Help! There’s a bunch of fascists at my Thanksgiving Dinner!

I hope you’re ready for the thanksgiving celebrations, where we turn to look at one another and count our blessings. A time when every self respecting crossdresser looks about at their closest family and wonders “Oh my god! Who the hell are these people!”

Yes, many of my members have said to me that this is one of the most challenging times of year for them. It ranks right along with Christmas, when friends and family wear their bad taste sweaters and we can barely find the time or space to slip into a nice pair of frilly panties or a simple skirt and blouse.

And, of course, there’s the family get together. That joyful time when our distant relatives become our nearest and not so dearest, reminding us that there’s a reason we don’t invite Uncle Billy Bob and his revolting offspring to visit every other weekend of the year. As they pull up, parking in the bike lane outside the apartment, in their Dodge Asshole Wagon, complete with confederate flag licence plate, we are can only reflect that it is sometimes our differences that make us strong. And that as they unload their arsenal of concealed carry weaponry, it sometimes isn’t.

As Sylvester told me just the other day, “My brother in law arrived, and I said to him to make himself at home.”

“Well, that’s very courteous of you, Sylvester. Well done,” I replied. I like to encourage any evidence of humanity in Sylvester.

He went on to say that his brother said, ‘I always do. Wherever I hang my hat is home!’”

His brother in law then took off his MAGA hat, hung it on the spare room door and went on to spend most of the weekend banging Sylvester’s long suffering sister while poor Sylvester ended up baby sitting their three revolting children. The weekend was only brought to a hurried close when one of their neighbours called to tell him that their landlord was loading their belongings onto a truck and they were being evicted.

Worried that he might have taken the whole ‘make yourself at home’ thing a little too literally, Sylvester waited till they’d hurriedly rushed home four hours away, and then packed his own place up, locked it securely, turned off his cell phone and went on an extended four day fishing trip with Bernard.

As much as we do love our families, many of us feel we don’t need to expose them to this particular side of our nature. As such, and I know this is hard, we sometimes have to smile and bite our tongue as we listen to their insane rhetoric and political views, and quietly remind ourselves, ‘it’s only once or twice a year.’ There are some arguments that there is no point engaging in.

In all seriousness, I do urge you as we go into this Thanksgiving holiday, when a family member bursts forth with some offensive views, ask yourself, ‘Is this an argument I can possibly win? Will Uncle Billy Bob really turn round later and say, ‘Gee, you know you’re right!’. If the answer is ‘no’, then I suggest you to learn the words that every good husband learns at some point in a marriage:

“You’re probably right, dear.”

One can learn to say those treasured words in such a way that everyone else around the Thanksgiving table knows damned well that what you’re really saying is, “You’re an uninformed bigoted idiot and you’re wrong”. We save our energy for the battles that can be won. They are more often subtle, the evidence of our own kindness, and the way we lead by example, allowing our sensitive more loving nature to lead our actions. We are, after all, the living proof of our worthiness.

So, how does one strike back? One does so quietly, with grace and calm. One way is to make sure you vote in all elections for people that share your values. Obviously today I am speaking mainly to my US audience, but these words are equally true wherever you are. For US members, understanding that many of the values presented by the Republican party are resulting in our sisters being targeted and abused is something we simply cannot ignore. While we may not change much by getting in an argument with Uncle Billy Bob, we can use our vote to instigate wider change.

Another way to help is, if you’re feeling strongly about these issues, back a politician who is making a difference for our community with a donation, even if it’s only a few dollars. I am not generally a fan of politicians, but these are trying times. I can wholeheartedly recommend Zooey Zephyr, who is doing great work in Montana. Even if you don’t live in Montana, helping Zooey is a good way to move our agenda forward. If we can make headway there, we will encourage people to come forward elsewhere.

And finally, if all else fails, you can become a member with me and support my work. I say that as, in my own small way, I do my best to be supportive to the trans community and many of my crossdressing members who cannot openly show themselves, by providing supportive content. I’m currently trying to rebuild my Patreon base, so even joining as a Good Gurl for just $5 goes a long way to delivering quality supportive material to your sisters.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and know that as one of my members, I give thanks for you.

Below is some good advice from Natalie Wynn, Contrapoints. Have a wonderful weekend.

Fiona

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