Bernard is full of the joys of spring at this time of year. He’s doing all sorts of maintenance on his little boat, cleaning his fishing gear until it’s spotlessly clean, and also polishing up his weapon. He’s a very keen outdoor sportsman.
We’ve had many good times in the past when we’ve travelled together for the advertising agency, although there’s been no travel happening for a while. As I see him stripping his gun I am reminded of a lovely trip we had in the highlands of Scotland some years ago. We’d been invited to shoot grouse on the moors. The beauty of the landscape in that fresh northern light is quite breathtaking. Northern Scotland must be one of the most evocative places on earth, with it’s wild wind swept landscape, lightly brushed with heather.
We’d walked for miles over the moor and seen ptarmigan and quail at a distance, but it looked like Bernard was going to come back empty handed. I was simply enjoying a lovely day out in the fresh air, and then Bernard got terribly excited, and the next thing I knew he shot a load over my head. It was quite exhilarating. Perhaps you can imagine.
At work I have been surprised by the emergence of a number of committee’s within the advertising agency. We have one for racial awareness, one for staff empowerment and of course one for gender issues, and others being formed all the time. The job of these task forces is to make sure staff are aware of issues and to maintain a high standard of awareness of contentious issues, for both our clients and our staff. I must say, I think it’s high time awareness of some of these issues was brought to the fore. It’s a pleasure to see several new faces on these committees, and I’ve been asked to sit on several of them already.
Sebastian was in my kitchen this morning drinking a freshly squeezed orange juice as I stretched in preparation for our yoga class. I must say I do love the yoga wear. Nice leggings and a sports bra are a wonderful look for any gurl.
“I am getting a few more clients,” said Sebastian. “I think people want to get in shape for the summer.”
“Well, now that we’re getting past this damned virus,” I replied, “I’m sure more people are focusing on their health. It’s a precious gift and needs to be nurtured.”
“Speaking of nurturing,” said Sebastian, “I’ve started a self help group for people who do self-harm.”
“Sebastian, that’s so thoughtful of you. What on earth made you think of such a thing?”
“Well, Rainbow struggled with it,” He told me. “So, I figured I’d create a support group. I have to say it’s a hard slog though. Like banging your head against a brick wall.”
“How very public spirited of you,” I replied.
I have included a post on my website about Sebastian’s suggestions for yoga wear for my members. He’s been very helpful and put some great ideas up there. You can find it HERE.
Don’t forget, you can join my Patreon for as little as $1 a month HERE. It’s the most fun dollar you’ll spend this month, I guarantee it!
Have a lovely week, and be sure to let me know how you’re getting along.
I have a dear friend who is lesbian. She grew up in a conservative place where being ‘different’ would earn you a good kicking from kids of her age, and likely from some adults too. She did however have a supportive mother and she found her way.
I have another friend who ran away from their home when it became obvious that she was trans. I say, ‘it became obvious’ because their body was so obviously feminine, though through a convention of biology and naming she was assigned male gender at birth. She’s as feminine as any woman I know but for a minor anatomical quirk.
And of course I know a host of people who as they understood themselves better realised there was an enormous part of themselves that they had suppressed, doing their best to conform to societal norms and denying much of their nature. The fear of being outcasts is a powerful thing, even in the 21st century.
My lesbian friend has phrased it very well. She says, “We don’t raise our own young.” It’s not far fetched to say that the archetypal emo teen that flees an abusive home, misunderstood by their family and hometown, who ends up on the street in a big city – often homeless and friendless – is far from a meaningless trope. It’s practically a template for how some of us have rejected and been rejected by society. It all sounds painfully tragic.
But wait… As my friend points out, eventually – with a little luck – those ‘outsiders’ gravitate to others, and by some miracle find people who are like themselves. It can look a little odd to others, but somehow they find their people, or what we used to call ‘our tribe’. Whether it’s the ‘gaybourhood’ or friends within the ‘queerspace’, there are ways to connect with others. We find our way. And we grow.
As we do so we learn to support others like ourselves in whatever way we can. And suddenly there is something akin to family. Perhaps we don’t raise our own young, but they do find us and we can nurture them everyday in ways both direct and indirect.
Today we lost one of our own. Sophie was an amazing artist. A creative soul any family should treasure, even one so diverse and dispersed as our own. Let’s take a moment today to appreciate our sister.
Sophie died at 4 a.m. local time on 30 January 2021 at home in Athens, Greece.] According to their UK label, Transgressive, Sophie’s death was caused by slipping and falling while climbing to watch the full moon.
As the New Year kicks into gear I am pleased to see Ali getting to grips with my garden. As you know, Ali is my Syrian gardener, and a recent immigrant to Canada. He is a diligent worker and has thrown himself into the task of managing my garden.
A university professor of botany in his home country, he has come to build a new life here in our country, along with his lovely wife and two delightful daughters. Here in Canada we welcome new friends from around the world, and embrace the chance to add to the deep culture of this diverse and remarkable country.
“We don’t have an equivalent of your ‘Santa Claus’,” he recently explained while we were working at preparing the greenhouse for this years plants. “Besides, anything flying over our airspace at low altitude stands a good chance of being shot down. And… well, reindeer meat… I think he’s well advised to respect the no-fly zone.”
“Be that as it may, Ali,” I said. “I’m most concerned about Amanda and Marjory. All through the Christmas season I barely saw them. I know it’s been harder this Christmas with the whole Covid thing, but you’d think she’d say hello over the garden fence.
“Fiona, they’ve been very busy. Amanda’s been there all week. And you know what they’re like,” replied Ali.
I don’t think Ali really approves of the nature of Amanda’s relationship with Marjory. Same sex partnerships are not exactly common place in Syria, on account of people not wanting to be stoned to death in the public square.
“All the noise and fuss they make,” said Ali. “It’s very disruptive.”
“Don’t worry,” I assured him. “You’ll get used to it. Besides, it must be nice to be in love.”
“They were making an Italian dish yesterday with the left over turkey,” he mused, while cleaning one of the planting beds in the greenhouse.
“That sounds lovely. One of the things I enjoy about Christmas is getting creative with all those meals using turkey in the days that follow. I had turkey curry yesterday, myself.”
“If I over heard it correctly, Amanda got her finger stuck in the pasta maker. It was quite disturbing,” said Ali.
“Oh,” I said surprised. “I thought Marjory made the pasta.”
“Yes,” replied Ali. “She does.”
But that’s not the main reason I am writing to you today, as we go into what I think we are all hoping is a more hopeful year than last. I understand many of us are finding it harder to dress during the lockdowns that we must inevitably endure. I also realise that this increases the stress for all of us, and I want to make a suggestion that I find has helped many of my members.
While it would be wonderful to be able to dress everyday, all day, many of my members are simply unable to do this. When it is impossible to dress, for whatever reason, there’s still the middle ground, of becoming more androgynous. This is a way to start shifting what you wear to something somewhat more feminine, though without being entirely crossdressed. If you get creative you’ll find ways to do this, and enjoy that middle ground in the gender spectrum.
It could be as simple as shifting the colors you wear. Pastel colors and moving away from hard contrast color patterns is somewhat more feminine and gentle. Equally, going for the lambswool sweater and softer fabrics is always more enjoyable.
For others it will be engaging a more feminine clothing style, without crossing the line. Nice jeans can bring out the shape of your legs, and if all you need to do is add heels to shift over the line, then you’re always just moments from being able to crossdress. Sometimes the only difference between dressing straight or crossdressed is the presence of eye makeup.
Let’s make 2021 a wonderful year. Don’t let Covid get you down. This is where we learn patience – a good lesson for anyone who is trans. If you’re struggling and haven’t done so already, remember my Whatsapp Group is a great way to connect with others and see yourself through this challenging time. Alternatively, remember there’s a host of entertaining stories right here. Be sure to enjoy the video below.
I have an affinity to beautiful birds. I like that the males have such extravagant plumage. And yet there is more that draws me to them.
Consider this. The cage, for most of us a symbol of constrained freedom, for birds is something more. I have opened the door of a cage and watched as they escape and find freedom. Can you imagine that moment, a loved pet fleeing to freedom through the opened cage door. A moment of panic, and then they are gone through an open window. All that fondness and happy memories gone in a flutter of wings.
And two hours later, as I look at the cage, there he is once more. Silently returning to his captivity. A warm sensation of relief in my tummy. Yet, it’s more than relief. It’s a sense of rewarded trust, for I left that door open quite willingly.
I trusted. And aren’t all good relationships based on trust?
Well, this is a story of trust. I think you will enjoy it. Perhaps so much so that you will play along with me. I will ask you to make this an interactive story.
That’s right, you can join in. I wonder if you dare. Well, there’s the opportunity for me to trust you… Let’s see how you do. Are you ready to play? I hope you’ll feel inclined to use the comments section in this post to let me know.
Mistress Katia Thornwood.
The Lovers – By Katia Thornwood.
Those of you who have been following me for a while know about Paulo, the sentimental poet, who got a little too lost in the compelling world of his Mistress. I am, as you know, all about balancing extremes, and so you can imagine my delight when the sorry little fellow finally got himself a girlfriend – Fern. An actual woman.
And it wasn’t his usual thing. Worshiping some completely unattainable woman from afar, and languishing in his own pathetically amusing pain. Such a typical poet. It’s a pity he has so much of the poet’s nature and so little of the poet’s talent. Not to worry though, his role is to suffer. Regardless, Fern is a real flesh and blood woman.
Many years ago… well, three years ago, I started writing the Fiona Dobson newsletters and blog. In the early ones I would embed a Youtube video now and then, that often touched in to the themes of the newsletters. That’s how the Fiona Dobson Playlist came in to being.
I add to it from time to time, even though I rarely include them in the mailings these days. Even so, it’s a fun addition and one I’m not likely to drop anytime soon. So, if you need a little lift, have some fun with this. I hope you enjoy it.
Advice from a crossdressing Account Executive for the
company Christmas Party.
I am always pleased to help out my members and keep them on
the right track. With this in mind the following list of thoughts has been
compiled from the experiences and suggestions of some of my valued members.
It is no longer acceptable to sit on the photocopier during the Christmas Party photocopying your bum and handing out prints saying it’s another memo from the accounts department.
When sitting on the photocopier (see #1) do not make the mistake of scanning your bottom and posting it to the company Instagram Account.
Taking a co-worker to the Christmas Party does not count as a first date.
Don’t sleep with the head of Human Resources on the first date (see #3).
Line ups at the STD Clinic are generally shorter during the holiday period.
When asked what you were thinking (See #4), replying “Everyone else has,” is not considered a good reason.
It’s no fun being on antibiotics through the Christmas period.
If you have Christmas Party suggestions please make a point
of sharing them below.
I am so pleased to thank all my lovely Patreon members for their recent kind wishes to Stacey, who has been unwell with Covid. She is now recovering and will be back on her feet soon. In the meantime I can tell you some exciting news.
Katia Thornwood has a new series about to be released for all my members. Now, as you probably know Katia generally writes just for our treasured Seahorse members – those naughty boys and gurls who so desperately need a little extra discipline. However, in line with the Christmas season, she’s asked me to put this new series out to all my Patreon members. Her generosity knows no bounds (particularly when I am paying her wages).
Those of you who know Katia will realise she is quite a strict disciplinarian. She longs for the days of the past when the kindly local policeman, that everybody on the street knows, would give a recalcitrant teenager a clip round the ear as they were hauled off to the gallows. Now, of course, she applies a more impacting version of discipline all of her own. Her new series is called The Lovers and will enthrall all who read it.
What few people know is that Katia is also very keen on her tropical birds. She loves parrots and conures, and has been know to stroke a large cockatoo from time to time as well. Anyway, I know you’ll enjoy the upcoming series, The Lovers. If you’re not already a member just join my Patreon for December at just $1 for the month to enjoy this great collection. What better way is there to make Christmas special? I can’t think of one! http://patreon.com/fionadobson
I will be spending a little more time online this month, so if you’d like to check in with me just go to the site and you might find me there chatting through the site chat system. I love to connect with my gurls.
I am pleased to say that all the content here – in the Premium Program and in my Patreon – is designed to appeal to my friends of all adult ages.
A very significant portion of my membership are in their senior years. For many of us, it’s only then that we really know ourselves well enough to accept the feminine within us. I love my senior members.
By the way – don’t forget the great Fiona Dobson playlist for an immediate pick me up! Get to it HERE.
As we progress through our Covid winter I know many of my members are going to feel constrained by the challenges of being either locked down, or at the very least restricted in our movements. These are precisely the challenges that we should rise to as we move through the dark months.
It’s quite normal, when unable to dress as we desire, to feel a little down. I’d like to make a few suggestions that may assist those of you unable to indulge your usual dressing practice as much as you’d like. It is important to remember that being non-binary, or crossdressing generally, takes place largely between the ears, and not the legs. How you think, and finding that more sensitive side of your nature, is a very important goal.
You’ll find many of the free hypnosis files available here to be of great help. Keeping your mind in the right place, and training yourself to accept it, is a great step forward on your journey – and one that will provide comfort during those moments when there is no possibility of dressing.
The most helpful thing you can do during this time is to develop a routine during the day. When you get up and have your morning wash and shave, waiting a few minutes and then using a little moisturizer is sure to give your skin a nicer texture and will start the day in a positive way. Give yourself a few minutes after shaving, as you don’t want the pores of your skin to be too open when you use the moisturizer.
If you have the habit of taking a daily walk during the lockdown, you may wish to try an exercise. Imagine walking in a feminine manner and slowing your pace a little. Taking slightly shorter steps and allowing a more feminine motion, as subtly as you reasonably can, is a satisfying and enjoyable process. Observing how a woman moves, and giving yourself that same, more fluid gait is both satisfying and reinforces the gradual changes that you will start to enjoy as you progress along this path.
Using a small amount of eye make up, probably imperceptible to others, is a good habit to form. It’s quite normal to feel others will notice it, but rarely do others notice a subtly applied amount of discrete eye shadow. Using it will make you feel more feminine and satisfy that basic urge we all enjoy as we groom ourselves a little.
Planning, selecting a few interesting outfits and combinations of clothes, and doing a little online research into ordering, can be a useful pastime in preparation for more enjoyable times ahead. One way or another, after all, spring is coming.
These are simple steps. You’ll find many more in the Premium Program, should you wish to move more overtly ahead. Most of all you should remember that crossdressing is about being yourself – your true self – rather than the person society has pressured you into being. Doing so, with or without being able to crossdress, will help you feel more comfortable and better prepare you for the months ahead. And don’t forget, there’s a host of stories here to keep you entertained, either free or within the Patreon platform.
What a very stressful few days it’s been. Just today I had one of the neighbourhood boys over while my delightful niece, Nancy and I arranged some flowers in my house. I do find it so relaxing to put out a few nice flower arrangements.
The children in Huckleberry Close seem to gravitate to my house, and the large garden I’m lucky enough to have. Fiona’s delightful gardener, Ali, has been helping me and cutting some beautiful blooms for me to arrange in the house. The unfortunate challenge of being so available to the neighbourhood children is that from time to time the rather revolting neighbour, Donald comes and plays in my garden. I try to be kind and even handed, but it’s really not always easy. I think all the children think of me as their personal Auntie.
It’s hardly surprising really. They love to come over and are sure to sample my pie, or anything else I put out on the kitchen table. I like to provide a nice spread. Some of the young boys just can’t get enough of it. I should be flattered I suppose, that they have such hearty appetites.
“Auntie,” said young Donald this very afternoon. “What’s an erection?”
“Donald, that’s a very unusual question. Now, let me see. Your mother should really talk to you about this, but when a man and a woman… No, when two people… No, when a small group of people of undetermined genders or something between genders…”
“Auntie,” said little Nancy jumping in and coming to my rescue between placing holly sprigs in vases I’d put out on the table. “I think Donald means, ’What’s an election?’”
“Oh, I see,” I said with relief. “Really? You don’t know what that is? Ok, let’s see. How can I explain? It’s something we do now and then to get rid of people who aren’t running the country the way we like it. For example, by locking up all the little children. Or making promises they don’t keep, or are generally doing things that are douchy and not representative of our values.”
“What are values, Auntie Kittie?” asked Donald.
“Don’t worry, Donald,” I replied. “I’ll let you know if you ever get any. We usually elect people based on policies, Donald. So, for example in Canada we believe in religious freedoms, freedom of thought and belief, and freedom of expression. You believe in freedom of speech, don’t you, Donald?”
“Well, I guess,” agreed Donald reluctantly.
“Well shut up then,” I said firmly.
“Tell him about the polls, Auntie,” piped up Nancy, always keen to be of help.
“I don’t trust the Poles,” said Young Donald.
“Don’t be so racist,” I said and cuffed him around the ear, before sending him off to the bathroom. “Be a sensible boy and be sure to wash your little hands after.”
Donald has a lot to learn in the hygiene department.
Nancy turned to me and said, “I’m not sure Donald quite understands about democracy.”
“Oh,” I said gently. “I’m sure he’ll learn. And then probably be thrown in a cell where he belongs, before dying alone in disgrace. Under the circumstances I think that’s not a bad outcome.”
“What do you mean, Auntie?” asked Nancy.
“Well, five hundred years ago we would have stoned him to death, in the time honored fashion. Under the circumstances, if I were Donald I would consider myself lucky.”
Don’t worry, it’ll soon be over. Let’s just stay calm, and choose an extra special pair of panties with which to celebrate as the tide of change flushes out the U-bend of the last four years.
I do so love this time of year, with so many of my nephews and nieces going back to school. And St. Bernadette’s is as busy as ever, mercifully being spared so many of the challenges of Covid. It’s so exciting to see some of the new gurls arriving.