Category: psychology

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Kelly’s operation.

This is a rather poignant exchange, used with permission, that shows how some of our members struggle. Life’s hurdles are made more complex for those of us searching for our inner gurl.

I hope you read the following exchange with kindness and the way it’s intended. Kelly is now recovering and you can leave your good wishes in the comments below.  FD

I received this from Kelly some weeks ago –

I found out this morning that my right foot is going to be amputated below the knee. And since the news my place has been people coming and going. Haven’t had a moment to myself to have a good cry. My fault for not getting to the doctors earlier just kept putting it off. So, I will have to wait on this and I was looking forward to enjoying my time of learning more about myself and inner woman. So sorry to have bothered you. Sincerely Kelly


We exchanged a few messages, and this morning this came in.

 

Ah Miss. Fiona,

I had my right leg amputated and now have to wait 8 weeks to heal. Then I’ll go back and have some screws removed all in good time.

Whenever I can sneak away from prying eyes I look at some of the other C.d.ers and wonder to myself how in the world can they wear those dresses and mini skirts and not be noticed that they are men. And some of them are beautiful and gorgeous, I must say.

I look, then think am I am a pervert for looking. It is going to take me a long time to even start, for I have to look in a mirror and get used to the idea that my leg is gone. But what can I say, or do, it’s my fault. But when the time is right I shall jump at the chance once again for to many years neglecting my inner needs.

So with sincerity I will close, and thank you.

Kelly


And here’s my response:

Hi Kelly,

First of all, ‘no’, you’re not a pervert. Those of us who choose to allow the feminine side of our personality to emerge are neither sick nor perverted. We are simply finding our way.

For many people the path is confusing. However, there are some who have blazed a trail and we can learn from them. Primary in our thoughts should be the fact that while we’re searching, it’s really a quest to discover ourselves. As one progresses along this road one realises that it’s more about accepting who we really are than imitating the female form. Acceptance that ‘this is who I am’ is the most important part.

Your amputation does not change ‘who you are’ one iota. There are many genetic females who also have their legs amputated. I cannot begin to imagine being in your shoes – or should I say ‘shoe’ – however, I do think a good idea may be to look at what a feminine amputee might wear. What is considered good for them? You see, nothing has changed. You are who you are; as you embrace that then, sure, you’ll have to deal with the health issue. However, it need not detract from the search for ‘Kelly’.

My thoughts go out to you, and my hopes and prayers. In the meantime, put your best foot forward (an easier choice now) and hop into a brighter future.

🙂

Fiona

And finally: –

Oh thank you Miss Fiona,

Doctor wants me to sit in front of a mirror so my mind can accept the fact my leg is gone. And yes after i go through all this emotional change to my body I will pursue my dreams. Just bear with me on this deal but thank you for the encouraging words.

Sincerely Kelly

 

Please use the comments section below to pass on your best wishes.

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We surveyed 2389 of our crossdresser members to see how they defined themselves. Here are the results.

We surveyed 2389 of our crossdresser members to see how they defined themselves. Here are the results.

Do you consider yourself heterosexual, bisexual or gay?

Heterosexual 786 (35%)
Bisexual 1105 (49%)
Gay 189 (8%)
None of the above 189 (8%)
 
There were also some very interesting comments made by some of our respondents. Poor Max, he’s been slaving over these numbers, and bringing them down to me as I sit in the spring sunshine.
 
 
When I saw how many people said ‘none of the above’ I nearly dropped my Martini! I’ve sent him back three times already to check those numbers, and bring me some sunscreen as well. He’s a good boy.
 
 
Among the comments one theme that came through was that some members found that if they were dressing at the time, they felt they were bisexual, however in the day to day life of dressing straight, they ‘felt’ straight and had no same sex attraction whatsoever.
 
 
One correspondent noted, rather unusually, ‘I’m 100% straight, I just like dick.’ I did feel the urge to probe that a little further, but resisted. After the first 500 responses the balance stayed more or less where it was at completion, so I am inclined to think these numbers are quite reflective of crossdressing friends.
 
 
One respondent did comment:
“Mainly hetero, occasionally bi, bordering on the lesbian part of my gurlishness.  Very often scratching my errrr… you know whats, in utter confusion about the gurl thing, and asking myself – “Why did I have to born a Catholic ?” That bit accounts for most of the guilt that rears its head once in a while…. :)”
 
 
Another said:
“I wish I was bisexual,  Haven’t taken that leap of faith and played with a crossdresser like myself, but want it so bad.  I hope for the best – that’s all you can do. And find a safe place to meet some one . I love all that you do .xoxo Patrisha”
 
 
 
 
Many of our respondents had the following sentiment:
“I love my wife of 31 years. I love to crossdress and feel girly. I have no desire to be with a man.”
 
 
I have seen quite a few comments that reflect the following:
“Never had a gay contact, might enjoy it if I was “forced” by my mistress.”
That’s very much about permission, and something into which we delve in the Premium Program.
 
 
One of my favorite comments was:
“I’m heterosexual but finding myself metamorphing into a more feminine persona every time I listen to your hypnosis, read your emails personally addressed to me and spend time fantisizing about cross dressing. Right this moment I’m finding myself feeling quite gay thinking about being taken by men.”
 
 
And another:
“I love it when I’m allowed to be the real me, Heather, because that’s who I really am. I enjoy being treated as a real women and this includes sexually. I’ve had several relationships over the years and have been used, but I had one partner who awoke the real Heather in me just with his touch. He was very special.”
 
 
The theme of sexual preference shifting when dressed was shown again in this comment:
“I’m always attracted to women AND when I\’m dressed, the opposite gender is especially enticing, and women and interesting in a whole different way.”
 
 
An interesting response was:
“Love being dominant with women and submissive with men.”
 
 
This was a common theme, too:
“I have crossdressed for most of my 50+ years. I love it, and have a difficult time in finding a genetic female to accept me for the well rounded person that I have become. If I have to choose, I will remain alone.”
With this in mind I’ll be doing a little more work shortly about how to find a female collaborator with which to enjoy your crossdressing. Should you know any women who’d like to chat about this to help men understand what they get from it, please email me at fdobson@zoho.com
 
 
Feel free to comment below if you’d like to add anything.
 
🙂
 
Fiona
 
– http://FionaDobson.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
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It’s Lipstick Time!

We’re not always going to have the time to get completely dressed. Here’s a great way to quickly enjoy the feminine side of yourself.

This self hypnosis recording will help you feel comfortable using a little lipstick to emphasize the sensual nature of your personality. Be sure you have some lipstick with you when you do this wonderful exercise.

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Your new feminine identity. Self Hypnosis.

When you join my Premium Program for crossdressers, one of the first things we do is assign a name for you, if you haven’t already chosen one. In this simple self hypnosis file we’ve created a powerful tool to help you accept your new name, and learn to identify with it.

Enjoy this relaxing exercise and let me know how you get along with it.

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Releasing Shame With Hypnosis.

Feeling a little guilty about crossdressing? Don’t worry, it’s perfectly natural to feel conflicted feelings about crossdressing. On the one hand you love to do it, at the same time you feel upset about it. This hypnosis file will help you feel more relaxed about it.

 

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Get ready to swallow!

Sebastian was almost gagging.

“That’s it,” I said. “Take it all in…”

“I can’t,” he stammered, resisting.

“You’re going to swallow, all of it,” I insisted. “Open wide.”

Let me explain, Sebastian has been suffering from a bit of a cold lately and is having trouble getting over it. I decided a nice Kale-Ginger smoothie would give him a little help.

Sebastian doesn’t like either kale or ginger. As he reluctantly gulped it down, I told him what a good boy he was.

“Shall I get you a towel?” I asked noticing a little of the creamy liquid on his chin.

As you know, I am very mindful of the health of my friends. However, that’s not the main reason I’m writing to you today. Today I wanted to draw your attention to something I found interesting and feel sure you’ll share my enthusiasm for.

When we dress, feminine or otherwise, we are saying a great deal about who we are. Our entire presentation to the world is reflected in our clothing. The way we offer ourselves to the world has a huge impact on how accepting the world is of us, as crossdressers or simply individuals. In the talk below Jen Rozenbaum explores some of these ideas, and talks about boudoir photography.

Some of her tips are very interesting, especially if you’re creating great CD pics either online or for My Little Black Book. One of her points is about how, as a photographer she finds ways to bring out the positive aspects of her subjects. There’s a lot to be said for the idea that whatever we choose to wear, we can bring out the very best side of ourselves by presenting ourselves in a positive and empowered way.

I would suggest we can take this a step further. For example, if you feel you’re a different person to the one you were three years ago, then why are you wearing the same clothes? Why are you not presenting yourself to your world (CD or otherwise) in a new more developed manner?

While I wouldn’t suggest we should trash all our clothes every year, there’s a lot to be said for the idea of giving serious consideration to the way we present ourselves as we grow and discover ourselves. Personally, I know I dress with more confidence today than when I first guiltily played with my cousin’s panties.

So, here’s a fun thing to do this weekend. Take a look at your wardrobe (femme or otherwise) and select a few things that no longer reflect who you are and toss them out. Refining your wardrobe is liberating and leaves space for some new expressions of who you are becoming.

😊

Fiona

Boudoir Photography and Being Shamelessly Feminine | Jen Rozenbaum |
Just imagine, a crossdressing ghost story for Halloween. Yes, it’s coming – in three parts. It will be published on http://FionaDobson.com on the evenings of 29, 30th, and 31st of October.

Halloween is a great time for crossdressers. The night when the dead walk the earth seems an odd thing to celebrate, but any excuse to get out in heels works for me! Enjoy the three part series and be sure to watch out for it at FionaDobson.Com.

Need costume supplies for Halloween? Try checking out my shopping list and looking at some of the great online deals there.

FD