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I am surrounded by idiots.
I sat in my garden this afternoon, socially distanced from my two expectant looking guests seated nearby, beside the gentle shape of a bouganvillia, off-setting the colours of the smokey pink and soft grey of my summer dress. Sylvester and Rainbow, Sebastian’s sister, looked on hopefully.
“So, let me get this straight,” I said. “You’re asking me – and Sylvester I think I am quoting you correctly – which is better:
A: Sylvester’s idea, a facial scrub which is made by simply driving along behind a gravel truck while sticking your head out of the car window.”
At this point Sylvester was nodding and grinning like a chimpanzee that has just found the key to a kitchen cupboard full of banannas.
I continued, “Or B: Rainbow’s idea, a facial scrub made of vanilla extract, cream, vegetable oil, oatmeal and aloe, which is then smoothed on the skin and allowed to dry, before driving along behind a gravel truck while sticking your head out of the car window.”
Rainbow smiled at me vacantly and nodded.
Sometimes, I feel like I am surrounded by idiots. It may seem a harsh thing to say, but it’s true. I considered the question for a moment.
“Obviously,” I said at length, “the answer is ‘B’.”
Sylvester looked crestfallen. Before he could ask why I continued.
“The answer is ‘B’ because you could charge more for it and therefore make more profit. This might mean that in time you could afford to hire the team of psychiatrists that would provide the help that you both so obviously need.”
In these trying times of Covid-19 and failing businesses I am finding many of my friends are searching for new business ideas and as such my marketing expertise is in great demand. Perhaps you, too are surrounded by similar challenges. If you are, you have my sympathy. Such is the lot of those of us who serve.
Be sure to join my Patreon if you’d like to lend a hand to myself and the sadly challenged people with which I surround myself.
Have lovely weekend, and stay safe.
Fiona.
Become a Patron!BREAKING: Vaccine Found! Trump to announce cure.
Trump to announce vaccine has been found for bisexuality.
“We believe there’s only a few cases, maybe 15. Soon they’ll magically disappear. Our non science based approach gets a thumbs up from the electorate. And our thumbs really are way up!”
Speaking from the Rose Garden Trump talked casually with reporters after the announcement.
“You know I am a stable genius,” he added. “I don’t get why everyone thinks this administration is a laughing stock. Bleach anyone?”
The Grin And Bare It Nudist Colony.
I was relaxing in my garden this afternoon when I got a distraught call from Rainbow, Sebastian’s sister, asking to come round immediately. Of course, I said yes, always supportive of my friends. Besides, Sylvester had just left, having got my asphalt. He’s doing some work resurfacing the driveway.
“You’d better drop by, now I’ve got my asphalt,” I said down the phone.
Rainbow has just got back from a few days at what she calls a ‘retreat’. She does this once in a while, escaping to the Grin And Bare It Nudist Colony on a nearby island, in the southern Gulf Islands in British Columbia. It’s a rather strange sort of escape, involving naturists engaged in yoga and improv comedy. I suspect there’s a certain number of them that also become engaged in open sea swimming in an attempt to escape, or at least they would be if I found myself confined on an island in such circumstances.
One of the regulars at this particular location is a man who has turned to unusual street performance for his living. Rainbow, who sometimes teaches yoga on the island, has been encouraging this gentleman, assuring him that street performance could be a great way to gain a small income for the rest of his life.
Continue reading “The Grin And Bare It Nudist Colony.”We’ve got great new content in my Premium Program.
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Sign up for the fun way to get the most out of crossdressing and exploring your feminine side. Whether you’re interested in occasionally enjoying crossdressing, or you’re on your journey to complete transition, this is a wonderful way to explore the crossdressing and understand it like you never thought you could.
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Sylvester gets a poke from behind.
When Sylvester suggested I paint breasts on the back of my life jacket, thereby giving him something interesting to look at as he paddled, I refrained from the desire to beat him in the head with the paddle in my hands. We’ve taken to getting out and about in the nearby locality, as the lockdown here in Vancouver eases.
Being locked down I think I’ve done every gardening job on my to do list, with Ali, and Sylvester has been helping with a few odd jobs about the house. Just yesterday afternoon we were cleaning up an old chest of draws that had been neglected. Some candles had burned down and damaged the surface. We’re taking the finish back to the wood. I’ve been stripping while Sylvester scrapes the varnish and wax off.
As we get a little more freedom I’ve started looking for interesting things to do outdoors as we continue a slightly eased lockdown. Getting out to kayak, or to sail (as long as we maintain distance) is ok. One activity we’ve found that works very well is sea kayaking. There are a couple of things worthy of pointing out about this activity. First of all, you can crossdress, wear a wig and anything else you want, once you’re out on the water no one is going to be able to either do or say anything about it. Another great advantage to be gained from this activity is the wonderful work out it gives you.
Continue reading “Sylvester gets a poke from behind.”Auntie Kittie’s Diary – 2020-06-13
I have always felt that the more time my nephews spend dressed in lovely girls clothes the more they behave in a polite, soft and gentle manner. Isn’t that a nice thing to know? Of course it is.
Well, recently one of my nephews has had a visitor, young Donald, a really quite vulgar boy. He seems to think it ok to push others around and one of my nieces recently came to see me about him. Annette told me he had been peeking in her bedroom when she was changing, which I found a most distasteful thing to do. He’s also been picking on some of the other children in the neighbourhood.He also refuses to wear a mask, which I find extremely disrespectful. I am sure you’d agree, this is really not the way a young boy should behave.
“If he’s unwilling to behave like a nice boy,” I said to Annette, “then we can’t treat him like a nice boy.”
I thought about the situation for a moment or two, while offering Annette a small serving of frozen yoghurt.
Continue reading “Auntie Kittie’s Diary – 2020-06-13”Jen’s Guide To Cuckolding.
Jen is a hardworking librarian at the local library. She’s a popular lady in the community and likes to get out and about. However, her weekends are a whole other story.
Little Donald has been telling porkies!
http://fionadobson.com/rulet-chat-bg-alternative/ writes: –
My goodness, I do have to put up with some nonsense from some of the children in the neighbourhood. One doesn’t like to have favorites, but I can’t help but thank heavens my nephews and nieces are rather better behaved than some of the other neighbourhood children.
Several of the local children like to play in my garden. I’ve started having Ali, Fiona’s gardener – you may have heard of him – pop by and take care of my flowers. He rigged up a nice swing from an apple tree and some of the youngsters like to come over and play on the swing. Generally they are sweet, laughing and giggling away there. I love the sound of happy children. Of course, there’s sometimes one obnoxious little trouble maker in the group, but one hopes the positive influence of my neighborhood kids will have a beneficial effect. Little Angela, Jacinder and Boris are all playing nicely. It’s not easy for the little ones while we have this virus to contend with.
Continue reading “Little Donald has been telling porkies!”Even when you’re on your own, I’m right here with you.
Hi there,
I hope you’re enjoying the weekend as we move further into this strange period. Today I am writing to remind you of some of the great content you’re able to read on my Patreon. There’s a good deal of material hear, both written, video and audio.
I have been told this is the blog you’ll love, even if you’ve never tried on your sisters panties. There’s a wealth of crossdressing advice, ideas and stories. There’s humor and there’s horror. There’s even hypnosis. We’ve got it all. Be sure to come on in and explore.
Many of you have enjoyed Clothes Maketh The Man. This is an ongoing story, and I am currently working on Part 44. Here’s a link to the Clothes Maketh The Man posts.
One of the most recent additions to my Patreon is Poison! Another serial, part 9 will be out shortly. Can you imagine, a woman slowly altering the genetic code of her suitor. Well, things turn out rather differently to what you may imagine.
Mistress Meg and Katia Thornwood generally write for our Seahorse Patreons, with their forceful approach to encouraging their guests to embrace all aspects of feminization. As Mistress Meg has pointed out, “few dare protest, for fear of what might be pushed into their easily silenced mouth.”
Mistress Meg is also the keeper of Stories You Mother Never Told You, a disturbingly erotic series of pieces drawn from a set of dusty notebooks secured from a client. These will be of special appeal to all my Seahorse members.
Auntie Kittie, an unbelievable force of nature in her own right, continues to work Max hard, having him put her Diary entries up.
“He’s such a good boy,” she said as she dropped off her notes this morning. I have visitors sit outside my kitchen window as I am indoors. Sitting on my deck she looked really quite pleased with herself. I think she’s got something very questionable going on with young Max.
I am also excited to say my delightful friend Molly Blake in England is hard at it. She is working on a very exciting little project for you. That will be at the $1, Good Gurl level.
Of course, my Premium Program and Whatsapp Group is still a great success for my Unicorn members. While these can be bought separately, they are all included in the Unicorn level. And for the more cost conscious I am always happy to add new members to My Little Black Book – still a very popular way to connect with other CDs and Admirers.
As ever, and particularly at the moment, I want you to remember I am here for you. I spend a lot of time online and should you have any questions I am always pleased to answer them, even if it takes a few days for me to get to them.
I love to see your comments on the posts I put up. Be sure to continue to communicate – and don’t forget, you’re not alone. We’re getting through this together.
Fiona
Crossdressing in isolation can be fun, even when life’s a drag.
I know that many of my members are frustrated at being locked down, and as the days go by it can seem like there’s no end in sight. I recently listened to a BBC report from a US reporter locked down in Wuhan, who described the experience as being a psychological process not unlike the stages of grief.
There are various descriptions of this around the net, but the most common appears to suggest the following are stages of grief:
Denial – Sylvester: “This isn’t necessary!” Me: “Tell that to the people without health insurance.”
Anger – Amanda: “I’ll be buggered if I’m wearing a mask.” Me: “Please wear a mask.”
Bargaining – Sebastian: “If I socially isolate today, maybe we’ll get past this sooner.” Me: “Let’s do it.”
Depression – Auntie Kittie: “Let’s hit the wine reserves.” Me: “Yours or mine?”
Acceptance – Ali: “The garden looks nice today.” Me: “The garden looks lovely.”
I thought this a very interesting way of thinking about this. We’re just going to have to get used to this. There’s no arguing with it, and as much as some orange haired buffoon might try to push people back to work early, the health of those I love are more important to me than his profits. So, I would like to share a few things to help you get through this difficult time. These are merely the opinions of a crossdressing advertising executive, and I don’t expect the world to whole heartedly agree with me. However, you may find some of these suggestions to be of interest.
Continue reading “Crossdressing in isolation can be fun, even when life’s a drag.”Happy Easter and it’s time for some Easter Give Aways.
“That Amanda‘s a fat cow!” said young Max as he talked to me through my kitchen window, maintaining social distancing.
At the time I was pulling on a pale pink sports bra. He glanced at me now and then, unable to avert his blue eyed gaze, the filthy little pervert.
“Max,” I said calmly, “Just because she’s in a lesbian relationship with your mother, there’s no need to be calling her fat. Besides, she’s the editor of Pig and Pig Farmer Weekly, and your boss. That means you should accord her some respect.”
He looked a little crestfallen and then said, “Alright. She’s a morbidly obese cow, then.”
“That’s better. She’s a very dear friend of your mother’s. Besides, if as you say your mother is going to do this whole isolation thing at her place, it will leave you more time to work on my site.”
“What about my dinner?”
“Max! Don’t be so 1983! You should know better than that!” At 22 years old that boy should know better.
Perhaps I should explain. For some months now Marjorie, Max‘s mother, has been wrist deep in a lesbian love affair with my wife’s childhood friend Amanda. This has taken some emotional toll on poor Max, who is struggling to accept the new relationship.
How odd, don’t you think, that Max who quite lecherously watches me doing yoga with Sebastian (my lovely personal trainer and the man who put the ‘dog’ in downward dog) should have such awkwardness around his mother and Amanda having a relationship. I would agree that Amanda, the queen of tweed, having a relationship with anyone seems challenging, but love finds a way in the most challenging of situations. Ultimately we fall in love with people, don’t you think, rather than someone’s gender?
It reminds me of something I tell many of my members. Judging others is a privilege we sacrifice the moment we put on panties with a partner. Equally, no one has a right to judge us.
It’s not lost on me that the very people that would like to judge us so harshly are often the ones that would delight in fucking our brains out first. But that aside, I do always suggest my lovely members release judgement of others. There’s a great piece of writing on my site about this called The English Country Garden, by Julius Braddock. I recently made that free as it’s such a very influential piece for so many people. You may wish to give it a go.
Blair has to take a pill a day – and what harm could that do, really? He’s about to find out.
But that is not the main reason I’m writing to you. I wanted you to know that if you sign up for my Patreon now you will be able to participate in some of the give always I’ll be doing this weekend.
I am so excited to be welcoming so many new members to my Patreon. I am very grateful for the lift I’ve experienced these last couple of weeks, although I acknowledge this is because many people are stuck at home. I’d like to make that confinement easier for you, and these wonderful upgrades give you plenty to do while stuck at home.
To encourage more new Patrons I am offering a very special incentive. Anyone signing up for my $1 a month program will be able to join in some great promotions I’ll be doing this Easter Weekend.
I will be giving away some free Premium Program Memberships (worth $10 a month), as well as some free memberships to my Whatsapp Group (worth $10 a month). To participate you will need to join the $1 monthly Good Gurl tier, so be sure to join that right away.
The premium program is something my members use to refine their knowledge of the non-binary world and crossdressing, and the Whatsapp Group is a wonderful group of friends participating in chats and a supportive community. They’re great bonuses.
These promotions will only be open this weekend (Friday – Easter Monday evening) and only to people who are members of my Patreon. Join now and you’ll be eligible for those upgrades as I offer them over the weekend.
This will of course give you access to Poison! which is being very well received. I know you’ll love it.
Happy Easter,
Fiona Dobson
Poison! It’s just one pill a day. What harm can that do?
Poison! It’s just one pill a day. What harm can that do?
Enjoy Poison! The first episode is free, and then you’ll need to join my $1 a month Patreon level. Give it a try for a month, and perhaps you’ll see how addictive Poison! really is.
Jerry enjoys a challenge. It’s said that a woman can’t change a man and should never try to do so. Well, it really depends how much pharmacy one throws at the problem.
In her work at the pharmaceutical company Jerry is perfectly positioned to experiment with that idea. Join her and watch as Blair experiences some new perspectives.
Along the way Jerry is going to have some fun with Blair’s dear, but interfering sister.
Find Poison! here:
Be sure to comment and look out for future episodes. You can always find all episodes of Poison! here.
🙂
Fiona
I’ve been getting it up a lot lately! Auntie Kittie.
Clothes Maketh The Man – part 42 is out!
Poor Andy, just when he thinks things are going to get better fate takes a dump on his head, again. It’s the crossdressing story you’re going to love, even if you’ve never tried on your sisters panties.
I can hardly believe I have been writing this for 4 years. Over 85,000 members have enjoyed the free version of Clothes Maketh The Man. You can enjoy the full ongoing serial for just $1 a month by following me on Patreon, and then you get extras like Auntie Kitties Diary and Poison! Not to mention my regular posts.
Help me out by signing up today and pushing my membership on Patreon a notch higher.
Read the first 24 episodes of Clothes Maketh The Man Free –
You can read them here: https://www.patreon.com/fionadobson/posts?filters[tag]=clothes%20maketh%20the%20man&sort=published_at
The first episode is available here – https://www.patreon.com/posts/clothes-maketh-1-24395960
😊
Fiona