Sylvester’s giant pain in the …

Sylvester’s giant erection.

“It took three of use, heaving and panting and sweating to get my erection up,” said Sylvester, my mechanic, sitting at my kitchen table and sipping tea from my finest bone china. Like many of my best friends he just appears in my kitchen sometimes. Like a big sweaty mechanic genie.

“I’m sure it did,” I said sympathetically. “Now, just tell me again, this ‘erection’, what is that again?”

“It’s the new sign outside my store. Really beautiful, big and shiny. People can see it for miles.”

“I don’t doubt it, “ I said, my imagination reelling.

tumblr_o1u5glMNzN1thnk1uo1_1280“That’s when I did it.”

“You did?” I said, surprised. “Ion the parking lot?”

“My back! It’s bloody agony!” He clutched his lower lumbar region and winced.

“Poor Sylvester!” I was at my most sympathetic. When an enormous erection goes all wrong I know how difficult things can be. It can get out of hand very swiftly.

“So, I wondered, maybe you could…”

“Sylvester, I am telling you for the very last time! What goes on between you, your boys and your big shiny erection really is your business and I really don’t want to come between you!”

“No! I’m trying to ask, do you know a good chiropractor to help with my back?”

It so happens that I am quite well connected in that department. As I told Sylvester, I happen to know Dicky Longstaff personally.

“Dicky who?” said Sylvester.

“Longstaff. He does all the big names. They say he’s behind some of the biggest boys in TV and film too. Often, I’m told. He has many celebrity clients.”

“Longstaff, you say. That sounds familiar.”

“You’ve probably heard his radio adverts. You know the one! “I’m Dicky, and I’ve got your back!”

Sylvester looked mildly relieved and I told him I would get on the phone as soon as I’d finished this email.

So, the reason I am emailing you is to say that at last the Fiona Dobson website is finally alive. My neighbour’s son Max has been beavering away – his words not mine – in his bedroom, emerging only for food, and finally he’s got it up. Go and see it at http://FionaDobson.com as admire his work!

He’s up there day and night laboring away at his computer. Such a diligent boy. At least I think that’s what he’s doing up there.

If you’re thinking of joining the Premium Program, let me know. Now is a good time, as you will also get free membership of my Little Black Book, at least until the end of June, when I’ll be offering that as a separate $24.95 subscription. So, Carpe Diem, as I always tell Max. Though to be quite honest I’m not sure that’s what he’s been seizing!

Fiona.

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