought a small basket of frozen chickens, probably about five, and emptied them into the chamber in the centre of the cube. He then released a valve and I could hear water filling the chamber and see steam rising.
Bernard started snapping off pictures, and I began to smell chicken cooking as Sylvester closed the chamber. There were spurting sounds, and something that looked like a cappuccino machine released steam from the side of the contraption. In a few moments a bell ran, and chicken broth was pumped from a pipe at the foot of the machine.
Then the device started vibrating and shaking, and a burst of super heated steam was released. It looked ok for a moment and then I noticed the look of panic on Sylvester’s face.
âQuick, Fiona, climb on the Boner. You sit on it while I get out my tool.â
âSylvesterâŠâ I said uncertainly. âIâm not sure about this.â It seemed to be shaking and rattling quite dangerously.
âClimb on it or it may shake itself to destruction.â Sylvester was reaching into one of the colorful tool chests, trying to find his special tool.
I carefully climbed on to the Boner, the shaking going through my whole body. As I sat there I thought it was going to explode, and I must say my breath was quite taken away.
And then, quite suddenly Sylvester was there, between my legs with his tool. He jerked it this way and that and before long the shaking began to subside. At last there was a gurgling sound and a hatch popped open revealing two draws. Sylvester opened one, and brought out some perfectly cooked chicken meat. The smell filled the workshop with a delicious aroma.
From the second draw he drew out a tray containing all the chicken bones, completely cleaned of meat.
âItâs perfect,â he cried out. âEvery bone has been extracted and the meat remains undamaged.â
âGoodness,â I said, feeling quite out of breath. âWhat a remarkable invention. I can imagine everyone will want a Boner.â
Sylvester said, “Imagine, a Boner in every kitchen!”
Bernard chimed in âPeople will be asking what on earth they did before they had a Boner!â
âImagine, if you could find a way to extract the dark meat,â I said.
âI should think that would make it much bigger,â mused Sylvester. âDo you think thereâd be a market for such a thing? It would be a much larger and more powerful Boner.â
âI canât see that being a bad thing,â I replied.
So you can see itâs been a very eventful few days. Have a wonderful weekend!
đ
Fiona
When was the last time you played around? Dressed? That’s got to be a good one for Playtime With Fiona! My good friend and member of our Whatapp Group, Daphanie, loves to play a round of golf fully dressed. What’s your secret pleasure?
Â
Don’t forget, I’ve got many free videos for you on Youtube.
Did you know?
When you sign up for my Premium Program, you get a series of exercises, as well as the self hypnosis and educational information for Julie and myself, that’s sure to make all your crossdressing activities way more fun. One recent member wrote: “Your program changed my life))) especially the initial encounter with the man who is now my bf)) thank you!!!”
Whether you want to just occasionally slip on some panties, or whether you’d like to pass, my Premium Program prepares you psychologically, physically and educationally for all you need to know. You can sign up today for just $14.99 a month. Join the many members who are finding more acceptance and happiness in this wonderful part of their life.
âSwallow, Fiona!â said Sebastian, pushing me onward.
âButâŠâ I protested, my mouth almost overflowing.
Rainbow, Sebastian’s sister, added, âGo on, Fiona. Youâve taken more than a couple of mouthfuls already.â
She gave me a knowing look and whispered, âI know you love it really!â Then she lay back on her yoga mat in my garden, the soft fragrance of lavender wafting over us.
I should explain, Rainbow and Sebastian are at my place this morning and brought some healthy kale and ginger smoothies with them. I know how good it is for me, so even though I may gag a little, I manage to force it down. I donât mind Sebastian and Rainbow coming over for breakfast and we enjoy it in the comfort of my garden.
âIt tastes very,â I searched for words, ââŠhealthy.â
It tasted so healthy I wondered if I was going to throw up. Itâs not the first time Iâve been exposed to this recipe. To be fair, one does feel wonderful when one stops drinking it.
Sebastian is a very diligent personal trainer. He and his sister come over to my place every two or three days for morning yoga, which helps me keep nice and trim and I feel glad of their presence. I get to dress in a beautiful leotard and tights as we do our yoga class and all the while Max (my next door neighborâs young son) surreptitiously watches us through his binoculars from his bedroom window. I think he’s furthering his knowledge of human anatomy. He should be careful doing too much of that, he could go blind.
âYou know,â said Sebastian, âyour body is the sum total of all that you put into it. Itâs best to choose things that are wholesome.â
I briefly thought back, remembering a long and and enjoyable youth, and smiled.
âSee,â cut in Sebastian, âthe thought has brought a smile back to your face.â
âNo, you misunderstand,â I replied. âI was just thinking about a little encounter I had last fall. Very wholesome.”
Enjoy the beautiful song by Marvin Gaye. Be sure to let me know how youâre getting along.
Going back to places in our past can stir up emotions, don’t you think? Perhaps it’s the same for you. Settle down and enjoy this story, as Jeff returns to his old apartment to find more than a few old cobwebs.
As summer gently shimmys toward the exit door, and fall gets in the queue to get into the club of the passing year, weâre slowly seeing the weather change. Even Auntie Kittie has started wearing a sweater now and then, a matter of considerable relief to Max, who types up her material.
Auntie Kittie is often surprised how quickly Max gets it up.
âMax is such a dear,â she said the other day. âIâm so grateful heâs so good at putting it in. Heâs so thorough.â and then added as an after thought,â⊠and so quick.â
The poor 20 year old lamb goes the color of a beetroot when heâs embarrassed, and Auntie Kittie will say such things in front of Sylvester and Mistress Meg. And it was Sylvester and Meg who were sitting at my kitchen table this very morning. Sylvester was telling us how in these troubled times we should all be finding ways to lift our spirits. Instead of worrying about the Corona Virus we should be reaching deeply within ourselves and fostering our creativity. Meg was a little skeptical.
Iâve been doing that very thing myself. Iâve been doing a little embroidery, making some of my jeans look a little more feminine by adding a few little designs. Itâs really very simple and gives even the most masculine of trousers a nice feminine touch. If youâd like to change your favorite dungarees from the farm yard, or even the ones you wear when cleaning out the slag from the iron foundry this will do just the trick. Even your most stylish denim pants can be personalised and uplifted â and we could all use a personalised uplifting of our denim clad butts, Iâm sure youâll agree.
I leaned over the kitchen table and turned to Sylvester and said, âWhat do you think of this?â
Sylvester looked at my jeans as I did so, and said, âThatâs really very impressive. I think I should enter you.â
âSylvester, IâŠâ but before I could speak he went on, as Meg looked on, arms folded and unimpressed.
âI should enter you in the embroidery competition. Itâs part of the end of summer cultural fair at the recreation center.â
âOh, really I donât think so,â I said. âMost of the people entering are really rather older than I am. Theyâre quite a conservative lot. Iâm really not sure what theyâd make of me. I can imagine it would be like that poor South African athlete who they didnât believe was a woman.â
Sexy jeans – just add heels.
Sylvester looked a little doubtful. âNo, I donât think it would be like that.â
Anyway thatâs what Iâm doing. Sylvester tells me heâs working on a book. The Complete Idiotâs Guide To Being A Complete Idiot. A catchy title.
âAre you writing it or reading it?â muttered Meg, ever the acerbic wit.
It turns out that half the people in this competition Iâm now entered in are young arts students. I thought theyâd all be doddery old buffers like Auntie Kittieâs father, whoâs staying with her rather than going into a care home. These days that seems a rather good idea. The old fellow is about 150 years old and sits smiling looking into the far horizon. He seems a kindly old fellow, though the dementia is quite complete and he has little idea of whatâs going on. He seems cheerful, though.
I said to Auntie Kittie, the other day when I was round there, âHe looks like heâs fondly remembering the things he used to do when he was a young man.â
She frowned and agreed.
âYes, youâre probably right. Heâs remembering flying aeroplanes and bombing Germany. Heâs always been a belligerent old bugger.â
My photographer, Bernard, had a session with me this week. He’s a very nervous little man. So many times he gets so close, and his excitement overwhelms him. He starts getting so excited as he points his longest lens at me and says for me to relax, while he is just panting with anticipation. It’s a good job I like him so much.
“That’s it, darling,” he whimpers. “Keep it going.”
And I am working away so hard in front of him, which I have to say I love. Sessions in the studio are so much fun. I become a different gurl. Sometimes I just don’t know what comes over me!
Afterwards I have to slip back to the office, and the IT manager looks at me strangely. He said to one of the partners in the firm, “Some times I just just don’t know what gets into that one, I really don’t.”
Iâd like to say how happy I am this week, as Iâm getting into the office once a week. Thereâs really no need for me to be there more, as I love working from home, and I am able to cover my responsibilities easily this way.
On the way to dropping 30 and I at the rail station, my sister had reassured me that things at the company were ticking along just fine without me. The thought made me feel a little redundant. Yet, it wasnât a point of any concern to me, as I had other things to think about. Things like embracing an entirely new gender and lifestyle, and a new personality.
âBesides,â Jennifer had said, âyou donât think Devina would leave you in the lurch, do you?â
The mention of that name made me shiver. I wondered, did she miss me?
Well, itâs been a lovely week already. Here in Canada we have just celebrated Thanksgiving.
Amanda, who hails from the Midwest and is the esteemed editor of Pig And Pig Farmer Weekly, recently asked Sylvester why we celebrate Thanksgiving at a different time to our dear friends to the south, in the US. Sylvester cryptically replied, âThatâs one of those climate change things, Amanda,â which appeared to satisfy her.
I have to draw attention to a slight correction on the website, where some confusion arose among readers. As you know people ask my advice for all kinds of things. When Mildred, from Colorado Springs recently enquired about how to help her niece house train her new puppy, naturally I replied on the site with what I felt was very good advice.
âPick the puppy up, and take it around the house, saying ânoâ at each location, before carefully putting it down on a piece of old newspaper.â
A surprising number of readers thought I meant shoot it through the head. Well, itâs an understandable mistake.
To compensate I am offering those members who mentioned this a booklet I have prepared on how to remove animal blood stains from curtains and soft furnishings.
But thatâs not the main reason Iâm writing to you tonight. I thought I might mention to you a rather sweet gesture made by one of the ladies who are members of my feminization program for wives. You can find it here. What a thoughtful sweetheart she is.
Be sure to join my Patreon to show your support for my programs HERE.
Did you know?
