I was relaxing in my garden this afternoon when I got a distraught call from Rainbow, Sebastian’s sister, asking to come round immediately. Of course, I said yes, always supportive of my friends. Besides, Sylvester had just left, having got my asphalt. He’s doing some work resurfacing the driveway.
“You’d better drop by, now I’ve got my asphalt,” I said down the phone.
Rainbow has just got back from a few days at what she calls a ‘retreat’. She does this once in a while, escaping to the Grin And Bare It Nudist Colony on a nearby island, in the southern Gulf Islands in British Columbia. It’s a rather strange sort of escape, involving naturists engaged in yoga and improv comedy. I suspect there’s a certain number of them that also become engaged in open sea swimming in an attempt to escape, or at least they would be if I found myself confined on an island in such circumstances.
One of the regulars at this particular location is a man who has turned to unusual street performance for his living. Rainbow, who sometimes teaches yoga on the island, has been encouraging this gentleman, assuring him that street performance could be a great way to gain a small income for the rest of his life.
Apparently, there was a talent show held at the retreat this time, which included Rainbow’s friend whose skill was to recite poetry, while hitting himself on the head with a wooden mallet. Unfortunately he had an aneurysm and died, simultaneously ending both his life and his career, proving Rainbow correct. While I find it both moving and admirable that someone with such obvious mental health challenges should find such an imaginative way to express his art, when he tragically fell from the unicycle on which he was performing, it soon became clear that the retreat was going to be ending early. I suppose in the end we are all responsible for our health and should make intelligent and informed decisions accordingly.
As she told me of the grisly events we sat in my garden, the lilac scenting the evening air. Poor Rainbow looked visibly shaken.
“Rainbow,” I said sympathetically, “it must have been terrible. I think you need a stiff drink, my dear.”
I slipped inside the house for a moment and returned with a Mimosa in a champaign glass for Rainbow.
“I suppose it just goes to show how important diet really is,” mused Rainbow absently as she sipped her drink.
“I’m sorry?” I replied, thinking I’d missed something.
“Oh, The Great Majesto ate terribly. Far too much red meat. I suppose he paid the price.”
I glanced nervously at Rainbow. Sometimes I feel she’s not all there. Fortunately her good friend Epiphany is staying over with her for a few days to see she’s alright.
Finally, in reply to Mildred from Colorado Springs, no, it’s never a good idea to store superglue and Vaseline in the same draw, and we do understand how such an accident can happen. All of us here wish you a speedy recovery.