Gender is a construct.

As people explore ideas about gender it can be helpful to learn from others who have walked this path or one similar to it. Gender Rebels is a podcast that explores the issues and has some informative content that can help us with our views of how gender impacts us, and how society perceives gender.


It’s a great day to be a Good Gurl!

So many of my members go through their lives suppressing this part of themselves. And yet in many ways it’s the most creative part of them.

Is it any wonder that they are frustrated and tired. So, to brighten your day, I have put together the Fiona Dobson playlist. Young Max helped me, fine young man, leaning over me from behind as worked on my laptop. We selected some songs, and I think he found some of them quite moving.

Breathlessly he said, “these are some great hits, we should get them out and give them an airing.”

“Music really is the best way to lift someone’s mood,” I said enjoying the selection.

“Oh yes,” he replied. “This will get them swinging.”

Young Max is such a puppy. Of course, he doesn’t remember when it was all vinyl. You might find this hard to believe, but I’ve had my hands on a huge number of 7 inchers over the years!

Enjoy the playlist below whenever you need to lift your mood. I add to it regularly.

Fiona

Join as a Good Gurl today!

Nice legs, shame about the face!

The music is by The Monks. It’s great – and fit’s this weeks message very nicely. If you listen the the words you’ll get a lot out of it! Jules Sanderson talks about passing, and how it really isn’t important while crossdressing.

Join as a Seahorse member today.

I was ‘outed’ to my kids by my stalker.

I would like to say it was a morning like any other. I would like to say I didn’t receive a string of texts from friends and family asking if what they were reading on line were true. I would like to say I wasn’t being outed by my stalker.

But we don’t always get what we want, do we?

Instead that morning, as I drove to work I made an awkward phone call to my son and asked, “So what are you seeing online?”

“Some weird guy says you’re a crossdresser. He say’s a load of stuff.”

I avoided sliding the car into the oncoming traffic and said, my voice a little strained, “And what did you say back?”

Continue reading “I was ‘outed’ to my kids by my stalker.”

Accepting the Woman Within.

Some of my good friends have said that as they enjoying crossdressing, they’ve noticed that the more they dress, the more they find themselves drifting to more gentle and feminine thinking. So many times, I have told people ‘if we do what we are meant to do, we will feel the way we are meant to feel.’

Now, Sylvester thinks this all rather silly. However, Sylvester has never pulled on a pair of panties and painted his nails. So, as you enjoy the site today, make a little time to work on your mind as well as your body. It will encourage these feelings even more. Take 5 minutes and forty three seconds to enjoy this delightful hypnosis.

🙂

Fiona

Let’s not get hung up on labels.

I see a lot of comments on forums and blogs about the idea of labels. It seems to be a common pass time to try to decide if transgender people are the same as transvestite people – and some terms are now archaic, and others have slipped into alternative use. One way or another I find it a complete mine field.

I am certainly not going to step into those debates. I do understand that there are many different types of people who choose to wear women’s clothes. Some are on their way to transition, others are choosing to put something on as they really find a sexual high out of it. Others still simply want to allow their femininity to blossom. Personally I am enjoying navigating the middle ground between genders that allows me to enjoy something of the best of all worlds. I think we cater to all of those possibilities here on FionaDobson.com.

I find the term ‘gender fluid’ fairly generic. The movement freely and easily between genders does describe what many of my members do, if not who they are. And there I think lies the safe ground. After all, do we really need these labels? Particularly here, if we really think of the phrase ‘Accept yourself as you are, create yourself as you desire’ you’ll see we are not really interested in what others think or how they choose to judge us.

Continue reading “Let’s not get hung up on labels.”

Where to start crossdressing?

So many of my friends privately confide in me that they’ve always wanted to crossdress, but just never really knew where to start. It’s not the clothes that were the problem, it was how to think about gender.

I generally suggest they listen to this talk to help get their heads in the right place. After all, crossdressing is more about what’s between your ears than what’s between your legs.

Pronouns.

Like many of us, I never got to talk to my parents about things like sexuality and transgender topics.  Both of my parents would have been mortified to have the subject raised over the Sunday roast. And then they died.

To be fair, I don’t think either of them were quite ready to talk about such topics.  They were born in the 1930’s and these are subjects that simply weren’t on the agenda during their lifetime. That is not to say that they don’t have a contribution to make on the subject of ‘Pronouns’.

My mother, a girdle wearing statuesque woman of conservative English values, held one thing above all others. Politeness to others.  Had I told her that a guest in our house identified as a punk rock hamster, then out of deference to the wishes of a guest we would have had to refer to the hamster at the table with unquestionable politeness and respect. I suspect that had Stalin or Mao showed up in our English parlour for tea, we would be expected to hold out the chair, sit after they had taken their place and make polite conversation about the intemperate weather and the  promising outlook for the turnip crop this year.

Raising the subject of genocide, persecution of minorities or (God forbid) the forced labor camp deaths of homosexual prisoners would have been considered bad form and may have resulted in a reluctance to return for tea another time. Admittedly this exact scenario never played out in our home counties home, but I think you can see where I am going with this.

Equally, it can come as no surprise that when my father watched a documentary about German prisoners of war – a small number of which escaped from a prison camp in Northern England in 1944 – he stared at the television screen with visible disdain. For the Waffen SS officers to have dug a tunnel out of the confines of a prison with a desert spoon merited their being sentenced to hang immediately, if for no better reason than to do so using a desert spoon, before the use of main course cutlery, was practically a crime against humanity. Well, English humanity, at least.

So, I can say with absolute certainty that had someone come to the house and mentioned that their chosen pronoun was ‘they’, then the matter was settled. They would be a ‘they’ from that moment on.

As archaic as it may seem, this concept holds true as well today as it did in their lives. Whether straight, gay or any shade between, their principal object was to be polite and treat people with respect. To date I have yet to come across a system that improves on this simple behaviour. After all, when we do behave in this manner people do generally treat us with respect in return.

Now, I have to put the tea on. I’m expecting Kim Jong-un any moment. The supreme leader wouldn’t like it if I failed to warm the pot before he arrives.

Fiona