I am back from Mexico. If you want more details, I have three words for you; âBehind The Scenesâ. Yes, you can learn the details if youâre a member of my âBehind the Scenesâ tier on Patreon.
So, with my freshly tanned shoulders wrapped up and standing beneath an umbrella held by Sylvester in one of his ham sized paws, you find me standing beside something thatâs appeared in my back garden.
âYour Christmas present, and itâs beautiful,â he replied. âItâs a sundial. My people have been using sundials to tell the time for 3000 years.â
âThose of us who come from the middle east,â replied Ali. âPersians, Syrians. Us lot.â
I sometimes feel that Aliâs skills are wasted. He used to be a botany professor at Damascus University. And now he tends my garden. He seems happy though. Talking to Sylvester is a little like petting a monkey, for Ali.
âThank you, Ali,â I said. âThatâs a very kind thought.â
I looked skyward and I could see Ali was reading my mind. Iâve just got back from a land of apparently endless sunshine, but the sky over Vancouver between the months of October to April resembles nothing so much as being inside Tupperware.
âI donât think Iâm getting rid of the kitchen clock, at least not before spring,â I said. âBut it is beautiful. Youâre very kind.â
âThree thousand years, youâve been using these?â said Sylvester.
âWe should probably ask Amanda how it works,â I said. âShe probably remembers the product launch party.â
At this Sylvester gave me a sour look.
Ali looked at the cloud covered sky and then examined the numbers around itâs base, and then said âI think it was 2.30, in SeptemberâŠâ
Iâm sure that when the sun comes out it will be a lovely centre piece to the East garden. Ali is so thoughtful. And Iâm not one to look a gift camel in the mouth.
đ
Fiona
We now offer remote counseling and hypnotherapy for people struggling with gender issues. Learn more HERE.
I awoke this morning to a terrific banging. Now, I know what youâre thinking, but it wasnât like that at all.
I pulled on a lovely apricot silk gown, and fluffy slippers, and hurried down to the front door, where I was confronted by Sylvester and Sebastian chatting away, framed by snow in the doorway.
âI had a huge curry, last night,â said Sylvester, âand I woke up to find weâd had a terrific dump!â
âGood morning, Sylvester,â I said as the two of them stood on my snowy doorstep. âI assume youâre talking about this heavy snowfall.â
âItâs about 9 inches and I couldnât get up the drive at all.â
âCan we use your rear entrance, Fiona?â said Sebastian. If I had a nickel for everytimeâŠ
âWhy donât you boys slip around the back of the house. Aliâs very kindly cleared the lane. You should be able to park there without difficulty,â I said.
And with that the two boys disappeared and left me to put on the hot chocolate, and warm some croissants. My friends are joining me for breakfast today as weâre working on some new ideas for the premium program. If youâre a member of this wonderful program youâll know how much fun we have with it. If youâre not, then think about jumping in!
Imagine, itâs 12 inches long and youâre right on top of it!
Hi,
âWhatâs that,â I asked Max, my personal trainer.
âMy Christmas list, Fiona.â
âAh,â I replied. âI thought it might be something like that, I replied, a little disappointed. It seems a little while since I got on top of anything except for my email inbox.
And speaking of my inbox, I have received a number of emails regarding last weeksâ message about Maxâs new girlfriend and her comment about being able to âwang her own pickle jar.â
In reply to Michelle, in Tennessee, I am not sure itâs possible to do that with a racoon, but suspect that your animal welfare department may have something to say about it.
Vivian, in San Antonio, I think what you suggested is keenly encouraged by some religions, and is probably all right between consenting adults, but ultimately down to the individual church-goer.
I think Maxâs Christmas list involves a large number of gifts, most of which will have his new girlfriend staring at the ceiling of this studio apartment until February.
And as we get ready for the holiday season, thereâs a couple of things to remember. Obviously the first thing is to think about getting yourself a little present to encourage yourself. In the video below (which will probably be pulled by Youtube very soon) you may find some ideas. Itâs the great Canadian singer, Bryan Adams. I am not entirely sure this is what he had in mind when he wrote this song, but it works rather well, donât you think?
The second thing to remember is that you can give yourself the gift of confidence and connection by investing in my Premium Program or Little Black Book, if youâre not already a member. If you are, then get out on the Little Black Book and send some Christmas greetings to the Gurls all around the world, who would love to hear from you.
I’ve just posted a very personal story about my Christmas to my special tier called “Behind the scenes with Fiona”, on Patreon. This is a special tier for those wanting my most personal thoughts and insights.
Itâs the night before Christmas eve here in Huckleberry Close, and I have had the most extraordinary text message from Bernard. As you may know, Bernardâs health has not been good recently. Between being tazered and shot in the chest with a carrot, heâs had quite a year.
With this in mind he traveled to England for Christmas, where he has some family, and checked himself into a rather eccentric sounding health farm near something called âNewmarketâ. Heâs being treated at âThe Devilâs Dyke Centre for Alternative Health.â This immediately had me thinking of a friend of mine who recently divorced her lesbian wife. As you might have guessed the divorce is not going well.
Bernardâs text read: âHope all is well. Love to the crew. Just waiting for the nurse to give me my evening massage.  😉 â
Now, I donât mean to be pedantic, but that smiley winkey face at the conclusion of the message did give me pause for thought. At the time Sylvester, Ali and I were enjoying a few glasses of eggnog while I modeled a new gown I recently treated myself to, and Ali showed us a traditional arab jalabiyyah. Needless to say, Sylvester wore his Carhartt pants, and frankly I think Ali and I looked considerably more presentable than our swarthy friend.
Amanda had joined us, âpopping inâ as she does, not unlike a visit from the plague. We all sat around the log fire in my living room and enjoyed the winter evening.
Making conversation, Sylvester said, âI see Bernardâs started using emojiâs. I donât think heâs quite got the hang of it yet.â
âI couldnât agree more,â I said, showing them both the recent text. âI mean, really. What is one to make of that?â
The eggnog was fortified with substantial amounts of brandy, which neutralizes the sweetness a little, though does not reduce the calories, to Amandaâs disappointment. Iâve been making this recipe for years, and it was given to me by my grandmother.
Ali passed on the eggnog, but Amanda drank it deeply. I could tell sheâd had more than is wise from her slightly slurred speech.
âWhere on earth do you get this,â asked Amanda looking at her glass. âItâs so smooth!â
âOh,â I replied modestly, âitâs just something I knocked up.â
âRather like your first wife,â I heard her mutter under her breath.
Just then Sylvester got to his feet to refill his glass, nudged the table and Amandaâs glass toppled into her lap covering her with eggnog. She yelped like a⊠Well, like a startled pig, and got to her feet.
âOh, Iâm so sorry,â Sylvester gushed.
âDonât worry, Amanda. Iâll find you something.â I said and trotted off upstairs to get her a skirt. Perhaps I could find a discarded garden tent upstairs. No, thatâs a little unkind, I suppose. I looked among the clothes, and returned with something suitable.
I handed the skirt to Amanda and she disappeared to change, leaving us all enjoying the warmth of the fire.
I turned to find Sylvester texting Bernard. âJust covered Amandaâs pants with eggnog. 😊â
A text came back from Bernard a moment later â âCanât chat, going in for colonic irrigation! 😉â
“Wow,” said Sylvester. “They really know how to have fun in England.”
With that Sylvester disappeared upstairs to the bathroom, leaving Ali and I to talk about how he and his family were enjoying their second Christmas in Canada. He told me how well his daughter had settled in at school, and how his wife had managed to find a good job in the bank. It wasnât until ten minutes or so had passed that I realized both Sylvester and Amanda were still absent.
I glanced at the carriage clock on the mantelpiece.
âHow very odd,â I said to Ali. âI wonder what could have happened to Sylvester?â
Ali turned his eyes toward the heavens, or one of the bedrooms upstairs, depending on your point of view. He had an ominous look on his face as our eyes met.
“Just how much brandy is in that stuff,” asked Ali.
“Enough.” I said. Sylvester is Italian.
I hope you are enjoying the run up to Christmas. We will be here through the holiday looking after all our friends and members. Iâm thrilled to say weâve been getting a lot of new members in to My Little Black Book. If by chance you are alone this Christmas itâs a great idea to get into My Little Black Book and message some of our other members. Theyâre all keen to hear from others and make new connections, and we all love to connect, however distant, at this time of year.
Many times it has been said that Sylvester is the living proof that homo sapiens interbred with their Neanderthal cousins. One can’t look into that low forehead, that heavy brow, or those dark eyes without wondering if you should give him a bannana.
Indeed, if his brooding look of general confusion – not an uncommon sight – leaves one thinking there’s not much going on inside that head, it is his gait that seals the deal. In fact, the way we walk says so much about us. I’m including Lisa’s video for that reason. She really is very good.
It is fair to say Sylvester’s chosen style of walking is more of a lurch than a stride. It has been said that he moves with all the grace of a horse falling out of a tree.
He really is the limit at times. I took him as a ‘plus one’ to a work function last week, and can only describe it as a disaster. I am usually more careful about who I take to work functions.
I should also say that there are thankfully many fewer work events that involve game playing, alcohol and a senior partner of the advertising company I work for playfully bouncing me on his knee at 11.30 pm. It was however to one such event that I found myself invited to and attending earlier this week.
Now, I’ve never much liked the game Charades. This is the one where you are given the name of a film, a book or a play, and you have to mime the title to the other players until one guesses what it is. I was paired up with Sylvester, which was just as well, all things considered. We play in teams of two because some of the younger staff need things explained to them. Like what a book is.
I revealed to Sylvester what we had to mime, a he immediately burst into a display I can only describe as being distasteful. The gyrating hips, the thrusting motions, and that zombie like gait. It shocked not only me, but also most of the senior staff. I think the head of HR, Brenda, is still quite damaged by the incident.
I won’t go into the details. Needless to say being unfamiliar with the book, Sylvester thought I said ‘Angela’s Rashes’ instead of ‘Angela’s Ashes’. An easy mistake to make, i suppose. It was most disturbing.
By the way I am migrating from Twitter. The place has become just too toxic. My Twitter will go dark soon. I can be found now at Mastadon here – @FionaDobson@mastodon.online
Love it or hate it, we all use social media to some degree. It also triggers many of us with anxiety and pushes our buttons. Ever on the lookout for my gurls I am including this for those who need a little help.
I know not everyone is going to be into this, so I will bury it behind a “Read more…” in a moment. However, if you’re looking for a happier social media place than the dry rotting carcass of Twitter, I would encourage you to use Mastodon. It’s easier than you think.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. What can you buy the fascist pig in your life this year for Christmas?
Just the other day one of my members reached out to me and asked, “Fiona, what am I to do? I have to go back home to see the family for Christmas and it’s going to be horrible. I’m dreading it!”
I assured them that I do understand. As you know, I am very empathetic. It did make me wonder what a suitable gift for the aging Karen in your life may be.
“I have the perfect gift for you,” I replied. “Just buy them this delightful year planner. Buy the time they start using it you’ll be long gone, and as they’re entering their weekly klan meetings in it you can feel safe in the knowlege that they probably will be in blissful ignorance of the meaning of the color scheme, and some of the unusual holidays mentioned within it. You can use the link below to get it.
On a more serious note, I do realise this is not the easiest time of year for many of our members. My Elite Whatsapp Group can be very supportive, as well as joining my Premium Program, breathing some sanity into the holiday season, if for some unfathomable reason you’re not already a member. I will also be online frequently in the coming days. Drop in to Http://FionaDobson.com and I will try be as supportive as possible. Just look for the chat window that comes up if I am online.
Iâve never been afraid of hard physical labor. I like to work out in the gym, and of course I have always done yoga. Working up a bit of sweat and feeling it run between my breasts as I work on an elliptical is not something I am unfamiliar with.
Working in the stables was no hardship. 30 and I made a good team, and she had a little radio we could listen to as we worked. The morning flew by. And by the time we broke for lunch I felt quite a glow from the exertion.
Itâs been an exciting week for the residents of Huckleberry Close. My friend and mechanic Sylvester has been hosting his brother an unemployed cheesemonger from Uvalde in Texas. Diego is a volunteer police officer, which is like a real police officer but not quite.
âDiego,â I said, after serving an enormous breakfast, âdo they give you a gun?â
âOh, no. Weâre not allowed to carry guns. Volunteer peace officers donât get to do that. But we can operate the siren in the police car,â he told me.
âI expect thatâs something,â I said.
âAnd we get this waist coat thing,â he said. âIâll show you,â and then went out to his car and brought in a piece of equipment that looked very military with pouches and belt straps.
As luck would have it Sylvester and Diego had to hurry off shortly after this and it was only later that I saw the utility vest lying on my couch. On a whim I tried it on, and at that very moment I got a call from Rainbow, who as you know has become a full time student training to be a counselor. She was in a panic about having to get to an interview and her moped had broken down.
âOh, Fiona! You have to help me!â she said.
Now, as you know I am a very sympathetic person. Indeed I have been told that in a crisis I am the voice of calm.
âDonât worry, dear,â I said, sitting down on the sofa and tucking my legs beneath me, expecting this to be one of those conversations that go on much longer than they need to.
âBut Iâm such a mess! Iâve ripped my blouse and I have to get to this interview. And my hair! Itâs a sight.â
âDarling,â I said. âI shall bring you a calming cup of komboucha, and sort out everything.â
With that I skipped upstairs, found a brush and some hair spray, and a little sewing kit. Realising I was still wearing the utility vest with the word âPOLICEâ on the back, I thrust the can of hair spray into one of the webbing pouches, did the same with the sewing kit, and slid my large Remington hair dryer into the holster and walked out to the car. Minutes later I drew up behind Rainbow, where she was pulled over on the hard shoulder of the hiway. I put the hazzard lights on just to be sure my vehicle was safe, and stepped out of the car.
Being a bright winters day I was, of course, wearing my aviator sun glasses.
âRainbow, dear. Donât you worry,â I said as I walked up to her dejected form. I could see sheâd torn the sleeve on her blouse. What a sight she was. Her hair was all out of place, and she was clearly a victim of âhelmet hairâ.
âOh, thank goodness youâre here,â she said.
âLetâs get you sorted out.â I said, âJust lean up against the car so I can sew that sleeve up nicely.â
Naturally I knew Iâd not have the right angle to sew her sleeve if I did it in the car.
âThatâs it, dear,â I said. âJust put your hands on the bonnet, so it hangs nicely.â
As she leaned against the vehicle I swiftly ran a few stitches along the ripped seem and moments later youâd never know it had parted. I then drew out the Remington and started blow drying her hair from behind.
That was when the police car pulled up behind me.
I suppose I should be grateful that here in Canada everyone knows everyone. It was David, our local police officer. You may remember I mentioned Jeff (https://fionadobson.com/lets-try-to-be-accepting-of-others/) to you, who looks after border control here. Well, David is his brother. Unfortunately he didnât finish grade ten, and so never got into border control. Needless to say David took in the scene in an instant.
âThatâs never going to work,â he said and got a better hair dryer from his holster. In a jiffy he had Rainbow in the back of his cruiser and drove her to the job interview, lights on and everything. We are so fortunate with our police here.
So, as you can see itâs never dull here. Now, this month I’ve been getting my Patreon running again, following the Twitter debacle. Yes, I got kicked, and yes 90,000 followers went down the river. I have been finding it so horribly toxic this last few years that I am not unhappy to be off it. However it has denied me a platform, so I am replacing it by returning to Patreon. Additionally I’ve added a special level there called ‘Behind the scenes with Fiona’ for those wanting to be a little more intimate with me.
I’ve also stepped into Mastadon, which I would say is very different from Twitter. It’s quite nice, but one has to get past the idea of building huge follower numbers. It’s more to do with engagement, and more importantly quality engagement. I can be found here – https://mastodon.online/@FionaDobson, if you’re getting into Mastodon.
As I was washing some vegetables this morning after my weekly shop at the organic vegetable store my phone rang, and who should it be but Sebastian, my personal trainer.
âSebastian,â I said answering the call. âHow lovely to hear from you. Iâm just washing my organic ethically sourced zuchinis.â
This seemed to stop him in his tracks, but he quickly recovered himself.
âFiona,â he said, clearly agitated, âwhat on earth have you been saying to Rainbow?”
You’ll remember that Rainbow is Sebastian’s flakey kombucha drinking yoga teacher sister.
âI chatted with her just yesterday,â I said. âWe had a lovely conversation on that thing Max installed on my phone. Snatchchat, I think itâs called.â
âBut what did you say to her,â he persisted.
âOh, we talked about all sorts of things,â I replied. âThat Mr. Willow down the road. He got caught cheating on his wife with her twin sister. Funny story actually.â
Before I could go on Sebastian cut in, âDid you give her some career advice?â
âOh, I wouldnât give her career advice,â I said. âNot after the incident at the vets place.â –
Sebastian, sounded quite exasperated.
âWhat on earthâs the matter?â I asked.
Sounding very puzzled, he replied, âI just donât understand it. Sheâs going on about you telling her that she should be a therapist.â
âWhat, Rainbow?â I replied, almost swallowing my tongue in surprise.
âYeah, thatâs what I thought.â
Suddenly a thought came to my mind. It came with the crushing inevitability of a garbage truck backing purposefully over a childâs unseen tricycle left out in the lane.
âOh, wait,â I said. âI seem to remember saying to her that she should âseeâ a therapist. Yes, that was it. Somewhere after the second bottle of Cab Sauvignon. Did you know her last therapist took his own life? Terrible!â
âOh God,â said Sebastian. âShe thinks you said she should âbeâ a therapist. And now sheâs all excited about getting trained.â
âIt would be an unusual choice for a person like Rainbow,â I said. âVery unusual.â
Lenni, a cis female member of our Whatsapp Group posted this to the group and it came to my attention. It’s a beautiful short movie, poignant especially at this time. Please watch and share.
At a time when youth need all the support they can find, this hits the target beautifully. Our Whatsapp group is here to support all comers. Lenni and her wife have been LGBTQ activist for the last 25 years. It’s hardly suprising that such a supportive message should emanate from her.
This week I am highlighting a few articles on the site which you may find of interest. As you know I try to present a spectrum of content which is entertaining, informative and supportive. My intention is that whenever you swing by the site thereâs something of interest for you. Doing my weekly email in this format may help you jump directly to what you find of interest.
If you come to the site you may find I am online and able to chat. I donât keep set hours for this, so just drop by and see if Iâm around. I do love to talk with my members, and I try to make myself available to guide you toward content that may be of special interest, or just to answer your general questions. I should also say that the new Patreon presence is beginning to really kick in. For the coming week I am offering anyone who joins any of the Patreon levels free membership of our Elite Whatsapp Group (worth $10 a month) just to get that going a little more swiftly.
So, without further ado, hereâs the round up of this weeks content. Enjoy it, and if you feel generous join as a Good Gurl to enable me to keep producing fun and informative articles for you.
I do not really consider myself laboratory material, however, I have to say that as I observe the changes in my body I cannot help but reflect on them.
In an unusual look at how trans people are handled by the British medical system we see one persons experience. This serious account of how the medical profession wrestles with gender issues tracks the course of one person struggling to manage their transgender journey.
Thereâs ties when we feel the world is out of control. However, we can go some way to controlling our own body. Enjoy a gentle yoga session, which builds you hypnosis skills. Hypnosis requires you to calm your mind, and this helps considerably. Destress, and relax with this very feminine yoga session.
As Twitter continues to implode we see the rise of Mastodon. If youâre interested in using this great platform I have a few suggestions to get you started.
The Crossdresserâs Guide To Marital Bliss is a series of episodes taking a hilarious look at how one crossdresser brought his wife to a place of understanding and acceptance. Itâs also instructive and full of good advice to those of us who wish to introduce our dressing to the principal relationship in our life. I hope you enjoy it. Get Part 1 here. Fiona.
Sitting in the garden, just by where Ali had completed a rather unusual example of topiary depicting Cleopatraâs Needle and two of the Elgin Marbles, not to scale, I poured my wife a glass of wine.
âDarling,â I said. âhave you ever had a boyfriend who liked to crossdress?â
âWell, I really donât know,â she replied nonchalantly. âWhat they get up to in their spare time is a mystery to me.â
The British healthcare system and it’s strategic inefficiency for trans people. You can support Philosophy Tube here – https://www.patreon.com/PhilosophyTube
When the system in your country simply doesn’t work, sometimes we have to look outside of our own system for solutions. Please be aware that you do need to do your own due diligence in checking these thing out – and I categorically do not make any recommendations on the surgeons listed below. They are simply a starting point for people who are interested in stepping outside their own healthcare system for answers.
Since I had Sylvester do some work on my electrical wiring I have been having trouble with my fuses. Periodically I find myself bathed in darkness as the electricity goes out. Iâve had several electricians come to check the system, and another is coming to check the fuses shortly. Currently I blow three or four a week under the stairs. Frankly, Iâve had about as much as I can swallow. I think I should just replace the entire wiring system.
That, however is not the main reason I am writing today. I thought I’d include a little tip for all those crossdressers who are yet to master their make up, and let’s be honest, there’s a few!
Generally a girl starts playing with make up when they’re nine or ten years old. These are often forrays into mum’s handbag or make up draw and at first they are disastrous. However, particularly after playing with friends, they gradually improve. As they get older their makeup often becomes bolder and they learn various subtleties in their choices of color and their techniques.
Many crossdressers struggle, and get upset with themselves for not getting great results from the very start of their makeup use. This can be disheartening. I understand, and you should be aware that it doesn’t have to be that way. Be patient and practice.
While I don’t generally give specific make up tips – there’s many others out there who do amazing makeup tutorials on Youtube – I will offer this. If you choose subtle colors, using minimal amounts, you can gradually incorporate a few colors into your everyday regime without putting yourself into a position where you’re exposing yourself unnecessarily. A subtle amount of eye makeup to sharpen your look is a great way to feel feminine and to gradually improve your makeup skills.
The palette above is a good example of what you may want to start using. Nothing too garish, unless you are really ready to go full Ru Paul on the world. If you’re just starting out, applying a nice blend of shades now and then will be satisfying and even if you’re not completely ‘out’, can really help you enjoy your look.
After using make up for years I can firmly attest that less is generally more. Don’t be afraid to go for ‘subtle’. It will build up your confidence and if you can integrate it into your daily life. Then as you do gain proficiency you will find that experimenting with a greater range of tones is easy.
The other tip I’d add for anyone using eyeshadows for the first time is to be sure you have a selection of brushes. Applying the shades with a nice brush gives you even coverage and makes merging one color with another much easier. Using a little foundation on the eyelid will provide a smooth start point, though sometimes when you just need to grab and go, it’s not entirely necessary.
Enjoy the video tutorial below, but be sure to explore the Amazon link below for color palettes that might work well for you. In the end be sure to remember that practice makes perfect.
Don’t forget, you can join my Elite Whatsapp Group to enjoy chatting with new friends about your adventures with makeup. Check out the Elite Whatsapp Group here.
I often chat to members about what they enjoy most on my site. Overwhelmingly the favorite part of the site is Clothes Maketh The Man, followed by the hypnosis content which can be accessed free, or more extensively as part of the Seahorse and Premium programs.
Now and then someone will ask how to improve their hypnosis skills. I realise it’s not easy to clear one’s mind and prepare oneself for hypnosis. It really is a skill, and like most skills it does require a little practice. One thing that genuinely seems to help people of all ages is to do a little bit of Yin Yoga to calm the mind a little.
If you’ve never done this before I’d like you to try this special exercise. Skeptical? I understand, but give this a try anyway and then once you’ve done it try one of the hypnosis sessions such as this one.
It’s important to do hypnosis in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Many people do it when they are ready to fall asleep for the night. Either way, try it, practice it, and you will learn to love it.
Itâs going to be a very long weekend. Before I get into the âwhyâ let me first wish you the happiest of Thanksgiving weekends, if you are in the US, and if not, you know my thoughts are with you anyway.
I would also ask you to share this as widely as you dare, as I am trying to build followers. I appreciate your help. Let me adjust my skirt and tell you what this is all about. Being a crossdressing advertising executive does give me something of a unique perspective on things.
Now, the weekend. It all started when I overheard Joe, at the advertising agency, saying very intensely into his phone, âwhen it comes to feminine hygiene products, Iâm your man!â
Photo credit: Germany’s national football team cover their mouths in protest against FIFA’s ban on the ‘One Love’ LGBTQ+ armband during the World Cup in Qatar | Alexander Hassenstein/Getty Images
I’ve just posted on my Patreon tier called ‘Behind the scenes with Fiona’. In the wake of yet another shooting in the US it can seem hard to find the joy. Join my tier for my most intimate thoughts.
Sylvester is watching me post this. He’s reading back that last paragraph and sniggering. He really can be quite coarse, you know.
