I hope you are going to have a wonderful Halloween night. Jules has provided a delightful reading of The Apartment for us. If you’ve no other plans perhaps settling down with a glass of wine just before midnight and enjoying this story would be the perfect way to end the night. You can see the video here.
As I am sure you are aware the start of November marks the end of the competitive eating season. Marjorie, my neighbour has excelled this year, surpassing her best in the highly coveted sausage eating division, a fact made even more surprising because she is in a lesbian relationship with my wife’s appalling friend Amanda.
Marjorie is often billed as ‘The Silo’ in these events. I am told this is an affectionate nickname.
In celebration of her successes Marjorie and Amanda decided to take Sebastian, Sylvester and I to dinner. After some discussion it was decided that we’d go to a very exclusive newly opened sushi restaurant. To mark the occasion I am thrilled to say I found a lovely new skirt from my good friends at The Drag Queen Closet.
As you’ll notice this skirt has a stylish ruching effect. Like all the Drag Queen Closet products this one has a high quality fabric which beautifully expresses the depth of the claret color I had selected. Fabric is very important. Many of us just look at the cut of the skirt, but to carry the color with depth a good quality fabric is required. The sheer nature of lanon is perfect for this.
What I most love about this skirt is it actually helps my deportment. I always wear a bit of a heel, which gives me the posture I am looking for, but the slight tapering inward of this skirt just reminds me to keep my knees together in a ladylike manner. This is a serious business for one who has a propensity to slut out at the slightest opportunity.
Sebastian has commented that I should probably be buried in a Y-shaped coffin, finding that final resting place in that most familiar of postures. He really can be most coarse.
We ended up at the sushi restaurant at about 7.30, enjoyed a lovely Japanese beer, and then settled down for a mixed platter of sushi. This particular restaurant had rather nice arrangement of private cubicles behind those lovely Japanese paper screens which afforded a level of discrete privacy. We sat at a low table and the food was served on the low table before us. All of this was most elegant and sophisticated.
I enjoy salmon particularly, though all the different sushi dishes were excellent. However, part way through the meal something did happen that left a rather strange mark on the evening.
I was sitting, my legs delicately folded beneath me looking quite lovely in the skirt and a plain black silk blouse, and stockings. Sebastian sat opposite, glancing from time to time at a screen which silently played the football game highlights. Sebastian is such a sports nut I really do find it irritating at times, but with my back to the screen I was able to ignore the screen easily.
Then, surprisingly at one point Sebastian murmured, “He really should go deep. One good pass and he’d be away.”
I understand this is a football comment. Having grown up in South Africa, where Rugby is a religion, this is all beyond me. However, from time to time Sebastian would look at Sylvester and say something like, “He should go deep, for heaven’s sake. Did you see that? I mean, really! Did you see that?”
I was enjoying the sushi and Amanda and Marjorie were enjoying each other, as far as I could see. There was a certain amount of touching going on beneath the table, I think. The privacy of these Japanese table arrangements is very discrete.
What happened next happened very swiftly. Sebastian had been putting away the Sake at a pretty good rate, as had Sylvester. I chose to stick to a very light lager while the boys and the two girls raced to the bottle of the nearest barrel. I was really enjoying myself when Sebastian became fixated on the screen and started saying quite loudly, “Go deeper!”
Suddenly an impressive young man was running with the ball and setting up a long pass and hurled the projectile down the pitch. Sebastian was suddenly on his feet shouting, “Deeper! Deeper!”
At that very moment Sylvester started coughing wildly and a moment later his face went from it’s usuall ruddy red to a horrible shade of blue. It quite clashed with my skirt. In a heartbeat Amanda was on her massive feet, stepped behind Sylvester and said, “Don’t worry! I’m a trained professional.”
As Sylvester turned from blue to blue grey, Amanda started jerking Sylveter’s chest in a bear hug and I realised she was doing the heimlich maneuver. A moment later Sylvester coughed and a radish flew from his mouth across the tiny cubicle.
The manager, roused by the cries of “Deeper! Deeper!” came hurrying into the cubicle in time to see Sylvester go sprawling across the delicate low table, and the Sushi plater, only to be pinned under Amanda’s not inconsiderable weight.
“You are animals,” he cried in heavily accented English.
At that very moment Marjorie gave a loud belch, and grinned sheepishly. It’s apparently a common affliction of competitive eaters.
Moments later we were ejected from this exclusive establishment, to my disappointment. However, I suppose all things considered I should not be surprised. One way or another I’ve been thrown out of some of the nicest establishments in the country. Why should this evening have been any different.
If you’d like to buy a lovely skirt like the one I wore that night you can do so here: https://thedragqueencloset.com/products/skirt-miss-secretary-3-colors I know you won’t be disappointed. Be sure to let the girls at The Drag Queen Closet know that Fiona sent you.
😊
Fiona
– http://FionaDobson.com
