Category: Rainbow

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I was thinking about going to the inauguration, but I have a hair appointment.

“That’s a nasty gash you’ve got there,” I said to Amanda, as she was bending over.

“Yes,” she said, turning from the flower bed she was weeding. “I caught my finger on that rose bush.”

“Perhaps you should come into the kitchen, I can put some ointment on it,” I replied. As you know, I am really quite compassionate, even with my wife’s dreadful friend, Amanda.

Amanda hesitated for a moment, her brows furrowing in consideration, but then she nodded and followed me into the house. The kitchen, with its warm, golden light filtering through the curtains, offered a comforting sanctuary from the sharp thorns and relentless sun outside.

I rummaged through the medicine cabinet and found the ointment, along with a clean bandage. Amanda sat down at the table, cradling her injured finger gingerly. I couldn’t help but notice the way her face softened in the light, revealing a vulnerability rarely seen behind her usual abrasive demeanor.

“Thank you,” she murmured, her voice uncharacteristically quiet.

“It’s no trouble,” I replied, carefully applying the ointment and wrapping the bandage around her finger. “You’ll need to be more careful around those rose bushes. They’re beautiful, but they can be quite treacherous.”

Amanda gave a small, rueful smile. “I suppose that’s true of many things.”

“It’s remarkable what modern medicine can achieve,” I said. “Take that rapist soon to take up residence in the Whitehouse. They cured his bone spurs magically shortly after Vietnam war conscription ended. And soon he’ll be the commander of American forces. Isn’t it wonderful?”

Amanda looked at me skeptically. I must admit, I was thinking about attending the inauguration.  When my invitation arrived in the mail I thought seriously about it, however I have a hair appointment that day. I rarely mention this, but I am also a little sensitive to odors and I had heard that Elon Musk was attending, so I should have opted out. Instead, I put my invitation on Craigslist, but no one has come forward for it.

Interestingly, Epiphany (Rainbow’s girlfriend) has managed to get herself a job in the new administration. She’ll even be working in the Whitehouse. For someone who I thought was basically unemployable I thought this a little surprising, however after seeing her credentials it turns out that if anything, she was over qualified.

Not to worry. By the way, as you may know I do have a support group running for any of my members who are concerned about the incoming rapist.  It’s a nice group and they are quite talkative. If you feel in need of a little support come along and join the free service. If you feel you’d like to contribute to this support group please feel free to jump in.

If you’d like to support my efforts here feel free to join my Patreon, for as little as a dollar a month. You can join here.

Join my Patreon

Have a lovely week,

Fiona.

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Anyone for a turkey enema?

A healthy diet is essential for a great crossdressing look.

As the new year rolls into action I have been working with Sebastian, my personal trainer, to tone and shape my body. He is a very helpful young man, I must say. 

I am determined that this year I will eat more healthily and reduce my carbon footprint in 2025. Perhaps a few less flights, and a few more vegetables are in order. Don’t you think it is important to enjoy a healthy amount of fresh fruit in your diet?

Last night it was a delightful surprise to be invited to a cocktail party held by a friend of Sebastian’s sister, Rainbow. While Rainbow is a certified carrot crunching yoga hippie, some of her yoga clients are quite unusual people. It was pleasant to be invited to one of their parties at a very exclusive address and I was interested to see how it would work out. After all, it can be exhausting having parties with Sylvester, Ali and Amanda, that often disintegrate into mayhem and occasionally someone being tied up and abandoned naked in a public park at 3 am. I suppose this is what you get for associating with people who need to have their back shaved periodically – and that’s just Amanda. How nice it would be to meet some people of quality.

By the time I had got dressed and ready I must say I really did look quite spectacular, if a little overdressed. Nonetheless, it’s nice to go over the top now and then.

Sebastian and I arrived and were shown into the ornate house and met by Carina (there’s always a Carina), Rainbow’s client. She swept up to us looking spectacular in her little black cocktail number.  She carried a tray loaded down with hors d’oeuvre.

Sebastian introduced us and our hostess beamed an expensive smile.

“Would you like a clam? Or perhaps a cocktail sausage?” she asked. “Oh, and which pronoun do you prefer, he, she or them?”

The tiny woman was almost vibrating with energy. I sensed she’d been doing a few too many yoga classes. She would likely benefit from a nice cleansing turkey enema.

I looked at Carina quizzically, trying to decide whether she was joking, and to see if her choice of hors d’oevre was somehow connected with the pronouns question. At that moment Rainbow appeared, and gave her brother a hug.

“Hey,” said Sebastian smiling at her. “You look
”

Sebastian was searching for words.

Carina chimed in cheerfully, “Earthy! That’s what I said! Rainbow you look so very ‘earthy’. I wish I was so brave,” she added.

Rainbow looked confused and replied, “Brave?”

“Yes, I mean I would never have been so brave as to make my own clothes. And wear them out,” said Carina. “Fiona, would you like a drink? I have a couple of special cocktails. Perhaps you’d like the carrot and Kale with a shot of vodka. Or maybe the Orange and langoustine gin. You should try them. I invented them myself.”

“Well, I am trying to eat and drink in a healthy way for the new year.  Perhaps the orange and langoustine gin.” I glanced around the room at the very fashionable set of guests. The ratio of chins to people was definitely on the low side. “And you’d better make it a double. But do me a favor and hold the orange.” I paused a moment and then said, “and the langoustines.”

Sebastian slipped off in search of a proper drink and headed toward what looked like a bar, followed by Carina.

As she hurried off, Rainbow turned to me looking confused and said, “Did she just say my clothes are worn out? I think I’ve been insulted, but I’m not sure.”

“Oh,” I said, “You’ve been insulted. But I wouldn’t worry about it. Let’s drink the silly cow’s gin and go and get some poutine at The Junction. They’ve got a show on at 10.”

Sebastian reappeared at that moment and said that Carina’s husband, Nigel (it had to be), had offered him the most disgusting cocktail he’d ever tasted.

“It’s one part gin, one part coca cola and a teaspoon of olive oil. He calls it an Exxon Valdez. I had it on the rocks, but it was so disgusting I spilled it into that aquarium.”

Across the room there was a very expensive looking aquarium that was looking a little the worse for having an Exxon Valdez poured into it.

Carina returned with our drinks and then went on to circulate with some of the many other guests.

“I think it’s time to bounce,” I said to Sebastian and Rainbow. Let’s go somewhere everyone knows our names.

I hope you’re getting the new year off to a wonderful start. If you’ve not already singed up to my Patreon please join me at https://www.patreon.com/fionadobsonCD

Fiona Dobson

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Oh no! Rainbow got served.

Hi,

Oh my goodness, the trials and tribulations of life! Poor Rainbow, she’s never had very good luck with therapists. One committing suicide might be considered bad luck, but two? I think it’s unheard of!

And this morning, just as she was getting ready to do a yoga class with me we were intercepted by a very sweaty young man who handed her an envelope and told her that she’d been served. Can you imagine? It seems her latest therapist has a better survival instinct than the others, and has served her a restraining order.

Poor Rainbow has been quite distraught since her girlfriend, Epiphany, went off on a cruise ship working as an entertainment director. She’s due back in port in a couple of weeks. I’m sure things will seem much better when she gets here. Thank goodness she has Sebastian and I to comfort her.

That, however, is not the main reason I am writing today. I just had to tell you that the latest episode of Clothes Maketh The Man has been released. You can find part 72 of Andrea’s ongoing story here – https://fionadobson.com/cmtm/clothes-maketh-the-man-part-72/

Enjoy the rest of your week,

Fiona.

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Keeping it simple.

I have always liked leotards. I’ve written a few pieces about the versatility of this piece of clothing, here’s one piece – https://fionadobson.com/continuing-corssdressing-adventures-leotards/ 

So many of us agonize over finding clothing that fits perfectly. It has to be said that the beauty of this type of garment is that it fits most body types well. I like something that covers my shoulders and steers the eye toward a bit of cleavage.

It’s typical of Sylvester that when I say I am going to slip into something simple, he assumes I mean Rainbow. He really can be quite coarse at times. I find it good to give him a pre-emptive slap around the head now and then.

“What was that for?” he says.

“It’s for what you’re going to think, if you’re not doing so already,” I tell him helpfully.

I do like to steer people in a good direction. So, here’s a handy tip. If you like wearing jeans, think about getting a simple leotard that you can slip into, and suddenly you’ve got a very femme outfit which is simple to put together and always looks attractive.

Here’s a link to a leotard that’s only around $22 and is a great asset to any trans wardrobe.

https://amzn.to/4bFPyFS

I like to wear this type of thing with a pair of high waisted jeans. If you add heels it’s super femme. This is what I’m wearing this weekend.

Be sure to join my Patreon Community chat, or perhaps you’ll find me chatting online on the website. And don’t forget, you can always use my ‘back door’ on Patreon for just $1 a month.

🙂

Fiona

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Rainbow is doing ‘group’!

As you may know, I had suggested therapy to Rainbow, which she took to mean she should train in it, rather than find a decent therapist. As her training has progressed she’s become really quite animated in the subject.

She came over to breakfast just the other day and asked my advice about some marketing she was doing. As one of Canada’s leading crossdressing advertising executives I felt compelled to help. She showed me a draft of some promotional material she was getting ready for a counselling group she’s running.

“I’ve decided to form a meet up group,” she said.

“That’s wonderful. I’m sure that will be most helpful. And who is the group for,” I asked.

“Oh, it’s a meet up group for people suffering from social anxiety,” she said.

I looked at her doubtfully. I was immediately put in mind of a campaign for the Eczema Awareness Foundation which one of the junior members of the accounts team at the advertising agency I work at, had suggested. He seemed keen on the idea of a scratch card promotion until I explained that this might not be the best way to promote Eczema awareness. Rainbow’s idea of a meet up group for people with social anxiety seemed likely to have the same likelihood of success.

“You don’t think a meet up group might be a little hard to encourage people with social anxiety to participate in?” I said innocently.

Rainbow then showed me several of the photographs she was using to promote the group. I should point out that Rainbow, a yoga teacher, has a stunning body. However, the photographs were bordering on pornographic, they were so very explicit. I felt quite awkward looking at them.

“The pictures are lovely, Rainbow,” I said kindly, “but do you think them entirely appropriate for this group?”

She replied quite swiftly that “Inner beauty is in the third eye of the beholder.”

It’s hard to argue with logic like that.

“I’m sure these pictures are perfect,” I said.

I realize that it’s never easy working with people with challenges such as social anxiety. It can be a very serious problem for may people. It’s a good job I am blessed with such a sensitive nature, which is of course so common amongst those of us who are transgender. Sadly, my friend Sylvester is not so gifted in this department. He had suggested that they should have an Egg and Spoon race in the Special Olympics, for people suffering from Parkinson’s Disease. Really. He is the limit at times. Obviously Sylvester does not share my kindly nature.

As we go into the summer I hope you’ve found some great clothes to wear and that you’re enjoying the content on my site.  Be sure to drop by, and if you’re not already on my Patrion by sure to look in on it. You can even use my ‘back door’ for just $1 a month!

🙂

Fiona

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Womens High-Waist & Scrunch Butt Lifting Sexy Yoga Shorts – $8.99

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A fun task now that spring is here.

I was trying to explain to Rainbow that she was mistaken about Australia having been annexed by Germany in 1938, when her brother Sebastian arrived to join me before breakfast for a yoga class. I do enjoy the early morning yoga classes. Having a personal trainer so committed to my body is something I feel great gratitude for.

Sebastian is a wonderful trainer. How can I best describe his teaching style? I suppose it’s best to call it ‘deeply penetrative’.

I poured a glass of orange juice for each of us, before we started the class. Now, you may remember that Rainbow is studying to be a therapist. When I had suggested to her that therapy might be a good option for her, I had meant participation, rather than training, but she had grasped the wrong end of the stick, and here we are.

“We’ve been learning about Freud,” she told me. “I’m fascinated by Australia.”

I was confused.

“You know,” she said. “Where the marsupials come from.”

Gradually I realised she’d confused Austria with Australia. I thought I should explain a little about European history and things went down hill from there. When she pointed out that Europeans were so much more cultured than those of us here in North America I took issue with her. That was the point that she started on about how Leonardo was so multitalented, with the whole painting, mathematics and engineering, and making all those films, too! Apparently she loved Titanic.

Rainbow has recently started dating Epiphany. While her heart may have swelled the same can’t be said for her intellect, I fear.

But that’s not the main reason I am writing. As spring rushes in and we prepare for summer I have a fun task for you. It’s thrift store time. Yes, it’s time to go out and scan the thrift stores for something fun to wear. But this time I’d like you to do it a little differently. I’d like you to try and buy something that is fairly androgynous. Feminine, but just safe enough for you to wear around without being obviously crossdressing. Yes, this is part of your gradual move to a more androgynous look. Pastel colors, a little feminine but not so very much that you feel uncomfortable around people you know. Push your boundaries, but not too far.

Have fun out there, and remember, ‘recycle, reuse and reduce’. You’ll be doing your bit to save the planet.

🙂

Fiona

PS. Enjoy the song below.  If you’re a member of my Behind The Scenes group you’ll know why this is a special one for me.

Bell Sleeve Blouse Summer Crewneck Lace Top – $28.99
High-quality – Women 3/4 Bell Sleeve oversize Blouse Adopts The Classic Slim Fitting T-Shirt Style In Solid Color; This Floral Textured Babydoll Shirts Is Lightweight, Breathable,The Tunic Tops Will Go Well With Most Body Shapes.
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I’ve laid the table, now what’s next?

I really do enjoy having a few friends over in the evening. So it was that I found myself, just the other day, hosting a small party with Sylvester, Auntie Kittie, Sebastian, Rainbow and her new friend, Epiphany. Just use those links if you’d like to explore a little more detail of each of these great friends.

I’d prepared a small variety of dishes. You know how it is when you are taking into account the various dietary needs of people, I’m sure. When I had asked Epiphany what sort of foods she enjoyed she had informed me that she ‘preferred not to feast on the flesh of murdered animals.’

Epiphany is a very slight girl. I am sure she’ll become Rainbow’s lover. She has very small hands.

As Sylvester was listening to Rainbow talking about a flasher who has been frightening people in a local park, I put out the tofu drizzled with a peanut satay sauce.

“He was about average height and had a big coat. And I think he was right handed,” said Rainbow who didn’t seem the slightest concerned that she’d been exposed to in such a manner, when out for her evening run.

“How exciting,” I said. “And with all this cold weather, too!”

Epiphany and Rainbow, both choosing not to eat meat, were extolling the virtues of a vegetarian diet.

“I have often thought I should become vegetarian,” I said. “Though I really do enjoy seafood.”

Sylvester decided to chime in and added, “Fiona does love a winkle in cider now and then.”

I told Sylvester to shut up, you know he really can be quite coarse at times.

At this point Auntie Kittie chimed in that she thought everybody loves a well prepared bird on the table, “and honestly, girls, who doesn’t love a good stuffing?”

I gave Sylvester a sharp kick under the table as I saw his mouth open, but before he could make some crude comment. He muttered something about everyone loving a good sausage.

It’s such a good thing I always prepare a variety delights for my guests. I served the various dishes but not before suggesting to my assembled guests that they should be sure to leave a little room for desert. What a surprise it was for them when, after I cleared away the main course Auntie emerged from the kitchen and whipped out her dumplings covered in cream!

But that’s not the main reason I’m writing to you today. I am trying to build up my Patreon following. It’s an up hill struggle, but the more members I can grow there, the more content I can release. Your support is greatly appreciated, especially in these tough times. In case you don’t know you can support me there by subscribing for as little as $5, or if you choose to become one of my Unicorn level members you can get one of my famous ‘You want me to use which bathroom’ mugs. Who could resist such an offering!

Have a lovely evening,

Fiona

PS. Enjoy the video with Annie Lennox, Hugh Laurie and John Malkovich below.

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I’m helping a client with his meat and two veg.

It seems like I spend half my time on texts these days. And then Sylvester will send something stupid like the text he’s just sent me.

Really, I’m running between meetings, trying to keep my hair nice, checking out the new boy in the post room (yes, we still have one) and helping one of the senior partners arrange his meat and two veg. Oh, I should explain Bernard is doing a shoot for a client who has a string of restaurants, and we have to photograph some of the food for the advertisement. I can’t’ tell you much about it as it’s not yet been released, but jeez, you should see the size of the client’s sausage.

And then I get a string of texts from Sylvester.

  • Sylvester: 
by the way Fiona, I want to tell you something.
  • Myself: ?
  • Sylvester: Did you hear about the explosion?
  • Myself: What?
  • Sylvester: Yes. I’ve been showered in letters.
  • Myself: What are you blabbering about?
  • Sylvester: Since the explosion at the Scrabble factory.
  • Myself: I suppose you think that’s funny.

Really, I have to put up with the most annoying things at times, and Sylvester is one of them. If he’s not moping around and looking doe eyed at Amanda, he’s out trying to teach Rainbow how to drive. He came in to the kitchen yesterday after taking her for a driving lesson. He was shaking so much I had to comment.

“Sylvester, if that’s not early onset Parkinson’s, I’d say you’re looking a little shaken up,” I said as I poured the tea.

He gave that thousand mile stare he sometimes has, and while clutching a traffic citation in his hand he said softly, “How can you break the speed limit doing a three point turn in a cul-de sac? How did she do that?”

“Goodness me,” I said, adjusting my tartan three quarter length skirt. “Just what is it you’re teaching her to do?”

“It’s for her driving test,” he replied sounding quite dazed. “’Nineth time lucky’ she said. Ninth time.”

“Oh yes,” I replied. “Ninth time is always a charm.”

But that’s not the main reason I am writing to you.

I thought I’d just remind you that this is Pride Month, and inspite of what a few Neanderthals would have you believe, in most of the civilized world Pride is being celebrated with joy.

If you’ve not done so already, take a moment to find an appropriate way to support Pride in your neighborhood.

Have a delightful weekend.

😊

Fiona

PS. If you’re on Mastodon, follow me here: https://mastodon.online/@FionaDobson

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Poor Rainbow! I can’t think what got into her last night.

Rainbow sat clutching her gentle brow at my kitchen table, pale and effete as ever. That girl could well be a vampire.

“No, Rainbow. I don’t think anyone rufied your kombucha,” I said.  â€œI think you drank half a bottle of gin on your own. And that’s what it does.”

“But, my head,” she moaned.

Sylvester shifted awkwardly. Like most men, the delivery of unearned sympathy is something he struggles with. Instead he sensibly kept his mouth shut.

“You need a nice cleanse,” I said as I fried an egg in a heavy iron frying pan. “A sauna, perhaps and then a seaweed wrap.”

“Sushi?” she said, turning a little green.

“No, a seaweed wrap, where they wrap your body into the healing energy of seaweed. It’s lovely. I had one with Sebastian last week at the spa.”

“You realise I am basically an unemployed student?” retorted Rainbow.

“Well, I’m just saying, with all that yoga and healthy living
” I adopted my most forgiving manner.

“Are you saying I can’t go out and drink till I can’t feel my face from time to time?” she replied.

Rainbow seemed to be a little tense, as well as being in the midst of a severe hangover.

“Where on earth were you?” asked Sylvester.

“Some of the girls from the yoga studio and I went out to celebrate at Trannie Annies,” replied Rainbow.

“They don’t let me in that place anymore,” grumbled Sylvester.

“Shut up, Sylvester,” I said. “May I ask what you were celebrating last night, Rainbow. And, I mean, darling
 was it really worth it?” I asked in an attempt to mollify her.

There was a long sigh, and then as I handed a high electrolyte orange drink to Rainbow she shared her latest news.

“and then 
 Yadayadayada, so now I realise I’m poly,” she concluded.

I stared at her.

I pride myself in being a crossdresser of taste and style, even if I do hang around with coarse oafs like Sylvester from time to time, but this was shocking news to me.

“Really,” I said stifling my bewildered emotions. “You’re into polyester?”

I couldn’t sanction such perversion.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Sylvester. “It means she’s got a thing for parrots.”

“You two are the limit,” said the poor suffering girl as I placed a perfectly fried egg on wholegrain toast before her.

“Really, Rainbow, darling, I can prepare a nice cleanse for you. An elixir of dandelion root, sage, kayle and Labrador tea leaves. I think of it as a very healthy cleanse.”

Sylvester piped up, “Sort of an ‘ethnic cleanse’. You’ll feel like an entirely new person. I always say “When you feel like the bottoms fallen out of your world, Fiona can make a cleanse that will make the world fall out of…”

“Sylvester, belt up!” I interjected.

Sylvester really can be quite coarse you know. I sometimes wonder why I let him in. Still he does like to come and join me for breakfast after driving the Zamboni to prepare the ice for our hockey players for their early morning practice.

Now, I’m sure you know this, but if you want to drill down and learn more about some of my people you’ll see that the first mention of them is generally highlighted and a hot link. Through the wonders of technology, if you click on that you’ll get a list of all the stories in which they feature. So you can drill down on any of the people and get more of their story. After 7 years of writing you’ll find the well is indeed quite deep. It can keep you uselessly employed for hours!

Have a wonderful day.

🙂

Fiona

PS. I recently rebuilt my Patreon presence. They’d kicked me off before but have let me back now on the condition that I keep my panties pulled up. If you’re enjoying these messages be sure to join me at any level on Patreon to build up my presence there. I include some fun content there. I am always grateful to my members. xxx

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