The recent viral internet discussion about ‘Would you rather meet a bear in a forest or a man?’ has sparked a lot of comment. I don’t really follow these things very closely, but I did notice one discussion where the influencers concerned twisted it a little by adding ‘would you rather be stuck in the woods with a transwoman or a bear’.
I am not so silly as to think this is a serious discussion, and the channel involved is a very low volume one. However, the comments were both transphobic and made light of a rather more serious question.
The temptation is to think which is more dangerous, man or bear. However the real question one should ask is, ‘are we doing enough to make women feel safe around men?’
Those of us who are trans should be extremely aware of the levels of fear among women generally, and in many instances around us. We’re generally not aware of this, and haven’t been for much of our life. Regardless of why this is the case, or of whether or not ‘all men’ are dangerous, our role is to be sensitive to the needs of those around us, and in so doing be more accepted by society generally. We should go into this with little expectation, but still be sensitive to others. That just comes with this particular territory.
My friend Rainbow puts it rather well. She says she knows not all men are violent or abusers. However some are. It’s like being offered some M and M’s. There may be a few hundred in the bowl, and you know only five or six are poisoned. Now, would you like an M and M?
Most of us are unaware of the level of fear women live with every day. Perhaps we should give that a little thought before we interact with others. We need to be more sensitive, and more understanding. Fortunately these are qualities I see in many of my members.
Fiona.