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Bernard Gets A Shock.

Well, I hardly know where to start! This week was eventful, to say the very least. On Friday night last week, Bernard my photographer called me very urgently to tell me he needed me to get ready to fly to Hawaii to do a shoot.

Usually I have a little time to prepare, but we ended up flying out on Saturday morning to the spectacular Pacific island I love so very much. Poor little Bernard. He has been under a lot of pressure lately. What with all that travel, and deadlines, and goodness knows what. Anyway, by the time we headed back to Chicago, where we had a meeting on Tuesday, I had noticed he was not looking well.

Bernard has been very odd lately. As you likely know he’s about 48, I would guess. He’s like a sort of uncle to me, I suppose. However, of late he’s been very curious about me, and has been even a little amorous. It’s flattering, but I must say, when I play I usually like to play a little below my age.  I think you know what I mean.

Now, I often love to travel in yoga pants, as they are just so comfortable, and show off my legs nicely. I had noticed Bernard looking at me in a somewhat hungry way. I think you know, I do like to tease him a little, but – well, I really don’t think what happened was my fault. Really.

So, we arrived at O’Hare airport and were waiting for our bags  in the arrival area. What happened was rather extraordinary. I slipped off to the ladies, noticing how Bernard was watching my bum as I walked to the bathroom, and freshened my make up and swapped my travel tee shirt for a fresh one. I always do this, as I like to arrive feeling clean and fresh. I slipped on my heels, which I’d been carrying in my shoulder bag, and brushed my hair. I must say I did look very exciting.

When I stepped out of the bathroom some excitement was going on in the terminal, and I walked back to wear Bernard was. There was some sort of security people running about. Bernard was watching me as I walked, very poised in my heels, toward him. I could tell his excitement was all about me. He was sitting, clutching his Starbucks coffee in his lap.

Now, I have a pretty good idea when a guy looks at me and gets ‘excited’. Bernards baggy cargo shorts were, how should I phrase this, ‘a little disarranged’ by his excitement. His eyes were practically popping out of his head as I walked over to him, turned and sat beside him.

Now, that’s when things began to go wrong. One of those handsome police officers and his friend came running our way, and getting people to move to the far end of the arrivals hall. He shouted at us to stand up, and carry our bags to the far end of the hall. I stood up, but as I glanced at Bernard, I could see he was hesitating. I quickly realised that in his state of excitement it would be very embarrassing for poor little Bernard.

I  leaned over him, and his eyes dropped to my cleavage. I said, “Bernard, we really should go!”

He looked worried, and said, “Wait, errr… errr…”

And then this police officer was suddenly shouting for Bernard to stand up, and the poor dear was white as a sheet. Next thing I know Bernard is being Tazered and twitching like a freshly landed trout.

Later, when I got home and was telling Ali, who was working in my front garden, his first comment to me was, “No, they can’t do that!”

“Well, he did!” I explained.

“But he’s not even black!” said Ali.

“You can’t say that,” I admonished Ali. “In America every one is equally unequal under the law. You need to remember that!”

Silly old Ali! Anyway, Bernard ends up rushed off to hospital. It was terrible, although I must say the nurses had very nice little uniforms. I was quite taken with them. As I say, I can’t bring myself to feel responsible, but theren is a moral to this story. If a policeman asks you to move, even if you have an erection, it may be a good idea to comply!

I shall be sure to keep you informed about Bernard’s progress. He’s currently in the hospital. I am most concerned. I shall put together a nice outfit and go back to visit him after the weekend.

Now, that was not the main reason I am writing to you. I have a lovely new sound file for you.

I know you will want me to keep you informed of Bernard’s progress, so I shall be sure to let you know how he is.

Have a lovely weekend!

🙂

Fiona

PS – If you’re reading this on my blog, you can jump to here to find out what happened next.
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I’m sorry, Gerald’s not home right now.

Ivy showed the Metropolitan police inspector to what she called ‘the drawing room’. It was in fact the living room, but since she and her husband had inherited the place in 1971 they’d always called it that.

“Your husband’s family seemed most concerned,” said the inspector as he sat down in a love seat that had seen better days, and less weary lovers.

“Oh, don’t mind Mildred,” said Ivy, seeing the inspector looking at the sleeping form of a woman in her mid sixties, dozing beneath a brightly colored blanket. A soft snoring sound emanated from the form of the sleeper.

“She has her good days, and she has her bad days,” continued Ivy. “Alzheimer’s. Can you believe she’s barely four years my senior?”

Continue reading “I’m sorry, Gerald’s not home right now.”

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Be careful who you let walk your dog.

I am very proud of my legs.  As Sebastian, my personal trainer has often commented, during our yoga practice, I am able to place my legs in some most unusual positions. As I was doing ‘downward dog’ the other morning I felt first a twinge and then one knee collapsed, and I was revisited by some damage incurred during an old skiing accident.

I am very happy with my general health, however in the fall, now and then, I get a twinge.  It passes within a week or so, and then I am back to tip top health, but this week I am very slow. I know you are wondering what all this has to do anything, but I felt I should confide in you, as what I am about to say might sound just a little odd.

Part of my morning fitness routine, usually following my morning swim with Sebastian – he really does enjoy giving me a morning work out – is to walk my dog, Hannibal. Now, some of you may remember Hannibal has had more than one run in with Amanda over the years. He once found a marital aid under her sofa and the resulting drama was traumatizing for myself and my poor little dachshund.

He subsequently saw Sebastian’s homeopath for PTSD for several weeks. Pet’s Traumatic Stress Disorder is not a widely recognized, at least not in the DSM, but if you were exposed to Amanda’s adult toy collection I guarantee you’d not be the same person after the experience.  A whole teamof therapists wouldn’t be enough, I assure you.

Continue reading “Be careful who you let walk your dog.”

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Taking it to the next level – hypnosis

Is there a gurl inside you ready to be unleashed. Join me on the journey of self discovery that really will set you free.

Hypnosis is a very powerful tool to help you on this journey. Used within the context of a well managed program, such as those I offer, it is even more effective.

Would you like join my free feminization program? It’s a great way to make a start. You can sign up here – http://FionaDobson.com/my-programs

Become a Patron!
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How crossdressing can change the world.

I was sitting in my kitchen this morning, a skillet sizzling on the hob spilling delightful aromas out into the garden, when I heard the sound of Sylvester’s chopper drawing into my driveway. Sensing the presence of sausage he often unaccountably appears. Now, the same could be said of some of my gurlfriends, but that really is another story.

Arriving just as I was about to pour the coffee, Sylvester showed up with his niece, a glorious young creature of thirteen.

“Fiona, this is Anastasia,” he said as he entered. “She’s heard so much about you, she said she’d like to join

Continue reading “How crossdressing can change the world.”
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Can you help fill my holes?

Watching the sun slowly rise over my rose bushes as I sipped my jasmine tea this morning I could almost have been in some tropical paradise. Ali, my gardener, his head bowed toward the east was in my garden on his knees, the dawn reflected by his white robe.

I glanced at the morning news, and swiftly found it depressing. Someone had been arrested for spying on a tech company and there were reports of any number of conspiracies. I really do get tired of these intrigues. I turned off the news and listened to some morning music instead. This really is the nicest part of the day, and I wasn’t going to have it ruined by scandals which I could do nothing about.

I do love my garden, but as I watched the light spread across the verdant greens and browns of fall foliage I noticed a disruption in the tranquility of the universe. My lawn, so lovingly maintained, was pock marked with the evidence of some burrowing creatures. The velvet green of my well manicured grass had evidently attracted an infestation. It was then that I realised that Ali was not praying but peering inquisitively into one of the invaders burrows.

He rose to his feet and then walked purposefully to my kitchen, where I sat enjoying my breakfast of croissants and English marmalade, dressed in a long pale green dressing gown, and creamy silk night dress, with a pink tie about the waist. I do so love the way the silk feels on my skin. It makes me shudder that once I constrained myself with horribly male cotton pyjamas with an image of spider man on blazened on the back. Still, I was eleven at the time.

“Good morning, Ali,” I said as he knocked on the kitchen door and then opened it. “Would you like some jasmine tea, it’s freshly brewed.”

Ali came in and I poured him some of the tea, and he looked at me earnestly.

“We have to act swiftly, madam,” said Ali.

“Well, I’m sure we do,” I said, wondering what on earth he was talking about.

“They’re taking over. Before long we’ll be over run,” he continued.

“Ali,” I said, still confused. “Have you been getting your news from Facebook again?”

“No madam,” he replied. “It’s the moles.”

“I heard something about it on the news,” I said.

“Really?” said Ali. “It must be worse than I thought,” he said, his gaze drawn to the garden. He then added, as an afterthought, “We need to stuff their holes.”

There was an awkward silence and then I said, “That seems a little extreme.”

Ali is a Syrian refugee and came to his new life in Canada a few years ago. Having walked halfway across Europe he and his lovely wife and two girls finally found a safe haven that welcomed them, here in Canada. I know he must have been through any number of traumas during his flight as the country fell into civil war. Still, the inhumane treatment of spies seemed a little harsh. It was then I noticed Ali looking at me rather quizzically.

“Oh, you mean the ‘moles’. In the garden
” I said, realising my mistake.

“Yes, madam. They’re getting in from Marjorie’s, next door.”

“Wine bottles,” he said as if that were all the explanation needed.

Sometimes I think Ali is just saying random words. I really should talk to his English teacher sometime.

“We push them in their holes,” he added.

“Oh, yes.” I said quite suddenly. “I think I saw a video of that once.”

“Yes, we block their holes with wine bottles, and they’ll soon leave,” said Ali.

“Then I suppose we’d better talk to Auntie Kittie.”

Auntie Kittie always has empty wine bottles about the place.  I get the distinct impression they don’t stay full for very long with her. But that’s not the main reason I’m writing to you this morning. I thought I’d make a point of dropping you a line and telling you that Auntie’s Kittie’s diary is as popular as ever and this week anyone who signs up for it (just $1.99 a month, or $12 for the year) will get free entry into our Whatsapp Group (usually $10 a month). I wouldn’t want you to miss out.

Have a lovely week, and let me know how you are doing.

😊

Fiona

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How to talk to your partner about crossdressing. Part 5

Part 1 can be found HERE.

Remembering that this is all about timing, we’re going to move a conversation into the area of fantasies. This should not seem forced, so pick you time carefully. Don’t just say “The weather’s nice for the time of year, and by the way, what do you fantasise about?”

Wait for your moment. Approach the subject with sensitivity, and be gentle. Tell her you would love to know what she fantasises about, because you want to make her happier and to serve her sexually as well as you can.

Continue reading “How to talk to your partner about crossdressing. Part 5”

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How to talk to your partner about crossdressing. Part 4

Part 1 can be found HERE.

At this stage you’re beginning to move your partner toward acting in a specific manner with you. She’s been primed, sees herself as a liberal thinking and open to intimate suggestions (after all, everybody sees her that way), and she sees herself as being in control in a liberated and powerful way.

Continue reading “How to talk to your partner about crossdressing. Part 4”

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Clothes Maketh The Man – Part 62.

In a slumber I slowly woke.  I could feel the rise and the fall of the soft breathing of a form beside me and I quickly remembered 30.

My face was pressed against her shoulder, warm but a little hard.  I could vaguely smell the scent of her.  I remained still savouring the delicate aromas.  I think she used a lavender soap, but behind it I could smell her armpit.

Read On…

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Getting to ‘No’. Telling co-workers to sod off without offending them.

Perhaps you already know this, but when I am not tormenting Sylvester, he of the bedroom eyes and the bathroom mind, I actually work for a living. As an account executive in an advertising agency, I am one of the busiest crossdresser’s that is ever likely to come across your desk.

In pursuit of this questionable career I have written a number of pieces associated with working in a company like this. Not least among these is the very popular “Getting to ‘No’. Telling co-workers to sod off without offending them.”

As a crossdresser working in a busy advertising agency, I am often asked to involve myself on projects that are a complete waste of time, and serve no purpose whatsoever. With this in mind I've been forced to come up with ways to extract myself from situations in the workplace with apparently plausible refusals, without actually appearing to refuse at all.

This is a short but valuable guide for people who need to say 'no', without giving offence. In it I'll deal with a few suggestions, some of which will save your corporate career. There's a few things here that may have a practical application in the personal realm, but this is more aimed at the professional workplace. I know you'll find it to be of help.
Read Getting To No

I am currently trying to lift my presence on Patreon. If you’d like to help me by becoming a Patron I’d really appreciate it. As a token of thanks I am going to give away membership of our Elite Whatsapp Group to the next ten Patrons to sign up. That’s worth $10 a month and is a great supportive way to enjoy your dressing.

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Beware Western Culture is being destroyed by crossdressers!

You can support Natalie HERE.

So, what do you think of ‘Western Civilisation’?

And when some douche says, “Oh, I think that might be a good idea…”

We say, “Actually, I think the idea of a drag club on Davie Street is a way better idea!”

You’re going to love this video from Contrapoints. If you have doubts about post modern neo-marxism, or maybe just need time to adjust your klan hood, you’re going to have fun with this. Now, get your corn dog out and watch this.

Fiona