I do believe Sylvester may have been dropped on his head as a child. He really can be a little slow at times. However, as he returned to the table and joined Marjory and myself, we continued our chat about crossdressing and wives.
âWell, personally, I love to see a man dressed up in womenâs clothing,â said Marjory.
I should point out that Marjory doesnât really know how to take me. She is not quite sure how to manage the âIâm a lesbian, youâre a man, but you look like a womanâ thing. I once asked her if she found men dressed in womenâs clothing attractive. Her response was that they are less repulsive than men generally, but that a pig in a dress is still a pig in a dress.
I didnât really know how to deal with this. To put it in a nutshell, Marjory resents men generally and I canât really blame her. However, she gets along quite well with me now. I think she accepts that thereâs a lot to be said for the idea that gender is non binary. She sees thereâs a lot of middle ground. And this really is fair enough considering that as far as I am concerned Amanda, her girlfriend and my wifeâs best friend, barely passes as female.
As Rose would gladly testify from beyond her Hampstead grave, there are many women who find crossdressing not only acceptable, but also an exciting turn on. Seeing a man put a cute pair of panties on, fasten a bra, and then slide into a sweater and jeans, all the time knowing that this is a statement of adoration for the female form is something many women appreciate as a deeply personal display of trust from their partner.
Itâs rather like saying, âLook, here I am. I willingly shed the trappings of masculinity, and adopt the more constrained and gentle appearance and values associated with the feminine side of myself. More than that, I am trusting you with this. I am laying myself bare before you as few men can have the courage to do. I am doing this in adoration of you and that part of myself that society has forced me to stifle.
I had just disconnected from a Zoom meeting with a client who was looking at rebranding his chain of laundries when Ali, my Syrian gardener, arrived for his English lesson. I have been concerned about his use of English and offered to help him as best I could. The Trimark Laundry Company would have to wait for their report about renaming their stores.
As a busy advertising account executive I find I do have to prioritise my private life. If Mr. Skid of the Trimark Laundry Company expected to be prioritized over my own personal interests he was very much mistaken.
I spend a half hour each day helping Ali to advance his use of English.
âSo you see, Ali,â I explained, âusing capitalization properly can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example, âI was helping my cousin Jack off his horseâŠâ
At that very moment the door swung open and Bernard bustled into the kitchen.
âGoodness,â I said. âYou gave me a start, Bernard. What on earthâs the matter?â
âIâve got a leak,â he said hurriedly.
âWell, you know where the bathroom is,â I replied.
âNo. Itâs the boat. I need to go and pump it out. It seems to be taking on water.â
I should explain. Bernard keeps a small sloop in the mariner near Huckleberry Close.
âWell, can I help with anything? Biscuits perhaps?â I got up to put the kettle on.
âNo. We have to get down there right away. I wondered if you and Ali could help out,â he said.
âOf course,â I replied reaching for my new London Look lipstick. I wouldnât want to be caught out in a sinking boat without a nice shade, and went to find a nice pale pink sweater.
âItâs just that I need someone to help pump it out.â
I remembered the hours Iâd spent onboard pumping my arm up and down seemingly for hours on a previous occasion. Anyone whoâs been around boats will know this feeling. Up down, up down, and up down. And all to drain the scuppers.
âOh, Iâm sure I can help with that.â
âCan I come too,â piped up Ali.
âOf course,â said Bernard. âThe more the merrier!â
What a fun morning we had. And all because Bernardâs worm gear clamp had not been properly adjusted. I admit this does sound rather more like something in Mistress Megâs realm than mine. Which brings you to the main reason Iâm writing today. I put out a lovely story for my all my members this week â The Long Game. And true to form Mistress Meg has released one of her great self hypnosis files. You can find Mistress Megâs Denial self hypnosis here. Youâll need to be a Seahorse member to access it and if youâve not already done so you can do so here.
Now, I have to go and massage my bicep. All that pumping is quite exhausting. However, at least Bernardâs boat is all shipshape now.
The Crossdresserâs Guide To Marital Bliss is a series of episodes taking a hilarious look at how one crossdresser brought his wife to a place of understanding and acceptance.
I had the strangest experience this week on the way to work. I was on my way into he office and stopped at my favorite sandwich maker to pick up a something light for lunch.
I love to wear a hat on sunny days like the ones weâve been enjoying in Vancouver recently. As a result I had on my nice new black fedora. Itâs a wide brimmed hat and really quite lovely. Iâd done my morning yoga with Sebastian, and then enjoyed a warm shower. I had not managed to dry my hair, being in a rush to get to the office for a meeting. As Iâd left the house I knew I had wet hair tumbling over my shoulders, and I put on my nice new black hat.
I was really quite pleased by the look of it, and with my black coat and white blouse I felt I looked rather sharp. The nice young man behind the counter at the store seemed quite happy to chat to me as he made my sandwich, and I felt quite coy, I must say. I think I was even playing with my hair a little, twisting it around my finger as I do when Iâm a little nervous. It was therefore a surprise when, after heâd handed me my nicely made Reuben sandwich ( https://natashaskitchen.com/reuben-sandwich/ ), just as I was leaving the store the nice young man behind the counter gave me the sweetest of smiles, which I returned, and then he said âShalom.â
You wouldn’t think I would be confused with a member of the Hasidic Jewish community.
It wasnât until I was half way down the street, passing a synagogue, that I caught sight of my reflection and realised, my chatty young friend at the sandwich store must have mistaken me for someone in the Hasidic Jewish community. I was torn between rushing back to explain that Iâm not of that particular spiritual persuasion and getting to my meeting. After a momentâs thought I decided Iâd wait till next time I passed the sandwich place, and then Iâd order some ham sandwiches. Iâm sure heâll work it out in the end.
In the office I loaded up on coffee, in my âYou donât have to be a crossdressing account executive to work here, but it helps!â coffee mug, and then went into my meeting. I was so pleased when after the meeting I got a call from Rainbow, who is visiting on leave from her job at the lighthouse â you may remember she got a job after a little mix up â and we decided to go to the nail salon together. I recommend this to all my members, and itâs also a great way to connect with a girl friend. What could be nicer than going out to get your nails done together. I decided to go to Rainbowâs usual nail salon, rather than my own, as she supports a business which has a policy of employing seniors. How very thoughtful, I thought.
Now, as you know I am most sensitive to the feelings of those around me. I connect with people, you see. I suppose itâs just my own natural empathy. A gift. How it was that I managed to find myself having my nails painted with the only nail tech Iâve ever met who I swear had Parkinsonâs disease, I donât know. Either that or they were suffering withdrawal symptoms from something. Maybe itâs the fumes from all those chemicals.
“They’re going to look lovely,” she croaked in a broad southern drawl as she shakily painted another toe.
So, tonight I am removing the nail polish from my toes. That lovely shade of scarlet looks more like a nasty accident involving a chainsaw and a particularly slippery hand grip. Of course, I couldnât bring myself to say anything. Anyway, if youâve not painted your toes lately perhaps itâs time. Feel free to send me a pic to post on the site.
As you know, I am a very sensitive person. I like to think others come to me because of my gentle nature and empathy. For this very reason I was very concerned about a conversation I recently had with Ali, my gardener and Bernard, my photographer. Things are a little quiet at the advertising agency at present, so Bernard has been out getting his boat ready for the season. He does so love his sailing.
Ali and I were enjoying a very nice German Riesling in the garden, talking about plans I have for the arboretum, or scrub land as Sylvester rather ignorantly refers to the more unkempt section at the bottom of my garden.
âThe Germans really are talented wine makers,â I said as I surveyed the wild flowers.
âIndeed,â said Ali, in his heavily accented Syrian English. âThis is a very âHĂ€nde hochâ.â
âAli, I donât think you can say that. Weâre all on the same side now! Is it racist? I donât know. Besides,â I added, âyou drive a smart car. Isnât that made by Mercedes?â
âOh, Iâm sorry. Itâs my English, you know,â mumbled Ali. I am concerned about his language skills, but I some times suspect he may be trying to pull the wool over my eyes.
At that very moment Bernard appeared at my Garden gate looking most concerned. I invited him in and sat him at the garden table and asked what on earth could be the matter.
âWell,â he started, looking very downcast, âI think I may have upset someone down at the sailing club.â
âHow on earth did you do that,â I asked, eager to help, as ever.
âI was trying to be helpful,â said Bernard. âIt was the Commodore. He was moving his boat, and I offered to lend him a hand.â
âBernard, that sounds very kind of you,â I observed.
âYou obviously donât remember I introduced you to Andrew a couple of years ago at the year end dinner. You remember, he was the guy with only one arm,â replied Bernard awkwardly.
âOnly one arm,â I said slowly. âAh, yes. I remember now. And you offered to lend him a hand?â
âYes. It just, sort of, came out,â he continued. âAnd things got a little chilly after that.â
Just because numbers are improving, it’s not yet time to stop wearing a mask.
âAre you sure he took offence,â I asked. âIt might be that youâre imagining this. Heâs probably just fine.â
At this point Ali chimed in, âYou offered to help the fellow. Whereâs the âarm in that?â
I fixed Ali with a cold stare.
âAli, thatâs not funny,â I said.
You can see the sort of dreadful thing I have to put up with. However, on a brighter note, I am thrilled to say my Premium Program for women is going very nicely. If you know anyone that would benefit from this great program, be sure to suggest they visit my Patreon and look for the $5 a month Package, which is especially for them.
Auntie Kittie has a great new diary entry today, so if youâre a member be sure to check it out.
Have a lovely weekend, stay safe and get a vaccine!
Fiona
PS â Yes. Be sure to get a vaccine. I said that. And I had mine about 10 days ago. Itâs about the most satisfying prick thatâs been in me in a while!
Bernard is full of the joys of spring at this time of year. Heâs doing all sorts of maintenance on his little boat, cleaning his fishing gear until itâs spotlessly clean, and also polishing up his weapon. Heâs a very keen outdoor sportsman.
Weâve had many good times in the past when weâve travelled together for the advertising agency, although there’s been no travel happening for a while. As I see him stripping his gun I am reminded of a lovely trip we had in the highlands of Scotland some years ago. Weâd been invited to shoot grouse on the moors. The beauty of the landscape in that fresh northern light is quite breathtaking. Northern Scotland must be one of the most evocative places on earth, with itâs wild wind swept landscape, lightly brushed with heather.
Weâd walked for miles over the moor and seen ptarmigan and quail at a distance, but it looked like Bernard was going to come back empty handed. I was simply enjoying a lovely day out in the fresh air, and then Bernard got terribly excited, and the next thing I knew he shot a load over my head. It was quite exhilarating. Perhaps you can imagine.
At work I have been surprised by the emergence of a number of committeeâs within the advertising agency. We have one for racial awareness, one for staff empowerment and of course one for gender issues, and others being formed all the time. The job of these task forces is to make sure staff are aware of issues and to maintain a high standard of awareness of contentious issues, for both our clients and our staff. I must say, I think itâs high time awareness of some of these issues was brought to the fore. Itâs a pleasure to see several new faces on these committees, and Iâve been asked to sit on several of them already.
Sebastian was in my kitchen this morning drinking a freshly squeezed orange juice as I stretched in preparation for our yoga class. I must say I do love the yoga wear. Nice leggings and a sports bra are a wonderful look for any gurl.
âI am getting a few more clients,â said Sebastian. âI think people want to get in shape for the summer.â
âWell, now that weâre getting past this damned virus,â I replied, âIâm sure more people are focusing on their health. Itâs a precious gift and needs to be nurtured.â
âSpeaking of nurturing,â said Sebastian, âIâve started a self help group for people who do self-harm.â
âSebastian, thatâs so thoughtful of you. What on earth made you think of such a thing?â
âWell, Rainbow struggled with it,â He told me. âSo, I figured Iâd create a support group. I have to say itâs a hard slog though. Like banging your head against a brick wall.â
âHow very public spirited of you,â I replied.
I have included a post on my website about Sebastianâs suggestions for yoga wear for my members. Heâs been very helpful and put some great ideas up there. You can find it HERE.
Don’t forget, you can join my Patreon for as little as $1 a month HERE. It’s the most fun dollar you’ll spend this month, I guarantee it!
Have a lovely week, and be sure to let me know how you’re getting along.
I have a dear friend who is lesbian. She grew up in a conservative place where being âdifferentâ would earn you a good kicking from kids of her age, and likely from some adults too. She did however have a supportive mother and she found her way.
I have another friend who ran away from their home when it became obvious that she was trans. I say, âit became obviousâ because their body was so obviously feminine, though through a convention of biology and naming she was assigned male gender at birth. Sheâs as feminine as any woman I know but for a minor anatomical quirk.
And of course I know a host of people who as they understood themselves better realised there was an enormous part of themselves that they had suppressed, doing their best to conform to societal norms and denying much of their nature. The fear of being outcasts is a powerful thing, even in the 21st century.
My lesbian friend has phrased it very well. She says, âWe donât raise our own young.â Itâs not far fetched to say that the archetypal emo teen that flees an abusive home, misunderstood by their family and hometown, who ends up on the street in a big city â often homeless and friendless â is far from a meaningless trope. Itâs practically a template for how some of us have rejected and been rejected by society. It all sounds painfully tragic.
But wait⊠As my friend points out, eventually â with a little luck – those âoutsidersâ gravitate to others, and by some miracle find people who are like themselves. It can look a little odd to others, but somehow they find their people, or what we used to call âour tribeâ. Whether itâs the âgaybourhoodâ or friends within the âqueerspaceâ, there are ways to connect with others. We find our way. And we grow.
As we do so we learn to support others like ourselves in whatever way we can. And suddenly there is something akin to family. Perhaps we donât raise our own young, but they do find us and we can nurture them everyday in ways both direct and indirect.
Today we lost one of our own. Sophie was an amazing artist. A creative soul any family should treasure, even one so diverse and dispersed as our own. Letâs take a moment today to appreciate our sister.
Sophie died at 4 a.m. local time on 30 January 2021 at home in Athens, Greece.] According to their UK label, Transgressive, Sophie’s death was caused by slipping and falling while climbing to watch the full moon.
I have an affinity to beautiful birds. I like that the males have such extravagant plumage. And yet there is more that draws me to them.
Consider this. The cage, for most of us a symbol of constrained freedom, for birds is something more. I have opened the door of a cage and watched as they escape and find freedom. Can you imagine that moment, a loved pet fleeing to freedom through the opened cage door. A moment of panic, and then they are gone through an open window. All that fondness and happy memories gone in a flutter of wings.
And two hours later, as I look at the cage, there he is once more. Silently returning to his captivity. A warm sensation of relief in my tummy. Yet, itâs more than relief. Itâs a sense of rewarded trust, for I left that door open quite willingly.
I trusted. And arenât all good relationships based on trust?
Well, this is a story of trust. I think you will enjoy it. Perhaps so much so that you will play along with me. I will ask you to make this an interactive story.
Thatâs right, you can join in. I wonder if you dare. Well, thereâs the opportunity for me to trust you⊠Letâs see how you do. Are you ready to play? I hope youâll feel inclined to use the comments section in this post to let me know.
Mistress Katia Thornwood.
The Lovers â By Katia Thornwood.
Those of you who have been following me for a while know about Paulo, the sentimental poet, who got a little too lost in the compelling world of his Mistress. I am, as you know, all about balancing extremes, and so you can imagine my delight when the sorry little fellow finally got himself a girlfriend – Fern. An actual woman.
And it wasnât his usual thing. Worshiping some completely unattainable woman from afar, and languishing in his own pathetically amusing pain. Such a typical poet. Itâs a pity he has so much of the poetâs nature and so little of the poetâs talent. Not to worry though, his role is to suffer. Regardless, Fern is a real flesh and blood woman.
Many years ago… well, eight years ago, I started writing the Fiona Dobson newsletters and blog. In the early ones I would embed a Youtube video now and then, that often touched in to the themes of the newsletters. That’s how the Fiona Dobson Playlist came in to being.
I add to it from time to time, even though I rarely include them in the mailings these days. Even so, it’s a fun addition and one I’m not likely to drop anytime soon. So, if you need a little lift, have some fun with this. I hope you enjoy it.
Katia’s interests are many and varied. She has something special lined up for Christmas.
I am so pleased to thank all my lovely Seahorse members for their recent kind wishes to Stacey, who has been unwell with Covid. She is now recovering and will be back on her feet soon. In the meantime I can tell you some exciting news.
Katia Thornwood has a new series about to be released for all my members. Now, as you probably know Katia generally writes just for our treasured Seahorse members â those naughty boys and gurls who so desperately need a little extra discipline. However, in line with the Christmas season, sheâs asked me to put this new series out to all my Patreon members. Her generosity knows no bounds (particularly when I am paying her wages).
Katia is keen on her tropical birds. She has been known to stroke a large cockatoo from time to time.
Those of you who know Katia will realise she is quite a strict disciplinarian. She longs for the days of the past when the kindly local policeman, that everybody on the street knows, would give a recalcitrant teenager a clip round the ear as they were hauled off to the gallows. Now, of course, she applies a more impacting version of discipline all of her own. Her new series is called The Lovers and will enthrall all who read it.
What few people know is that Katia is also very keen on her tropical birds. She loves parrots and conures, and has been know to stroke a large cockatoo from time to time as well. Anyway, I know youâll enjoy the upcoming series, The Lovers. If you’re not already a member just join as a Seahorse member for December at just $10 for the month to enjoy this great collection. What better way is there to make Christmas special?
I will be spending a little more time online this month, so if you’d like to check in with me just go to the site and you might find me there chatting through the site chat system. I love to connect with my gurls.
I am pleased to say that all the content here – in the Premium Program and in my Patreon – is designed to appeal to my friends of all adult ages.
A very significant portion of my membership are in their senior years. For many of us, it’s only then that we really know ourselves well enough to accept the feminine within us. I love my senior members.
By the way – don’t forget the great Fiona Dobson playlist for an immediate pick me up! Get to it HERE.
As we progress through our Covid winter I know many of my members are going to feel constrained by the challenges of being either locked down, or at the very least restricted in our movements. These are precisely the challenges that we should rise to as we move through the dark months.
It’s quite normal, when unable to dress as we desire, to feel a little down. Iâd like to make a few suggestions that may assist those of you unable to indulge your usual dressing practice as much as youâd like. It is important to remember that being non-binary, or crossdressing generally, takes place largely between the ears, and not the legs. How you think, and finding that more sensitive side of your nature, is a very important goal.
Youâll find many of the free hypnosis files available here to be of great help. Keeping your mind in the right place, and training yourself to accept it, is a great step forward on your journey â and one that will provide comfort during those moments when there is no possibility of dressing.
The most helpful thing you can do during this time is to develop a routine during the day. When you get up and have your morning wash and shave, waiting a few minutes and then using a little moisturizer is sure to give your skin a nicer texture and will start the day in a positive way. Give yourself a few minutes after shaving, as you donât want the pores of your skin to be too open when you use the moisturizer.
If you have the habit of taking a daily walk during the lockdown, you may wish to try an exercise. Imagine walking in a feminine manner and slowing your pace a little. Taking slightly shorter steps and allowing a more feminine motion, as subtly as you reasonably can, is a satisfying and enjoyable process. Observing how a woman moves, and giving yourself that same, more fluid gait is both satisfying and reinforces the gradual changes that you will start to enjoy as you progress along this path.
Using a small amount of eye make up, probably imperceptible to others, is a good habit to form. Itâs quite normal to feel others will notice it, but rarely do others notice a subtly applied amount of discrete eye shadow. Using it will make you feel more feminine and satisfy that basic urge we all enjoy as we groom ourselves a little.
Planning, selecting a few interesting outfits and combinations of clothes, and doing a little online research into ordering, can be a useful pastime in preparation for more enjoyable times ahead. One way or another, after all, spring is coming.
These are simple steps. Youâll find many more in the Premium Program, should you wish to move more overtly ahead. Most of all you should remember that crossdressing is about being yourself â your true self â rather than the person society has pressured you into being. Doing so, with or without being able to crossdress, will help you feel more comfortable and better prepare you for the months ahead. And don’t forget, there’s a host of stories here to keep you entertained, either free or within the Patreon platform.
What a very stressful few days itâs been. Just today I had one of the neighbourhood boys over while my delightful niece, Nancy and I arranged some flowers in my house. I do find it so relaxing to put out a few nice flower arrangements.
The children in Huckleberry Close seem to gravitate to my house, and the large garden Iâm lucky enough to have. Fionaâs delightful gardener, Ali, has been helping me and cutting some beautiful blooms for me to arrange in the house. The unfortunate challenge of being so available to the neighbourhood children is that from time to time the rather revolting neighbour, Donald comes and plays in my garden. I try to be kind and even handed, but itâs really not always easy. I think all the children think of me as their personal Auntie.
It’s hardly surprising really. They love to come over and are sure to sample my pie, or anything else I put out on the kitchen table. I like to provide a nice spread. Some of the young boys just canât get enough of it. I should be flattered I suppose, that they have such hearty appetites.
âAuntie,â said young Donald this very afternoon. âWhatâs an erection?â
âDonald, thatâs a very unusual question. Now, let me see. Your mother should really talk to you about this, but when a man and a woman⊠No, when two people⊠No, when a small group of people of undetermined genders or something between gendersâŠâ
âAuntie,â said little Nancy jumping in and coming to my rescue between placing holly sprigs in vases Iâd put out on the table. âI think Donald means, âWhatâs an election?ââ
âOh, I see,â I said with relief. âReally? You donât know what that is? Ok, letâs see. How can I explain? Itâs something we do now and then to get rid of people who arenât running the country the way we like it. For example, by locking up all the little children. Or making promises they donât keep, or are generally doing things that are douchy and not representative of our values.â
âWhat are values, Auntie Kittie?â asked Donald.
âDonât worry, Donald,â I replied. âIâll let you know if you ever get any. We usually elect people based on policies, Donald. So, for example in Canada we believe in religious freedoms, freedom of thought and belief, and freedom of expression. You believe in freedom of speech, donât you, Donald?â
âWell, I guess,â agreed Donald reluctantly.
âWell shut up then,â I said firmly.
âTell him about the polls, Auntie,â piped up Nancy, always keen to be of help.
âI donât trust the Poles,â said Young Donald.
âDonât be so racist,â I said and cuffed him around the ear, before sending him off to the bathroom. âBe a sensible boy and be sure to wash your little hands after.â
Donald has a lot to learn in the hygiene department.
Nancy turned to me and said, âIâm not sure Donald quite understands about democracy.â
âOh,â I said gently. âIâm sure heâll learn. And then probably be thrown in a cell where he belongs, before dying alone in disgrace. Under the circumstances I think thatâs not a bad outcome.â
âWhat do you mean, Auntie?â asked Nancy.
âWell, five hundred years ago we would have stoned him to death, in the time honored fashion. Under the circumstances, if I were Donald I would consider myself lucky.â
Donât worry, itâll soon be over. Letâs just stay calm, and choose an extra special pair of panties with which to celebrate as the tide of change flushes out the U-bend of the last four years.
I do so love this time of year, with so many of my nephews and nieces going back to school. And St. Bernadetteâs is as busy as ever, mercifully being spared so many of the challenges of Covid. Itâs so exciting to see some of the new gurls arriving.
Come on, you know you want to wear the panties. Now sit down and let me hypnotise you. You’ll be so much happier as a gurl. Enjoy Stacey’s free hypnosis Here.
You possibly know Stacey, she helps out Mistress Meg. Get better acquainted with her by joining my Seahorse level for just $10 a month. If you need a little encouragement, you’re going to find it’s the best dollar you spend this month!
Iâm so pleased to be able to write to you, in these troubled times itâs so good to be able talk to others just like myself. Perhaps you too get frustrated by the pace of modern life coming face to face the slowed down life we now lead due to Covid. Well, donât worry, Iâm here to help.
On the site thereâs a host of content to help you get through the day, as well as some great hypnosis files that will help relax you. Just explore and youâll find a ton of it.
Before I go on I should answer a query thatâs come in from one of my members, Mildred from Colorado Springs. In reply to her I have to point out that Minsk is a coastal city in northern Russia and not how a Russian drag queen walks down the street. Iâm glad to have cleared that confusion up.
I also want to remind all my Patreon Members that you get a great part of the Patreon site that few people are really aware of. Thereâs a community aspect here where you can post pics and even connect with other members. When youâre a member just go here – https://www.patreon.com/fionadobson/community to participate. Itâs a lot of fun.
Life in Huckleberry Close is a little muted these days, as people reduce the number of people theyâre seeing â reducing their âbubbleâ. Well, as inconvenient as it may be, I think we all understand that this is necessary. Personally I am using this time to get a little fishing in â socially distanced of course. Iâm also enjoying reading a few more books than usual. Itâs a chance to do some of the things I donât usually get time to do. For the moment I just donât really feel comfortable with the idea of going out to restaurants, or getting on a plane.
Sadly Rainbow, who teaches at a local yoga studio, has been laid off, like so many others in that type of work. Sheâs asked me to help her with her resume and to help her apply for a few jobs. I asked her what qualifications she had, and if sheâd graduated.
âOf course,â she replied while sipping her home made kombucha in my kitchen with Ali, my gardener, and I. âI have an advanced degree in Enlightenment with a minor in Colonic Irrigation from the Healing Light Yoga And Ayevedic Academy. Iâm really not used to being unemployed. Itâs almost as if my spiritual GPS is not functioning.â
âWell, Iâll try to help, darling,â I told Rainbow, feeling a little doubtful that those were skills that are in particular demand at present. âPerhaps Sylvester knows someone. Heâs quite well connected in Little Italy.â
âOh yes, I know. Thatâs the area around Patelâs Pizzeria, isnât it?â
âYes,â I said helpfully. âHeâs quite big in the business community there.â
Now, youâre probably wondering why that part of town is called Little Italy. You wouldnât be the first to think it was because of the profusion of immigrants from years back. Itâs got more to do with the fact that it changed sides three times during the second world war, though. A very confused part of town, youâll agree.
Ali listened sympathetically to Rainbow describing her difficulties finding work.
âI sometimes feel like the goddess Kali has cursed me,â said Rainbow.
âOh, I donât think so,â said Ali sagely. âI mean, itâs not as if sheâs going to chase you down the high street beating you with her many arms and laying about you with that nose, trunk, thing of hers. Itâs not like she caught you drinking Coca-cola instead of your usual distilled water, after all.â
âI donât think the goddess Kali would curse Rainbow for that,â I said to Ali, unsure if he was teasing her. I am most concerned that his English lessons sometimes miss the mark a little.
âYouâre right Fiona,â agreed Ali. âPerhaps Sylvester has something for Rainbow in his workshop. After all he runs a very tight shipwreck.â
I look skeptically at Ali. Itâs taken him time to settle into the ways of Canada which are a little different to those of his native Syria.
In these difficult times we are all making adjustments.
Now, I want to tell you all about some spectacular Mary Janes I have recently tried from Glamour Boutique, my favorite online store. First of all, the quality of these shoes is faultless. They fit my size 10 male, size twelve female, feet perfectly. When I recently stopped by The Junction in Vancouverâs Davie Street, the boys were all very complementary, with comments ranging from how elegant they looked, to how good theyâd look beside my favorite serverâs bed.
These are a patent leather shoe, with a four inch heel â I can best describe it as being a heel size that sayâs youâre somewhat innocent, and yet at the same time accessible and possibly a filthy little crotch ferret, much like myself. The dainty strap is equally at home being undone hurriedly after a night out, or being released by a loverâs teeth in a frenzied moment of passion.
Have a good look through Glamour Boutiqueâs site and be sure to mention my name when you order them. Theyâre a great company, reliable and always on point with quality merchandise. You need never feel awkward contacting them, and discretion is their watchword.
Now, I must get back to work. Sebastian, my personal trainer, is coming to give me a workout soon. He tells me heâs got an exciting new exercise regime he wants me to get into. Or vice versa. Something like that.
